Mission Impossible: III (2006)

Of. Power. Hello and welcome back to Clear and Present Dudes, the podcast that reminds you Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall. I am Mike Zumbar. I'm joined by Roy James O'Toole and Sonya Bioxan, good evening. Hello. And tonight our mission, should we choose to accept it, is to pop out and get some more ice for our engagement party. And while we're out, discuss the 2006 franchise saving Mission Impossible free episode should be reaching you on the 23rd of March 26th. It might be sooner for technical reasons, but very happy birthday to Michelle Monaghan and Kerry Russell notwithstanding.

OK, cool. First of all, do a little call action, please. I can subscribe to the podcast and do that on YouTube. Do that Apple, do that on Spotify or wherever podcasts. Cool. Thanks very much, guys. Right. Mission Impossible three. I said it was a franchise saving movie. What do you think? Well, I for one have just thought that I'm very glad that this movie has spared me from one of the questions I've come to be most irritated by on this podcast, which is how would this have gone down in Germany?

Because the film's already answered that. It does. It does good on in Berlin or an area somewhere near Berlin I guess. Yeah, cool, real tool. Franchise saving is right, while while I don't have an axe to grind against Mission Impossible 2, it's it's definitely one of the films of of all time. I couldn't have seen an entire this. This film got the got the franchise from what I can see, because I haven't seen everyone, but from what I can see, it did get it back on track. It got it back towards the kind of thriller end of things rather than the absolutely ape shit John Woo gunfu kind of thing.

Great film, first time I've seen it. Pleasantly surprised because I did read some reviews that showed it to be quite polarising. Like there were a lot of people who really hated JJ Abrams mystery box kind of storytelling primarily and stuff like that. But I really enjoyed it. It was it was emotionally heavier hitting than I expected. Yeah, absolutely. I'll tell you what, why don't we grab our Kodak disposable cameras and take a look at the trailer? Who are you?

You have a wife, girlfriend. Whoever she is, I'm going to find her and then I'm going to kill you right in front of her.

Welcome back brother. Mission Impossible 3 or M Colon I Colon I I I is a 2006 American action spy film directed by JJ Abrams in his feature film directorial debut Pushed and starring Tom Cruise from a screenplay by Abrams and a writing team of Alex Kurtzman and Roberto Orti. It is a standalone sequel to Mission Impossible 1996 and Mission Impossible 2 from 2000 and the third instalment in the Mission Impossible film series, which for the rest of this podcast will refer to simply as Mission. It also stars Philip Seymour Hoffman, Ving Rhames, Billy Crudup, Michelle Monaghan, Jonathan Reese Myers.

Remember him from Gorman Ghast. Yeah, Keri. Keri Russell, Maggie Q. Laurence Fishburne is here as well. And yeah, cool this movie as in let's put it nicely, development hell for a while. Think I think they all watched Mission Impossible 2 John Woo of face off fame and kind of went we need to have a bit of a reset here. Just to give you a better background on the history David Fincher was initially slated to direct. David Fincher hasn't got a good track record with with attacking the third of a series.

Obviously his his first film, of course, was Alien 3, which was pretty much critically and commercially panned, wasn't it?

He dropped out for creative differences. I would agree that's finding its feet. I mean each film of Mission series so far has been kind of wildly different. I mean the first one, you know, like it's it's an auto LED piece. As I said when we talked about it, it's got so much like DNA from like the 1970s and checked it in. It would like it's got like the kind of three days, the Condor vibe as well as that. The next one, it's like what 1999 or 2000, but it came out MI 2 when EV when everyone on the face of the earth has turned up to 11.

Everyone's wearing those cool black shirts with the red flames up on them. They've got like the backwards red baseball caps. They're all listening Limp Bizkit. And ironically, they're they're wearing gigantic baggy jeans and shit. The world's a different time, but totally different time. And that again, 2006 when when Mission 3 comes out, the world has once again completely changed this these epochal spaces essentially almost like a generational DAP between these films. And when you look at the contexts around them and what's good in in like the film world, what's going to make money in films, what's going to get people in the cinemas and what's going to kind of transmit to people.

I think that I think that it was a series that like kind of it hadn't found its feet yet because I didn't know what I wanted to be or what was going to be at this point. Yeah, I think you're right, man. I think I think it was very much faltering on its on its babies sort of steps. Also, there's quite a long time period between these films. So six years is quite a long time in in in cinema between a sequel if you're trying to maintain a currency and a franchise, unless that franchise has an extremely strong set identity.

And this doesn't really all it's hard is basically you slap the theme sheet onto it and and Tom Cruise is there. That's mission and anything else goes. Pretty much if I was going to turn my mission head off and just become like a film critic for a bit, this is probably maybe one of the better ones of like how it hangs together. Maybe the best one in terms of how it hangs together as a movie because it's not trying to do some kind of like big tentpole stunt. But the rest of the movie is sculpted around.

This is this is a movie where the story kind of came first. So once the Fincher dropped out, Drew Carnahan was slated to do it for a long time. And I think you will probably want to talk about Joe Carnahan maybe a bit later on when we get into like trivia and stuff. There was a, there was a lot of casting stuff that went on in the background there. Maybe we'll talk about that. In casting people, you know, friends became enemies and enemies became friends people. People joined the projects. People left the project.

It was stricken by numerous delays. Lots of people dropped out. Lots of changes from what they initially desired the movie to be. Long story short, Tom Cruise one night at the end of his rope maybe is scanning the channels and at 2:00 AM somehow he stumbles upon the TV series Alias and his mind, his mind is blown. Maybe he's just. Like me, he's just like me. For real, for real, for real. He sees it. He sees he sees Jennifer Garner doing her like her one appointed stunt per episode. And it's like, this is amazing.

This is this is peak television. Who made this? JJ Abrams. So he, he and he and Paula Wagner basically invite him to his house and he arrives and they pretty much offer him the job. Do you want to direct Mission Impossible? You've never dropped to a movie before? Do you want to direct a tent pool blockbuster? Summer blockbuster? For me, Tom Cruise, I go wild, but he does it. And they they delay the movie for another couple of years because JJ has got alias and lost commitments to, to to uphold. But then once that's done, boom, off to the off to the races and they're making a movie.

Yeah. So JJ Abrams has got a few people he tends to work with and he's carried that forward. So some of that's in the casts we'll talk about when we get to the cast. Another one is Michael Giacchino is the composer in this movie. I don't know how well you guys know Michael Giacchino off as a video game composer. Or I should say, one of his early big bits of work was Medal of Honour. And then he kind of forged a career doing a lot of TV work. So we did like Lost with JJ Abrams. He did some brilliant music on that.

And then he kind of got famous for doing, he's done most of the Pixar movies, right? And then latterly he's done with his Rogue One. So he was the first composer of a Star Wars feature film that wasn't John Williams? Yeah. So big shoes to fill there and I think he did a really good job. There's a particular piece of music on that soundtrack calls Your Father Would Be Proud, which is phenomenal. Yeah, really good. More than more than Stan Sooto. Lastly, he did the soundtrack for The Batman as well with Robert Pattinson.

So really cool. And then really lately he did well a couple of years ago now that Marvel one shot Werewolf by Night. He directed that and did the music for it, which is really cool. Cool. So the other thing about Michael Giacchino, he's really famous for putting puns in the names of the tracks on his soundtracks. So I'm just going to read you a couple from from the Batman. Here we go. So I'm really the Batman soundtrack we've got here what we got. We've got escaped crusader good and we've got highway to the anger zone.

We've got a meow and you and everyone we know or you a Kenzie or a can't see what else we got here. This is so bad. And then finally, all's well that ends. Farewell. Great. And then finally, a little nipper tease. Michael Giacchino has a son, Nick Giacchino, who is also a composer now, and his funny old thing working on the spin off of The Batman, the Penguin, and has also done a spin off of the Star Wars movie skeleton crew as well. So that's, well, cancer from Michael Giacchino. Yeah, Sonia, go ahead.

I've got another little tidbit adding to this. This isn't the only JJ Abrams Michael Giacchini crossover I've seen. The other one that comes to my mind is the alternate timeline Star Trek miniseries, which explains. I mean, that is mostly JJ Abrams things I think, I guess, but it would explain the tremendous amount of lens flare this film is giving us. Yeah chasing was famous I think I don't know if he's calmed down since but a lot of lens flare lens flare in this lens for insane as a lens flare in the Star Trek movies Super 8 big lens flare yeah loves a lens flare and then I I've only watched did he do Rise of Skywalker as well the last of the.

Yes, because he said, didn't he? He did. He did The Force Awakens and then Ryan. Johnson. For the last. The Last Jedi and then The Rise of Skywalker. But I've only watched that once in the cinema with you, Rory. Yeah, in 2019. And I haven't seen it since because I hated it. But. But I seem to remember there'd been quite a lot of lens flares doing that too. Insane amounts of lens flare. Yeah, Unreal. I was thinking today maybe I should reassess that and watch it again, but I think I might just get mad again.

It's just a man. You put 50P in his. Fucking hell, I would have. I would have of the sequels it is by far away the fucking worst. Not don't count anybody says it is so fucking bad and I know it. Fucks sake man. Somehow Palpatine returned. Yeah, yeah, it's terrible that the chewy fake cow. I liked the bit where she goes. I mean, it's not good, but it's funny that she went to like, Intergalactic Burning Man. I like that bit. The bit where she heals a worm with the Force. What the fuck, man? The bullshit bit at the end where she's like some old, random old woman in the middle of the desert asks her what her surname is so she can say so she can look at a Force ghost and go Skywalker.

OK, fucking all right, whatever. Something better if she like looked if, if if she just like looked like right down the camera and went my name Jeff, that would be actually something that would fucking laugh about down the line instead of cringe instead of cringe instead of die. Right, so we need to. Podcast to go cyber bully days riddling and. No, leave Disney really alone. She's. She's I, I feel bad. I was like, oh man, she didn't do anything. That wasn't her fault. Yeah, she's she's a splendid, perfect flower.

Leave her alone. But do come. I don't know who the fuck to blame for this.

I mean, it felt poor and it probably comes together with the Star Wars fandom probably being one of the most toxic online communities around. Yeah, if you are listening to this and you are one of the people who kicked off really, really hard about The Last Jedi, well then fuck you because you'll why Palpatine came back, Right, Right. That's all we're going to say about that. Actually. I mean, I was thinking about it earlier today. Maybe maybe because they killed Snoke is why Paltine came back and they shouldn't have killed Snoke.

But that's like the one fair criticism against The Last Jedi. Like maybe you shouldn't kill the big bad in movie two or three anyway. OK, right. OK, fuck. So I normally read the Wikipedia summary. The Wikipedia summary for this neglects to mention the cold open. So fade in. The first image we see is that of a man, extremely tight on his brutalised face, breathing heavy, bruises fresh. The wounds, the grime and sweat speak of an exhausting disorient and tortured journey. These are weak Mama Spaghetti.

We're looking at the Huns, wildly alert, his eyes trained off camera, he looks at all ones, terrified, blind with rage, heartbroken. Then, finally, a voice. There's an explosive charge on your head. Sound familiar? The man speaking to Ethan is an imposing 37 year old sprog, A cold eyes. He stands, doesn't feel away, pulling a pistol from a shoulder holster. He is Owen. Davian. He cocks the gun, standing behind him as a second man. We'll simply call him Bronway, bandage on his nose and we will forget about him and barely see him again.

Davian, the rabbit's foot, where is it? Ethan, we now realise, is bound to a bolted down chair, a barber's chair, a beat. I gave it to you, Ethan. Where's the rabbit's foot? What are you saying? That that's not it? What I gave you that that's not the rabbit's foot. I'm going to count to 10. You tell me what the rabbit's foot is or she dies. Ethan's eyes flick back to where they were before, and we Dolly to reveal that there's a fourth person there, 30 years old, bound to a chair, a length of duct tape plastered tightly across her mouth.

Under normal circumstances, you'd consider her confident, intelligent, athletic and kind, a natural beauty. These clearly, are not normal times. Her name is Julia, and Davian holds the gun to her head, blind with fear. But not right now. She's sweating, she's busted, just crying. She's choked, crying and. Throwing. Up, just come to shop or not throwing up on the verge of madness. Ethan says with love and strength. Jules, honey, it's going to be OK. It's going to be OK to understand. Holy shit, the clock has started.

Julian squeals quietly, muffled from behind the tape. He begins relatively calmly. Listen to me, I got exactly what you asked for. Did you want something else? There was a misunderstanding. I will fix it for you. I can get whatever you want too. Hey man, and I'm just talking to you. Put the gun down. It's out of the rabbit's foot. Did you want something else? Just listen to you talk man. We can talk like gentlemen. 3 Ethan suddenly struggles like man to extricate himself from his bones, blah blah blah blah blah.

So we have this account up to 10 where a gun is fired, bang. And then we start into the Mission Impossible music. And this movie doesn't do what some of the ones do, which is so don't. I just didn't clock it. It doesn't do the thing where it flash forwards loads to lose. The stunts are happening in the movie. Is it or not? It doesn't I don't think it does no. Of course we're all wondering who the fuck is that one? Because that's not Tando in Newton, who was his his girlfriend at the end of the last one.

So he's he's got himself a girlfriend now. Another thing I like about this, which is really cool, is that as you see on his batters smashed up face, he's got a tiny little bit of blood dripping down 1 nostril, which if you pick that up now and then you kind of notice it later on when they're talking about Keri Russell. And then you kind of piece together what's happened to him before it gets said. I like that. I like when they give you a little clue. And then obviously we see Phillip Seymour Hoffman as the mysterious, we don't know his name is yet, the mysterious gunman.

What did you think you what was your first impression of Phillips? Sonia, have you seen this film before? Yes, Actually, for once, I think I've seen all parts of a franchise we're talking about. Wow. Thrilling Times is Rory. Hasn't seen it and you have. That's going to be first. I want a medal. Yeah, you can get a bell. Yeah, yeah. 3 bars as well. What was what was your all right? So who had who had seen the film before? Has everyone seen the film before? I've not, this is my first time. Oh, really?

We go right, Roy, What was your first impression of Phillip Seymour? Often. He's just incredibly sinister. Like there's this, there's this measured delivery behind the way he speaks as general on screen presence. It doesn't feel like your typical screech and kick it off going a shit like the last slash action move. You guess more like action action moving nemesis. He's he. He feels like disconcertingly realistic and believable, very measured, very pissed off, but also like it's it's a believable kind of crazy, if you see what I mean.

