Podcasthon 2026 Special - Fateful Findings (2012) for Trash Cats Rescue - Clear and Present Dudes: A Thriller Movies Podcast

I have discovered more information than any hacker ever has ever. Hello and welcome back to Clear and Present Dudes, the podcast that does not ask Are you sure I can't F you a little drink? I am right to bar. I am joined by Rory James O'Toole hello and Sonya Bjorkson hello Tonight we are taking a very special deep dive into this bonus sued into the magical mystical world of alter architect visionary dreamweaver plus actor Neil Breen the first a short message. This episode is a special to support podcast on podcast on dot org is about convincing as many hosts as possible to dedicate one episode of their show to a charity of their choice and to release these episodes simultaneously and of course coordinated effort in mid March of 2026.

This opposite was of course come to you guys on the 16th of March to create a massive national and international wave of inspiring audio content. The objective to raise awareness for a huge number of charities worldwide. At which charity have we decided to sport? It is called Trash Cats Rescue, which is a nonprofit foster based cat rescue located in Pittsburgh, PA. Because we watched the movie Striking Distance last year. Many of y'all like cats as well. We're all. We're all cats, so you're all cat dads.

So many of their cats and kittens start from very unglamorous beginnings, such as roaming the streets or living in unsafe conditions. A name originated from a foster. He was a very literal trash cat. He was found in the side of a dumpster. Trash Cat's mission is reduce the suffering of these often 6 scared and or under socialised cats And if a cat or kitten is brought into their rescue, they provide the vetting they need and a safe space for them to leave their trashy beginnings behind to become happy, healthy and adoptable cats.

So that's that's who we're doing it for. So check out Trash Cat Rescue if you live in the Three Rivers area. OK, Neil Breen guys, there are three counts of people who will be listening to this episode when we talk about Neil Breen. They are one they have heard of Neil Breen. They do know the work of Neil Breen and they love the work of Neil Breen. Either ironically or ironically can't do. They have heard of Neil Breen. They hate the work of Neil Breen. They viscerally and are completely over it.

And then finally, Group 3, the people who may not have heard of Neil Breen and need to be educated and hopefully will be shepherded in by three kind podcasters who will guide them by the hand through this, his third film, Fateful Findings, which is to my mind, easily his most accessible work for the people of Group 1. Great welcome. Glad you're here for the people in Group 2. Sorry for the for the people in Group Group 3. Let this be an introduction into this peculiar outside artist who has made several films that someone would say are so bad they're good.

I like to say they are so bad they're still quite bad. Why are we talking about him? Technically all his films do involve spy thriller tropes, Krypton disease, the CIA secret agents, so they kind of count. But Robbie, this is your idea. So I'd like you to explain to the class please, what you've decided to bring in for Shoe and Tell. For a start, I am going to continue hacking in to the government's secrets. I'm going to continue hacking in to the government's secrets. You're using too many one.

Of the reasons I chose this film was I had a feeling it would make Sanya aggressively, violently angry. I know that irritating the German man with access to weapons is probably not the smoothest thing to do. However, it's what I'm doing with this film. Neil Breen's work is utterly insane. He's he's diabolical. I'm coming in hot with a big one, guys. He makes Tommy Wazoo look competent. I'm. Glad you mentioned Tommy Wazoo because I. Mean he He is the elephant in the room for this, isn't it? Oh big time elephant of of the room.

Hey, and of course and of course I'm I'm doing this project on elephants in Africa. Neil doesn't want to hear about that idiot. Excuse people, right? If people haven't seen a Neil Breen film and we're talking about things that are so bad they're good, they might have seen The Room. The Room, of course, came out in 2003. That film has been around a much longer, much bigger, had a movie made about it, you know, by Seth Rogen and and and and so on. Nobody making movies about Neil Breen movies, that's for sure.

Damn right, so. Neil Breen. So if you've read the book The Disaster Artist, which which I have, it's really obviously ghost written, but ostensibly by Greg Estero, who played Mark in the room and it's the basis of the the film they made. You would learn that to me Wizzo is got mysterious origins right? Weirdly, he paints himself as off as like a quote raging Cajun because he has a strange, very obviously Eastern European accent, but he paints himself off as being like French Cajun. From the Bayou.

From the Bayou, Yeah. But what is probably more clear is that he's got, like, mysterious old money wealth from, like, the Urals.

And I mentioned that because he spent $5 million of his own money purchasing cameras and equipment and a green screen and building a set in a building he owned to make The Room. And while he scored that money and that same amount of money, I was used to make the 2009 film Moon by Duncan Jones and looks like super incredible and as a fantastic film, as an amazing soundtrack and all that. Obviously The Room has not got those things. But what I'm trying to say is that kind of money is simply not just on display at all here.

This is this is like cheap and and tawdry, but not that it's charm so. Yeah. I mean, The thing is, for your sake, I mean, let's like address once again, Yeah, another elephant in this room that demands be perceived that Tommy Wassow is probably a vampire. Yeah, Yeah. You say the whole. The whole, yeah, the whole the whole thing. Nickels Cage is a vampire. That's like, that's like a smokescreen. The fact that Tommy Wassow, mysterious man from the Urals, dark on sexual money, you know he's a day walking vampire man stroll the streets of San Francisco whereas Neil Breen is simply an honest architect.

He was probably really weird on a night out, right? Right, Neil, Neil Breen, you've brought us back to Neil Breen. Obviously, this is what we're here to talk about. If we're talking about not mythical creatures, but supernatural beings, Neil Breen. And I don't say this lightly, and I say this in the context of our soft prepare that we were talking about on the Sicario episode. I think Neil Breen might be an alien, and I'm only half joking. I I would not argue that assessment in in the slightest.

Sicario is not from Mexico. Damn, yeah, I I would not be surprised if if he was like kind of one of the advanced God of the Ella Mouse, you know, And when, when, when, when they do do the reveal eventually to the structure more from the content of the files. He's going to be in the White House shaking hands and like, you know, the orange fellow is going to be like this, this aliens walked among you for decades. He's really great. He's the best director. He makes the biggest films, the biggest I. Think he's I don't think he's seen any movies.

I think he's one of the I think he's a brave filmmaker who's made more films than he's watched. I think I think he's right over there with like Michael Owens. What was his iconic tweet? I can't believe I'm on a plane watching a film. This is only the third film I've ever seen in my life. Hashtag hate films and like like deals, deals, like sitting on that like flight with with Michael Owen and he's like, have I got a got a body of work for you, Michael, You will hate films even fucking more. I was given paranormal powers as a child.

I've hacked into just about all the information I need. They have no idea. No more books. You were given the power. Others want to take this from me.

He's writing about government secrets. I knew I loved you when I was 8 years old. All this time I haven't been working on my next book. I've hacked into the most secret government and corporate secrets. I'm.

Using it to make a real difference.

OK Fateful Findings is a 2012 American independent science fiction thriller film directed, written, produced, edited and starring Neil Breen, who was also in charge of production design and decoration, makeup, sound editing, catering and casting. Upon release, it was declared one of the worst films ever made and quickly gained A cult following. Among other things, viewers cites the film's cryptic and incomprehensible plots, which we're going to try and get to the bottom of today. Poor production values, which there is no getting over.

Overt political messages. I don't. Yeah. Stilted dialogue and bizarre and natural performances by Breen, as well as his real life eccentricities as part of the film's ironic appeal. Some critics have cited this film as an example of outsider art and a phenomenon of these so bad it's good media. Let's just get into let's get into a a bit of a plot. I thought to write this up myself because I couldn't find one on online that met my high standards and and there was no way I was going to be able to recount the plot of this film by memory because it's.

Because it's so stupid. It's stupid. The plot's ridiculous. A significant amount of it makes no sense at all. People talk about plot holes in terms of this as a thing in a film. I didn't understand the film. The the plot of this film has legit, real, proper gigantic holes in it. Hardly anything makes sense. Here we go, right? The first shot of the movie is a God. I can't be for doing this. It's like a Dolly. It's not a Dolly, though. They're just walking towards a book on a stand in a storage unit.

The book is big and gold. It's improbably thick. We zoom on this book while some music surges. And then someone off camera but whose shadow is cast from the book drops, Drops glitter onto the book. Like fucking Salt Bay. Yeah, it's so bad. Yeah, that that happens. That might get paid off later. Then we get opening titles, which is all B roll. We see, like, the title card is like a view looking up at a skyscraper as, like, time lapse of clouds fly past all this music. There's like, frenetic piano music surges.

I don't know if that building is meant to be in the film at any point. It's not worth going for the credits because you've not heard of anybody involved in the production of this film. Next. So we start the movie. Our first proper scene is that two children prancing across a bit of Prairie next to some woods. 2 characters who are at this point the same age, which will be important later when it in terms of casting. Yeah, absolutely. Big time. And then walking around the woods, having a bit of a stroll, they walk past.

They walk past like the skull of like a like a bison or something. Yeah, it's a death glow and. Then.

The bombs fell so long ago. And then like inexplicably, as they walked past it, it's head like this skull on the ground, like turns to look at. It's like that's never explained God. And it's like, it's like the skulls like fucking kids again. He's got him. Children coming into my mystical realm, uncovering secrets about themselves and journaling. It's a magical day. One of those rights cover such secrets. That's it. So they find. So the boy finds a large mushroom and goes, Leah, look, a mushroom.

And they kind of presents it like he's selling it on QVC. Yeah. It's like what can I? Do to get you into this mushroom today Leah, what can I do? Slaps mushroom because they can hold so many spores in it. And then over the course of like a like a good like 10, a long 10 second dissolve, the mushroom fades away and we see like a box and it's like it's a treasure. It's a magical day. And they look inside the box and inside the box is a small Black Rock. This is an important rock. He takes out, puts in his pocket here, warns him, you can't leave the box empty.

It's bad luck. And the kid, Dylan says, I'm not afraid. And then Leah's like, whatever, I'm going to make a brace out of these. There's like a bunch of, like, beads, a bit of Mardi Gras beads, just lying down on the ground right next to the box. She puts some of them in the box. She makes the seals rest. She writes down a journal. It's a magical day. It's the exact same order clip played twice. It's a magical day. The box turns back into a mushroom. And then we get like a wide shot of the woods and like, like a really awful smoke effect, like composited in comes across the screen with like a scary like noise.

And it keeps coming back, doesn't like terrible smoke effect comes back like various like supernatural, paranormal, metaphysical moments. And it's yeah, this sucks. So this is the prologue. This is like their kid, their time as a kids. The next thing we see is like the cuts to some parents running to a car with the daughter Leah going. We got to go to the airport and then she's like, where's Dylan? Where's Dylan? And Dylan's like 6 feet in front of her and just and like steps into frame. And then they say goodbye and drives away.

And then we get like Neil's creepy voice over for the first time. This is the first time he'll kneel. And he's like, we had a magical summer together. But then her dad got transferred and she moved away and I never saw Lear ever again. And it's like. Stupid because it acts like the childhood sweethearts, right? That's what I mean about none of the none of the the script making sense, often feeling naturalistic or even like it was written by an actual functional human and not like an alien. Like you said, if you want to show off a fucking 6 to 8 weeks or whatever, you notice I didn't say six to seven weeks, by the way.

It's not like from 6 to 8 weeks and and he's like, my God, I come with you. It's like because she's not your valour of me. She's she's your friend. You hate with a bit. Fucking hell, dude. And yeah, this, this, this does kind of obviously set the scene for what's going to happen later in this absolute cluster of a movie. So set the scene and that right. So this this movie occupies I think the good 4 genres. One of them is really so we get a pass, we're allowed to talk about it. The other genres are like kitchen sink drama, like life, ordinary life on this like housing estate.

We get like romance, romance, plot, a proper like actual, like old oldest gooly romance kinda. And then like one of them is like supernatural horror. Yeah, I, I, I think that the main genre of the film should be stuff I filmed on a handheld digital camera when I was 11. I've seen films like that that are much more engaging and better and more fun and yes, film. But you're totally right, Sonny, You're totally right. It seems like something an early teen came up with and was like, I have a camera, I'm going.

To Yeah, you know what, you're right, except I'm pretty sure like the teen would have would have done something better than what's come out. I was talking to the. The the amount of boobs, yeah. Except it was made by a then 54 year old man. So yeah, I was I was talking to a lad just the idea he was got a plan to write and produce a horror film based on boppet. Now I thought it meant Bobbitt, like John Wayne Bobbitt, the guy whose hog got cut off by his girlfriend. But he means Boppet the toy at the pullet twisted spin it thing.

This guy right is is on this amazing. This is like a great lot of the Pope story. He's on this amazing Hollywood flex of just essentially fucking self self optioning a party toy that he's going to make a fucking low budget horror film about. And it's like, that would be a much better film than this. That would be a much better film than this. This, this, this, this. Youthful excitement will pass well into a fucking horror film of Bobbitt. But the youthful excitement that Neil Brian channels into this film does not do a good job.

Yeah. So we've we've cut to what I presume is meant to be the present day. Yeah. Even though, and this is worth noting, that if there's a 30 year gap between the the past and and the present day. Interesting that Leah's parents drive a relatively contemporary car. Anyway, don't worry about, don't worry about it, don't worry about it. It's just, it's just Breen. This is the Breen beauty verse, right? So how? You, Breen. So, so Dylan, he was. Neil Breen is walking down the street when he calls his wife, who I'm going to call for the entire movie, Melania, because she looks and sounds like Melania Trump.

And she's washing dishes at home without a ring happening or without a vibrate happening. And she knows to pick up the phone and answer it. And she has a one way conversation with Neil where Neil doesn't say a single word, where she's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, hello, hello, hello, hello. And he's silent, still. Yeah, like interest, like Sir, if I don't hear any, any, any talking, I'm going to have to terminate the call. I have customers in the queue. And then he stands across the road. He's a very good boy.

He waits while it's red. He goes on. It's green, but he drops his he drops his PDA. He's sitting at like an. Old LG fucking PDA, it's amazing, incredible and a lot screened up and that is Rolls Royce or do a play. It's just appears and it's and it's like, do we love a scene in a film or a show when someone gets hit by a car out of nowhere and it's a great and it's a great kind of fun. It's not fun for the person getting hit, but it's a cool like thing like throwing whip sure film to kind of grab your attention, shock you, surprise you.

That great scene and I think the first season of Ozark when that Lady who's having an argument with someone steps out and gets taken out by a fucking bin van or a trash whatever. Our. Call it. Richard McCallum is getting run over in Mean Girls. This is the slowest, least cool guy getting hit by a car scene ever. It is terrible. Course he's hit and a a big booby lady wearing tiny skirts and high heels gets out with the car. We don't see her face. She hasn't credit in this film by the way. She doesn't even get a fucking credit, which sucks for her.