The kind of the brakes he puts on his performance changes from someone who's screaming at you on a screen to someone who you could actually imagine being in a room. If you're intimidating you in in such a fashion, that's actually held baby. Yeah, so Philippine often is what was obviously gone far too soon was one of those incredible actors who unlike so some actors get like typecast and they and they do a certain role really well and that's what they always end up doing, right. Philip Seymour Hoffman could turn his hands to to anything.

He could. He could be big and comedic. He could be in like weird and sinister. He could be like honestly, like off unhinged sinister. You could be like an avuncular, you know, approachable older guy. Hey, he was great. Everything I remember the first time I kind of clocked him was probably in the central woman from 1992 with opportunity plays like Charlie Sims, as an indicate. Chris O'Donnell plays. Yeah. He plays like his classmate. He's like the really, he's the one who like is trying to get the cover up from and stuff.

He's the he's the bully, basically. Yeah, it's called Shtar, you idiot, Doug Gastard. He's a fucking asshole that but he's yeah, hateful. Oh, the towns are Mr Ripley. He's wonderful in that as well. Very different character. Yeah, great. So yeah, he's great. Wonderful. Just want to show a little tribute to Philip Seymour often there, but we'll talk. We'll we'll we'll re encounter him as the movie goes on, especially there's an amazing bit of a vibe again we're going to have to talk about. Right.

Anyway, movie starts when we get a bit of a bit of a change of pace for mission. IMF agent Ethan Hunt is retired from field work and has settled down with his fiance, nurse Julia Mees, who was unaware of his job training recruits. He believes that he that she believes that he works for the transport agency or something. Yeah, and the Department of Transport. That's it. Yeah. Yeah, it's a. Fucking really stupid cover for someone who's involved with like a top secret like intelligence agency that does deniable kinetic operations worldwide.

Even even though he's retired from them, he's still quite part of them I think. Why? Why can't he just be like a a private security contractor or something? Why couldn't he just be like a consultancy? Why can't he just pretend to be a part of a consultancy that does that, deals with defence contracts, and then he can all reasonably? All there's all there's tonnes of other kind of agencies he could work for which would still give him the kind of peaceful guy who just cares about like infrastructure.

I think he could have worked for USAID because at this point from hadn't closed and gutted it. It could have worked for fucking UNICEF or something, you know? And I mean, like, I get the like they've got as cover as US like our State Department, but like, yeah, for the USCID, you'd work for that kind of thing, but. They're including my office or something? Yeah, yeah. I mean, but they've got them working for the Department of Transport, which is, it seems like a disaster waiting to happen. It seems like your cover is going to get blown eventually, right?

I'd say, oh, man, why you? Why you, why you're so sad? Or just a few of my buddies at work got like massive, got in a gunfight and then like, the US government disavowed directions. But hold on, was, was, was, was this the same thing as a train being delayed last week? I was really sad. About the train. Yeah. Sick of these potholes? So we meet, yeah. So we, so we meet them at the. It's an engagement party they're having, isn't it? And loads of loads of people he doesn't know are there and loads of people he's very vaguely knows.

So he's meeting a lot of people for the first time. So he's he's giving his cover a workout. There's a couple of things that that kind of he kind of tips his high a little bit by accident. So there's a bit where Julie Julia, played by Michelle Monaghan, is having a conversation with a couple of her friends. One of them is Iles from Rizzoli. And Iles, by the way, Yeah, you're struck Mcbriffy's and. Todd from NCIS as well. Yeah, right, Rod, Hot Rod for K Todd. Hot Rod for K Todd. And yeah, so she's she's talking to those two.

And this is a funny little bit of trivia. So when they when Tom Cruise was filming The Last Samurai, some of that stuff was filmed in New Zealand. And one of the locations was this plague Lake Wanica. And that is the reason why he and Julia in this film met in in Lake Monaca doing some kind of like a war sports. So yeah, he's he's he overhears them as she's trying to remember the name of the place. And then he isn't over here. I mean, he lips reads, which comes. Yeah, which comes back later. But it's a good bit of screenplay, foundational work.

And then. Yeah. So he we learned he can lip read. And then then we see him have like a few conversations with some fun people. Fucking Aaron Paul. Yeah. Isn't this movie? Todd Chavez jump scare. Todd Chavez, Bojack Horseman mentioned again. Jack mentioned relentlessly. I have to say that what when, when you look at that kind of thriller code thriller maxing activities, Todd from Bojack actually pulls off some severe fucking moves that like not even some of the best thriller protagonists could have done.

And he does them accidentally. That one episode when he ends up fucking managing to join the Latin Kings and the Aryan Brotherhood in the same episode when he's incarcerated. You know, the episode when he accidentally fucking impersonates the leader of a Eastern European dictatorship. It's all very. It's all very Ethan Hood coded, actually. It actually is. I like when he writes a rock opera as well. Yes, it sounds like that last, like the last song for a place that is rich in loam. He writes it on.

Like a little casual. Like a little casual, like toy organ. Fantastic. Beautiful stuff. So while all this is happening, he said, Oh, sorry, I've got to mention the bit where Ethan's doing his cover and he's talking about traffic patterns to that dude who we see later in Star Wars. Yeah, Greg Grunberg. What a bit of netball buddy casting Gigi Abram's school friend who we just like fucking gets into loads of his films. Yeah. Greg Grunberg who will always knows of some back Parkman from Heroes because he has such a fucking cop face.

Kevin's like the Department of Transportation, and he feels like, yeah, I've been there for almost 10 years now. Wow. And Kevin's like, what is that? What do you do there, Ethan? Study traffic patterns, flow, parking control strategy, optimum speed limits. And we developed plans of attack to eliminate the blockage. When you hit the brakes for a second, just tap them on the freeway. You can literally track the ripple effect of that action across a 200 mile stretch of road. And you know why do you know?

Because traffic has memory. It's amazing. It's like a living Organism. Let me finish up that martini for you. Wow. And then Keithan, like Ethan walks off. Kevin does that look if like who the fuck is this guy? He like rolls his eyes and pretends to be asleep as I go. So boring. What do you do for a job, Kevin? Yeah, that's so fucking interesting. And. Love like the immediate reaction to the two women round. I'd marry him. I'd marry him. It's like I'm fucking ovulating right now, you know? It's like they are like, yeah, yeah, that's cool.

So during the party, Ethan receives a phone call. It's it's encoded, isn't it? It's they say it's a like a cold calling call from. Travel Agency. So he hangs with the film, not saying anything, reaches down to the ice box, throws all the ice out and then tells Julia that they've run out of ice. We asked him to the shop. So he goes and does that. And in the still gas station, he bumps into the IMF director of operations, John Musgrave, played by Billy Crudup. And he approaches him about a special mission to rescue one of Ethan's proteges, Lindsay Faris, who's played by Kerry Russell.

Yeah, so. Brilliant scene. Yeah, it's good. So what are they doing? They're talking, but they're not looking at each other. Tom Cruise, Ethan is looking for like the the talk about slushies and like what to eat, and he's looking at chips and stuff. There's a whole thing in the screenplay, which I think is cut out, about how Ethan has been so busy planning this party that he hasn't eaten and he's really hungry, which they cut out. That is, he's just like me. For real. For real. Should have left that in.

Ethan Hangry confirmed. Ethan hungry? That sounds like they want to go hangry. Right what? What was your impression of Billy Crook when you first saw him? Did you catch on the vibes? You're a little bit off of this guy straight away. Fucking sinister. I've I've I've found the vibes to be off in this. Says says something, there's the something he says that like gets my back up almost straight away. Most grave. Hey, I know we joke about it, but I'm always as close to begging you to quit training on people who get your ass back in the field.

But it's not what you do anymore. Respect your choice, except I know how you close, how close you were with Lindsay, so I figured you might want to lead the team. It gets a little bit too like Tony on the heartstrings. Yeah, which gives me which gives me off vibes. Yeah, it's, it's unprofessional for someone in that kind of childbirth, isn't it? I mean. Come. On, come on, come on. Do it for her buddy. Do it for her buddy. Come on. It's like. And it and it works. It takes the, it takes that camera, goes home, sits in his garage and watches the through the little Kodak thing, watches, watches the mission brief.

As we're watching the mission brief, we're hearing about this guy, Owen Davian. And Owen Davian has taken Lindsay Faris captive in a big warehouse in Berlin somewhere. And the team has already been nominated for it, including Declan Gormley, played by John for Reese Myers, Zen Lee, played by Maggie Q and our old friend Luther Stickle. Yeah. Play, play, play by Bing, Rhames, Phineas, Freak himself. And as we're getting that brief, we're also getting like these sort of like Super 8 flashbacks. Yeah.

Of training montage with. Yeah, stick fighting. Stick fighting. Yeah, crack, crack, crack the stick fighting and like tripping each other up and oh, you're good, but you're not as good as me. And then she trips him up and it's like, ah, you find me, you've bested me kind of thing. And she's like, she's like blindfold on rebuilding rifles and handguns and stuff and all that kind of thing. But but it's like fun bounce because that's what people that IMF do for fun. So you get that. And then it's a bit like, you can see it's like emotionally affected him.

And you know, with the decision he's made before he's made it, he's going to go and lead up this mission. So he does that. He explains to Julia that work called. There's a public transport conference that's dropped short notice I have to go to. There's a transport emergency? What like has it been a train crash? Has has has been a massive multi car pile up somewhere? Has a fucking bridge falling onto a freeway? No, this is an urgent conference I've got to go to right before I get married. Moid behaviour.

She is dumping this man. She is going to be all over at it with this. I think we need to discuss Julia's taste in men and her inability to see a red flag. I think Sandy was going to say something there. Yeah, I was going to say the transport emergency is the 1615 from Brighton coming through and it's being pulled by a red green diesel today and he needs to put a 3D camera into his mouth and film himself on the bridge over the track. Francois Bourgeois, that's what he is. Can you imagine, like to keep up, keep his cover?

He's got a whole Instagram real channel. I'm doing that. This is the 1615. And is he got a tooth? The horn for me? Yeah. The horn for me, yeah. And then fucking flash forward like 3 weeks and you're some terrorist in the middle of butt fuck Noah and the last thing you see is this guy who you laugh at on YouTube suddenly appearing in your bedroom with trained M4 and just connecting you to God's Wi-Fi and it's like. So we we get it, we get it here and we get it. We get it after this Berlin sequence where like Julia like is she's obviously knows he's hiding something.

She's not like a total idiot, but she but she's she's like incredibly in curious about it. She's like, and it's not like a deal breaker for it's all she's like, look, this, whatever it is you're hiding, you can tell me, you know, I know there's something and like she doesn't know that's work related. It could be, could be anything. You could be, you could be like a criminal. You could be having like 10 affairs. You can have a whole secret family somewhere. He could be trapping people in a basement somewhere.

You know what? I mean at all, at all tracks like a fair behaviour, doesn't it? Because as cover story, it's so mundane, yet he's having to go on these emergency conferences and shit. It's like. I need to take my other kid from my other secret family to the dentist. He just goes and puts on one of his IMF masks that he keeps just like being a like guy is like, hi, it's me, it's your dad Frank and like Papa Frank. It's the old Doug Ray Scott one from the On the Other Guy. Just like fucking hell yeah, man.

Like, I mean, she's, she's powering through all the red flags and all our friends are as well. It's mad. It's like it'd be the fact. I mean if I was doing this kind of behaviour and Emma's mates would be like seriously, put a fucking air tag in his jeans. But there's a version of this story where Like Julia Mees wound up on Like Love Is Blind season 10, like well beyond like the one. Let's just add like people, people have known for a long time what this show is. People are trying to get on there, but she's still there trying to find actual love, not to try and get famous for a little bit.

And she's just getting attracted. She's just one year with like the worst guys, just all the most terrible men you've ever heard of. Like people who meet her then go, oh, I thought you'd have bigger tits. So I'm not attracted to you. So I may ask. Fuck it. That's Michelle Marrahan, you idiot. Yeah, like some guy, like, he like, sits in front of her like he's bought like, like the smallest glass of wine he he can get because he's cheap and he's not like a fucking big dope like Doctor Papa, like, like me the God drink.

And he's like, actually, you've got a low canful tilt and your elbows are sharp. I'm sorry. And he's yeah, yeah, yeah. It's. Over and. He's, he's really got the list of qualities that she should have, but like in a LinkedIn sort of way. Oh. My God, it's like, like those, like those, like those nightmare dating profiles. They say, ladies, you must be 18 to 22 years old, 5 foot 2 to 5 foot 4, Catholic trad, never married, no tattoos, support the troops. And then they got like 1520 different fucking like deal breaking prerequisites and that it's a dude who just looks like he didn't finish cooking and needs to go back in the womb for a month.

Yeah, yeah. And, and, and these guys, like she'll be dressed to the nines and he'll be, and they'll be there like in a fancy restaurant. He'll be there with like a pair of cargo shorts on. Yeah. And like and like his in his in his nice T-shirt. The good one, The good one, the one with two stains on it. Yeah, yeah. Only two stains on it. God, yeah, and he's got like a broccoli haircut. My God, he's he's he's got the whole I got half fucking. I see you got half your haircut kind of thing. Oh my God is.

This already the most egregious oversaw of the military industrial complex and getting away with being a walking red flick despite being that short. Big time the fact that the fact that the like we were skipping ahead a little bit, but the fact that you fucking he convinces them to get married in the hospital Chapel. Holy shit. Like without presumably they have a marriage licence already. I guess if they've they figured that out. This is Marine Corps boot camp behaviour. It is, it is this is, this is like wow, like an officer and gentleman type stuff like like finishing phase one about to go and do phase two on the other side of the country.

Got to lock him down to marriage now. I don't know, Okie from Muskogee. I can get that right here. I want to be, I want to be an officer's wife. I want to live in pets. I want to yeah, we're in. Pets are cooler now, but I want to live in Hawaii like. Do you, Johnny Boot Marine, take this girl who you only know by her dancing name, who you met at 3:00 this morning to be your lawfully wedded wife On this date, the same date at 5:00 in the morning? Fucking alchemy bad from us. Like do you take what's your real name?

Because I know what's not really charisma. 1/3 it is Jesus Christ. Welcome to the dance world. About to Make Love to some Marines and get married. That's Christmas. We, I'm just, I have right now. I was going to say, we're not here on Christmas. Girls going to make a living. Fucking right. Absolutely. We, we, we, we support the troops and we support the midnight ballerinas. You know, go get it. I was going to say we, we have taken the peace out of traffic transport emergency meeting for 10 minutes now.

Rory, I think out of us three, your job is the only one that's done drug tests recently. Yeah, and once again I missed out on them. You make a very good point. We've talked about this for a while. So Berlin. So Berlin. OK guys, so the rocket Berlin, this film I think right. I, I like it a lot, but I think it suffers from not adequately explaining the heists before they do them. And this counts as one of them, I think. And I know that this is very much still in the first sort of 15 pages of scripts kind of thing.

So less of an issue with this one. But we could have the Vatican. I think it's a problem anyway. So Kerry Russell is somewhere in the middle of this building having been tortured. She's she's barely conscious. Standard setup. It's a it's a warehouse full of goons and what they've done. Get your mind out of the gutter. Get. Your mind back into the goon cave. It's a it's a, it's a warehouse full of thugs and hench men and, and that plan and I thought that plan would be right. So he's plans to exfiltrate her.

And I thought, OK, right, cool. So this was like a stealth action kind of game. You'd go in there, you'd try not get detected. And then it turns like an escort mission where you had to fight your way out. Probably. It's not quite what happens here. What happens here is they've got like a flatbed lorry, which they've turned into like an OPS room. I love that. By the way, classic option minivan tick Phineas freak has set up for machine guns, links to laptops with like EO so they can remotely operate them, which is cool.

And he set them up to attack various parts of the building based on and it's not made explicitly clear, but they have some sort of X-ray capability where they can see through the walls. It's not quite heat, it's something else they can see through the walls, so the top of that van is presumably pumping quite a lot of rads towards that building to be able to do that. There's there's like fucking there's like high degrees of male infertility reported in like the next like few years after that drops that part in Germany.

Price, that little chip inside of Kerry Russell's head hasn't been singed by that actually already, but yeah, OK. But if you have been surveilled by Ethan Hunt in the last 10 years, you may be entitled to compensation. So, so that's happening. So the team we have Declan Gormley, who is sitting in a Huey off site and is dripping about it like he's like he's bored. All you have to fly about it. Yeah, All I do is copy. Like me. You've also also going to fly Huey. That's cool. So that's that. Zen Lee, Maggie Q. We're going to call him Maggie Q for the rest of the movie.

Yeah. Because no one else calls. No one else calls a my character name. So Mikey Q, her job is to go in and steal evidence. So she's trying to get a couple of laptops that are in there. So she's infiltrating and doing that concurrently. Meanwhile, your boy Ethan Hunt is in there trying to find Kerry Russell. So initially it seems pretty quiet. They go in there, There's very little fighting. Megan Q kills a guy in one office, which is the same office that all the laptops are in, and she goes. And then she starts, like, basically packing them up into a bag to steal.

Yeah. It very quickly turns into a bit of a connect situation. Yeah. Once they secured her and got her like down on the ground and covered after he's injected it with some like adrenaline or something, they basically like duck down and then do like they just fire all those machine guns off for a laugh and they just basically start shooting the building up seems unsafe and start a massive firefight. And then there's a very cool bit where like Ethan and and Carrie are like back-to-back shooting people.

And they do a cool thing where like Ethan throws a pistol towards her and it spins in the air, but she catches it and she spins around a corner and kills a guy all in one slick movement, which is very cool and looks very good. Yeah, I like the sequence. What? What did you say about it? I like there's a lot of a real life for assault. Quickly going back to the helicopter thing, I love how the IMF might be a very super secret sketchy outfit. The respectful enough of the German government to have their otherwise unmarked black helicopter have big ass German national registration numbers on it's on it's tail.

Boom, very very visible. That's a fake registration on that by the way. It. Is indeed. So the helicopter was a model built by Industrial Light in Magic yeah, yeah, yeah. So I don't know if there's a big. One then, yeah. Exactly. Yeah. So it's like 1 one third scale I think. Oh cool man. And yeah, so I like that they've they've got these like sketchy unmarked helicopters. But apart from the big ass, big ass German national registration number there, I look like there's there's a great kind of storytelling with with Tom Cruise and Kerry Russell just through the way the move together, the way the fire together.

There's those scenes when I go back-to-back. There's one shot in particular that just the way the paused, the way the acting together hits in such way as you think she's going to be in the rest of the film, that's awesome. Absolute dopamine. It's a great storyteller. It is. And if you think about, like, if you think back to the original Mission Impossible, yeah. And the number of women that are on the team there. But if you think, well, it's not the first time they've had a team that's dominated by women.

And also, that's also in that film, there's a little bit of sexual tension between Tom Cruise and every woman. Yeah. In that team so you know it's like they could be going for a similar vibe in this movie and they could be going for like a will they won't they between him and Kerry Russell because then it would be like someone he loves from his IMF life versus someone he loves from his non IMF life. And that could be like the plot that goes forward. So you yeah, you could definitely read that and go this is where this movie is going.

Yeah. Yeah, that can ask to get that kind of thing. But it ain't. Exactly it is. So they do a very cool stunt where they have to jump up the building after like deadening and gas pipe, and they jump up the building and like kind of rappel down at speed onto the top of the waiting van that Mufa's driving to exfill them having with having already had Maggie Q jump over a window to exfill as well. Very cool. And then they drive away with them on top of the van, midway to the helicopter. At the same time as they're driving in the van, another enemy helicopter flying extremely low altitudes to fit into the shot.

It's. Such a fucking cool scene it. Is really good to the point where, you know, if I was being like a funny Duddy, I'd be like helicopter come from and like what I learned was was it was it real? Where here? Like what's going on? Yeah. But don't think about it, don't worry about it. You don't need to know. Just go with the go with the flow, right? Just to sure about getting the Huey carrier. So I should say name Lindsey Farris start suffering from extreme head pain and they just happen to have a device that can scan inside of her brain on them.

And they do. And they discover that she has a chip and the chip is gonna has been activated and in 4 minutes time it'll deny it and it'll blow up her brain and God knows what else. But they put her in the back of the helicopter in the hope that they can stop it by using a defibrillator to show out the chip. Yeah. Which should theoretically kill her, but then she can react to life again. But it should make the the chip render it in it. That's what they're trying to do. Meanwhile, helicopter versus helicopter dogfight in a wind farm.

Very cool. Incredibly cool. Holy crap, one of those. That's one of those. It's one of those scenes that like kind of makes you a dummy because you watch it. Oh shit, are they going to crash? Oh my God, it makes you forget that, you know, no, they're not going to die in a fiery conflagration because there's like another two hours this film left. But it takes into the story. It's brilliant. It's just, it's really, really contrast this enough. Fucking cool. What what mission is really good for is that because of the entire team getting wiped out with the sort of mission 1 where always it's a bit like Game of Thrones.

Anyone could die in any moment. So when Monkey Cue, for instance, tumbles up the side of their cops and it's hanging on for dear life because she's holding onto some kind of briefcase or something, have to pull her back in again. There's a there's a version of that where she just gets dropped and dies. Another thing I like about this sequence is the attention to detail. There's a bit where a part of a wind farm falls off prompts into the ground and a lesser film maker would have had it just happen into the field, boom and make the noise and you know, stick to the ground here to give it a bit of extra kineticism and just to have a bit bit more vibes.

It happened to land amongst some sheep and the sheep go back and run away. I like that. Just didn't need to be there. It was fun, yeah. You see, you see that pissed off a lot of people from like reviews and stuff I've seen people are mad at that. Fuck off. I say what the fuck man and say you what? What a fucking opinion to have. I'm mad because of the sheep. Like there aren't sheep in Germany, like there aren't sheep in Berlin. You need to get on this movies level and this movies level is is fun.

Yeah, basically. Somehow using that that old Huey, some excellent Pilot and Declan languages to avoid one of the heat seeking missiles by firing into the side of a wind farm. And then they managed to evade the the helicopter by flying through the blades of a of one of the towers. And instead of just like pulling away the pursuing helicopter like just follows them into it and gets twatted by by a by a blade. The helicopter forgets it's a helicopter and forgets that they can just stop and go backwards and it's like bought the tickets, take the ride.

As they get away, they are waiting to charge up a defibrillator, which is taking like 30 seconds, but they make you wait those painful 30 seconds. As this is happening, like the charge on the head is clearly getting worse and worse and worse. And as they have 6 seconds left before they can use the panels on it, it donates. And we are given a horrible shot of like one eye kind of ruined, looking straight ahead. And the other eye for the force of the blast is looking away. And we see it like fucking five times and it's horrible.

Yeah, it's a really good effect though, really. Like because it gets gets by the the sensor because it's not gory, but it is unnatural and horrible. Yeah, audible, audible gasp from Emma when when we're watching it, it doesn't shy away from it. I think that's really cool. It's just, I mean, she goes, I'll even thank you or whatever. And then like a second later the thing pops in our brain and you've got the countdowns like 5 seconds or something left and it's like, man, that's a. Project would become a series where like Ethan can't let anybody die and they let him get away with that for ages.

Like they they give everyone plot armour around him so that that that works and he is like this unstoppable force. But here he is the same kind of powerless he was in the first film. And you seem like he acts it pretty well, I think. I think really goodness, this is like peak Tom being a crazy guy era as well. This is like a year after the the couch jumping on Oprah. He's married to Katie Holmes. I'm saying that he's a good performer and he hasn't changed, right. Then he goes back to his home. You see that he's visibly shaken up and he can't tell Julie about it because Julie doesn't know about his life.

So he just shrugs off as he's tired. And then we have the whole business which there was just. Too much traffic at work today, honey, I'm sorry. Yeah, the cars, they wouldn't stop. Someone someone hit the brake for for two seconds on the Interstate and the ripple effects were terrible, but it's. Wild. He's like, he's like broken. He's a visibly broken man. She's like, what's what's wrong, honey? And he's like park and ride.

If I could, if I could come so one of his arms is broken. He's covered in burn box. He's he's, he's lost like tutorials in a testicle and she's like honey. And he's like, there was a big fight at work today. Somebody said that commute aliens were a good idea. OK, so Ethan later learns that Lindsay mailed him a postcard before her capture and discovers a magnetic microdot under the stamp. IMF technician Benji Dunn, played by Simon Pegg, who who wants when he's asked about having a career in Hollywood, says what is not.

I'm going to end up being in Mission Impossible 3, is it? And here he is. But by the way, does he have like terminal nerd face or something? Because it always gets like, I mean, Star Trek again. I thought you were like referring to this time in his career because it's like like this is what someone Peg was like at the beginning. This is what we this is how we knew him. Like he's all thin and like an action movie star now. But like for most of us, like watching Spaced Big Train and like his small bit parts.

And I'm Alan Partridge. And then the day-to-day. No, sorry, Brassai. Brassai. Yeah. Like, this is what it was like. Yeah. Benji done recovers enough data from the laptops to determine that Davian will be in Vatican City to obtain a mysterious. It says here Biological hazard could name the rabbit's foot. That's retconned, by the way, later in the series. What they do in this sequence, though, is, is they just use, like, utter garbage words to try and explain away that what the rabbit's foot is. Basically say that it's the Mac Guffin and that's all you need to know.

Person watching movie, you don't actually need to know what it is or what it does. OK, well interesting. I had a professor at Oxford, Dr Wickham, hugely fast, enormous man, taught biomedicular kinetics and cellular dynamics and he used to try and scare us underclassmen by saying that the world was undoubtedly going to be eviscerated by technology, that it was inevitable that a compound be created that he calls the anti God, an accelerated mutator, an unstoppable, horrific destroyer of everything.

Parks and houses, restaurants, beaches, ice cream parlours. So whatever a rogue organised organisation is willing to spend this kind of money on a piece of mystery tech, I always assume it's the anti God end of the world, that sort of thing. Not that I have any idea though, that's just speculation. I expect you not to worry about it either. Audience at home. Yeah, Big Basil Expedition energy. So yeah, they do the whole, they do the whole thing now. They explain what it is, except they don't explain what it is, and they never explain what it is.

ChatGPT that's. What the bad guy is in the last two movies? Rory. That's not a joke. That's pretty much it. No, fuck sake. It's a large language model called the entity. Called the fucking hell. God damn. And it glows in Necron green when you put it in the USB drive. This is just the mad kind of escalation to get the franchises though, isn't it? Because like, I mean, like I said, the first Fast and Furious film was like, hey, so the street racers and the steel and DVD players, and now it's like, guys, you got to take those cars into space to stop the terrorists.

Yeah. I am drifting a tank across an Acula submarine on polar ice. Why? Because family. Ethan visits Julia at work, which was in a spontaneous marriage, which is wild. I get married by a HOTA, a hospital chaplain, at their wedding rings. By the way, he's wearing a little panda on a wedding ring and she's got a little like Daisy or something for hers. Very nice. Ethan plans an unofficial mission to capture Davian and it says here the team successfully infiltrates the Vatican and captures Davian. Obviously lots, lots have happened.

So let's get into it. Fun little plan. This is what I was saying earlier on. Like they don't explain how the heist is going to going to go down. Like one of the things I really enjoyed about the first Mission Impossible and you see again in later ones, I think, I think Ghost Protocol does one where they explain how the heist should go down and you see them going through all the steps so that when the heist doesn't go to plan and they're floundering and having to like think on their feet and do incredible stunts to to make it work.

We know how that deviated from what was was going to happen. I think the reason why this we don't get one of these on this on is because the heist pretty much goes to plan. So it's pretty good. I guess that's the reason why. But they don't explain what they're going to do either. They just kind of go we're going to go to the Vatican and there's loads of cameras and stuff. But what I do like about this sequence is, again, attention to detail. They do lots of little things that they didn't need to do.

So like we see it later in the movie and we see it here as well. You see Ethan on the scene like measuring the height of the walls. But we get, so I'll explain it. So Ethan and Declan are in a like that's not UPS, it's GGL or something like Korea Courier van. And they pretend that the van breaks down, blocking a thoroughfare. So they have a little smoke machine in the bonnet that emits smoke. And we got a funny sequence where. Just a big louder Italian argument. Yeah, Jonathan Rhys Myers and Tom Cruise are doing a big louder Italian argument with the, with the disticulations and the vocal tambour and everything.