So she's out and she walks over to him and she does like the whole he has some smoke kind of thing. Right. Yes, right, I've had to read into this scene. By that I mean I've tried to pass it with my own media literacy by by watching it. And I I think what's happening here is that she's trying to grab the rock. She's seen the Black Rock on the ground and it's temp and it's tempted to steal the Black Rock, but the I'm not, I'm calling it the forest spirit in my notes. But like whatever that like smoke monster is whooshes out and puts her off and she's like, Oh no, I don't want to take it actually.

And then he grabs it and then clutches it. Oh, there we go. That's. What I think is happening but we've become so like desensitised to this film that we aren't pointing out the mental stuff that like the ordinary person is going to be like what the fuck? How do they not talk about that? So like he's crossing the road, there's nobody on the other side of the road yet. We then get a clip of like 6 people's feet all about across the road. When he goes to war. And they're not there, and then and there's no one there, and they actually know that.

And then suddenly they're all there again and they all stand at a perfect Crescent around him. And we cut to each one of them and they're shot from below. So all that's behind them is the blue sky. So we've got no idea where they are. Like the location dislocation of of location is completely there. And they're all just repeating lines, like, is he OK? Is he OK? And then that person's like, it's the Rolls Royce that hit him. I saw it. I'm a witness. I'm a. Witness. Just like, what the fuck? And then and then she walks over.

Someone is over there. Yeah, yeah. And I didn't know if this is possible, but her legs as she does a bit where she's like props over to him. And then she like kind of kicks her leg out and like, I swear to God, even though we never see her face and we only see her legs, I swear to God that leg is overacting. Oh, man, it's painful to watch. And then he does the thing when he grabs the rock and we see, and then we see him on the deck and we see in like, this is Neil Brune. So he's one of the troops.

We'll see if we watch the rest of your songs that he covers everything in fake blood, like an obscene amount of fake blood. His face is like, fine. There's no structural damage to his face, yet he's covered in blood. And they put like, they put like what's meant to be like like grazing on his face as well, but like it's just a bit of a bit of black like drawn to him. So anyway, we see all that and then he goes to the hospital and we get this long sequence in in in the hospital where like they have it's like, oh, we see Jim on the phone as well for the first time.

But because we don't see the rest of the bystanders all together properly, we don't know if he's just a bystander. He's like an important character. Turns out he's an important character. So Jim, who's? What Oh my God kind of thing. Yeah, that's right. Oh, my God, I will get to the hospital. So Jim, Jim and Melania, whose actual name in the film is Emily, but she's Melania, stood next to the bed. He's in what is clearly the bedroom of his house or an apartment building. It's not a hospital, but whatever.

He's in a he's in a bed. There's like a drip set up. There's a switched off laptop on top of, on top of a cart. There is the sound of a heart rate monitor And for some reason there's like 3 gas canisters like like in the back of the room that'd be like linger on multiple times mental. And there's a doctor wearing a really bad hairpiece and he has the worst bedside banner. Like he just turns to to Melania. He's like he's in a, he's in a critical condition and conscious. It does not look good, it's combatants and it's like what the fuck dude.

Just just to kind of just like jump in with like scenes from my current domestic bliss is that I put this film on again just earlier today with with Emma wrong. Just like to watch it and just like refresh myself. And as I walked out at the kitchen, walked back in with with a con that that line was delivered and then and then Emma just angrily delivered it back to the TV unconscious so fucking bad. That's. Brilliant. I showed my wife this film, just the trailer of it, and just within like 10 seconds, she was like, I get it.

I don't want to watch it. Yeah, I was like, it's like. Really the screen writing 2 is semi comatose. Some more great acting in the scene. Melania yells at the body on the bed. We were on the phone when he was hit. Jesus Christ. And then the doctor announces that the director of neurology is it's just just into the room and it's a blonde woman and she's got a bracelet with some beans on it. And it's really fucking obviously Leah, his childhood sweetheart. 8 weeks together, childhood sweetheart. But he's never got over.

His fucking holiday robots 30 hell, but I'm amazed he actually managed to get himself in a life partner of with Melania one leg. He's he's been so mentally flash banged of this girl he hung out with for like a couple of months. He probably is a shit boyfriend. Let's be real. Yeah, well, he is a shit boyfriend. We've we've seen how terrible he is in this whole movie. So yeah. Yeah. So Leah, who is the director of neurology in a room where we can hear a heart monitor, she decides to take an actual pulse with her fingers.

And then she's like, yeah. And she's like, he's not well, he's not doing too good. You know what? He's not my patient. But I'm going to keep it out of Yeah, not, not, not so hot. And then and then the doctor again. Really severely. You should go. He needs plenty of rest and quiet. Get the fuck out of here.

One of my favourite bits about this whole scene is how Melania is is like we are going on a fucking watch list for calling him Melania constantly. OK. Well, Neil Reed's characters girlfriend, he was called in this film, Emily. Emily has some long lines of are we able to talk to him? Can you hear us? And This is why the film obviously kind of subverts expectations because in most films like this, most stories like this and even I think probably real life, when when when you've got a comatose friend or relative and you see it, the doctors attending, you know, can can would talk to them with the heroes.

And they might say, well, I mean, you can't. They might hear you. But this guy's like no, idiot, no idiot, you numb skull. No, he's got a severe head injury. Pissed. Off we've had a little breathing juice for his noob on top of his bandage. He's made it looks like the fucking Elephant Man. It's like the fucking, it's like a fucking English patient over here. And it's. Like English patient? Yeah, like. Yeah, he's just like, no, you idiot worm, you stupid tool. You can't. He can't hear you. In fact, he's virtually fucking dead.

Piss off. Go take pills about it. So she she does, they do, they do leave. They do leave. And then Neil, who still has the rock, we get a shot of like ethereal whooshing, which is a a commonly used term if you're a fan of David Lynch. And we're aware of the, there's a lot of ethereal whooshing in Twin Peaks to return. Well, we get a bit of that here as well. Wow, Four years before Twin Peaks to return, by the way. So four or five years. So well done, Neil Breen. About, I think, like six years after Epstein's first arrest.

Wow, Dylan wakes up and he rips his cannulas out of both his wrists, but it's OK because they weren't actual cannulas, they were just tubes, tapes to his wrists that aren't connected to his body whatsoever so they just come off and there's nothing there. I don't know why Slamming. Date, but not American healthcare. Indeed, I don't know why did he, why did he do a close up shot of that if he knew he hadn't done it properly? Just like do it from a distance where you wouldn't think about it but. He doesn't watch films.

He probably thought he's the first person to do like it. Can you fucking a self a self decanalization scene? You know, because he doesn't watch films. He probably thinks he's a first man to make a film. Indeed, indeed. So Neil gets up and leaves the hospital. We get our first shot of a switched off laptop at 10 minutes 50 by the way, as well during this sequence. And then we only get actually, I'll tell you what we do get here. We get like a one like half decent bit of green screen from Neil Breen, which is he gets up and walks out of the door, entering into that room.

And you see like a hospital ward outside of the room. Obviously he didn't film as an hospital. So that must be green screen. It's ruminable because you see his full bare ass awful. And then he goes home. He enters his house. He's still got the bandage on. He's incredibly bloody. He walks into the shower. Melania is pissed. She's like, what are you doing at home? And he's like, I let myself out and he's like, help me, help me. And then they have a shower together and like an insane amount of blood pulls around his feet.

Like like he still has an arterial bleed amounts of blood. That's so weird because one that kind of establishing shot when he's in the shower and it's kind of a close up on his on his feet and, and and he's like kind of flexing his fucking toes while obviously out of shot. He's like pouring fake blood like down his leg and it's a sort of tooling. And it's like that even even her reactions, her responses that the writings dog show. I'm not going to even give the the actors any crap for this because I think this man is like 5 times worse a strip writer than Tommy Wasso is.

The line's terrible. The dialogue's off. The reactions are fucking hard to. It's like, yeah, you, you would react kind of adamantly and passionately about this thing, but not like, oh, you're back from hospital. It's like, why is that fucking blood everywhere? Why you're in my fucking shower? What the hell, man? Our reaction should be more kind of, more kind of like shocked, surprised, outlandish. She should have had the kind of I'm very pissy energy, you know, after you've been transferred to her, the mulrun hinges kind of like freak out thing.

You know she's like, I am angry at you, you weird naked blood man. Yeah, very strange. So then the next thing we get to is Melania is on the phone to to Leah and she tells Leah that he's fine. In fact, in fact he's he's in his office right now working cut to Dylan reading a book or the just cut just jacket taken off. He's surrounded by he's got 3 old laptops in front of him. Yeah. He puts the book down and smashes all the laptops off the desk. He has like first of like many sequences where he like just flails for no reason.

It's. Amazing. And he's got this like silly, he's got like a silly, like dressing on his, on his ear, right? A giant big part. Yeah, he looks like Donald Trump after he got his quote, UN quote assassination attempt. Yeah, yeah, he's got that on. Yeah, we are all you're all Donald. Fuck me. And then it then it cuts to him and then it breaks the 180 rule cuts to him. It's in the same. I don't know how much time has passed. So he's passed out and from his desk. And then it keeps him awake again on the phone to his publisher saying that he's got a deadline.

We've all got deadlines. I'll call you. Don't call me anymore. I'll get my book to you. We're meant to infer that he's a novelist and he's working on a novel and he's talking to his agent or a publisher. And then and then it cuts to him again. What's he doing? He's like looking at some papers or something where he's about to start typing. And then we get like a voice over from from Neil. So we're talking from the mind of Neil Ring at Dylan saying I have a damn master's degree in computer science and I turned out to be a writer of novels.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, Neil. What I like about this, I don't, I don't want to call it film. What I like about this experience is if you're not sure what's going on, occasionally he will stop and spell out for you. So that's something. It's bad. Are you ready to meet? Are you ready to meet Amy and Jim? Oh, absolutely, because I love these guys. Right, OK, so these guys are the being heart of the movie for me. So I think that maybe Neighbours, it's not really clear how they knew each other, but we cut a couple sitting in their living room.

Everything's Magnolia coloured and we have on the left a blonde woman called Amy Side Boob. Sorry, sidebar. No women in this movie appear to be allowed to wear bras, and that's going to be a recurring theme. I think maybe in his mind it's like it's like a women's lip thing and like they burned the bras in the 60s. Because I believe in, I can imagine I. Can imagine Neil saying it in that Neil voice. They burned the bras. I believe in this. I believe in this. I never had a beard. They burned the bras in the 60s.

So we see this couple, they're sat in silence in their living room. She's just sat there facing her husband. Jim has sat there, her husband, who we saw earlier on in his in his right hand, a bottle of vodka. In his left hand, a 16 ounce Tumblr full of vodka, and he's just like sculling 1 pouring it in. He's like. Yeah, and then he's like, can Ioffer you a drink? And she's like, no. And then and then he does like the weirdest, the weirdest fucking thing in the world, which is that he kind of like crab walks across the room towards her holding both the drinks.

Are you sure I can't offer you a little drink? It's like, well, that's the crippiest thing. She like gets like, she like, she's like on a like a like an Ottoman and she like gets off it and moves to a further away chair because she's so freaked up by him. They all, they all, by the way, the best actors in the film. Yeah, they are. I I mean, Amy, he has an issue with volume control and that she's, she's always up here. I think that Neil is probably tell not be louder much about Amy. I love a bit louder.

You've got to be louder and just like, OK, what I've on you're. Feeling you're you're a carrot. You feel angry. You feel pissy. Yeah, so you can. Oh my God. She goes, Yeah, she goes into Amy. He's like he says to Amy. He says to Amy, we don't have sex anymore. Do you realise that? Like, she's going to miss, like, she's not going to know. And then she's like, quite, quite rightfully. Where did that come from? Where did that come from? And he's like, it's been months, you're my wife, I want to share that with you.

And then she says I'm very messy, my back is killing me. Killing me. My office at the bank is having major problems. It's amazing. I love it. It's like, yes, it wouldn't. All your back's killing you because your director said don't wear bras because he did the 60s. I'm an ally. I'm an ally. I'm Neil Breed. I'm a feminist. They burnt the bras in the 60s. I'm such an ally. I never wear bras, you know, It's like. And then and then he's like, be quiet, she'll hear you. And then Jim says your stepdaughter, maybe she should hear this so she doesn't make the same mistake.

And I'm like, wait a minute, who? Who's related to this kid then? Yeah, what the fuck so. So why is she living with you? Yes, So what the fuck? I don't mean she's she, She what? The fuck? Yeah, yeah. Holy shit, man. I'm not. Didn't like pick that shit up until like my third fucking rewatch. Your stepdaughter. So not my daughter, Your stepdaughter. That's weird. That's really strange. Well, as the OG husband then. What's going on? Dad. It's also kind of weird because. His soul is trapped inside the little black cube.

The OG husband is dad. A soul is trapped in the black cube. And also like stepdaughter I was like about like literally. I mean in real life the actresses are like have have like 3 years between them. Like she's literally I think like 3 years younger than her or something like that. She's like she's like 19. No, she's she's, she's I think three years younger than the leading lady, than the doctor. So I imagine she's probably a similar age to. Max 555 to seven years between them. They look like the same age.

It's so weird you. Got like friends, like bets like buddies. You've already you've already recruited them at the same time. 18 and I just had the tab open and she's brag 4994 excuse me? But the German starts throwing round the fours. What is man? I might have just, oh, sit myself as a time traveller. Excuse me? In 2049, this movie is for the future. We've come backwards. Oh my. God perhaps? The kids parents are probably just the weird ruching effect going through the and the pressure shots. So that's Jim and Amy and their roommate Ali, their ward, and

we're going to see them a few more times for this movie. They are pretty much called the same beat throat and that they are deeply unhappy people and but we need to see it every now and again. And this is what I mean when I say the film is a bit of a kitchen sink drama. It does occupy a very weird space, I think. And like I, I, I crafted something earlier on. I called it what the, the cycle of faithful findings. Let me recount for you now my faithful finding cycle. And this is a work in progress.

It's not finished. Number one, what the fuck even is this #2 this is so bad, it's bad #3 maybe there's more going on here. Maybe it's like David Lynch without the money in formal training. 4 Holy shit, there's a real story here. 5 my bad, this is so bad it's bad. Six, what the fuck even is this? And you will do that over and over again. At the minute I'm on This is 3. So I think some of that David Lynch taps into a lot in Swim Peaks to return particularly. And all of his work is that occasionally he will go away from this like cosmic with supernatural stuff and then get really, really deeply involved in someone's domestic nonsense and watch that for a bit.

And it's like a weird kind of like scaling thing he does. And I don't know if Neil's intentionally doing that here, but we do see a lot of it. And that's as much credit as I'm going to throw Neil's way and the fact that this came out before the return. So he's going off like original Twin Peaks, Lost Highway, Mulholland Dr. You know what this movie is, right? This is if if the room is like outside the art version of like a Tennessee Williams play, then this is like an outsider art version of Mulholland Dr, which is already fucking outsider art.