And it's like, OK, like all that stuff, Bully. It's just like, OK, cool. Yeah, that's fine. Yeah, OK, because you're doing it in the language. I guess that's all right. And everyone's like, and all the cars are stopped behind them. They're all doing the same thing like doing that fuck you like OK and very fun. I'm I'm probably bad for doing that. So it buys enough time for for Tom Cruise. To we're going to send you to a cultural awareness training now. It's being Italian, a protected category. OK, Yeah, it probably is.

Ethan Hunt scales the wall, the exterior wall of the compound that is the Vatican. It's quite cool how they did this. So when they were filming it, they basically built a big wall. On one side of it is the big stately home that's meant to be like filling in for the Vatican. On the other side of it, they kind of redressed to be like an Italian St in Rome. And basically what they do is they kind of redress the same bit of wall going up and up and down. So it looks different each time they do it. So when he gets down on the wall on the other side, it's the it's the side he actually went up on the first side redressed.

Very, very cool. Anyway, he gets this wall by firing like some kind of grappling hoop thing a bit and runs up it. And then for no reason whatsoever, he lies flat on the wall, turns to the camera as a zooming crashes me into him, and goes Humpty Dumpty 7 the wall, which is just one of the greatest lines of any movie ever. Like the music built do do do do do. Humpty Dumpty sat in the wall. So it's fucking amazing. In the period of about 10 minutes, we've gone from his beloved prodigy dying right in front of him to him running up the wall of the Vatican, looking bang into the camera and then doing a verbal stem.

My only disappointment is that when they got out of the van, like neither of them had like big comedy moustaches. Like I really wanted them both to like, like Mario and Luigi. Like that would have been so much better. And like, the camera just like pads around to say the like, cab of the vans full of like, empty fucking pizza boxes. And this was like, no one's like Catholic, like Agon's and rosary beads hanging from the fucking rearview. America's It's Italy, baby. So I'm just imagine getting really annoyed at some like snapping pasta as they put it into the pan.

We're doing this thing again when we make up a guy then got mad about him. So Tom, Tom's on top of the wall, Humpty Dumpty's on top of the wall. He does a really cool thing here. So, So what he does is he has to, there's a, there's a camera nearby which he has to obscure so he can walk into the path of it. So he does. So he gets his little Game Boy camera out. That's so fucking cool. And takes a picture from the angle of the of the camera. Prints it off on his little Game Boy camera printer and then and then puts it in front of the camera and then rewires the camera up.

So it was like out for 30 seconds and the guy's like, oh, the camera's broken and then it comes back on again and it's doing the whole thing where it's looking at a still image. Very cool. On top of that, he's uses a little laser range Finder and like dangles it over the side of the wall so you can see exactly how high the wall is. So then he can set up in advance his little repelling line so that it stops before he hits the the bottom. So he can just fall off the wall. And we didn't need that that a little bit where he gets the laser and goes and then measures it.

And then you see the measurement like you could have. We could have assumed they did that in pre planning, but we didn't have to. But we but we seemed to it and it's cool. Yeah. So he falls off the side of the wall, does a little homage to the Langley heist where he kind of like does the fall down and does the thing where he's like a waves around over the ground and doesn't hit the ground. Very cool. Fun fact, they did a few takes of it and the rappelling wire went down a bit too slow. So they tried to gradually speed it up and they did one take where it went really, really fast by accident.

And Tom Cruise made contact with the ground and like his Dick off the ground. And then and everyone was like, Oh my God, Tom Cruise hit his Dick on the ground. Oh my God. And then Tom was like really, really happy about like, oh, that was so much fun. That was so cool. I'm going to do it again. It's the fastest anyone's ever fucked the ground before and lived.

Oh my God. Then he then he sends his little clothes back up the repel line again. All of that takes his, takes his overalls off and sends the overalls up on the line again. Yeah. And then the next thing we see is him like, dressed like a cassock and everything, like an old, like, like a priest need a little hat and everything on. It's like you're the least convincing priest I've ever seen. Yeah, that's, and that's what he wanted to do with his life. He was a seminary student when he was a young lad.

He was headed, he was. He was headed for holy orders before he decided Actor Max. It's wild, isn't it? Yeah. God, imagine the world we would have had. Imagine taking confession or giving confession to to Tom Cruise. You'd just be so enthusiastic about us. You'd love me. It's like forgive your Father for our sin, and I love that about you, you know? You sinned, you know. I've done that as well. Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. Yes. So he's smuggling into the the area I guess now having done a costume change.

Meanwhile, Declan drives the van to like a public part of the Vatican and parks it randomly somewhere that you definitely can't park a van. He does a costume change into CVS to be like a journalist or tourists with a camera. Something like that. Yeah, Yeah, I'm. Trying to remember what, like Declan's function is. So I was thinking about this. Imagine that you could make, like a short film about a heist going on, but it only follows the point of view of, like, one person. And that one person has such, like, a nugatory job in it that they're they're sat there having a conversation about completely different stuff.

And then they do that one little bit and they go back to having a conversation. Yeah. That's why that's why I imagined because there's a whole bit here. We'll get into it. But like, there's a whole bit where Declan's on his own in the Vatican, just like, yeah, lowering a body down like a tower. Like there's a huge amount of slapstick potential there that that was not was not plumped. Luther is also hacking his way into into the the Vatican underwater. Isn't he? Yeah, he's yeah. He's in a school bag here and he's swimming through the Vatican sewers.

Yeah. I love this. Like yeah, because they've all just picked 1 normal way to get in, but yeah, fine. So. So he's underground and he's like setting up explosives to like get away from the sewer into the main Vatican building, I guess that they're going into. Is it like Saint Peters Basilica or something mental like that? Saint Peters Yeah, yeah, I'm really glad that the Irish guy isn't the demolitions guy in this. He's not the explosive guy. Because it boils my piss, It really does. I mean going back to fucking Sheamus who a car bomb in the fucking Harry Potter films would say you're a story arc is to be Irish a bit dumb accidentally blow shit upset things on fire and the big final final her all the film blow a bridge up positive positive representation for the sons of Ireland.

JK roller man, do you remember when she was asked on Twitter if there were any Jewish Wizards and she just like responded? But it shouldn't even say like hi, thanks for asking. Oh, that's an interesting question. She just went like fucking something Goldstein Jewish was that was it? And it's like, what the fuck? What the fuck, man? So I'm just Maggie Q, right. So, Maggie. Rules up in the Lambo baby. Yeah, Maggie Q, Rules of the Lambo and I'll put I'll put the video into the video in the pod here.

So Maggie Q couldn't drive and I don't know what her agent told Paula Wagner when she was cast because she says she couldn't drive. And I went from not driving last week to this week driving a Lambo on the making of. And what happened was she said that she was wearing, and I don't know why she had to do this, but she was wearing like high heels obviously for like her scenes, but they've got her in the high heels, which is driving the car as well. And she says. That the because there was a script passed by Quentin Tarantino.

Oh. God, don't talk to me. I watched that fucking scene from Crimson Tide the other day where they talk about the silver surf and I got angry all over again. So, yeah, Maggie Q, she was driving, she's parking up this land though in in her high heels that the the high heel itself got stuck on the accelerator and she couldn't, she got like her foot got stuck and she couldn't move it. So she's driving this like $350,000 car and just like bumps it into a bunch of other cars on her first day on set of like her first day filming.

Incredible. Yeah. Brilliant. I love everything about that. Story love. I love that story. Anyway, good. Good enough. Left gassing at Monkey Q, right. Bosh, Maxon. Bosh, Maxon. Right. OK, cool. So she's there. She's in this knockout dress, head turning. And it does. It turns people's heads. Yeah, did you notice that one extra checking her out? Yeah, he's like. Tom Edwards. His eyes aren't painted. On. Her role in this is Owen Davian has come to meet a buyer and she does the classic spy movie thing of like walk up to them and spilling a drink all over him.

Classic hitman stuff as to to get him to go to a bathroom. Perfect. Love it. It works like a treat. And what is happening concurrently is your boy, your boy. Ethan Hunt has met up with Luther. Luther's brought his 3D printer along. Yeah. And has 3D printed a perfect Philip Seymour Hoffman mask. Yeah, because. The because the photos that Maggie Q's been grabbing. That's right, yeah. And so they make this, this Philip Seymour Hoffman disguise for for Ethan Hunt to wear. He's completely changed into it.

The only thing that he hasn't got squared away yet is the voice. There's a little AI voice modular thing that has to hear. The the the the person's voice say a specific set of phrases that presumably capture every vocal intonation required. Yeah, it's like a specific poem that captures all the different, like phonemes and stuff like that. Exactly. Yeah. So that's the only thing they're waiting on. But Owen Davian goes to the bathroom in on his own, and lurking behind a little grate on the floor, which was not caught by his security, is a a perfect Owen Davian clone in the form of Ethan Hunt.

Hunts knocks out. Did we get some of the ground? And then he forces them to read that little, that little script for the voice modulator to take. Meanwhile, the security is coming very shortly. So they need to get rid of the body. And there's a whole thing where I think it's. A deck was holding the door kind of kind of no downs behind the door. Security guards got a door open and because the AI systems still trying like kind of work out how he speaks like he's been told in in in Asia stickle they're like, oh, you've got another 10 seconds, 20 seconds, whatever.

So rather than Tom Cruise trying to speak, he's just it's. Tough ages. Yeah. Yeah. And then eventually he's like, what do you want? Go away. Yeah, leave me alone. Then like, he's out, isn't he? Like he's out of the bathroom and yeah, he goes up to him and she's like, oh man, I'm sorry, I got why on your shirt. Want to fuck about it? Yeah, exactly. So he's So what, what, what what they've done is they've stolen Owen Davian's briefcase, which which was unattended in the bathroom. So he's taken that and he's posing as Owen Davian.

He leaves the bathroom is propositioned by by Mikey Q He says through security, I'll go off with her. You follow in the car. So he gets in the Lambo. Lambo drives away, parks over a sewer grate. They open the bottom of the car and escape through the sewer grate, having handed off like the briefcase to to stickle and all that. And then once they're underground, they deny at the car, blowing up the car and everyone thinks that Owen Davian's dead and killed by car bomb. And then we got a really cool like, just like smash cut to them, like rounding a corner on a speedboat, like flinging, flinging, flinging up the up the tiger, just like looking cool as fuck.

I just wanted like a mission complete like overlaid on that point and like like a score count. I just like just it goes up like 10,000 or something and it's like. SS rank. SS rank perfect run and all like the twitch comments. Go like WW suit. Only Silent Assassin car deloaded mill. Cameras detected Mill. Yeah, walls sat on one. One Humpty Dumpty's one. Yeah. You've unlocked the rubber duck. Explosive rubber duck, Yeah. You've unlocked the Humpty Dumpty skin. You've unlocked the the egg decoy. You just, you just fucking.

It's fucking hit manning around in the background dressed like Humpty Dumpty. That would be that was right. OK, If this was a little, that would be like the costume that you can find that makes the level stupidly hard because each ship, each ship my level has a bone costume you can find that makes it super hard. Like there's the fucking like a man. There's like the suit of armour in Sapienza. The plate, It's a plague Dr Sorry, there's a plague Dr one and there's so many. Yeah, there's like a samurai one in Hokkaido.

Yeah, OK, yeah, cool. That would be the giant big egg Man 1 would be the one for this, the vacuum. So cool. Oh, by the way, before we leave the Vatican, has anyone played Engineer Jones? And the Great Circle is basically a Vatican infiltration simulator. The whole the whole first field of the game, as you like in the Vatican, dressed as a priest, finding relics and bombing around and punching, punching Nazis. It's great. I love, I love like Maggie Q's recalcitrance to blow up such an attractive car as well.

I would have been kind of in the same boat at that point. It's like they should have infiltrated in a beat ass Fiat 500. I can just say there's a lot in this movie. There's a lot of there's a lot of very quick and loose handling of explosives. They are. Because that's because they haven't got an Irish guy running, that's why. They are very good. They are lobbing those things all over the place. They are just, yeah. Yeah. Anyway, cool. So after landing, Ethan learns that Lindsay's microdot is a warning about Davian and IMF Director Theodore Brussel, which is Laurence Fishburne.

They are in a convoy taking them across the Chesapeake Bay Bridge. So they're back in, I think, Virginia. I get the impression that the IMF headquarters is in Langley, Virginia, but they just don't say it. And the convoy, which has obviously the captured Davian in it, is ambushed by mercenaries who extract Davian. This is a mental sequence. So when they were filming it, they, they built a section of bridge in like California and shot it there. And they only used like a few location shots to go establish the the water and everything, but the rest of it is all from the flat.

So yeah, a helicopter comes and there's also a Reaper drone or put a drone or some kind of cool drone flying around firing missiles at them. 22,000 and six So early on the on the drone boom. Yeah, I mean it's got a CGI then afterburner, so like that. So they're not quite sure how drones work at this point because those ones are cause propeller driven, but. But yeah, the one big stunt from this movie that people talk about is the rocket that that chases Ethan and blows up a car. And then the blast from the the car knocks Ethan into the air sideways, smashing into a car.

That's that's the cool, that's the cool shot. And it was like the big the big stunt they talked about at the time for this one. Looking back, compared to the other Mission movies, this seems kind of quaint. Yeah, but it's. But it's still a perfectly really good stunt, I think. I think a stunt that any stuntman would be happy to have on the resume, yeah, is a really cool looking stunt and he sells it really well. Yeah, like I mean the thought I had was, yeah, this is this is quite mild as opposed to the to the stunts you see in later films.

I mean, the fact that the fact that we're using sort of behind the scenes work for one of the big stunts for I think the second or third last film as a trailer, just like behind the scenes footage of that was being shown before films at the cinema. Oh, are you talking about the dead reckoning bike? Jump off the off the Cliff. Yes, I am. I am. Yeah, yeah. And like when you say how like outlandish and how crazy and. And there was, there was one with the Burj Al Khalifa at one point in one of the films, I think.

And that's. That's the next one after this goes. Right, right. So that's when it goes. Yeah, since this one does look like looks a bit mild compared to what we're doing now, but a really cool scene. Really excited. Really, this is this is one of the runniest films he's done. I think he probably runs more than he walks in this film. Right. So on the subject of stunts, then we'll, we'll, I mean, we're going to come back to this. So in every movie since there's a, there's a tentpole stunt that is like talked about in the press up to the beginning of it.

The next one is the Burj Khalifa. And after that is the clinging to the side of the A400 as it takes off. The next one to that is the bike. No, sorry, it's Fallout. So it's it's bungee jumping off a helicopter. And the one after that is the bicycle jump that you talked about just then. And then what we got for the final one. It's a combination of the submarine thing that happens, which is really cool, and then the big, the big biplane chase that happens. The reason I list all those is because in each one of those movies, it gets progressively to the point where the stunt overtakes the film.

Yeah. In the Burj Khalifa sequence, it makes sense for what they're doing. It's part of the heist and it's good character stuff happens and plots of not plot stuff, but like stuff that makes this stuff interesting happens and it's it's really good and it's in the middle of the movie and it's not the big climax. And then they crack on with other shit after it. And there's also over a good stunts in the movie. Each of these films has a good stunts in them. The A400 and the next one happens in the cold open.

Then the Fallout 1 happens at the climax and then after that they become like parts of the climax and then they go on for ages. And then the focus drifts away from the storytelling of the action and turns into look at the stunt we're doing. Can you believe we're really doing this? And it kind of becomes a bit distracting to A to a certain extent, to the point where what you sign up for when you kind of come to a movie theatre to watch a film is to be taken away and right along with a story. And then what ends up happening and this is that you end up kind of going, well, it's half of that.

And it's and it's half like me now watching like just like a stunt like you would on TV, like like watching Evel Knievel jump a bunch of buses. It's like it's not part of the story. This is separate to the story. It's a bit like, but when they did the Bond movies and like in living that die, they do the the the jump over the river as the car somersaults and it's like, yeah, OK, I get it. But that's not really part of the movie anymore. This isn't part of the chase scene. It's just like a stunt he's done in the middle of the chase scene.

It's overdone, it's over worked, it's over Ross. And while it's cool, it also kind of makes you feel a little bit cheated, I guess, because like, the films built around this rather than built around the film, you know? Yeah, that definitely was an issue as we get to the ends where the plotting of the films becomes very much like a secondary to like, how can we get from distance sequence to distance sequence to distance? And that wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't in this genre of film where plot is actually really important for to keep the wheels on.

Yeah, like a spy from that hasn't got a problem that makes sense or is like interesting and it's just nugatory. Like, yeah, it's bad. I talked about on the first one we did Mission Impossible one. But like in from this point on, you're going to get increasingly films where all the plotters live to you like small simply lit rooms so they can change as they need it to work around the stun sequences. Long story short, Owen David is recaptured by his mercenaries and all the. We've missed our really cool bit.

We missed our really cool. Bit on the flight home. On the flight home, fuck me, right? Take it away. So the so they're interrogating them and this is when this is when you start to really see just the quality in Philip Seymour Hoffman's acting, the menace that you abused this character. The crux of it being in the whole the whole thing is obviously he's not going to get he's not going to get Ethan to identify himself to him. So he gets him so fucking pissed off that he almost arbitrarily executes him by dropping him out of a plane just so he can hear Luther shout his name to stop him.

And that's genius, he is. He is a great foil for Ethan Hunt. Because which of these guys is more fearless? And in the end, Ethan shows the most fear for his wife, right? This is a classic thing, isn't it? Like what's. Yeah, he's he shows no concern for his own physical well-being and throws himself into all these situations. But yeah, ultimately the the ultimate bit of leverage is that you have a wife and family. Exactly. Yeah. And it's just fucking really cool just seeing them being held on just by like cable ties.

That's zip ties to our American cousins. It's like he better have not got those from B&M bargains, because I do not trust those things. But no, yeah, it was incredible. And just seeing him getting mentally outmanoeuvred because Ethan Hunt is a good guy who gets a lot of things right a lot of the time. And to see him get pulled out of his as the moral construct by which he lives his life and his hand forced into doing something arguably evil. That's not even arguably evil. It's like the fucking it's like the fucking arbitrary execution of a guy just because he's threatening people around you, you know, I mean, he's been picked up by guys from a three letter agency who got this evolved of the fuck up.

He's been thrown onto a plane and then he's been taken back America. So it absolutely is rendition, right? So this guy bumps into her in the in the hallway and says, like, you know, can you find, find this patient? And she's like, absolutely not, but we're going to go anyway. What's her name? And he sticks a little sticker on her. And the sticker knocks her out. It's, it's some kind of sedative. He puts in a body bag and tries to take her to the hospital. As Ethan is rushing around looking for her, he literally walks past her and the guy and doesn't spot it, which is a brilliant bit of visual drive, really.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that was great. Very good. And then he gets the phone call in the parking lot that Julie has been taken and he has 40 hours to find the rabbits foot. And just as that happens, a bunch of blacks and hands circle around him. And out of it steps a bunch of IMF agents led by on Timothy Omundson, who plays Detective Lassie. And it's like, and he's like, we've got to take you in, man. And he tries to get away, but they, they shouldn't. They tease him and they and they bring him back to IMFHQ where he gets grilled at the minute.

He thinks that that Brussel is the crooked Mai who he he and Brussel are loggerheads and he's what's he restrains to a Gurney and yeah, like and muzzled. The restraint would go and either put a gooning mask on him and then they had like the drag of it, like the good cave to it there. And it's like as as I said to Emma, and this upset her against everything after the seed is just his hallucinations as he goods himself to a brainless degree, like like like fucking what's his name Brussels, like you're going to pull that shit smooth off.

You're going to goon until you're brainless. This is how we're going to break you. It's. Going to be like a blind couple of thumb. You're going to good so bad you won't know one ways up one ways down, right? Wrong. You'll only know the goon. That's awful. That's awful. 1 Fishman 1 Fishman When you're here, going to try not to come.

Lawrence Lawrence Fishman's like Good boys don't bust. Good boys don't bust. Man. That's a little. Point for us.

I'm so sorry. So Billy Crud appears, who was of course become Doctor Manhattan in Watchmen. And he says Ethan, try not to come. No, Ethan. Ethan, do you want to see how deep the rabbit hole goes? I'm so disappointed in you, Ethan. I'm so disappointed that you could do this. You've, you've been a traitor. That he does some lip, mouths some words to Ethan and gives him a tool for which to free himself and. To go to win Shanghai. That's right. And they're like, take him away. Take. Him away, boys. Take him from me and they and then we have a cool, cool elevator fight, which is very good.

Yeah, boy, Tom Cruise gets free and he has a unsanctioned mission that he takes as a Shanghai with with the gang to recover the rabbit's foot. So there's a very cool sequence here where this is another cool stunt which they don't do for real, for real, but it's it's good enough. So it's what I'm talking about is the how they're going to infiltrate the skyscraper at which the rabbit's foot is held. And the way they tend to do it is from a neighbouring skyscraper. They're going to use a fulcrum to swing and and land on top of the other skyscraper and then try not to fall off it because the roof of it is a big slant.

Meanwhile, they're going to distract the guards. This bit doesn't really work for me. They're going to distract the guards enough so that when he does do that mission that that fall onto the you can kill them easier. I don't know. And it's like, this is wild to me because they decide to distract them using a baseball pitching machine. Where do they get that from? Do they know they're going to do that before they got there? Like if he if he stood in the building looking at it and going I know I'm going to do and so it's drawing on the window.

I'm going to do a fulcrum doing the measurements and stuff. Then surely he knew what's the did he plan all that on the fly when he got there? Do they have no idea what they're going to do when he arrives? They're just going to scoop it out. Are they scooping it out and then an hour's time they're going to go back and do it. Is are they finding the all like baseball pitching machine shop to do this from? Is there is there a Sports Direct in the fucking bottom floor of the one they're in? Out out of all the things on the go.

Keep one in in the boot of my car at all times. Actually, you don't. I will now. Because whenever I get tailgated I just swing open the rear. Don't go fuck you. Oh. Man, I want that. I want a fucking tail gun I'm on when someone's like Bootlin is on the a 19, I want to just like press a button, actually open. So just like a little guy with like a fucking baseball pitching machine just gives him six and out. That'd be fantastic. But it's like, yeah, where one where the hell of the finding it 2 they make a big thing.

All these armed guards, the Rex, the Rex People's Liberation Army. So yeah, yeah, for these guys are going to escalate the lethal force straight away when something gets thrown at them, be it a fucking baseball or whatever, you know, this is this is fucking Shanghai, man. They aren't going to mess around. That's all they they didn't know that was a baseball, but it was flinging its way across towards them. It could be anything. Yeah. Oh, hang around to find out. So you just the jump, just the big swinging fulcrum thing, which looks really good.

It looks it looks really good on the thumb. And what they did in real life is they have a really they had a really high platform in a sound stage and green screened all around it. So you really did like run like 30 feet and like jump and fall quite a long way on on on a line. They just CGI did in Shanghai after. But yeah, it looks really, really good. So he does that very cool. And you have like Luther, like he made it. I knew we'd make it very fun. And then you have the whole bollocks of him, like infiltrate in the building.

We don't see it. We see like everyone else reacting to it. And then he just says overcomes, I've got the rabbits fun. Like, what the fuck? There's definitely a sequence that we should have seen. I was like, hang on, did I miss something there? And I went back and was like, I don't think it is. Yeah, I thought it was just to go, we had cut of it or something, but no. It's yeah, but no. So he just said. He just says he's got it. I guess him getting it from the skyscraper would have looked an awful lot like getting the Mergafen from the end of Mission Impossible 2.

That was my thing and yeah. I've conflated them. Yeah, but he just has it. Yeah. There's a whole phone bit where he has to escape, though, and he's too low for the base jump. And he's parachute opens and he gets flung back into a building. And there's a very funny sequence where like a guy, security guard comes in and sees him and then he gets pulled out by the building and by the billowing parachute at the exact same moment. A bit of paper like hits and square in the face as well. That's a very, very funny, very, very good shot.

Well, he ends up on the ground by falling into the Rose and then the parachute getting caught on a street light or something. So he's dangling. He's dangling above traffic. Yeah, which is cool. And then he falls on the ground and he gets separated from the the rabbit's foot. And we finally see it as well. It's like a biohazard container, which if anything, makes it make less sense to me. Like, what was it? Is it a virus? Is it a fucking? We had a virus in the last one. It can't be a virus again, surely.

What is it? Who knows? So yeah, that happens and there's a bit of a bit of a car chasing kind of thing. And then eventually they they get away and they have the rabbit's foot and. Then Land Rover involved, right? There's a Land Rover on that car chase, am I right? I think so, yeah. I think there's building security when A1 aren't they? Yeah, Sonya, is that a Land Rover? Hang on, how did I not club that? It's not like in green and white slunge of the colours though. Yeah, it's not good old school.

He's looking nice defender. Yeah, so Ethan, this is what it says in the summary. Ethan obtains the rabbit foot and delivers it to Davian, who tranquillizes him and implants a micro explosive similar to the one that killed Lindsay in his head. So we've kind of caught up with the start of the film. So he wakes up, he's in, he's bolted to the chair. Davian is not happy about the rabbit's foot. I don't understand this because I think that is Roberts foot. I think he's just fucking with him which is weird.

This. Is one of the thing. This is one of the things a lot of people really pissed off about JJ Abrams quote unquote mystery box storytelling techniques and stuff. That's like I didn't piss me off pregnancy. Why people might have found it a little bit infuriating. The whole what is rabbit's foot kind of thing that's saying what is this not it? I wonder if there was some drastic cuts done between this whole anti guard thing and I was asked to biohus and it's like I wonder if there was more exposition than that that was cut out to make things more kind of like teasing and make things more engaging I guess I mean.

Owen Davian shoots who Ethan believes to be Julia, but it's not. And this is something that pisses me off actually, is that somehow Owen Davian also has the mass technology. It has made a mask of Michelle Monaghan and put it onto his former head of security, who he's just doomed. The former head of security been the translator from the Vatican. Sequence allowed. Yeah, he let him down. Exactly. I mean, the movie was great. This, this, this all works really well for me as a action sequence. It doesn't make any sense to me as to what Owen Davian's doing and why.

Like he's got the rabbit's foot. Should just go on his merry way, right? Yeah, but I guess he's vindictive over the whole playing thing, but he's. But he doesn't want to say it. He just wants to confound him. Give me the rabbit's foot. I've given you the rabbit's foot. Give me the rabbit's foot. I'll kill this woman. He's got the rabbit's foot. I'm going to kill her then to make any sense. Anyway, Ethan has a big long chat with I think it's Benji to find out where where Julie is. And it turns out they're like mile away from each other and he has to just run across Shanghai to find her.

Then it's just the great kind of him, him directing him as he runs kind of scene. Yeah, classic. And you'll hang a lampshade on this kind of thing later on that the same scene again kind of thing in Dead Reckoning. But because the entity has taken over the comms, it's it's like it's like a bad sat NAV. It's like turn left, turn right. No, Ethan, you gotta go left. If no, hang on. You gotta go, turn around, go behind you. And it's like the voice is taking over. It's just leading on a merry chase.

Very, very funny. Yes. So we have that. So we have him running and we see like, what are the great sequences of Tom Cruise sprinting? Yeah, it's the final, final day of shooting the movie. So the final scene that that that Tom Cruise shot for this film is that really long run that he does along the Riverside. Yeah, and all those extras, they're not real extras. They're just people who happen to live in that village. So they were getting like I herded like cats by the production. So they had like a Chinese speaking assistant director for for the Shanghai sequences.

It was a Scottish guy for the rest of the movie. But for the Chinese stuff, they've got a Chinese local there and she's just talking to the normal people saying like, don't look anything, don't look at them, Just don't look at them. I like just go out your day. Like, no, you normally would. I think this is where some of the stories have come up online of like of like Tom Cruise is like no one's had to look at Tom Cruise on set. And it's like what they are. It's just like if you're an extra scene, you should be looking at the fucking spy who's there because it's really obvious if it was, if everyone, if everyone at the park is looking at Tom Cruise, you know.

But anyway, yes, we have that, which is really, really cool. There's a fantastic video online that that analysis. Tom Cruise is running the form and he has really good form and he's really nimble getting over these rooftops and stuff and getting down to St level and then running across this way. And you've got to remember he's like wearing dress shoots when he does it as well. So as a sprinter, he has generally really good form and you'll see like his posture is really good. Yeah, sorry. So yeah, I got, I got really into this when I got really into running like 3 years ago.

And I, and I watched this video and I'm going to, I'm going to link to it in the show. It's fascinating video about how good Tom Cruise's running form is, anyway. We do put a lot of special interests into this podcast. Don't. We we finally get the reveal that Musgrave, IE Billy Crudup, is actually the bad guy. He's the one who I think peels off the mask of the the head of security and everything. Yeah. He's like, Julia's alive even because of me. Julia's still alive. Davian want to kill you both, but I convinced him otherwise.