So what the fuck? Anyway, right? Next scene, Neil, where are my pills? Where are my pills? We all ask the same question. And then Milan is like, I will get them value. And then she takes a couple that I think and then she grabs them and she's given. Then she chucks them to him. He catches them and he looks at me, goes I don't need these. I'm not going to take these anymore. You will just freak it out because you didn't have them. Sir, please stop my emotional support pills. And then we get, then he throws them in the toilet, right?

Neil's like, no more, no more. And then pours them into the toilet. They don't like fucking Benadryl or like those pink ibuprofen, by the way. Yeah, it could be Benadryl. She might be fixing to see the hot man and. Then he walks away. He casts the bottle down onto the bathroom floor. Doesn't put in a bed, just casts it down. He gone. And then she walks over to the toilet and fishes them out of the toilet. And I need to stop for it now. And remind you all that this film was probably filmed in Neil Breen's house.

That's Neil Breen's real toilet that Neil Breen really shits in. And. She just gets them out and just looks at them in her hand. It's like time is a factor. These things will be degrading very quickly due to the fact that there's the water all around them fucking drying them out. Milan. Yeah, you idiot. They're real, whooshing over the laptops, this rock that he really, really cares about his head since he's a child, that unlocks his powers. He's left it looting on a pile of files on his desk and it falls.

But then we see a scene of the the rock in his hand, and then it dissolves out of his hand. And then we enter the pocket dimension, which is the weird black room, which is Neil Breen's box room that he's coated all the walls and furniture in with bin liners. Yeah. I'm in the bin bag room. Don't disturb me while I'm filming. I'm making a masterpiece. I'm working in my bin bag room. Told you don't bother me when? I'm I'm nude in here as well. It's. All new in here. He's always nude in there. Creepy as fuck.

It is creepy as fuck. That's in bag room. Mum found the pin back room. You know that's the difference. Pissed rolls are for boys, Bin bag rooms are for Matt. So what do we think the bin bag room represents? An excuse for Neil Breen they got fucking naked because this film is his like way of getting his Dick out without getting arrested for him. What does Neil Breen really think about though? He was making like he's inside the rock. What does the rock like? What's the bin bag? What's the bin bagroom?

What's the what's the park dimension inside the stone? Is it him? Is it? I don't think this film even knows. I don't think Neil knows. I think this is a supernatural film that has no idea of a sort internal mythology and by force or cosmology doesn't know how any of the shit that it puts out there actually works. If pressed, imagine he'd say, oh, it's just the darkness in my soul and it's and it's my mind palace and it's the depths within me. But I don't think there's any real kind of yeah, it's.

It's my palace. It shows all the imagination. Yeah, you. Know.

Hold up as Janice is real. Hold up. Sonia's right against this fire. Yeah. So this is something else I'm going to say is like when I watched this film, I thought this is the kind of movie that would probably be an intimacy coordinator, but it would just be Neil himself. Like it is, every else is Neil. Just like fucking fucking deal with like a fake moustache and some fake glasses. Like hello, I'm Bill Reen, I'm

the intimacy coordinator. Pay no attention to fuck to fly my jeans isn't done, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So like in the credits of this film, because in his previous two films, he just put Neil Breen, Neil Breen, Neil Breen for everything and he got rinsed for it. So he thought, I'm going to go around it this time. I'm going to make up some fake companies so that people can see that I've got like my craft services are funded from somewhere else and stuff. But then at the bottom of the credits, because he can't fucking stop himself, he writes, he writes all companies that have AB or an N in the name are actually Neil Breen.

So like you go back and it's like like bits of food over school and it says like, that's Neil Breen. So like for this you would have been like interesting coordinator butts and boobs. But it would have been Neil Breen still. Yeah, balls and nipples. Yeah. Oh Jesus Christ. Absolutely. Is he just making these films so he can like legally expose himself to people? That's kind of a dark question to ask. I don't think there's any real like allegations against Neil Breen. I might be wrong but but don't need to say is asked so much.

Yeah, unless on his planet they don't, they don't normally harvasses. And it's like, yeah, actually the human form he's taken to make this is he's quite excited about the. OK, so. I mean, we still haven't decided what he's doing in his mind being. No, right. So right. Yeah. I think I'm with Rory to a certain extent that it doesn't mean anything, but I did. I did watch like a a YouTube video by a guy who took it all very seriously and he tried to explain it. I forgot what he said, mate. It was, it was too much of it.

There's too much of it. Incredible skin. Give give it way too much credence. I was like, Nah, that's not, that's not communicated to us at all. That's bullshit, No? My bin is actually the box from the beginning. No, he's inside. He's inside. He's inside the box. And he's not inside the rock, he's inside the box now. Yeah, and he's the rock. He is the rock and he's in the box. What Neil Breed is cooking. He is indeed the most electrifying man in a sports, entertainment and movie magic. Or or Turdam.

Oh my. God, Neil, the rock brain, right? Moving on, please. Neil goes to therapy. Sorry, Dylan goes to therapy. Neil should go to therapy. We see that he's sat on a really long table with him and the therapist at the ends of it to probably imply some distance between them, like they aren't seeing eye to eye. It's very E level English level shit here. It's just the fucking Putin desk right at this. Point. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You better stay the fuck out of my living room. What I what I really like is Neil starts a shot looking at Dylan and then he pans across.

He's going to paddle it on the desk and go all the way to the rear end. But he gets bored of it in the editing process and gets off the shot and goes actually just cut to the guy. And then they have a bit of a discussion. He's like, I was supportive of you when you wrote your first novel. Just get, just show it like through that exposition. And he's like, I offered you medications. I could help you concentrate, like, give me some other role. And then Neil says I'm feeling less stable. And then it just cuts to him walking out of the room, like walking down the stairs, like, right, you just drop a bomb at the end of your session and what happened?

That's the end of our time. I was too busy expositing for the last 59 minutes. That's how I conversed with with my boss actually. I made off hand comments to the person watching in the corner that isn't actually there and then just end the conversation by saying Sir I'm feeling less stable I need to leave out. Just drop an on sequence and bounce. Dylan talks to his publisher again and during this we see some weird editing. We cut back to Melania as she's doing the dishes that she was doing during the accident at the very beginning of the film.

Like same outfit, same shot. Very weird. He has he has a funny opinion of women, doesn't he? It's like all, all, all, all women work at the bank and also do the dishes all the time. Yes, right. Yes, that's a good point. So maybe. Like he's never met a human in his life. So maybe this is how. Maybe this is how Amy and Melania are supposed to know each other, because they both work at the bank. Yeah, I was going to say that me do. Dish do dishes. The fucking cleaners at the bank.

Oh well, you guys both work the bank, what do you do? The dishes. The bank is having trouble. This is not a sink. Dishwasher broke. We are not sexist, Neil Bruner sexist. I just want to say that right now. Yeah, yeah. I mean, he's he's he's he's at this point, he's sexist until proven otherwise. I mean, I'm not gonna like, you know, fucking bang the drum too much, but it is weird. He writes women in an incredibly weird fashion. Yeah, I am Disney. I would just say no one would say that. I first thought she said I am busy.

Then I listened to it like 4 times in the bounds. She was like Nope that's pissy. That's a that's a pissy. Yeah, hard to beat. I was equally uncertain and she actually said her but. No, she's pissy. She is pissy and to be fair, she plays her pissy. Good job by that actress. Dylan talks to his publisher again and then we get a grace meme worthy scene. Probably one of the scenes that you'll see on YouTube if you look this movie up. It's him trying to drink a coffee and then his hand wobbles loads and then he passes out and the coffee he rested on his laptop.

And then clearly Neil thinks this wasn't dramatic enough. I'm going to go for it. I'm going to go for it. So he wakes up again and tries to gesture towards drinking the coffee like he's weakened and feebled. He remembers the crash during it. And then he like goes to drink the coffee and then he pass out again, but this time and he spills the coffee all over the laptop and his papers on his desk and it's fucking ridiculous and it makes me actually angry when I was watching. Yeah, yeah, it's, it has no, like, fucking impact because we know those laptops aren't turned on.

We've got no knowledge or interest in what he's actually working on. We don't see the stakes of what he's creating, but don't see information about the hacking that he's doing or the novel he's writing. We'll just say him and a bunch of broken laptops that he probably got off fucking Craigslist sounded job lot of 15 busted up laptops don't have hard drives in them. Got him off a guy called Epstein like fucking oh wow, you you spilled some coffee over the thing that hasn't been turned on this whole movie and you and got some on the documents that we don't give a shit about.

Well done, Matt. Yeah, we don't care about what he's working on. He's not working as novel. We find out, but we don't care about what he is working on either because he never explains any of it. But we don't start when we when we when we hit it. Before that. The introduction to Neils Ferrari, which has his own page on his website. In the Bruno verse section, it is called the Ferrari, which is a misspelling of Ferrari because he has a vanity plate on the vehicle. That's that spells Ferrari, which you'll see if you watch Double down.

Very strange. It also says the website that Jim was only allowed and that's he calls him Jim on the website as well, not the actor's name. It says that Jim was only allowed to touch the mirrors. And sure enough, in the scene we see Jim polishing the mirror and touching nothing else on the car. And then Amy comes in and says Jim, you care more about that car than me. And then like you would rather stay in here and get drunk with that car than be with me. And it's like he's been begging you for ages to touch and you show him no attention.

I. Mean he's been trying to hit for ages. So sorry if you know, he's he's, he's maintaining his dignity by just going and car maxing for a bit, you know? Like, yeah, and just sure, the car but only let him touch. It's a wing mirror, but at least the car's letting him touch something. Jim deserves better. Jim deserved better. Hashtag justice for Jim. Can't be out of this one, Jim. Yeah. Can't be out of this one. Yeah. And the fights Jim and Amy for a meal. And this is small good. This is weird. So there's a there's a costume change between Amy shouting at Jim and Amy on the phone to my line.

So we have no idea how much time has passed. And actually this is true of like the whole movie. It's not clear if this is like a day or like weeks or months since since the accident happened. The fact that Dylan has no visible scarring or anything at all after the first couple of scenes. I've no idea how long this has taken place with it. This film doesn't it be able to have any kind of like you're right chronology. You got no sense at all of time passing in the slightest, which is there's like another tick in the box of he doesn't know how well films work.

He doesn't know how to tell stories. He's he's he's a filmmaker who can't make a film and yet he persists. And yet he does so. So that's that's stalwart, stalwart space alien drive, like the film industry really needs. He's not of this Earth. He doesn't know films. He hasn't ever seen one. He's over 7000 years old. He comes from like Gamma Hyperion 7 or whatever. And and he's the carbon based life form that's going to save Hollywood. I'm glad you mentioned that right now, because this scene is where I was certain I was made certain that Neil Breeder is not a human being.

Yeah, and there's maybe never had a meal with other people before. Yeah, he's never had a fucking conversation with other people before. One of my highlights of this, one of my highlights is would you like my wine? I'd love your wine. Tries the wine, then turns the kneel. Well, you've recovered really well. It's like, OK, so just just completely bin our off about giving our wine critique. It's like. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So weird. It was funny about this as well, though, because, like, I mean, they they work together, right?

So that's that workmates. But later on, Melania is like, I hate my job at the mark. All my coworkers suck. It's like, I hate the people I work with. Yeah, my job sucks. I hate the people I work with. Yeah, as you said, including your best friend. And it's like, yeah, wow. Yeah, this, this scene just makes no one responds to each other. Everyone just makes a statement apart from Neil. People say things to Neil. Neil gets himself a line and says back stuff. So like Jim says to Neil, like you were really bad shape.

We thought you were gonna die. And he's like, I've got really good family genes, but I'm still in a lot of pain. He's like, all right, Peter Grandma, but I'm built different, you know? Ali Neil asks Ali how's school's going. She goes nearly done, but I have got one big project left on elephants in Africa. And then they're like, Neil. Neil wouldn't care about this stupid shit, you idiots. Child elephants. Yeah, Neil doesn't care, but he's like, he does care. Yeah, I initially thought this doesn't seem as metal because they're all sat at the day table, but there's no no food there yet.

Yeah. So then, Jim? Fucking drunk and he like knocks his beer over that. Can I have some wine? But you see it like really clearly just being full of water as well. It's just water. And then he's like, can I have some more wine? That's amazing. No. And like, you know what this is? This is like dialogue translated from Simlish to English. Yeah, it is. It's like a bunch of fucking Sims having a nonsensical conversation robbing stuff and just be yeah. Like that. Like. Football icon. Tragedy mask icon.

Totally and. Cookie stick icon. Astronaut icon double negative. Yeah, and then and then water just gets up and I fucking scrapes the plate over the bin like a depressed fucking SIM. It's even got a swimming start and see if we've got a swimming pool. You can build this in The Sims, get all the family into the swimming pool and remove the fucking ladders. I. Love it. Oh man, Yeah, this is incredible. I want to talk about the swimming pool, but when we get to Jesus Christ so good, then we get probably the most important line of dialogue in the movie because it cuts suddenly and abruptly back to Dylan in his office.

He's taboo in his computer. I'm going to continue hacking into these government systems to see what I can find out about all this national and international corruption I know is going on. Incredible. So that's like fucking 45 minutes into the film. When I first watched that, my head exploded figuratively. Minded literally like what the fuck? Speaking of the clone. I was not ready for that. Oh, you're like Tony Shalhoubin. Men in black head exploded, and a tiny little girl grew up in its place. Yeah, yeah, that's that's the reason for the massive caffeine intake.

It's like because because the tiny head. So that was really weird. And then it cuts again abruptly again. I know another thing you have in the film is you have no idea what time of day it is because everything was filmed at 2:00 in the afternoon with a blind shot. Yeah. So I don't know if it's maybe the middle of the night or like a siesta or like first thing in the morning. I think he's filming on people. 'S lunch breaks, isn't it really? That's to be honest, yeah. It's like filming on. People's lunch breaks, possibly.

So we got a weird shot of Amy and Jim in bed. Amy is lying face down on the bed with, like, her squished side boob visible to us because the sheets are like, halfway down her back. Yeah, nobody sleeps like this. Nobody has ever slept like this. Jim. Amy. Amy. Can. We can we talk now again, Dooley wakes her up to ask her this and then she kind of just turns her back to like any reasonable person would. And then he turns us back to her and he looks sad. And we're, we get it. They're they're unhappy.

Then we get Melania on the phone with somebody turned off the same day. Could be this could be 10 weeks later that mother's on the phone with somebody. She is, I think, stoned. Yeah. And she's complained to somebody that Dylan has stopped taking his pills. And she goes, asks, can you get me some? And we don't know who it is yet. We find out in about half an hour. But that's a weird little known sequence of the scene. Yeah, then we get back to the therapist again. It means fucking nothing. It's so annoying.

They have the same composition in circles again, The service isn't helping him, blah blah blah blah blah. Fucking sick of it. Succeed in it. We'll see him one more time. Fucks me off every time. And then we got a great bit. It's Neil and Dylan and Melania having their their fight where Dylan finally says another piece of plot that if you would pay attention to, spells it out. You're a pill taking for pain relief has gotten out of control. I told you this was going to drive us apart. This is the first time we're seeing them talk about.