Julie hasn't seen me. She doesn't know anything. She's clean and she'll get to go on with her life as long as you tell me about Lindsay's message. That's why I'm here. Did Lindsay know about me and Davian? Is that why she sent the message to you? Did she read it? Did anyone else see it? And all that kind of stuff goes off goes off for one. So he's he's a shit. And there's a fun bit where he like goes into this building as a bunch of old fellas all like played more Hong or something. And they kind of just like points like go through that door.

Yeah. We don't. We don't want any troubles. And so he does, and he finds her. And just just as he finds her, Owen and Davian appears. And as that happens, he gets like a obviously a blinding headache. And Davian's like, I've activated the chip in your head. I love. The way you love us, that lineman just like the. The chip in your head. It's it's like the delivery is incredible. It's like it's, it's a matter of fact, Yeah. It's still brimming with absolute menace. Yeah, that's what it is. I've activated the charger in the head.

He tosses the triggers to the ground. You have maybe 4 minutes left. Ethan is an excruciating pain. Julia breathing heavily, terrified, perplexed as Davian circles Ethan and kicks him in the face. I told you she'd call your name and she's and Julia's like, stop it, don't Ethan. And then have a fight. It's a good fight. It's a really good fight. It's a punchy. It's really, it's weighty. Tom Cruise is really good at doing fight scenes and punching and stuff when he's in a compromised state, and we saw that in Minority Report when he's like fumbling around blind and stuff, and he's really good at here.

One move in the fight choreography makes me laugh every time I see it though. Which is when he's because he's keeps driving his temples because his head hurts and he hits Damien twice by twatting with each of his elbow. Strikes was so silly, I loved it. So silly but very fun. Very good. Also, the way he dispatches Damien Davian is just ridiculous. So they tumbled into the street, and it just so happens that, like, a friendly assassin truck happens to be flying around. So he holds him up and he gets his, like, head smashed by a truck.

Yeah, just like. Fucking how convenient. You know what I mean? You don't even see the body because you know, that's big. Be like blow and smooth off, right? I mean, yeah. I mean, yeah. It's amazing there's not more blood on Ethan Wild. Yeah, it's pretty bad. Bit of an actually climax, I think for for this, like for this brilliant villain. We've had a tremendous villain, really, really good. And then he just kind of gets like taken up by like a fucking on the other hand, kind of nice, kind of poetic.

You know, you can be the most powerful guy in the world, but there's no account thing for a driver in Shanghai. Yeah, I mean, he's gotten taken up with traffic. As well erotic because talk is cover stories, being a traffic guy. Exactly. Yeah, bang. You loaded the traffic and has killed his opponent. I love it, I love it. Department for Transport for the Wind. We've dug in something really deep here guys. I wonder if any other podcasts have mentioned this. You know, that's the ripple effect, the traffic taking them out.

Smooth off man. That's it. Two hours ago, somewhere halfway like 3 miles up the road, someone pumped on their brakes for two seconds. Yeah, and now when Davian's been decapitated. Yeah, you see man. Ethan gets back into the building. No one follows him, by the way. No one wants to know why he was fighting with that man who just died, which is really funny. I. Just want to quickly circle back for a second. If I was a random Chinese guy in a Chinese town going about my business and two random white dudes I haven't seen before have a fucking Barney in the street, then one of them gets killed by a truck, I too am going about my business and not asking too many questions.

Right, cool. Then he basically gets himself onto the deck, doesn't he? Fills his mouth with tongue presses, tells Julia that he loves her, and then to flip the switch, very short, down, off on, and then back off again. Very, very important for the off, which knocks him out and obviously puts him into cardiac arrest. And then what we have is Julia flips the switch. A hot stopping current electricity courses through Ethan. His whole body tenses. Julia flips the switch off. Ethan falls dead to the ground.

Suddenly bullets ricochet all around Julia. The pursuing guards have found them in the clinic. She does a very cool thing where she one guy comes in, starts clattering her out. The place she hides behind the wall sees his reflection in like a refrigerator or something and then shoots him. And then as she turns around, Musgrave has entered the room and she puts like 9 rounds. She puts, she uses all 15 in killing the first guy, changes the mag and then she uses like 9 rounds on the next guy who's Musgrave.

And then just and then she like uses CPR on Ethan, who he wakes up, bolts upright, picks up the gun and points it at the the dead body of Musgrave. And it's like you do you do this. It was you cool. It was you. It was you. And then it has them walking outside like nothing's wrong at all. And Ethan's there, Robert's foot in one hand, the girl in the other, strolling down the down the road. And she was like, I was just thinking, maybe you might want to tell me why we're in China. And he's like, I know.

And she's like, I work for an agency called IMF and she's like, what does that stand for? And he goes impossible mission force. And she's like, shut up, fuck off. Fuck off mud the lies lengths men will go to to get a woman. Men would rather join the IMF and go to therapy. Yeah. And then we get the final scene, which is like, everything's all toasty and warm. They they're back at the IMF in Langley. Was fish bones like, hey, aren't you glad I'm not the bad guy? The White House has been calling about a job they want you to do.

And he's like, do you want to know about it? And he's like, I want to go on my honeymoon. He's like, OK, off you go, you crazy kids. Meanwhile, Judy is like talking to all his friends like Benji and and Luther. And they're probably saying like the most heinous shit about Ethan and she's laughing like that. This is this is very military coded like probably they're probably like telling her like the most horrific stories, but the things he's done while they been on OPS and all these various European destinations.

The time when they went to four floors with them. Yeah, yeah, Gets gets pretty lonely in those OPS room vans.

I once watched. I once watched Ethan take a shit into a bucket because he didn't want to break his cover. Like, there's that kind of shit, isn't it? And then finally, oh, there's an extra scene that we didn't see. So in the in the movie, it ends with them walking towards the camera down the corridor in slow in slow motion, music taking over. And then it fades to black and it's the end of the film. Luther, they're going on their honeymoon. IMF erupts into applause in cheers. We watch from a distance.

Ethan and Julia walk off. We fade to white, white as blank as a page. The quiet sound of wind, then 3 or 4 shushing and then two tiny specks appear, slowly dropping from top of frame and you realise this is a massive long shot of pristine snow, a steep mountain and those specks of figures. We are exterior Mountain Day. It's Ethan and Julia Heli boarding. Long lens shots catch them as they cut through the snow like they're flying. An exhilarating ride, just the two of them against the mountain, against the world's husband and wife.

No more secrets. And our final song begins, Driving pounds, lifting our spirits, and it soars as we the end. Everybody on the bus stands up and claps. Claps. Wow, that's amazing. Fucking God. We've seen enough, we don't need to see the heli boarding. Wow, such a frillway line about heli boarding at the very beginning of the film as well. You're not going to remember that he's watching? Like what the fuck are you doing? He likes his holiday as though, doesn't he? Like he? Yeah, he gets a lot of annual leave for this job, you know.

Oh yeah, he's he's not hanging out for to use his Ala. He's yeah, he's he's all over the place. The start of Mission 2, he's like just free climbing up a mountain. It's like, dude, when you like, well, the amount of excitement you get in your day-to-day job when you want to just like, I don't know, get like a fucking canal boat or something. Yeah, if I was doing, I was doing this kind of shit, I would not be doing anything in the slightest exciting for my holiday. I would disappear somewhere very quiet and and just not.

Go to the Winchester and wait for all this to blow over. Exactly.

Is the last thing you should be concerned about, Ethan. So we're back now for some categories about this most excellent films, starting off as we've done before casting. You can't really kind of fuck with Tom Cruise's career if we want to talk about films and stuff. But I do find it interesting to the reason Jeremy Renner was cast in the next film is because some people were sort of trying to soft prepare for him to take over, weren't they? They were kind of soft preparing for that, I think so. I've heard discourse about it, yeah.

Trying to make him the newborn particulars, they tried to make him the new mission thing. Everyone tried to make Jeremy Renner a thing for a while. Yeah, stop trying to make Jeremy Runner happen. It's not going to happen. He was really good in Hawkeye, he was good. Yeah, yeah. But yeah, like the the really gave it a go because he was in the Born Legacy, Bourne Legacy, Bourne Legacy. That's right. Tony Gilroy is The Bourne Legacy. Hey, yeah, excellent. It would have been interesting to see how how the franchise had gone if you had taken over.

I don't think would have had the same like insane level of stunts and stuff because because he's not like nobody's as indestructible as Tom Cruise, right? The films would have gone a very different direction, I think, much, much like a different direction that probably would have gone if our friend from Smoking Aces. I've got the director's job. Yeah, so was smoking a business. Probably wouldn't have happened. Yeah, like smoking. This has not already come out by that point. No come it comes. Well, it came out in 2006.

It came out instead of. It's the project he worked on. That's right, yeah. Because he, he spent like 15 months developing this, didn't he? And then obviously that didn't happen. I heard it was going to be like darker, grittier and more like Shades of Grey and a bit more kind of harsher on the US government kind of thing, ah. This is a good point to talk about this, actually. Yeah, there's a whole bunch of different characters. So basically a completely different story on this. So Sandoval Newton was approached to to reprise her character from MI 2 and she she declined, which I think was probably why she was spent time with her family.

She had a young family. They introduced some new characters. One was going to be played by Carrie Anne Moss, as we would have had we've had Morpheus and Trinity in this movie. That'd been cool. But she she pulled out as as part of the delays. Scarlett Johansson was going to be in this film as well, but couldn't, couldn't commit to it. And instead of Philip Seymour Hoffman as Owen Davian, it was initially cast as a Kenneth Branner, which would have been a very different vibe, I think for the character.

Maybe still good, but I think we've, I think we've seen what he would have done. We're going to talk about it very soon, actually, in Shutter Recruit. Yeah, I think that's probably where we're going to find the kind of Brunner villain that would have been most like the one he would have done here. Yeah. Or, or Tenets. Did you watch Tenet? I never did, but I'm aware both of them have him using a silly Russian accent. So indeed, the Joe Carnahan version of Mission Impossible would have been mental, I think.

Yeah, I, I don't, I don't think Tom Cruise would have vibe with it. In fact, obviously creative differences indicate that he didn't vibe with it. Yeah. So yeah, I mean. You know me, man. I'll, I'll fight in the street with my shirt off for smoking aces and, and probably will do one day. But I think Joe Conahan would have kind of killed the franchise if he'd if he'd if he'd worked on it. If it had been like his dialogue and stuff as well that you put into it, I just don't see that working. All those all the all that constant joking and banter and in the Can you imagine a scene where like Ethan Hunt is manipulating the draw of a dead henchman and making him talk to him?

Okay, going on from casting to trivia, the bunch of a trivia that I had down here. We touched on the whole thing with a Comedy Central South Park the the trapped in the closet episode when Tom Cruise threatened to cancel allegedly allegedly were doing a lot of heavy lifting for everyone's protection here allegedly threatened to cancel publicity if the film of comedy Cent were rebroadcasted. That trapped in the closet episode, the one that mocked him for his Scientology and really gave him the business and indeed it was.

It was actually taken off the air. Here's a thing on the subject of traps in the closet. Have you, Sonia, seen Trapped in the Closet, the R Kelly R&B opera? No. So it's not, it's real and it's very, very long. And I was watching a clip of it the other day. She said, don't ask me how. So yeah. So I was watching a clip of the day and Michael K Williams is in it and I completely brain dumped that. So that's that's Omar in The Wire. It is an unhinged film, yeah. And that's the same year as the Wire came out.

It's mental, right? It's nuts. Yeah. Crazy. Imagine, imagine being in that film. God, man, man, just when in this a very short small gentleman and R Kelly's egg. It's a man, but the man is a Midget. And and and like and and and like. Why they call you big man? Because I'm blessed. It's like, what the fuck even is this film? Jesus, that's my point, Sonia, that it's the same track of music over and over again. It doesn't change. It's the same backing for the whole thing and the film, the films like an hour plus at least like 20 parts, 20 parts.

It's it's insane and it's like a super plot. And then the end of it was everyone's got aids and what? It's insane. And every single episode ends with R Kelly repeating the last line he sang as he kind of like dissolves into like favour and favour out of frame. It's really weird. Bad. The one you will, the 1 you will see all the time, if you look at like the world still does the rounds on like Instagram reels and stuff is the scene where a guy played by Michael K Williams is finding his wife's lover that she's taken.

And as R Kelly reveals, the man turns out to be a little person who's hiding under the sink. And it's like a reveal. Like they open the sink and there's a man there and he's a little man. And then R Kelly's just stood there going, but the man was a Midget, Midget, Midget, Midget. And then and then that fades out. And then because it's like the middle of the story, it just fades back in again. It just starts the next bit. It's absolutely nuts. I think it was released like, was it really such a web series or something?

It was mental. Really. Summer Redstone of Paramount at the side not to renew the distribution rights after this film. And a lot of that was due to Tom Cruise's couch jumping on on the Oprah Winfrey Show. Yeah, she was disgusted by his antics. Apparently, Jen said mind cannot comprehend how weird the Tom Cruise jumping on the couch thing was when it happened. The Chan said mind cannot comprehend that. Sorry Sonia, but but it's like, it was so weird. It's just. Was it not giving love to much latter?

You you've lives in under the shadow of of the post, the post Trump world for too long. Like like that was really that was really weird when that happened. Like it was just like he the waves overreacting the way he got married to like, Katie Holmes from Dawson's Creek. Katie Holmes. I'm with Katie Holmes in in current year, nobody's pay our hands. From the allegations. The Overton window has moved far too far for that to look weird anymore. Like, like we've seen, we've seen too much weird stuff.

You know, in a world where Dakota Johnson called Ellen for not inviting her to a party that doesn't. Yeah. This pales like embarrassing now, but. Yeah, it's like the whole thing with like army hammer on cannibalism and stuff and it's like. Yeah, that's, that's shifted things too far, isn't it? Like now it's still going back from that. I mean, he's he's not going back, is he? It's really a maritime before he's a Ben Shapiro film, isn't. It. Like Jonathan Majors, Joseph Major is making his own right wing version of Sinners, apparently.