The film doesn't tell you why he's just taking it at all apart from pain relief. I wonder if he got confused because because I mean fucking Amy's back sore all the time right? Did he just confuse himself when he was writing? Like did he just like attack himself in the confusion? Amy and Melania, yeah, are like the same character. And we even get a scene later on when Melania is taking pills. Yeah, yeah. That's. What? Amy? Yeah, Amy, So Amy's taking pills. Yeah. So they're both taking pills. And it's like, hang on a minute.

What the fuck? So is that meant to be like a commentary about how in suburban America, everyone's living the same lives and that this this stuff going behind all the doors and it happens to be all be the same stuff? Am I giving them too much credit again? Women beyond pills, am I right, fellow humans? Women. What do women do? They stay, stay, wash a dish. They work at bank and they all have pill addictions. They drink wine. Hello fellow human man. Am I right? Am I right? Well, am I wrong? Brown haired women get stoned and call their dealer.

Blonde women shoot that car full of holes. Am I right They. Are pissy and have back pain. I am I am not. No, no comment. All they do is eat hot chips, be in chronic pain, twerk, and lie. Jesus. Yeah, he's not beating any kind of sexism allegations at all. I, I do think all the women he's cast in this film do know how to twerk because I do think as a, as a resident of Las Vegas, he's cast them entirely out of strippers. And I think he says as much as that in, in, in an interview I've read. Anyway, Melania agrees that she has a drug problem, but she loves the pills.

They should be lost without them. She refuses to go to rehab. We get a solitary shot of Dylan's office, again without him in it. I think we're going to guess which laptop isn't there, because the next thing we see is I'm back in the living room again, but this time he has a laptop and he's typing and he's like, I got to get this work done. And then Bologna is on the phone. She hangs up the phone. She's pissed. She goes by. Job sucks. Yes. I don't like the people I work with and then telling like completely ignores it just goes, I've just about hacked into all the information that I need.

Like I've got a couple more good hacks to do now. They got it. We know your job. It's your fault you married the President of the United States. What more hacking I'm done, guys, one more fucking hack. You know what it's like It's it's it's like that fucking God happening when they can ask KCD reference. It's like an ex KCD comic when like there's there's there's a woman in bed and she's going my husband come to bed. He's like, no, somebody on the Internet is wrong. And it's like it's it's. Big energy.

So what happens now is Dylan and Melania continue having this argument when neither of them acknowledge what the other one is saying and they talk a complete cross services. So Dylan's like, Dylan's like, I've got to get this work done. I have so much work to do. And like Melania is like the bank is. Failing. Pills help. Like what the fuck? And then Dylan finally acknowledges and goes, it's a crutch, get off the pills, straighten your life out. And she's like, maybe it's because of you that I'm on that pills.

Probably, to be honest. Probably if I was hard. Work is hard work. This if I woke up in the morning and Neil Brune said put your hands in my toilet and collect these pills that I've dropped in there, man, I'd I'd want to take them too. Immediately after the scene they make up and they have a sex scene. So fucked up. So if you're watching if you watch the argument scene, you will notice that he's wearing like a black T-shirt. She's wearing like a like a turquoise top and they have the little slits in the collar here.

Yeah, that gets paid off here. And so they go back to his office and they kind of like, start like kind of tugging on each other. He like starts like sweeping stuff off the desk, but he doesn't do it like in one smooth motion. It's Jin Jelly doing it as if he's a stranger to his own body, as if he barely possesses this meat suit. He's transferred himself from his normal crystalline form into this human body that he has hanging in his like metal fucking body locker. And he's still getting used to how to move things.

Because normally on his home planet, that's all done the mind. He's got a mind all like one big proboscis I can. He's just got more like multi purpose proboscis and like comes out of his test and he used to like pick things up but also like hypnotise people that there was bitten and shit. So using a normal fucking like bipedal humanoid. What is strange to him? Hence the. Exactly. Gingerly sweeping off the books, then. Yeah, yeah, I think no, no less than three times, maybe. Fourth time he picks up like a bundle of papers and drops them over their heads.

Yeah. Which are meant to be like, notes from his novel, I guess. But like 4 times. And they laugh. And then they do and they do this weird thing where like, that's a really dramatic, like, clearing the decks so we can fuck on this desk kind of movement. But then they kind of like, have a really chaste, like, mouths closed kiss every now and again. And then they like kind of awkwardly, like, RIP their each of his shirts off. And there's one bit that makes me genuinely angry. So on the left of frame is, is is Neil Breen.

On the right of frame is Melania Trump. And then, and then it cuts to their feet and their feet are the other way around. Yeah. Yeah. So like, oh, right, So what? Neil's got like painted to a nails, like what's going on? And then their shirts drop. Beyond him, to be honest. He's an alien to our planet, dude. He doesn't know our social Mori is yet. Leave him alone, give him some credit. Yeah, really weird and I hate it. First of the first of two really awkward sex scenes in this film where all they do is they kiss a little bit and their shirts come off.

Thankfully we don't see any nip. Awkward. Compare and contrast this to the sex scenes in the room. Yeah, let's do this. Yeah. Who hasn't? Have you? Have you seen the room, Sonya? Jesus Christ. So the sexy watching. Yeah, so the sex scenes in the room actually look and feel like actual movie sex scenes. They're not great. And there is a point when it looks like Tommy's trying to fuck his girlfriend in the belly button still apart from his. We had posture on that one scene. I love Sandy's look on his face.

That's amazing. Just just a little concern. It's kind of like gyrating, but a little bit too high for a body. Yeah, but the sex scenes in the room look like actual sex scenes. This is just, again, it's so weird, so uncanny, it's so strange. This guy cannot make films. He can't write films. He can't write sex scenes. Action scenes, dialogue, anything. Yeah, so like in in the room, like to me was on who's I have a sex scene. I need to put an R&B sex jam on. Yeah. And I need to like soften the soften the frame a little bit and I need to do it in like a bedroom and like fucking tinsel roses on my girlfriend and show like that.

We also have to say at this point that anyone who knows the real deep Rory Law like Mike who was there at the time, is that that particular R&B sex jam was me and Emmas first dance at the One. That was our first dance, The one. Yeah, I remember. Yeah. Good times from that rose. You bought that rose. There's nobody using music from this film. Is that first fucking dance? That's for sure. Yeah, very, very bad, right? Seem over for now. Thank God. So yeah, now we meet Zealand's new therapist, which is an old lady who lives under a stairwell.

I love it and just sitting like small fucking close to each other it's amazing. This is obviously like a direct contrast to the old, I guess, and it's so badly. Lit The whole scene is so badly lit. She looks like legitimately like, like she's not having a good time, right. Yeah. It's like the scene's badly lit. It looks like it's in a broom cobot. They're like face to face with each other. And it's like, how have you run out of rooms already? How have you run out of fucking rooms already that you've got like, oh, here's a broom cobot.

We'll remove the cleaning chemicals and the and and the mop and I don't know what else you keep in there. I don't want to know what he keeps in that broom. Come back and we're going to have this weird fucking knee to knee. It's like face to face. It's knee to fucking knee conversation. It's. Her name is Doctor A Andra. Yeah. And like most of the cast in this film, she's played by somebody who hasn't got a picture on IMDb, but she's real. So she, in contrast to the other therapist, knows about his powers.

And she says you were given a power, it's in the wind. They will harm you. And basically she is again, drawing back to Deva Lynch. She's, I think, meant to be like the Log Lady. Yeah, of Twin Peaks for this movie. Like, she's like the sort of person who knows stuff that she shouldn't really know, has a weird wisdom about her. It's not properly paid off, but it's a bit weird As she's talking to Hammer, at whom they do kind of like the whooshy noises that you get from like the. I call it forest spirit.

I've seen it referred to online as the foot fart. The. Foot fart, foot, right. We are deep into the weeds on this fan lore at this point. The foot fart fucking. Christ, Yeah, right after that. That's a hype like to again, punctuate. That's something creepy is going on. Now we get the weird scene where Neil Bruner stood looking at himself in the mirror, and then he walks away from the mirror and the other mirror reflection stands there. Still doesn't probably mean something to somebody. What I, what I, what I just like rewatched this today for the God knows how many times and that's, you know, I was literally good for you.

Good for you, you Dick. Yeah, yeah, I could do that. I could do that on calendar. All right. And then we got the scene where Amy's on pills. So Amy and Jim are in a really darkly bedroom again. I've no idea what time of day it is. She's wearing the same top she was wearing when she was yelling at him earlier on in the garage. And she's got the pills in her hand. And then she's trying to apologise to him. And I think it's meant to be sincere, but she's yelling everything. She's like, I'm sorry I let you down.

I let you down. And then he's like, and it's like, it's OK, if we can, we can start again. It's fine. And she's like, I think I'm beyond that now. I think she's like, I think she's like really angrily breaking up with him, but she's like trying to put him down softly. But she's doing it like at 11, really weird. And I'm like, yeah, whatever. OK, I've checked out of it now. After that we get the black shoes that we saw in the hospital earlier on that vanished or in his house now and they vanished again.

Unexplained doesn't get properly explained. We do see them one more time and not just me saying that sounded a bit like more Holland Drive, like if you've been good, you'll see me once more. If you see me bad, you'll see me twice, right, OK, right. OK, we're in a bit now where Dylan's working once again. He's got all that work to do because he's uncovering corruption, etcetera, etcetera. And then Bahana comes in and he goes, I have too much to do. I need you to go away now. But then it. Immediately cuts to me going I'm so sorry for pushing you away.

And then they and then they make up and then she goes are you having an affair? Isn't it?

And I think to myself like, not yet. He will be, but not yet. But his fucking childhood holiday friend, one eighters who also was briefly involved in maybe trying to cure him, turns up at his fucking pool party. And he goes, I'm just frustrated with writing. I haven't told you the truth, though. And he tells her, and I have to say this, he tells her again about hacking into government and corporate international secrets because he actually already has told her the truth. He just has forgotten that he's told her it.

So he tells her again what he's up to. Brilliant. And then she's like, what are you crazy? That's dangerous. And then he's like, don't tell anyone, don't tell anyone. And then she tells, she tells people. And she, in fact, he tells people, he tells everyone, he tells everyone will listen. He's like, fucking still like Archer telling people he's a spy all the time. Yeah. What's the point of being a spy if you can't tell people, Lana? And then he goes back into the bin bag room again. We've seen with the book, he picks up the book, he looks in the book, he's nude.

What's the book? I don't care, right? No one gives a fuck at this point about this book. He's trying to put this like really fucking deep stuff into the films deep symbolism and no one gives a fuck. Even the people who were analysing it, like us, we don't care about this book. I don't care to know what the book is. I don't know what it's meant to represent. It's not sell it properly, nor is the room. The room I assume is the Black Rock. But why is he inside the Black Rock? Is he in there in his mind?

Is he seeing this stuff? Is he feel I don't care. Right back to the kitchen and Melania says and I think she's trying to be like charming and nice and it sounds so Heimlich. She says how about a nice quiet peaceful BBQ pipe the pool. And then we could to like them having a pool party. But there's like a little canned in like like chatter and stuff like this. Like it's meant to be like this like those people there. But actually there's only even more than like 5 people in frame any one time. Yeah, because we'll work on a pretty fucking tape budget right here, to be honest.

Yeah. But this is his Sims pool. It's like a little 2 by 2 by 4 Sims pool. It's your little fucking broke ass pool that you put in your Sims house when like, you know, just just big enough to serve as a family execution chamber. Yes, exactly, that's exactly what it is. He see Leah again for the first time since the beginning of the film. Melania greets up by going the doctor at the hospital and that exact clip of audio will be used again in like about 30 seconds where she where someone else meets it and goes the doctor at the hospital.

That's really weird. Melania introduces her. No not Melania. Leah introduces her beau. It is a man called Tim and she is marrying. We won't ever see this guy again. Tim died all the way back to his home planet. Fuck that guy. Fuck that guy. A little ball guy with his little these little gooty. Fuck that. Guy punching. He's punching, he's punching, you know? He is punching ears, but I. Was only matter of time before I should leave him for a super stud like Neil Brain can't even say that. Exactly right, so she stood by the pool.

Her phone vibrates in her pocket and so she reaches for it, but because she insists on carrying the the notebook that she had as a child around everywhere that as she shoved it into the pocket of his incredibly tight jeans. Of course, as she pulls the phone out, then the book falls on the floor as well, but Neil's had to pick it up because he's a gentleman, but not a gentleman picks up the book and he opens it on the page that reads It's a Magical Day. And she's like, that's just a little book. I've been carried that around ever since I was a kid.

And and he's like, it's you, it's you. I know it's you. You're Leah. And she's like, and you're Dylan. And then he's like, and then he's a bit like Ice Cube in in War of the Worlds. It's you.

It's you. You're a disruptor. I don't watch mother, I watch people and also bin bag rooms. Bin bag rooms and then they just start holding hands like in his back garden with his wife there and her fiance. It's fucked up. And then his wife comes over and he's like, I've known her since she was 8 years old. And I was 26. And I was 26. Because that. Yeah, because they meant to be and I meant to be the same age. And he's like 50 fucking 5 and she's like 35. Yes, so he's either having like a fucking hard paper around or, or she's like incredibly like youthful or, or he's a skeezy Hollywood tape adjacent guy who's just cast someone much fucking younger.

Because he could have made this film with a younger lead actor who was more believable, but he wanted to do the fucking naked 2 step wheel covered in blood in the fucking shower with his with with Melania. You know what I mean? Has to be on. Yeah, right. The theme tune it's also it's. Hell. It's also not fucking true by the way. You haven't known her since she was 8 years old. He knew her when she was 8 years old. And then there's a there's a 30 year gap where he didn't know her. Yeah, I think, Oh my God, yes.

I've known of her existence since she was 8. We were friends for two months and I've spent the rest of my life fucking paining for her, despite leading on Melania, who, by the way, he doesn't deserve her. You know, she's got her faults. She's got her pillar diction, probably related to him. She's she's in pain somehow, probably related to him. She'll say he doesn't really deserve her, man. I'm saying #melania deserves better. Not a hot take. And who should come to be her shining Knights in in armour?

Jim, who's drunk again at the function and puts the moves on Melania and she's sure. Jim's fucking meant I love the guy. Jim's class. Jim. Is spinning up. This is Jim's final hurrah, mate. Yeah, he's this is like this is the last bit of positive action he'll he'll take. Basically. Poor guy. The guy's in a lot of pain. He has a lot of pain is. That is. That. Probably all from your Breen's Fort. Oh yeah, definitely think so. Yeah, the author has decreed you won't get any pussy. And this is what's happened to the motherfucker, Yeah.

I'm real green. I got all the pussy in South California. And then I nearly skipped this because it's only like 5 line 5 words in my notes and I nearly just skipped right over it. But all that fucked up shit with Ali in the pool happens. Jesus. Christ. So did he hear that sigh that I just let out there? Man this is fucked up bro. What the fuck gets slang? And I'm listening to this podcast as a service. I will explain what happens, and we'll skid on past it as quickly as you possibly fucking can. Yeah, I will say one thing about it.

But. Right. OK. So what happens is Neil Breen is back in his office, working if it's hard on hacking his government and corporate systems. He looks out of his window and sees that Ali is in his back garden, in his pool. She takes up her off her top, but we don't see anything thankfully because she has her back to us and she gets into the pool. She looks over her shoulder up to the window where she's notices Dylan is looking at the window and she goes Dylan. Then she gets out of the pool immediately, having not swam in the pool.

The fuck? Then she gets into their house and starts running herself a bubble bath with the drain open. So she's so the tap is running into the into the into the bath with the plug not in, and she's just pouring pool bath into the into the plug. Fine, whatever. Then Dylan, like, hears the noise, goes into the bathroom to find out what's going on, and Ali stands out of the bathroom and drops her towel. And he's like, you can't do this, right? And this is where I want to stop it. So the correct thing to do in the situation, right?

The only reasonable thing to do in the situation is to shut the fucking door again with you on the other side of it and say, put on your clothes and get out of my house. I'll talk to your parents about this, but you have to go immediately. And then you probably want to call her parents immediately. What what Dun does is not that Dun goes into the room, kneels down onto the floor and picks up the towel and puts the towel on her. But by doing so is put his head in like close proximity to her naked body fucked up.

And then they have a whole thing where he like throws up the house. Weird, unnecessary, really perfect thing to put in your movie for like no reason big time. And then to add in sorts of injury, Jim's killed. Why so? So Jim is once again in the garage. He's working on Neil's Ferrari. Amy comes into the room, but Amy's like pissed off as we see a bit where Amy's like tooling up separately and then she goes into the so she's going equipped in into the garage where Jim is working on the Ferrari. This is premeditation, OK?

She's angry that that Jim wants to work on the Ferrari all the time instead of spend time with her, even though she keeps rebuffing his efforts again. And then she goes, I'm going to shoot this damn car full of holes, which is great. And then Jim puts his hand out that's going to protect the car and go, no, no, no, no. And then she fires one round and it instantly kills Jim. And then we get like, probably the most quoted line of the film, right? So, so the initial, the initial, the initial gunshot, yeah, appeared to have no damage to Jim.

He just kind of passed out randomly. When we when we see him again, he is covered in blood and there is blood oozing from the back of his neck over his body and then comes in, gets down on the deck with him, crills him in his arms and goes, how could you have done this, Jim? Jim, I can't believe you committed suicide. I cannot believe you committed suicide. How could you have done this? How could you have committed suicide? I can't help you out of this one, Jim. Goodbye my friend. But the fucking century.

I can't help you out with this one, pal. This. At this moment in time I'm unable to assist. Yes, sorry, it's mental. Just before that happens actually. Amy also stages it to look like a suicide, which isn't. She's just the worst possible drug of it she doesn't like. She doesn't even wipe the gun down and put it in his hand, she just throws the gun down near him. Yeah.

Terrible, terrible. Not going to be a difficult investigation, not going to be a difficult one at all. That's like, I mean, I mean all all any of us knew that she was pissy and constant back pain because she yells all the time. So it's open and shut. I mean you don't you don't need to be you don't need to be a clump. You don't need to be clumber to work this one out. You know my. Wife often gets pissy.

Just one more thing, how was your back pain? Just one more thing, do you have any bras in the house? You see my? Name. You see my wife, she used to burn her brown in the 60s too. But you know what she did? She bought a new one. Right back pain. It went away.

Can you thank God? Can you imagine if he goes to like if well, when his body's taken for like autopsy and it's Quincy who does the autopsy and like fucking fucking Quincy's looking at it and then Colombo comes in the looking child. They're like, what is this, a crossover episode? And he's like, women be pissy, right? Quincy, man, I love Quincy. What to do it my boy Chuck Cloven legend? Jack Cloven and I used to love like the opening credits and it's always him like lounging on a yacht with like some random women.

It's always like a little supercar of him with much younger women. Yeah, which which somehow feels much more wholesome than this. This shit that we'll have to witness with fucking Neil Breen, you know? Fucking bad, man. What I don't like about it is that Neil Breen writes like every woman wants to have sex with them. Like everyone wants a piece of the Breenpene. The Breenus. The Breenus The Breenus is the most important part of the body.

90% of naval accidents occurs to the Preenus Jesus Christ. So Melania feels guilt over Jim's death. She feels that her rebuffing of him is the reason why he died, like in main character syndrome. Yes, I know her shooting up is the reason he died. Yeah, his his homicide is the reason why he died. Yeah, it's like, God, I rebuffed him so much and that he somehow died paying no attention to the fucking in millimetre bullet that pierced his neck. I guess you know. Yeah, we got another scene of Dylan on the fucking phone to his agent and he finally goes.

No more books. Good, because he has been writing a book or switch his laptop on the entire movie. Then we start seeing Oh my God, right? And then we see because he's met up with Leo again. We get another fucking pocket dimension bin bagroom shot of Dylan with Leah naked. Only it's not Leah, it's a different actress that we haven't seen yet. She has long brown hair and no one else in the movie has long brown hair. So clearly you wanted to have Leo in it. The actress did. Leo went, I'm not doing that because it's creepy as fuck.

So a different woman who he could pay to get naked on film and for him to cuddle with is in it instead and it's horrible. She's lightly greased up. Did you know what was that weird? I did not She's she's hold on pause. She's she's a lightly greased up. Yeah, she's a bit shiny. She's a that's like, imagine Neil Breen looming over here in his fucking makeup director role and like a fucking like white lab coat. I'm going to make you shiny. I'm going to make you shine a bit for this movie film that I'm making for the humans.

I like to imagine that it's like they're all different personalities as well. Like, like in that movie Split. Yeah. He was like James McAvoy, primal. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. He's like, he's got like 20 different personality and he's like, I'm Patricia and I'm the makeup artist. Jesus Christ. Yeah, Awful. Get another fucking scene with him in the original therapist. Even though we've already established that guy's not working, he doesn't want to see him anymore. He's like, I thought it was helping you and I do you don't you want my help?

But he's even already gone for the effort of getting pills from ready and he shows him a bottle of pills and it's like, fuck, man, he doesn't care about the pills anymore. Fucking no. Then we cut to Melania again, stoned again on the phone with her dealer. We found her dealer is still in therapist and she's like, and she spills the beans that he's been writing about government secrets. And then she tries to get, she tries to get some more pills off of him instead. So her dealer is fucking her husband's therapist who is about fucking 200 years old as well.

Jesus Christ. Question, is this meant to be the leak that gets to the establishment that starts the whole process of Leah getting kidnapped later? I think. I think it's meant to be, but he doesn't spell out for us. Or maybe we're just connecting the dots and we're head because the other, the other alternative is to just make peace with the fact that this strip was entirely written in one fucking day while Neil was maybe taking a day off from his actual architecture job. Can we just pause on the fact that Neil Breen's an architect?

Right? Like this man designs buildings and that to me is horrifying. Licenced Architect. Yeah, licenced, architect, Licenced and probably practising architect. This man designs buildings and I've done some research and I can't see any mentions of people identifying a building that Neil Breen's designed. But there'll be one out there. And I bet one day I'll go out like a petrol station in the middle of fucking nowhere, right? And leave it fill up and fill me car up. And I'll go inside and walk in at the kiosk.

And there's, there's no like kind of checkout desk. There's a load of late 90s, early 2000s laptops open and attached to the walls. And there's just rows and rows, prescription pills in in in plastic bottles. A bunch of women are milling around with with just gigantic tits and and, and that I don't all I want is to pay for my petrol to get who I'm right. And Neil Breen's appeals from like Neil, Neil Breen walks through the door literally in a proof of proof of smoke. And he's like, I defied your expectations because you wanted to pay for this petrol.

It's like, yeah, Neil, actually, bro. Otherwise, man, I'm a fucking drive away, right, You know? And he's like, I won't call the police on you if you take from me this Golden Book. And that'll happen. There's got to be a building like that out there that he's designed. I have a damn master's degree in architecture, but I'm an attendant at a gas station. He used the masters in an architecture to make the bin room that's. It. That's it. That's the room he fucking designed. That's what he does. He designs, he designs the detached waste storage units for buildings made by architects who aren't actual fucking aliens in meat suits.

It's like look at look at this beautiful skyscraper designed by not Neil Breen and just in it's in it's shadow. There's this like little 6 foot away cinder block structure with no roof. Now that's the Neil job. And people just like roll the wheelie bins into it and then close like a like a shitty little rusty gate and just lock it at the padlock breaks. And it's like, Neil, how does it feel, Neil? Does it feel Neil some more Neil Law? There was so when when in 2010, when his first film came out and everyone got really excited about it, they were trying to dig around on the Internet and try and find out more about him.

And one of the first things everyone found was his business card as a realtor in Nevada. So people, so people thought they'd made like, so there's lots of stories going on that he like, he was like, he was like a millionaire. He had made a shit turn on on real estate and then he's come out publicly and said that no, that's, that's not true. It was professional. Oh my God, sorry, I'm just fucking found it. Real estate number one in I am. I am going to hit the fucking underlines up more. More kind of verve.

Yeah #1 in all of Las Vegas. Let me sell your home for you fast. Jesus. Rice Yeah. So he said it. So he said an interview that it was professionally convenient for him to get a real estate licence whilst he was whilst he was working on a job and he had it for two years and then it's lapsed. Yeah. But I absolutely, I absolutely love that, that business card. So the the the Lionel Hud's business card from like from The Simpsons like works on contingency, no money down. Hell, you don't want this. Such grief.

Now I know that he's a real right. I'll fucking tell you what right I would. I would bet my right note, the good note on this that he that he, he filmed a lot of this in other people's houses that he was trying to sell or had access to. I think that's what's been going on that'd. Be incredible, Jesus Christ. I think that's what's what's happened, to be honest. It would explain a lot though because in all of his later films he does it like it's death by green screen. Green screen. Screen if you will.

Stock footage, green screen, green screen, stock footage. Crazy stuff. This film was like really, really light on stock footage compared to his other ones. Have you seen? Yeah. Have you have you seen Twisted Path? The one when he. Yeah. I have. I've seen Twisted Pair and Kid the tortured Crossing as well. It's not announced. Sequel. The scene when like he saves those troops.

He just. And there's just some like stock this, there's a stock fucking photo, not even stock footage of a bunch of U.S. military personnel in like a global war, global War on Terror era. Geass are very much tied to the time the film was made. And they're just like moving through like a building of some kind. And he appears from like, it's fine, it's OK, follow me to safety because he's done the second time stop thing. And then he gets out of the building and then like it's loads anyway, right? I mean this this.

Absolutely. Yes. Oh my God, this. Is this is like the closest to real keynote that he does? Because it's not just like an absolute avalanche of stock video slop, you know? But if you've seen kids, the tortures crossing. I've seen some of kid the torture. Which is the sequel of it? Have you seen the bit where he has an animated fight with it? The White Tiger. That's fucking good. It's amazing. It's incredible, like someone actually animated it. It's yeah, I'm actually really surprised. It's it's, it's it's like we'll keep circling back to full motion video games like FMV games, the 90s.

It's like someone from FMV game. If you put like like if you made it Grania it would be like FMV cutscene footage in in like a bad like fucking Gabriel knight knock off or something like that. Yeah, basically if you've seen the sequence of that film, there's a dance break in that in that film as well. Yeah. Like there's a musical number. Yeah. Yeah. And that I say, well, that reminds me of David Lynch's Inland Empire, the whole the whole do the locomotion sequence in that. Really weird. Two schools have thought about this.

Does he actually watch films at all or are the only films he watches David Lynch films? Maybe? The thing is, is he's seen like exactly 2 films in his life and the both in London empire and he thinks every film is like that. But he's looked no further in like the language of filmmaking or or the palate he's working with. That's a possibility. Maybe a David Lynch was like a God on his home world. You know, and like all all the like and the like. ZQ 5 XP you must go to the planet called Earth where you will find David Lynch.

Your identity will be Neil Breen and the alien just like gives him like we had a chittering noises. It flexes its kaiten and just and it steps into its heart. It's preposcus just just snapping at all. Those are the lesser aliens that walks past, it claims into the pot. Leathery tongue slathering of its gaping more at. That eyes that begins to shred it's cater this carapace and that it's weird, weird pink and yellow strange almost puss like in our form claims inside the mouth of the the Neil Breen beat suit.

And then like after he cracks his neck and pulls the skin to make it fair around his body and sells down for the In Flight movie, which is David Lynch's June from 1984. Yes. Yes, fucking a fucking flight attendant is like a fucking flight attendant appears at the like alien overlord master, would you like to enjoy the cinema of planet Earth? He plugs it into a little a little alien VCR and he sees a. Guild Navigator, which looks exactly like him on his own planet, Yeah. And he's like, what do they know?

Tell him on soft disclosure if the aliens do look like Guild navigators, I'm going to be like David Lynch fucking called it. And that's it. Neil Brenner is just heavily zerst on the Spice, but he's got contacts in so you can't see his eyes. Oh. My God stop taking the spice. It's a crotch. Straighten your life out full space it's. Just like no deal I've used GET to fold space, I'm using it to travel.

Just sleep. Oh well, Awakened.

I'm pissy the spaces Guild is having troubles, gotta brush. Adam is being mean to me again, Fade and Roban.

Oh my God. Good God, good grief. Pain. Right. Dylan and Leah meet in a park near a duck pond. Intentionally. Leah announces that she's already thrown her life away and has broke up with Tim. Fuck Tim. And then they stand up. For me, Tim. Get out of here. Get out. Of here trash you fucking you fucking bring that trash on the head of neurology. No, fuck off, I think. You're getting there's another heart Doctor Tim. Yeah. Right, you can't have a blind season 10 reference I just made.

I'm sorry Tim, I'm going to have a career damaging affair with a guy whose brain damager almost tried to heal before before fucking space God missed. BlackRock fixed it for him, you know. They go to the same villain they were at, probably shot on the same day as the first sequence, right on the prologue. So they go to the same place they go to, and this is like, you remember, this is like 30 years later. They go to the same mushroom, they go to the tree and they start making out. Neil takes his top off.

Leo takes her top off. They had the there's a mirror of the exact same shots that had earlier on when he was doing it with Melania. So like the tops fall on the floor by their feet. They kiss a little bit and it's a magical day. It's it's all very vigilant of Alan Partridge using the fridge cuddle with tops off cuddle with. Tops off, you'll have to lap dance for you. My my people. Pringle is based on an SOS balaclava. Actually, Melania has a little bit like his girlfriend in what is like the second season or the third.