Oh my God, bloody hell, the David Fincher version of this would have been wild. The basic storyline of it was going to deal with black market trade of body parts in Africa. Now that's cool as fuck. That's incredibly, incredibly David Fincher. No, it's, I mean, organ lagging is not Mission Impossible. It's I'm so pleased to God use the word organ lagging. He would just be literal about the rabbits. Parts yeah, but it's like for the rabbit's foot. I got the humans first. I got the humans ass everything you need.

There's so many fantastic what might have been with this film and what are those as you correct David David Fincher applying his Zodiac and seven and literally Mindhunter esque chops to this film. I will. I will say that Zodiac is aged better than this film has in terms of it's just a real luck. Like the vibe of it. Yeah. Like, this is a bit. This is dated into the early naughties in a way that that Zodiac and the films he did, he had a really good run from probably Zodiac up to before Monk. So Zodiac, social network, gone Girl, girl with the Dragon Tattoo.

Those four look pristine. And then he kind of went a bit mad with Monk and then the killer is a bit, I don't know, maybe here nor there wasn't sold on it, but those four are what a run. Along with David Fincher and when he was attached, Sylvester Stallone was being courted the main villain, which would have been really fucking bad. Stop. Making it have happened. Stop trying to make that happen. It's like, so David was in Randall this year. Yeah. Yeah. So David Fincher. Cool, awesome. Love it. We had organ lagging plot in Africa.

OK, kind of cool. Kind of it was, it's not going to feel like Mission Impossible, but it's going to be kind of fun and interesting, right? It's going to be grimy David Fincher and who? Who's this walking into the room fucking the guy who's going to be full of blood Morgans. What the fuck? It wouldn't have worked in the slightest. There is a thriller called The Humpty Dumpty Man and it's like. Is he an egg? He's not an egg. He is not an egg. I'm devastated. He's a, he's an Australian, which is maybe kind of like an egg, I don't know.

He's not an egg, but he is Australian. Yep, it is a Australian television movie from 1986, a drama slash thriller. It's based on the ALP politician David Combe affair. I'm sorry. Shadow is a trade consultant who accepts the Soviet trade contract and is accused of international espionage. The movie was not released theatrically. That's it's entire summary here in in in the Wikipedia man after like the info box. So Humpty Dumpty Man's 1986 Australian TV film, first feature Co written, directed by PJ Hogan, etcetera.

So, yeah, PJ Hogan, is that Paul Hogan? Is that? Is that Crocodile Dundee? Yes. What? Yes, I'm not even joking. PJ Hogan. Yes, Austin from director and screen over. He's a film right now and screenwriter. He wrote. He directed murals. Wedding, My best friend's wedding. Peter Pan Confessions were shopaholic. He is not the Paul Hogan. Oh, he's not Paul Hogan. Oh, you're going to be so excited. Yeah. No, he is. He is not the Paul Hogan everybody. Wrote yours wedding, he wrote my best friend's wedding.

Watched that. Yeah, last week. Yeah, he directed murals. Didn't like it? Really shit. I didn't wish. It should write this from the list and Kazak, you also wrote Confessions of a shopaholic filmography of this guy. The The first film he wrote was a short film called Getting Wet in 1984, followed up with The Humpty Dumpty Man, written and directed of. Shapiro Films. My God. Holy shit, I thought half. Yeah. Dune, the movie about Pat Shapiro's wife. Brutal. But yeah. So. Yeah. So. Bedroom like I must cultivate desert power.

Umm so the Humpty Dumpty Man was not released theatrically, but I think we should track it down to make 3 thrillers we've looked at related to Humpty Dumpty is. There is, he wrote, a Peter Pan adaptation with Jason Isaacs as captain. Who? Right the Jason Isaacs, Peter. Richard's Richard Richie Briars as Smee Jeffrey Palmer Is it it Jesus Christ? Yeah, man, I think, I think. Very young George McKay I. Think that was the apex of his career as well. I mean, the fucking Humpty Dumpty bad certainly wasn't.

Wow. OK. So yeah, that was great. Thank you very much for them to me and Rory, that's enriched my life. This is the last non superhero film as of 2015. This really very old, very old trivia. This is very old trivia. The last non superhero film would be the summer movie season starter, released on the first weekend of May. With superhero movies scheduled to start the summer through 2029, that will mean 13 consecutive years of start of the summer with a superhero movie. That's an interesting point.

Because this is, yeah, I mean 2029. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just thinking what, what was the starting lineup in 2023? The the Barbenheimer year? That was like mid. That was like sort of June, wasn't it? So what was before that? I thought it was Black Adam, but that's 2022. 20. When was when was? When was Wakanda forever? I was. 20 That was 20, that was 22 as well. Which? Which year was Bob and Heimer? 2023, right? Yes, it was. Yeah, Yeah, that's right. Yeah. Officially kicked off the early May with Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 3.

I forgot about that. There you go. Yeah, man. The animal cruelty one, I didn't watch it. In early May 2024 was reported that Tom Cruise and his role as a producer requested of the German government that filming be allowed in the 40 metre glass Dome of the German parliament building, the Reichstag. You know, I visited the Foster and part of design building and had been very impressed. His request was denied, however, by Parliament President Volfgantius. The building is not available as a film location and we refuse point blank every request to use it as such, a spokesman said.

I love that it's like. And Martin Landau was offered a cameo but declined. He's already pretty pissed off about Mission 1 where like all the characters were killed and John Voigt was the bad guy and all that stuff, so he was pretty pissed. He's pretty pissed off from that still. Yeah, I mean, so. Yeah. And you know he'd already done enough in Meteor. Yeah, go back to this centre anyway, right. So you want to move on to weapons? Absolutely. This is almost really cool. Guns in it. Obviously it's going to.

It's a Mission Impossible film. That AG 36. Yeah. What do you mean and? I like how the refer to the G get the G36 out of the truck. It's like not get the rifle the truck get the G36 on the truck. It's like you know like someone from hacker and cock is like fucking hey Tom there's €1000. Just make sure someone says the actual unit name of this rifle. Piss us off how he has to assemble it. I literally said it loud. Just keep it in a bag. I know it adds tension the scene and it was that reason, but it's really fucking silly.

It's not as egregious as he's seen as these films on some this is going to piss people off films on some super badass assassin spends ages assembling a sniper rifle from its tiniest component pieces and then like just like snapping the telescopic sight on and then it's going to be completely in need of being zeroed, right. But he makes the perfect fucking shots that that boils my piss. But very, very silly. Has to assemble. It gets a few shots off. It's AJ 36. It makes Sonia angry because it's the gun of people who are cuts.

No actual rare exception from the rule. Because it's not a con. The current for once and also for once which is very rare just being used in the standard configuration used by the German army. Also pleased to know that he actually used the red dot correctly because that has has two different settings because it can be battery powered which is why it has a little selector wheel on the side. Or you can slide the top cover open and use daylight Cool man to power. It did a bit of research and I was right in my initial assessment that it is a repair drone.

It's a Generosomics MQ TAC9 repair drone that attacks them with a CGI added afterburner as you said earlier. I like the the the kind of suppressing fire the laid down on the building in Germanys from big fuck off Barrett M82 sniper rifles on remote control weapons stations with those big fuck off drum magazines. It's ridiculous. It's a brutal about of overkill. I love it things kind of cool how the tranquillizer pistol that he uses on Davian is cast rubber Glock 26 with with with a bit of modifications on it.

That's really cool the the film, but it's like less than lethal weapons doesn't like lean into any kind of actual real commercial tears has rented from the pistols that are firing the tears as Ethan Hunt as he's leaving the even the hospital will escape in the hospital. It's Ruga Ruga standard little semi automatics. The IMFDB says it's the mark one, but I think it's the mark 2 with the size of the barrel. Can you believe there's a wife upstairs? All of that the IMF DB, the possible Missions Force database.

The grappling hook that they use is a modified Desert Eagle, which I think this first can be cool because it's like, it looks like it's just like, grab us a bag of things to make and the other things. And I like that. I like that kind of like, like kind of armouring and kind of costuming of the scenes with bullshit. Yeah. It's Kit bashed off quotes from this film. This film's got some bars, some absolute bars. Most of them are coming from the man himself, Morpheus. It's. Got like 5 minutes of screen time as well.

It's amazing, it's mental, I'm fine. Some of my favourites here. Mr Musgrave, please don't interrupt me when I'm asking. Rhetorical questions, yes. So good, man. It's not acceptable that chocolate makes you fat, but I've eaten my share and guess what? Amazing. So good. It is so. Good, you can look at me with those judgmental eyes all you want, but I built. But I bullshit you not I will bleed on the American flag to make sure those stripes say red. Such a big fuck. That's something fucking eggs, F would say.

Yet. Somehow. Yet somehow it's cool, man. Brussels says it. Yeah, that's because that's because Lawrence Fishman is a hell of actor. Yeah, and Lawrence Fishman. Coolest Fucking Pete Hanks. That sucks. Sucks. Yeah, you. Suck. Deaf sucks. We've dropped the people discovering with. Ethan Hunt after claiming a wall as a signal, Humpty Dumpty sat in the wall. I just think that was a signal. I don't think that's a signal he sounded out. I think it's a vocal. Stem to himself, yeah, it's just to himself, isn't?

He I'm getting sat in the wall, you know? I'm Humpty Dumpty. Yeah. Always wanted to say this. Boy, oh boy, oh boy. Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. Get a little silly with it sometimes. Yeah, OK, one of the weird ones is. And you never slept with your little sister, right? Yeah, that's, yeah, that's creepy. That's that's Luther being a bit being a bit blue. Yeah. And you never slip in your little sister, right? Yeah. OK. Humpty Dumpty sad in the wall. I love that. What other ones can even hunt do and the couch under for the moon.

Like he's a little The kid had a fiddle.

He's all the nursery rhymes. He's about to get busted by like corrupt British cops and he's like all the King's horses, not all the King's man. Kingsman all that bit. There's a bit of a rogue nation where he like, jumps into the underwater facility where all the hard drives are stored. He's under there for ages. Just there bubbling out his mouth is like would she Spider I? Love that shit. That's incredible man. Fucking I really like the line from there. Brussel. I don't care if your daddy plays golf with the president, this is intelligence.

So far I haven't seen any. I love that. That's really good as well, keeping that my back pocket for a particularly zesty Teams meeting. Nice. I don't know if this actually shows shows up in the in the quotes section on here, but I love the line when Brussel is is giving Billy crud up the business about running in unsanctioned up and Billy clubs like, Oh, well, I've got evidence for some guy with a totally made-up sounding Arabic name that's going to be in some place and he's like, huh, I'd like to see that intelligence.

I don't like to think of is what's kind of running joke. It's you're Omar Bakshi, leader of Hezbollah, and it's like, yeah, I'd like to see that evidence that it's like, I want you, you piece of shit. Yeah, just like I said, a significant. Yeah, it's, it's it's we've received Intel that Haddam Salim Baha was on route to Shanghai. He's like Hadeem Salim Baha. That's right. You know what I'd love? I'd love to see that Intel. I'll be in my office. It's like, yes, we've got, we've got, we've got, we've got evidence that John made-up name is going to be in in this place again.

Just a great Brussel, Musgrave smackdown. Brussel to Ethan. Who was drawing these conclusions? Is it you, John Musgrave? I am, Sir, based upon Brussel. I'm not on you yet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've been in this kind of meetings before. Yeah, yeah, fucking incredible scenes. How would you think a Brussel would be as a leader? Would you guys like having Brussel as your leg? I've. Had people I've had, I've had people like Brussel be my boss before. I shouldn't talk about on here. We have talked, obviously about how this film was almost directed by the fella who did Smoke Anesis.

I've got a little game we're going to play called Wheel of Directors. When I've listed some directors of previous films clear and present dudes I've done, I'm going to spin this wheel and we're going to have a chat and see what this film would have looked like if this director had worked on it. Oh, little wheel. Little wheel. And the wheel's spinning, and the wheel is coming to its rest and it says Denny Villeneuve. Dennis Villeneuve. Denny Villeneuve, Yes. Yes. Right. How would Denny Villeneuve have pulled this bad one off, do you think?

Has been interesting? Wouldn't it would have had like he would have imbued a lot more distrust of the government into it? Yeah, this film is, it's not as fun with Denny Villeneuve. I don't think Denny Villeneuve's got in him to make like a fun blockbuster that isn't like, you know, touching at something, quote unquote elevated, quote, unquote prestige, you know what I mean? Like if you look at his his back catalogue, everything he's done has been pretty serious. I don't I don't put a Denny Villeneuve film on to have a fun time.

Closest, closest he's done to that is probably June Part 2, right? Jesus Christ played on a 2049. What a you know, I love that film very much. But if he's trying to do a mission, it'd be a bit of a snooze fest I think. Philip Seymour Hoffman working on though Philip. Seymour Hoffman No lens flare, less colours. No lens flare, less colours. I like it. More depression, longer and more lingering shots of the the poor girl with the exploded brain. God, yes, Absolutely, Fucking absolutely. Fucking hated that scene the entire time anyway.

He'd be like cutting a lot of people's dialogue down, like hardly anything. Philip, Philip, Philip Seymour Hoffman's dialogue would just be cut down to I've activated the charge inside your head. My rabbit, my foot, give it to me. We, we will. We will cultivate running power. I'm going to give it one more fucking spin. Something on blue and it's coming up with Roger Donaldson. No way out. Yes, incredibly 80s and incredibly horny. Tom Cruise would have had full full sex several times in the film.

Absolutely. Oh man, I mean, right. I don't I I have a theory that that Tom Cruise has never had sexual chemistry with any person on film ever, and the closest he gets to it is Ebony Blunt. That's because Emmy Blunt fucking rules other films. But Roger Thomas on the other hand, the man who did Species, The man who did no way else. Yeah. Jesus Christ, let's have a look. Who else he's gone. He's he's Uber. We must refresh ourselves on this one. So cocktail. So he's worked with him before, actually.

He has, He has. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cocktail. Wow. So actually they probably bit for Rapport already. The recruit in 2003 is 100 and something. That's a brilliant film. That's on the list. Oh yeah. OK, this would rule actually. So that's probably. Good, yeah. So that's the closest XP to this, actually. And and, you know, same sort of thing, say, guys doing spy stuff. It'd probably have more spy stuff in it than action stuff. Yeah, But I think it'd be really, really good. Oh, we should do that film, by the way.