Season. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, Alan. Alan, I got your face put on scatter cushion. I call it scatter cushion. You are not Bono. You are you are rubbish. Got access to the kids but they don't want to see me. Anyway, Melania's dead, so it's a cope with that. She she committed suicides by producing on some pills. And there's this whole continuity weird thing where like he finds the body and the wine glasses spilt the wine glasses up again, and the wine glasses got wine in it again and it's just a fucking mess.

Well, I mean, he has a few drinks, man, You know, he's been through a lot. I mean and and and fucking to put yourself in like needle brains, obviously misogyny keyhole that he writes these from. It's like, oh, well, finally she's not talking. I'll have a kind glass of wine with her. You know, it's like, horrible. The ever fucked up thing is that we go back into the pocket dimension and we see the woman who was budding for Leo again. I think it might be the exact same shot then. Anyway, he wastes no time moving Leo into his house.

He's such a fucking boy to tell you what you know. There's a weird bit where he's eating a bowl of raw spinach fork in his office and Leah walks into the office and he spills the bowl of spinach and they both laugh at it and like what the fuck is going on? What are we doing here guys? Come on, we're like on the final movie. What the fuck is going on here? Pick up the pace. But then he tells Leah what he's up to. So he's like, I've been hacking government and corporate secrets. I'm going to expose everything and blah, blah, blah.

Leah, This is why she's the best actress in the film. I think she looks visibly perturbed. And I think what's happening here is actually is the actress is just letting the mask slip and everything else we've seen so far, who's who've been holding it together? But she's like, yeah. And then she's like, you're getting yourself killed. And it's like, Leah, you don't know this guy. Nothing's going to kill this guy. He's not of a, he's not a cop. He's a silicon based life film. I mean there is one thing that's going to kill him, there is an alien bounty hunter called like Zorthrox or something, but he's like 75 parsecs away at this point, bearing down on us in a hot rod looking spaceship, coming to take out the alien that holds Neil Brien's meat suit at the moment.

This is a better fucking film than the film, by the way. Oh yeah. This, this, this, this idea that there's an alien bounty hunter out there fucking bearing down on Earth to destroy Neil Brine. Yeah, he's like looking for Neil Brine. He's showing pictures of Neil Brine everywhere. Yeah, we're going to. We're going to we're going to call this film Destroy Neil Brine. They put him into him in like in a, in a, in a, in a bar in Vegas. And like one of them is like, my friend doesn't like you. I don't like you either.

And all of the female like waiting stuff that Neil's trying to recruit for his next film go in in chorus. We don't like him either either. And then fucking Wayne Newton, who was performing on the stage goes. I also hate this man. I've seen Leah gets kidnapped. Just an awful take. She's just like walking into the entrance of their home. A guy tussles with her for fucking ages because he's got to go handle her mouth. At one point she's like no no. And then she goes.

Jesus, it's like I I I am glad that Neil Green doesn't know how to direct an authentic looking kidnapping scene. Yeah, Yeah. Good. Actually, it's it speaks well of him. It's like he at least wasn't participating in the kidnappings of these victims. Because how horrific would it be, right if all the film is still this just absolute dumb shit cock handedly made by a man who might be a good architect but is a bad film maker? But then there's one incredibly fucking slick kidnapping scene that's perfectly shot and perfectly executed and it's like, Neil, Neil, Neil, where are the, where are you keeping them, Neil?

Yeah, like if you know, like, like kill room that Skarsgard has in the, in the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, like if every bit of set design in this movie was exactly as it is now, just like really shits. But they then they go inside the killer's kill room and it's like, perfect. Yeah. And it's like, yeah, you've studied the drawings. Yeah, this. You might actually this might. This might be in your house already. Yeah, this is, this is like a right what you know moment. Sorry, sorry. If it was good we would have to check all houses designed by Breen Ford.

Shit like secret rooms and double walls. Courtly wood wouldn't. Well, that's fucking crazy. I'm an architect and the only thing I can shoot. Believably is kidnapping back to Jesus Christ this I'm sure there's a Oh my God, I'm sure there's a murder mystery like this where like. In like rooms covered in plastic that are all black and have no natural. Line. Oh, Jesus. Oh, and then the police are like looking at the drawings of the building and they and they look in the room, they go, that's weird. This bit of wall should be 3 feet further back.

What's? And then they bust up with the wall and there's bodies in it. How is there room in their windows? This house doesn't have a basement. And like, you've got Neil Bree in the Realtor showing you around a house designed by Neil Breen the architect. And you're like. Could you imagine? Neil, why does every room in this house have no fixtures and fittings, have a tailed floor that inclines down slightly towards a trench drain? And why does it smell the way it smells? He's like, don't worry about it, I've hacked into all the government databases in the world.

It's like yeah if I tips on how I would do this could. You imagine Neil Breen is selling you like, just a normal house. He's like, what does he say about the rooms? Like this is this is the living space where the humans can gather and converse? 1 presumes. Yeah, he parts the baton, goes recharge station. This is the kitchen where sustenance can be made. He's like, you can do human activities like making films, betrayal and having human sex in all of this structure. Come with me to the back garden where you may have a nice peaceful, quiet family BBQ by the pool.

Dylan immediately rescues Leah. Leah's being held in a black shipping container, intuitive, I guess, through the power of the rock. Finds the guy who's just sitting outside the shipping container, I guess tortures him in a sort of Kiefer Sutherland and 24 SS way in that he breaks a ball near his head, asks for the key, and the guy's like, there's no key and he's like fine. And he goes and then he warps through the door into the container, and then he picks her up, basically keep the blindfold on, and then warps her out again.

And that's into that. If it's even weirder, I can get get behind the keeping the blindfold on because he doesn't want her to know he can walk through walls. Yeah, but he makes her put in the gag again. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, keep it, keep it the ball gag like. OK, lungs. Feel safety wants just so fun. Yeah, oh, deal. Save me. What happened yet? Hey, remember Ali familiar on well, cuts to Dylan admonishing Ali for no reason. I think she's back in his house again. And he's like, you can't keep coming here.

I know you want my brain pain, but you can't be here. Take your tits out somewhere else. You are much too young for this human. I mean for me. Yeah, And then she's like, I thought you liked it. And then she goes. But by the way, anyway, the police are at my house talking to Amy because Amy kills Jim, which is a pretty important detail. What isn't clear is whether she's told the police that. And we never see any of these people again, so it doesn't matter. So we we cut to Milan and Leah in bed. Leah is lying on the bed, just like Amy was based down, boob squished and partially shown to us.

No reason. And then it cuts to a big mirror in the house that's shaking because of ethereal washing. Dylan senses some things up, so he creeps out of the bed backwards as it's to try and not wake her. And then he starts driving to the desert and. Who bugs us? Who bugs us is not spider crept out of our wifes bed or girlfriends bed backwards and then driven into the fucking desert. Who among us, fellow humans, has not done that? It leaves her an incredibly long voicemail where he repeats himself several times.

It's like I had to go. I'd be gone for a day. Nothing's wrong, everything's good, nothing's wrong. I've gone for a day and we haunted the desert. I'd be back in a day. I'm sorry I didn't tell you so fuck me, man. He goes to the desert. He has a meeting with the book and three figures which are in black, who dissolve into frame. But before they fully dissolve into frame, they already dissolve out of frame again. No words are said apart from Neil says to nobody. Should I be afraid? Should we be afraid?

And then we cuts to the old lady again and she vanishes. She's like sitting on the chair. And then she vanishes. She does all fades away and it's like she wasn't real either. She's a good ghost. She's a spooky ghost. And then and then we cut to the creepy figure that's in the house, which is we see the mirror shaking again and we see like the black trousers and black shoes that we've seen a couple of times and they're like on the the line of flooring in the kitchen and lose the blood. So it's like just pooling like dripping like a big Nosebleed.

So dripping around by the feet, which is genuinely actually a little bit creepy and generally does look a little bit like David Lynch. Fair enough on that one. Well played. Green stop clock is is right twice a day, really creepy. And then boom, we are into like the end game. So that's that's a little weird step. I don't quite understand what any of that meant. It wasn't like you, you standard sort of bottom of the second act, like, you know, long dark night, the soul followed by positive position.

It just kind of, it's just shit that happens. Yeah, spooky shit that happens. And then we're then we're at the end. Don't worry about it, don't worry about it. So then we cut to Four Seasons Total Landscaping. Where, where, where Dylan is holding a press conference. It's actually a green screen in front of the National Archives. Really, really, really random. I can't think of a of a reason why Dylan would be able to call a press conference like this. Well, he's got a master screen. He's written novels, man.

It's it's like, yeah. So he's called. The press conference by hacking into government systems. There you go. There you go. Oh, there you go. Yeah. Because I was going to say he's like sevens contacts with his agent. He's written one novel. Can you imagine if like, a person who's written one novel? Imagine if like Mick Herron had written like the first Little Horses book and then was like right in front of the Houses of Parliament I used to call a press conference. Because I've got secrets about everybody.

Literally everyone, yeah. It's like, holy crap. Calling a press conference in in front of the German parliament. It's also brilliant because, like, all the people he names and shames in in his tirade also turn up and stands together like in a nice little, like, delegation as well. Like they're pro to me that yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, like like we're opening a fucking little or something. It's like like. Like like the bullies being called into the headmaster's office. He just summoned them for a struggle session basically.

Yeah, basically he does a really long speech. It sucks. I've been even down but it's by his speech sucks. It also possibly has the worst green screen in the entire film. Oh. Yeah, Big Simon. It's a chilling taste of things to come from Neil Green because like that that quality of green screen will be in pretty much every shot of every every film after this green screen you're watching in Bruno vision. We should we. He's just so good. We should cook. Start calling him a real brain I. Love it. Real brain.

He's a brainiest so fuck me man. So he does this. He does this in later movies as well. So he does a thing where he's like giving a speech and then it will cut away to like. So on this one, it just cuts to like the microphones and cameras, stock footage thereof, totally static, new people. But you hear like the sort of fucking Microsoft PowerPoint fucking sound effect for applause. Like he's like, I've uncovered corruption, international and national corruption, darkest secrets of greed and businesses, blah blah blah.

And I hold here. I've got factual information and all the supporting documentations. And then it cuts to the delegation. The first person we see is the CEO of some unnamed company who says that my company was all about greed and profits and screwing the customer. I'm afraid of prison. So then he gets a gun and shoots himself in the temple. Following this turns out to be a the next person is a senator who says I was supposed to support the the wishes of my electorate or something like that. Doesn't say it as well as that, but instead I kowtow to business and corruption and blah blah blah blah.

None of it's well able to find it all. We see him hang himself. So we see him like picking up a new site he found on the floor. And then we see like the feet dangle shot, which is mental. Meanwhile, Breen's still going on with his speech. Then we get, God, I mean, the MVP of the movie, maybe we got the president of the bank says again, I prioritise profits and screwing over the customer. And then he pulls out a tiny little gun and, like, shoots across his drawer. So he's probably just really badly manned himself.

Really, really bad. I don't see any fallout from that, though. Then we cut to a congresswoman who gases herself in her garage in her car. And then we cut to an insurance guy who says, like, what does he say? He says me and other insurance companies. So he's made it sound like he's an insurance company. Just bad grammar. Pardon me. I am the company. I am the company. He also sits in his car, but he doesn't gas himself in his car. He overdoses and pills in his car, which is really weird. Then we get a Wall Street broker who sits in his bath, fully clothed with no water in it and slaps his wrists.

And then finally, someone's like, we've got to take out this Dylan guy. He's he's killing all of our important people. So we see like a clip art of a crosshair over Dylan's head and then mysteriously, the gunman who was in a grassy mole just suddenly dies, fucking dies. We don't know. And we don't know what from and it's never explained. And that that ends the climax of the movie. And we have one final epilogue, which is an adult Dylan and Leah once again returning to the field they were in earlier when they had their magical day.

And they were walking hand in hand through the through the through the grass. And then it ends proving at least one thing that the opening and closing shots of this movie are in conversation with each other like they should be in a good screenplay. Can't agree with that, but fuck me guys, anything to say about that? That ending sequence? That was wild. Once again, apart from the green screen of him standing in front of public building, worst gunshots I've ever heard in a film. What did he do? Pop a balloon?

So fucking bad. Yeah, really bad. It's it's horrible. It's terrible. Just the editor. No, just just no. The the guy popping pills in his car was probably the most believable. Yeah, and. It would be a. Bigly comical, wasn't it? It was the bank president appears to shoot himself with the same gun that's used to to kill Jim. I'll come to you later in the very, very brief weapons handling section on doing the categories. But yeah, as, as Emma said to me, such a fucking terminal wife guy, here goes. Your marriage is awesome.

What? I'm just fucking I'm punched with anyway, so she said. Do you think he's right? Do you think he was trying to warn us about Epstein? I think he was. I don't. I think he would have been more explicit if he was. I don't think he's got, I don't think he's got saucy in him. I think what's happened here is he. Would have got there are paedophiles on the island. I die. I'm hacking them. I can't have sex with you. I'm hacking into the island. Yeah, he would have gone to the island and. Yeah, just like fucking read read them sneaking around that little temple dressed like a budget version of fucking Sam Fisher with like nods and that fucked up rifle as well.

I'll talk about later. Oh my God, yeah. If you think of like what Cage the tortured crossing when he like rescues all those mental patients from a coach from a from a coach crash and it takes him to his like giant castle from the beast that he owns and lives in. He's on this ridiculous fucking clock tower dream house somewhere. It's mental. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I, I honestly don't think that the man's imagination even works like like humans imaginations. The way he writes stuff, it's just wild. I don't know, man.

He's taking all the boxes for Alien. He really is. He's taking all the alien behaviour boxes. Boxes. Before we take a break into category, should we? I want to get like a review from from each of you about what you, what you genuinely in your heart of hearts, really think about this film. Yeah, I want to. I want to move it. Sincerity, please. Want me to take points Sonya? Remember how we had three categories at the beginning? People who like this film, people that don't like this film, people that don't know this film.

Yeah. I have within the last three days turned from #3 to number. Two, like the movie, that's. Pretty much it. Yeah, Sonia vehemently hates the film. Roger. Rory, This film is really bad. Like I. Don't know why after that like I'm not expecting to you. There is not a single line of there is not a single line of dialogue in this film that works at all or sounds like it was even written by someone who was born on on this planet. It's so bad in the room, there's a line when someone says, are you running Beta Breakers this year?

And that's a normal human line of dialogue that explains a joint interest between two of the major characters. This is it in a place that links it to a geographical place, which is San Francisco, to a real event, which is the Beta Breakers half marathon or full marathon. Yeah. And to to a time as well, to that kind of period in the year before being a Prius has happened. The Room's a really fucking bad film, but there's dialogue in it. Yeah, so. Yeah, I just googled it and found out that apparently the Ohio Mark meme is from the room.

Oh, yes, yes. Oh yeah. Yeah, man. Oh wow, you have. You have to watch that. We'll have to. We'll have to have you know what, man, the next time we're all in the same country, you got to have we need to watch the room, have a few cons and just watch some real braininess going on. But yes, in in the words of make back to the movie. Yeah, yeah, this film fucking sucks, man. It's really bad. The the story is nonsensical. The to give to give the actors in the film the due. Quite a few of them have done like a bit of work before and after the film, and I do think that maybe their acting was probably Hanford by the fact Neil's probably in the corner.

We've got them telling them to shout louder.

Yeah, it's it's it is acceptable dog shit. It is not absolute cinema. I forgot about this film was and yeah, and I don't want to see Neil Breen's ass ever again. At least get us on time and do some sports, dude. Like fucking Hank Hill. And Hank Hill is a fucking hand drawn character, right? Stop it, stop it. I think it's important when you broke the room there. I think it's important to note that Tomu Wazoo that is sincerely interested in the craft of film making, and he met Greg Cesaro, who played Mark while we were working together in an acting class.

Like he he might not be very good, but he actually made an effort to try and learn how to do his craft and actually cared about it. So you've got to give him a bit of credit, actually. Yeah. Whereas Neil Breen is almost as a badge of pride and in terms of read about him, that he's not firmly trained and has made new effort to learn, just cut his own, which shows, Yeah. Tell me what So understands the film makers tool kit, you know, to a great hour or lesser extent, you understands the tool kit with which film makers work.

Neil Breen doesn't own that tool kit. Neil Breen has nothing but whatever trappings he brought from his alien world, you know, Yeah. So the film sucks. It's I think this is the worst film that we've ever covered on this show. Unless we cover another Neil Breen film, I think this will be the voice when we ever cover on this show. Please know was that because I was thinking maybe at some point wicked wicked wicked do double down the one with like fucking bioterrorism and stuff and. Well, we can't do double double this, right?

So there's an argument online that this is a remake of double down like that that is taking a lot of the same plot. Beat someone. You know what I don't really like? Maybe he doesn't hold that one as one of these like preferred ones. So he's like, I'll just do all that again. So I'll do, I'll do the guy who hacks because in double down, he's like a similar sort of thing, isn't He's like a he's a rogue CIA agent, but he's also like a genius hacker who's got like bombs rigged to blow everywhere unless he logs into them every 12 hours to say don't blow up.

Yeah. And shit like that. And then he's driving around to the desert all the time. He's constantly climbing up hills. Yeah. He's eating like car after can after. Can yeah, you see that's what. Yeah, See, you see, we should have done it for for the, for this charity episode for for trash cart rescue, actually, because of course, cats, cats, cats do be eating tuna, am I right? Cats do being tuna. These these human feline animals that the humans are so fond of, they do eat the tuna meat, you know, fucking alien ass dude.

So yeah, From sucks it. Sucks sucks balls. I hate the people I roast it with. Right. So we do some tigers. I have a damn master's degree in computer science and it turned out to be a writer of novels. Welcome back. Ready to do some categories, but first, there's another word about our 'cause this week for this bonus episode. So we are taking part in Podcast On, which is to raise awareness for various charities around the world and a coordinated podcasting effort. In this case, we're doing Trash Cat Rescues who we're supporting, which is a cat rehoming and adoption centre in Pittsburgh, PA.

I want to say a little word now to encourage to have a look at their website and we like throw them a couple of quiz if you want to. They've got many ways to donate. Every dollar counts and helps them save more lives of Kitty cats. So whether you like to support them by sending funds towards their cats and they're running medical needs or sponsoring an adoption or a donation or by covering a TNR surgery, they seriously appreciate you. They have a link here for Venmo 10, PAL Shelter Love Stacks, an Amazon wishlist, A Chewy wishlist, and something called Tiltify.

I don't know what the latter butcher those actually are, but if you go on them and have a look, I'm sure the cats would love it. And as we've said on this part, we are all cat dads. I have two beautiful baby boys cause Lazo and Oliver and they just bring my days with joy and frustration and equal measure of those guys, the lassos. Yeah, so we'll love it if you were throw a bit of love that way. Also, I'm hearing on good authority that Neil Breen fucking hates cats. And so I want to really upset Neil Breen, give somebody to Trash Cat Rescue.

I actually don't know if Neil Breen hates cats, not by the way, he might like them, but might. I might kind of redeem them a little bit. But then again. He does have a sequence of where we just fight them and might tiger so. That is true. Yeah, the tiger who turns into a woman. When Neil Breen, everything comes back to we have sexual stuff, doesn't it? That's that's the tiger of side boob. It's got like 9 side boobs probably. Jesus. I had a quick look and on, on, on. I had a quick look on Neil Breen on Reddit and there's a post a post here by someone called Otter Apocalypse from seven years ago asking what is the meaning behind the three cat statuettes on the bad guys table in Twisters pair.

They rotate on their own several times and sometimes are facing different directions. Can any of us ever truly grasp its meaning? Are we just lonely worms crawling in our filth compared to Neil Breen? You absolute fool, I usually not grasp the meaning of this. He loves cats. You idiots are whoosh. It's a metaphor. Perhaps he will explain more when Kid returns in his alleged next movie. Which he I don't. You did. And Kid the tortured crossing. Anyway, there we go. No definitive proof of any connection between Cats and Neil Breen.

Yeah. So I guess we are going to go in the first the categories which is casting this time this one has no cast, no. So the casting, the casting chat about from Zen Wrestling because quite a few of the actors in this film have actually done more than just this one movie. In this film, you're Ivan Neil Breen, you're a bit part player who's done this film once. So I've actually got a few films under your belt. I'm very interested in the work of Victoria Viveiros, also known as Victoria Cameron, who of course, of course played the incredibly pissy and back Penny, best friend of Melania, whose name I have just forgotten.

I'm so sorry. Amy. So yeah, AB brilliant, fantastic work. Victoria Evaara, Sasha, Victoria Cameron has been in a fucking tonne of films and I believe, let me just double check something yes so. Still working. Yeah, she is still working entertainment bartender at Coyote Ugly Las Vegas. Las Vegas Magazine in 2017 ran an article on her, including her trademark cocktail. If it wasn't a work night I would have made one by an hour nectar to get through talking about this bullshit film. In 2017 she celebrated her 14th anniversary with Coyote Yogi.

So there was a non zero chance that she may have been recruited there by Neil Breen on a bit of a run ashore from his alien warship. I guess she has done a bunch of films. So she's done a lot of stuff that I've not heard of because no one's heard of the shit she does. No one's heard of the shit any of these people do, really. She's been a bunch of short films, like like so look, she's been in a bunch of shorts, but she was in a film called Paranoia Tapes with a 2.5 rating on IMDb. Bearing in mind Fateful Findings has like a 4.2 star rating.

So Jesus. And she is still sort of working. Her most recent film was a movie called Catalyst in which she played a character named Missus Appleton. Also, she was in the film called The Haunting at Death Valley Junction playing someone called Cassandra. 2.7 stars and the poor star for this is actually fucking brilliant. I love this, if I could screen share I would but it's not MS Teams so I can't but make I will. I will suggest you fucking post this thing on our video because this is brilliant. This is so bad.

Yeah, I just found out that she is the owner and operator of something called the Balance Movement Centre, a dance school. Wow, I mean, that explains the explains the coyote ugly kind of connection. Her drink is called the Queasy Coyote Cooler and it's mixed with absolute Raspberry vodka, Vinick original liqueur, pineapple and cranberry juices and a splash of seven up. That actually looks fucking nice. So Victoria, Victoria Viveiros, we salute you and we hope your back is doing better. Clara Landrat, who played Emily, she's done again quite a few films.

She has done a bunch of shorts as well. Her first appearance was in Zoolander as a model, an uncredited appearance in 2001. She was also in a couple of movies afterwards. The most recent one was ATV series called Late Night Stories 2. She was in a film called Indigo. Loads of stuff I haven't seen. Yeah, a first appearance, most importantly was in Zoolander. So she's probably been like the highest placed member of this cast. I was really expecting her to like, rock up in like the Netflix Witcher series something, yeah.

Yeah, that kind of energy. Jennifer. Audrey, who played Leah, she was in an episode of Angel. That was her first appearance. Actually, do you know how I know that? Because her picture on IMDb is her stood next to David Bonias. Yeah, it's wild, right? Like it's like an absolute, like fucking fan of a convention kind of photo. But she was actually in Angel. That was her first appearance playing lonette #2 in an episode. She was in the film called Trans American Killer 2005. And then fucking hell, seven years later she comes in swinging for the fences with fateful findings.

She's in a film called After Romeo and Juliet. She plays and news anchor and Dragon Day the next year in 2013 and then done Dunzo. She's out of the business. She's the top billed actress in an after Romeo and Juliet and the synopsis for it is when a modern day Juliet is found dead and her lover Romeo is missing, an investigation begins while feuding families have their own agenda. Theme Tuna boss just popped out of her head there.

Yeah. Copyright strike Danielle Andrade, who played Ally, the young girl who was addicted to getting into people's pools and exposing herself. She stood quite a lot. She's got 26 acting credits. She was in Good Luck Charlie on the Disney Channel. Her first ever role was in the film Highway, playing a character called Little Girl Pool Cast. Jesus Christ, she would. She played a cheerleader in Good Luck Charlie, It's Christmas ATV movie for the Disney Channel. She's speaking for Goldberg's. Yeah, TV series is like Goldberg's Obviously she was in awkward kicking it.

She's done like a fair amount of just like she's she's this films that gal. She was in a fucking 69 video. You know that's 69 Sonya. That's not 6 and the other number. Hey can I just say when I. Was young 69? Was the funny. Yeah, hey, I don't know what 6-7 is, and at this point I'm too afraid to ask. So I don't think anyone knows really. It's it's sort of Dadaism, but 14. Yeah. Like YouTube Poop, we had that, yeah. We had that. So there's this obsession with like this whole. On the same level as just saying scuba D toilet.

It just doesn't make sense, but it's like. It's it is completely brain rotted make. I will send you a link to a video of an American news reader doing a piece to camera with a large amount of grown adult men standing behind her screaming 6-7 at the camera to the extent that I think one of them ends up lying on the deck fucking almost passed out with the intensity of the screaming of 6-7 and she shows absolute composure. It's fucking really irritating. Was the shops. I was the shops on Christmas time.

It was like a fucking some kind of Christmasy fuck. It was like a fake snowman or something or a Christmas tree. I forgot now. And this like lady about my age with our with our three kids and she gets the kids in front of it because I want a photo and she gets that camera or my phone and the kids like 6-7. And she goes, oh, stop it with a 6-7 stuff, man, I'm tired. And that's like on behalf of everyone. Stop it with the 6-7 stuff man, I'm tired. Is this yelling 911 and taking the legs out? Incredible, incredible, incredible, incredible flex.

Those kids don't care about it. They weren't alive. Yeah, yeah, the word life. They probably think it's all made-up. Jamie Reborn. What a fucking cool name. Who played the insurance broker. The the insurance president has been making a small amount of films as an actor. 2 upcoming ones in the work. She's going to be she's going to be in Highlander. Apocryphal. That's that's not that's not the new Highlander. She's a producer of a Watcher, a Hunter, a Sandman, and a Ghost writer form an an Easy Alliance and secretly meet with a computer science professor in hopes of convincing him to voluntarily abandoned his research into the existence of immortals.

She's the director, she's the writer. She's starring in it. This is fucking brilliant. She's basically making copyright infringement the movie. She's. Becoming her own Breen. That's amazing. That's amazing. Yes. She's like, she's like, I am summoning A cease and desist order from the people producing the new Highlander film. I am doing it. I am going to get cease and desisted so hard. They're going to send Henry Cavill rounds to know. That there can be only one. There can be only one. Jesus this is fucking wild, right?

This is writing. This is fire. Shot Is this real? Quotes MTV has many quotes on its quote page. Who could forget I resigned today as president of the bank? I mean, Jesus Christ. I mean, they're all just the, the bar dialogue. I want you to try this new wine. I'd love to try your wine. Nah this this all sucks.

So none of it's good. Like I said, there's no bars in this film. There's no there's no line that's really good. There's nothing that stands out. Sorry, there's. Somebody here and the state has the stage direction of it as well. So it says to Leah he was at least 20 years younger than him. Dylan, I knew I loved you when I was 8 years old. Jesus Oh my God fuck I've just seen that one.

Dania, did any to that sports in this film stick with you? Were there any bars you detected? Was there any writing that was fire? Does your job suck and do you hate the people you work with? Prefer not to say. Yeah, take the 5th on this roommate. Pill taking the pin when it's gone out of control. It's a crutch. Get off the pills straight about your life is. Someone in my life busy and has backpack.

I need you to go away now. Sorry for pushing you away, but I have to do to keep hacking into these government systems. Hacking into the government systems. But all the time it's just me trying to open Microsoft Teams to see what my CEO wants. But I like is just I really love Tim in this line. I'll go get us a drink to celebrate and and like and and like, you know, Tim's just got in the cook chair prepared in his mind, right? He's like, he's like, I'm going to sit right there and I'm going to watch it happen.

Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. You know, I'm I'm going to watch my fiance get ploughed by this much older man who who yet doesn't have like a kind of like swagger and charisma of an older man. And this kind of like made it a stand by relationship. You know what I mean? Like doesn't have this kind of like the swagger of like a desirable older dude. Yeah, he's like Mulroney in New Girl with a with a young. So additional is he? No, exactly. Not like he's he's a useless individual. Neil Breen, you don't. Who reminds us off.

You had to put Bojack Horseman, that frog guy who runs the talent agency and his shitty son, his shitty netball son gets the job and he keeps making stuff up with his sticky hands. That's not like this. My God. Oh my God. And then he's like that and it's a useless, useless vibe. He has no discernible skills, just presence. And I don't mean stage presence and being. He's just there. He's. Sort of mine in your corner in a in a fight or a conflict. Does he? No, he's not. He's he's, he's. Fucking that guy.

Yeah, across my Foxhall and see Neil Bruner there. Unless he's unless he was going to go class to Aeroniktu and then get a giant robot to kill everyone for me. You look at Neil Brader, his eyes just flash, he becomes like 5 people and he commands the Breen squad to go out there but then some random guy with a fucking douche card just fucking turns them all to pink miss. But he's like, what's that character? Invincible. Where like they could just take endless clothes themselves and as long as one of them is still alive they'll never die.

God, but then all of them would get wiped out. The Ding Travers Memorial Award for most most missed opportunity of the film. Having an actual script. Bars OK, Bang Mike. Anything to pick up on that one? Jesus Christ. I mean, like, yeah, what's the missed opportunity here? You had the opportunity not to make the film. Yeah, you had the opportunity to build a house instead. And yet it was a mistake. Yeah, chose to make this fucking film. Yeah, he could. He could have given that money away to to Trash Cats Cat Rescue in Pittsburgh, PA, but instead of exactly a terrible film.

Which is what everyone should do. They should give money to kittens because cats are good and perfect. My my missed opportunity is when Leah gets out the notepad and it hasn't had loads of other shit written on the page. Over the over the fucking in US person years. I would love it if he looks at the page and it's got it's been a magical day. And that is just got like random notes and like someones number and it's crossed out and like just been trying to draw that cool S that you used to draw when you were in school and then like just like just draw like a face or whatever.