The recruits. Yeah. And on the cookie jar. Oh, brilliant. Definitely. Definitely good, I would have maybe felt more like the first Mission impartial film the the 1 from 1996. Like I'm actually really fucking cool. I would be pretty damn horny as well. Yeah, we focus a lot more on his relationship with Julie, and for some reason there'd be a sex scene just to kind of buy in there. Would you say that he has a penis like a baboon? I don't know. The the the hospital sex scene would have been more graphic.

I'm going to give this thing one more spin because this is because this is good. You just wanted to land on Neil Breen, Julie, just junior breed. No, no, it's because I'm good, because I'm going to make this a fucking recurring thing, Sonia, So I'm so I'm not just going to put my finger on it and make it land on Neil Breen. OK? This is. Going to add to the mix now. OK, here we go. So it's a different colour. It's in yellow now and it is coming up with Neil Breen. I can't believe you spun the wheel.

I cannot believe you spun the wheel. And you can't keep getting away with it. Mate. All right, OK, here we go. So this film's special effects would be significantly different.

The. Same amount of green screen, just not employed anywhere near as well the. Bridge attack scene would have been absolutely horrid.

It would be on the same level as those those African action things. Spider man or whatever. And then someone that's like cropped in a Tiger attack helicopter really badly. Who killed Captain Alex, basically. Yeah, yeah. Same sound effects for explosion over and over again. The exact same sound effects. There's a bit where Tom Cruise turns on the camera and goes, we need to make this an even fight and then only isn't Tom Cruise because Tom Cruise gets sacked from production by Neil Breen, who somehow has taken over.

Yeah. Extraterrestrial beating from outer space who can read minds, levitate and have superpowers. Yeah, Ethan Hunt really is the force of *** He really is manifest. Destiny. But you have given you the rabbit's foot. I have already given you the rabbit's foot. There's a scene, right? And understand what you want from me. It's like Julia I. Can't help you out of this one and. It's going to be like, listen, listen, it's typing away the laptop. And he goes, I'm going to continue hacking into these these government systems to see what I can find out about all this national and international conversion I know is going on.

I'm going to uncover the Vatican's secrets. Stop, stop. I could already get so excited about the film. It's actually a shot for shot remake of Fit for findings. You could literally knockout quotes and then he'll reinvoice. I study traffic patterns. You hit the brakes for a second, just tap them on the freeway. You can literally track the ripple effect. Hey man, I'm talking to you. Put the gun down. Was that not the rabbit's foot? Did you want something else? Just listen. Talk to me. We can talk like gentlemen.

But that actually fucking. That actually is the amount of repetition there. Holy. Shit, yeah. I work for the impossible missions. The rabbit's foot is in Paris. You want to know where in Paris? Then let her go, because you will never find it without me. It is in Paris. It's not in Paris 5. This is this is right up there with that hole. Take a film, replace every member of the cast but one with Muppets, the VHS and the mess test. Would this film do well in constant rotation on a VHS, DVD or Blu-ray player in the mess, wardroom or barracks of a military vessel or base?

Big dime, big dime. It's got all. It's all the ingredients. It's slap the base button. It's got all the ingredients, it's part of a franchise, it's got stance, It's vaguely military related but isn't really military related. It came out at a period when all we were young, so it's nostalgic as well as did we a good movie. Strong. Nostalgic. Strong. Tom-tom Cruise is still making these movies, so it's still a current franchise. It's current. You can, you can. You can have a marathon of them starting from #1.

We can do a marathon, Yeah. A very important ingredient for deployment is the ability to have a marathon of the films as well. Yeah, excellent. There we go. What is the most egregious oversaw of the military industrial complex in this film? Holy fucking shit, where do you start? The wall scanning thing, What the Which one? The the eye can see through walls without giving everyone massive cancer. Oh yeah, that's pretty bad, yeah. Yeah. In fairness though, they don't know. We we don't know that it's not given the massive cancer.

That's right. There isn't there isn't like a post credit sequence were like a loaded German guy who's just like just like fucking walking out of of of like an oncologist office looking really sad. What else? Oh, the All right, I say what I do like about this film, actually, Hodge. Deagle. I got I got a bit grumpy. I got a bit grumpy that Owen Davian had the mask tech because it was a bit like, well, hang on. Yeah, I never got it. How how how they got it is it is it's just masks, the thing that anyone can do now that was annoying.

But but I do like that we're still in the stage of Mission Impossible where the masks are like fun to do and this is the first time we see them get made. There's a lot of stuff we see happen in this draw, like, but yeah, I think I agree with Sonya. I think the I've got one, I've got one. So the exact same thing. It's the same thing, but there's a bit where they identify Kerry Russell's character and it comes up with a screen vascular match and they've got, they've got a scan of her blood vessel, like her, her circulatory system, and that's like her fingerprint.

And they scan that through the wall and match it to her and have an ID match and it happens in a split second. Yeah, that's, that's how I was going to say that. It's the fact that the that the that the IMF can put the hands on a man portable fucking easily deployed baseball pitching machine at at fucking Zero Dark hundreds, half a world away. They can somehow get their hands on one and make it work. But the biggest sofa Sally right, is fucking identifying someone through the vascular system, through a wall.

That is it. What's the biggest missed opportunity in the film? The Ding Chavez Memorial Missed Opportunity Award. Shit, yeah, forgot about this. I mean, they deal with this later in subsequent films, but this is Benji's introduction to the franchise. Some of his character he would become on, he comes on to become like a major character to the point where he's like joining them on the missions. He's a field agent and all that kind of stuff. I don't I don't think they indicate that he wants to do that in this film or at any point.

And then the, I think a cool thing, if they knew the, if they knew where the franchise was going after, after this, which they didn't, they they could have indicated that a little bit. I guess that's the only thing I can think of. Like a real subtle thing of like, oh man, I really want to join you on these missions one day kind of thing. And then the next one is like, I passed the field as an exam. Yeah. You know. Yeah, kind of thing. Be cool, man. I would like to see a hospital chaplain's honest reaction to being told by by this lady that please do an emergency fucking wedding.

Please. An emergency marriage for me and my boyfriend. Not because he's about to die. Not because it's like an articular mortar situation. Because. Because he's about to go away for work. Yeah, and he's like. My interest? No, it's a conference. Just a conference, you know, My job is normally telling people like is helping people out when they've been diagnosed with cancer and stuff. Yeah, this. Is really my job. Yeah, it's like, it's like, OK, so I've seen, like I, I have seen the light go out of multiple people's eyes today.

I've given the last rights to three people. I've, I've, I've carried out fucking like just today I married a cancer patient to his wife 5 minutes before he died. And then and now you want me to marry you and this guy? Is he a patient? No. Is he dying? He's. Sort of. This isn't, this isn't like while you were sleeping. This is like Dermot Mulroney. He's just woken up from a cover. Yeah. This is like, this is like, will you see? We've got to get married because it's going to be really cute. Sorry, I need to make a correction.

It's Peter Gallagher who wakes up from there, wakes up from the camera. I'm sorry. Got married, it's going to be really cutesy. It's going to stop him fucking around on his conference that he's at. What about you saying you got any messed up? Parking rides, parking rides. Bring it quickly, boys. Bring it, bring. Yeah, I've got to bring it home with some notes from the peanut gallery, if that's quite all right with you guys. Let's see what the good people of Letterboxed dot com think about this film.

1/2 a star from someone whose name I won't even use because Mike will probably try and kill him. Was Philip Seymour Hoffman ever in anything good? Just asking. What the fuck, man? It's like he's never even seen Magnolia or. Or the master in. New York or the Master, or along came Polly. Half a star. The Asian character wore a chopstick in her hair. I just want to talk from someone called extremely judgy. Fair enough, half a star stinks. As this franchise keeps going they put more and more money into it.

This is the third one of the plots getting no better. Tom Cruise gets no better either. Totally repulsive individual. What is so attractive? The movie producers to invest in films that are remakes of TV shows. So lame. Got another Savage 1 here. All capitals garbage ass Looney tunes for 35 year old men. There's two stars coming out here. They needed let Philip Seymour Hoffman cook a whole lot more. He should be on screen the whole time. Picture in picture down in the corner. Whatever. Philip Seymour.

Whatever Philip Seymour Hoffman is on the screen, people should be asking where's Philip Seymour Hoffman? See, there's some freaky essay in the biggest in series, so I'm going to continue reading that because the wrong. One star. I wish this would have been directed by Neil Breen. Two stars we're. Not going to find that in here. Star Review. What if there was a wife? That's pretty much it. Two star alias and add spin off pilot our movie. Only JJ fucking Abrams can make Mission Impossible boring.

This is an exercise in what happens when you get the most unimaginative director possible. The director franchise. It's literally known for being imaginative. Ouch. Would disagree as well. There are worse directors. There are worse directors. I can't I see where they're coming from because the heists that they do with this movie aren't like some of the crazier ones that we get later in the series. Like I I already mentioned the underwater vault 1 to you like that. That one's, that one's mega and nothing, nothing that happens here is it puts them in the same kind of peril during the heist.

Yeah, I'm on theft. Also, maybe they just didn't like lens flare. Yeah, maybe they were like an enemy of lens flare. 3 stars breaking loops and trampling shits. Burning heart emoji, breaking loops, and trampling shits. That's all that means. 4 1/2 star review Gold Dam someone says yeah, she's the wife of cinema. I'm the wife. Here's a question if you haven't touched upon. I just saw a review that mentions it. Tom Cruise, Ethan Hunt hair watch Yes, so so this is the third movie, third hairstyle. It's slightly different from the first film where he has like a short buzz on the sides.

Second film. Long, resplendent, improbable hair. Yeah, he does not have the hair of the military guy. Probably the best cover he could have hadn't been to be that hair. And then this one has standard short backing size with a little flick on the front, doesn't he? Which looks weird from the side, but that was very much of its of its time, doesn't it? It was. Very golf time. Golf, dad hair, that's what he's got. Yeah, we'll see the next one that gets along again. Yeah, it does make him believable in his kind of Amir.

Just boring admin kind of guy cover, I guess, because like, right, if you had like this kind of like like military kind of haircut in the first one, I said right, see a very physical first go and we had all these ships you to work for the fucking Department of Transportation. You're killing people out somewhere. You work for Blackwater or something, don't you? Yeah, yeah. Whereas now he's like, got the kind of look and that car, he's got that always, like, big. I don't know what they call it, but he's got, like a big family car.

Yeah. He's got a dog, which in the screenplay is called Buster. He's got hair. You can imagine him and Jules going for a drive and they're listening to Coldplay is a rush of blood to the head. Oh my. God. Actually, do we think that is a believable cover for someone who is ridiculously fit in an America pre the excessive gym? Culture. We have the manosphere. Shouldn't you be a little chubbier with that job? Can you imagine like Ethan County has to do like tactical weight gain? Possibly it would be more believably if he told his wife that he was working like for an oil company or something like that.

Yeah. This is the need get away with with being medically fit enough to piss off to an oil rig every now and then. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it would also explain him just being unavailable for for weeks at a time. And she's impervious to red flags so she wouldn't even notice. Yeah, but but like, I mean, oh, I, I, I work for the Department of Transportation. What are you the traffic? That reminds me so when he's escaping from from Langley. Work is the train I'm going around you what? So when he's escaping from Langley and he's like getting all the agents to go all over the building and he's like jammed the transmitter onto plates sing like we are fair movies.

There's there's, there's a bit where he like tumbles through an office and out for like a doctor, something like that. He knocks over a box and out-of-the-box fills tonnes and tonnes of leaflets and all the leaflets say on the, on the front cover like primer for the Department of Transport. So it's like, it's like where they get their covers from. Like they're all in the Department of Transport. Every person who works for the IMF, there is no Department of Transport because they all work for the IMF.

Like, like, and it's just like, Oh yes, transport. Violation citizen and it's just even on showing up to shoot you in the head. Just hires all these jacked, very capable people like fucking fucking Luther Stickles coming round to just check out check out some issues regarding that fly over that someone said had some cracks in its base. And you know, just just paying no attention to his incredibly capable and intimidating demeanour. I swear to God, he's just like like a higher level admin guy. That's why fuck, like I said, yeah, Sonia, really good point.

I mean, if if this film was out like he come nine years later, he could have explained his massive level of physical fitness by saying always a CrossFit brew as as well as being like an admin nerd for for the DOT. But it's like, yeah, like, nothing about his cover makes sense at all. Like, I don't know. We are, we are litigating deep into this. But I think we all all are aware that if we told the women in our life this bullshit that we've just got to go away for a traffic conference, they're like, no, no, this is a lie.

Just the last one we should be asking is, would this film be better with Peter Falk in it? Wouldn't get Columbo on it. Scrungly, crungly Peter Falk in his dirty old coat. Being witty, being smooth, being cool. Well, the wittiest character of this film is Brussel, isn't it? Yeah. So I think, I think I think PF Four could be a good Brussel, be a good boss of the IMF, and that would be closer to like, what? So the second one is Anthony Hopkins, who's the boss. Yeah, yeah. And they? Never explained what happened to him.

They just replace him. Maybe you're. Arrested for murder? Yeah, obviously. They, they fired him because because he had this stupid idea to give them all this fucking Department of Transportation cover story, right? So most grave It's come to my attention that yesterday afternoon you sent A-Team to the Far East. Oh, we received until that Haram Salim Baha was on route to Shanghai, Haram Salim Bahar. But one more thing. Isn't Haram Salim Bahar already in custody in Guantanamo Bay? My wife, she she, she has a lucky rabbit's foot in her purse, but that's not the rabbit's foot we're talking about.

Nice, I love it. Amazing, amazing man. And here's the question on everyone's minds. Is this film pro or anti the Department of Transport? I'm sorry, the CIA? Yeah. Is this film pro around I the CIA? So I think at this stage in the history of the IMF, in the Mission Impossible franchise, and the IMF is still part of the CIA. And it's only a thing that comes in the later films where the funding streams, the CIA and IMF become separate and separate to and subject to congressional oversight hearings, which is all I've been watching on Fred's for the past fucking three months.

Apparently the part is one of them. Every fucking day now and they lead nowhere and nothing matters. Jesus Christ. Anyway, I think this film is pro say, I think I think later ones we're going to have a more interesting conversation when we get to like 4:00 and 5:00. Definitely, definitely. Just waiting for the the Congressional oversight hearing on the Clean Print Dudes podcast. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm reclaiming my time. If you want to answer my question, I will ask another. Have you been tonight?

We. Who have we been tonight? We have been clear dudes nice.

Mission Impossible: III (2006)

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