And yeah, that would be funny. And what if, again, I'll short the passage of time and this film doesn't fucking? Show it, right. So, so, so like 13 years have probably elapsed, right? The film came out in 2013. So we can probably surmise that, you know, in 83 is when this is meant to have taken place. OK. So like, think of all the stuff you could have drawn in that gap between those fighter Dido. I know Dido. Oh my God, cool spot, cool spot. The 7UP logo in general. He flicks through it. It's just like the evolution of the 7UP logo.

Like a fucking like. I heart Marky Mark. Yeah, I heart Marky. Mark, Jesus. The Funky Bunch. Yeah, and then like just, Oh my God, just like, stop corny. The last page is just like she's still using it. Yeah, like the last page is just hashtag stop corny. You know what I don't understand? Speaking of missed opportunities. His writing, his acting is casting his plot line, and all the same with his other films show that he clearly has no shame. That's a good point actually. So. Why the fuck is the outside scene of him standing in front of generic public building green screen?

Yeah. Why? Did he not find some town hall and take 10 minutes out of his day? Yeah, you just stand there. Yeah, yeah.

It's American, someone might vote. He does that. He fucking just he fucking just stands in front of like some local town hall and sauce popped off about conspiracy theories. Next thing he was like a massive following on social media and like people like Yup, I believe this now. I fucking believe this now. Oh. My God guys, have you heard about Breengate? Breengate. Could you imagine it like he would be running on a platform of like Drain the Swamp, wouldn't he? It is I. Mean he is married to Melania.

Yeah, exactly. Well, well, he's married. Well, he's married to the ghost of her now, You know, an honest opportunity as, as I've said, just to show us fucking anything that's going on. It's an erotic drama that lacks Eroticism. It's a thriller that lacks thrills. It's a conspiracy theory film which doesn't actually show you anything at all of the conspiracy that's happening. No one fucking knows anything about anything. It's like a bunch of people stuck in a room who've been given ketamine and acid and the tool to make up a story.

Except. That would be funny. That's bars that I love that Rory, that was really. Was a bars. Was a bars. Absolutely. Thank you. I loved it. Really, really thank you. Absolutely adored that. Thank you. Yeah. Good run. I've really liked that. Absolutely true. Yeah, that's crazy. Rubbing Souls of the Wound, the the hardback book that he's got in his, in his office like 10 times over is Bob Woodward's The Wall Within. Like, so he knows investigative journalism exists. You know they say hell don't show you, you know?

What? Missed opportunity at the end. Instead of just walking away into the pastures with a lighting effect going on, they could have walked through the entrance to the hollow earth.

They should have just fallen off. To the edge of the Flat Earth fucked off the. Agatha. Like the little old lady comes back and says, by the way, Neil, the stars in the sky are a projection bye. I'm I'm going little bye. Birds are all AI drones. Bye. I mean, I mean, as we say, this is not a conspiracy theory podcast. The royal family, all lizards. Bye, bye. Gotta go now. But it's like, yeah. You know what I would watch? I would listen to Werner Hertzel commentary on Near Breen. Jesus Christ, he thought, that Penguin.

That's much enough to die. Yeah, even if we explain to him how movie making works, and even if he gave him a script, he would go right back to making horrible documentaries with a budget of 350. But one question remains but why? I want to say a fucking slavo easy Zack reacts to this film video like ideology. Werner Herzog remake of this but near Breen is played by. What's the guy from Fitzcarraldo called again? Oh God. Oh. God the. Angry German. Klaus Kinski. Yes, that's it. Yeah. Klaus Kinski. Yeah, I have you.

Brilliant, actually. Great reference by. The way that would actually fucking rules. I cannot do this you fucking shit. Oh my God, can you fucking imagine that? I really don't understand the question. So many missed opportunities. Would this film be better if Columbo was in it? Would this be better if we had Scruggly scruggly Peter Falk playing a character in it? Who would he play it? Would he replace someone? But he has a new role. Let's falker eyes this thing. Let's see if this fucking movie with Scott Alan Jackson.

Will this film be better about a real actor in it? Yeah. Yeah, I was. Yeah, I mean. Actually, I think this is the first film where I have to say I can't see it because it would be doing him a disservice. Yeah, obviously it'd be really bad for Peter Falk, but it's a payday like. Like is is Charmis that is a little awkward and a little bit weird in in this role and that doesn't work here because obviously near Breen has hoarded all the awkwardness you could find and kept it up for himself. Yes, you spot on.

Peter Falk, who was cool for certain reasons that don't make my stereotypically cool dude, would simply, pardon my useless language, MOG everybody in this film. Peter Faulk would be the coolest dude in this entire film. He would, he would. He would tie up the loose ends that is gems murder within moments by walking in and saying Yep she killed him and then proceed to just be cooler than everyone else. I would sadly ruin the film a bit. Not that you can ruin someone that's ruined. It would make the film even more incomprehensible and it would all feel bad for Peter Falk having to do with this shit.

What if Peter Falk played Dylan? What Peter Falk was Dylan instead of Neil Green? Like Neil Green wasn't in the movie and it was just, it was just Peter Falk and he got run over and he went home naked and he I'm hacking. I'm hacking in all these government systems to find out, see what I can find out about all this national and international corruption that's going on. That's actually true, but can his but can his multiple girlfriends be like age appropriate please? Yeah, sure, there's the dog. Here's the Beagle as well.

Yes. Fucking amazing. And when he discharges himself from the hospital, he's just wearing his fucking dirty overcoat from Colombo as Dirty Mac. Yes. He lost an eye in the crash. Yes, it was lying. The crash. That's amazing. You see that that will go. We've actually saved the film guys. We did it. We did it Patrick. We saved the city. I've got a really, really quick one on the weapon handling and use of weapons in in this films is very brief. It's not especially going heavy film. The pistol that is used to kill Jim, there's a Caltech PF9, a little Chipman shuffle 9 millimetre a pistol which jealous of because one of them is handled roughly by Helen Mirren in the film Red.

The I actually got wife clearance to make that body joke by was like, am I can am I can make a horny joke about Helen burned. Yeah, the the bizarre cursed rifle that looks really weird is a SIG 556. It looks weird as fuck because you notice it's a it's front iron sight. It's front foresight is under the barrel. Because whatever insane reason, the armourer, let's face it, Neil Green, has loosened the handguard and turned round so that the foresight is pointing downwards because obviously there's an optic on it, right?

So he's like, oh, well, let's say fuck you. So yeah, probably in our soft model, the Caltech pistol does look real. It doesn't have the belt clip that it shipped with attached works. It was like designed for like like under the under the waistband concealed carry. There you go. That's the entirety of the gun usage in that film covered. There we go. There we go. Thank you. I've got a surprise one for you. I've got a surprise round. This one is called Clear and Present Bree Universe. We have to take a character from this film and put them into any one of the films that we've covered on this podcast.

How would it work? And who we're going to put and which one? That's a good question. I like that. Yeah, I'm sorry. There's a blind side in here, but. OK, right. I'm going to. I'm going to bring the list of films that we've covered so far just so I've got it to hand. Yeah, right, okay, okay, okay, okay, right. First of all, we're gonna pick a character from the movie, okay? Yeah, the guy that I see the most utility for is Jim, right? Jim is my guy, okay. He's hard drinking, he's spun, loving, he knows his way around the wing there of a Ferrari.

He wants sex but he's not getting sex. So. But he's got an inbuilt bit of conflict already there. Good. Everybody in the story wants something, even if it's a glass of water and he wants to fuck. He wants to fuck. He's sure you can't help help you to a little drink. The movie that I think he's going to sit in pretty well. You know what? Fuck it. Smoking Aces. Why not? That movie's got too many people already anyway. Yeah, just add him to that gang with like, Chris Pine and stuff. Just have him dressed up in Leathers and just drinking and big an idiot brother.

Yeah, there you go. Fucking incredible. Incredible, incredible. I love it. I would very much like to put Amy in the meteor. God tell. Me. How you're going to do that? Oh, brilliant. I thought you were. Going to say Amy is a US Air Force service woman who's at that really cool underground fucking ally command base they've got under New York. And you know the bit when like the the commander just has his crash out. He started kicking off and he has his mantrum and and and like storms out. Well, she's there and she's like, I too am really pissy.

My back is. Killing me. And, and Sean Connery's like, beautiful. Shift target, shift target, shift target right. They come out the side. And just like that, he stops working on stopping the meteor because he's like, I can fix that back he. Goes he goes out that little room where he reads all his research, but instead of Natalie Wood on the little bed, though, it's her lying French down on the bed with a little side boob out. That's not just side boob, that's 1970s side boob. To get into a steamy direction, Roy.

Sean Connery. Giving a reason for back pain. Anyone for anymore? Well, I feel like we've had this earlier, but I feel like Neil Breen would have been a great addition to War of the Worlds. Oh, yes, yes. Yes, yeah, not, not the Tom Cruise or any of the other adaptations. The Ice Cube on or imagine Neil Breen as Jack Ryan in Hunt for Red October. That's terrible. Yes. Yes. He. Forgot brings this little laptop. About by imagining he's just sitting in the office in, in the, in the presidential briefing, like he cannot be doing this.

He can't be doing this. He isn't launching an ICBM on the nuclear states, on the United States. He isn't doing this. No, he is defecting. He's going to Crazy Ivan to sport. He's going to Crazy Ivan to the port. He turns port on his second Crazy Ivan. He does this. He Crazy Ivan's to the other side. Wow, I can see him being the War the Worlds more readily. I can seem like I'm hacking into all these predator drones systems just to see what I can find out. And then he just fucking right clicks and like hijacked drone.

Yeah. Commandeer drone. You could actually spin things up a bit by having him as an antagonist and he's like hacking against ice cube. So it's so it's so it's him an ice cube and a hacker battle and ice cubes like on MS Teams like doing all like the right clicking comedy, a drone thing. And he's just using like like he's just like 5 networks, Windows XP. Look at laptops that all have like slightly broken sticky keyboards while the coffee is spilled on them. He's just like hammering the keys and he's like, I'm hacking or the aliens because I am one of them.

Like the fucking and like the fucking Amazon drone delivery driver who saves the day also saves the day in this film by just exploding Neil Breen's head with like, the road of his Amazon quadcopter. The wish fulfilment going on there. Wish fulfilment massively so that would go. I think we're all been waiting for the reviews of other people, the notes from the peanut colouring. Jesus Christ. Yeah, let's do it. Let's fucking do this. Four stars. So five stars. Fake news. Neil Breen loves smashing his old laptop and getting his nipples out.

One star from someone named Phoebe. Can't help you out this one, Jim. Someone called Anna Imhoff says at least he's doing something with his life. No stars. Half a star from someone called Joel Haver. This is dog shit. I know Joel Haver, he makes he makes short films, animated films on on on YouTube. He said an incredibly hilarious one about the DK rap as long as Lanky Kong. Lanky Kong. Rap for the first time, yeah. Makes. He makes and he makes his own films. He's actually really talented. He's the best.

Yeah, let's. Come on the show. I would love that very much. One star from someone called Vinny Vine. Source. Hate this movie. I show all my friends. Half a star from someone called Matt. This probably would have been a bit better if it's straight up porn instead, just because of the porn level of acting. Lamar crying emoji hashtag Neil Brien for president. 5 stars from Josh with three HS. Easily the most magnificent thing I've ever witnessed. 3 stars from Arjun Rashford. If Tarkovsky's Solaris was like the Soviet answer of Kuiprix 2001, then Neil breeds fateful findings as the American answer to Solaris.

Fuck me man. Half a star from evil Bjork Gone Girl vibes. Let's meditate on evil Bjork for a second. I love that. I love that it's a higher York but evil. Her picture is just Bjork as well. That's pretty good. And if you're just my photos, I have no two titles attached. Who the fuck? Away. That's why I fucking love letterbox, dude. Oh God, the recent activity is fantastic as well. Oh my God, the animated film called feels good man. One star from somebody, Aziz if Birdman, The Elephant Man, Mulholland Dr the Room, Breaking Bad before Midnight, the Virgin Suicides, Terrence Malick, Zack Snyder, Neil Green's dead neighbour, Rick Harrison, politicians, Russian accents and the YouTube ads had an ugly white suicidal government hacking list making America loving, pacifism hating baby accurate.

Real son of 1000 maniac shit going on there lads. Those laptops were going through it. Half a star. This film would have won best picture if it wasn't the target of a government cover up. Sounds like fake news to me, but two stars from N e.g. Li FY19. This was the first Brain for my washed sober and I regret that I'm certain now Brain is responsible for 911 which changed everything. Cloud dot PNG is not the hero we needed, but the one we deserve. Five Star review from Bill Griff David Lynch question mark quaking, says Julia.

The five star review David Lynch God bless. That's just been like new stars. I still haven't seen Bicycle Thieves, but I've watched this three times. Oh. Jesus, Oh my God, yeah. The pain I'm going through is there's so many good fucking films to watch and I've I've watched this execrable bollocks. Half a star, profound All caps no more books. And someone, someone whose name is the letter T and the I emoji. Five stars. Have I ever commit suicide? I want Neil Breen to find me. Oh, this one's absolutely.

My head is throbbing. What the fuck? Oh my God, I sometimes think about the ending of this movie and genuinely tear up wishing it was the timeline we lived in. I can't disagree with that. It would be nice if someone did release some information that caused, you know, the the the collapse of evil men and governments. Yeah. Should it be Neil Green though? Yeah, you know, Neil Green would like get it wrong somehow and like, you like release it. You like unredact the wrong people's names. This from Pro or Contra CIA?

Oh, that's actually a good question, Because who's trying to kill him? Who put that shooter in place? Yeah. So if this is a remake of Double Down, if we start that with our certain sort of preconception, then in that movie he was a rogue CIA agent. And the back of his rogue means he is contrary to the CIA, right. And in this movie, he's uncovering all government corruption, national and international corruption. So I think he's anti I. Think so too. How's the count looking? It scores on the doors.

Jesus 11 to 4 I think. Got to deal more Jack Ryan movies.

Right. Speaking of next movies, OK, where are we at? This episode is going out on the 8th of March. I want to say. So our next movie Gang is next week, Mission Impossible 3 from 2004 to celebrate the joint birthdays of Michelle Monaghan and Keri Russell. It's going to be good. That is very. Excited. Then again, anything after Neil Breen film is going to be good. That horror film my new friends making about the poppet party toy is going to be better than this film. In that case guys, just the final word to say this has been the podcast on supporting bonus episode of Clear and Present is once again reminds me to check out the Trash Cats Rehoming Centre for Disadvantaged Cats in Pittsburgh, PA.

And finally, guys, we have been. Clearing present.

Podcasthon 2026 Special - Fateful Findings (2012) for Trash Cats Rescue

What's This About?