Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit (2014)

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1:38 Brilliant, I affected. I am joined by Rory James o'tool

1:41 this kitchen in Sanya from his vast library.

1:44 And tonight we are diving moderately deep into the

1:49 moderately successful moderately Tom Clancy ish Jack Ryan shadow

1:53 recruits. Hello, welcome.

1:54 Please, if you haven't already, subscribe like do the follow on

1:59 Spotify, click on the sub stack. One day I'll get back to writing

2:02 on it. I've just been real busy and.

2:04 Come with a discord as well. Discord is fucking empty.

2:06 It's become. Discord It's depressing to be a

2:09 discord mod with new new discorders and and spoiler

2:14 warning this is a spoiler cast. We're going to spoil the movie

2:17 all the way through, but this movie came out in 2014 and if

2:20 you didn't watch it then not many other people did either, so

2:23 that's fine. OK, right.

2:27 How we doing? Should we just get straight into

2:28 it? Yeah, this quarterback had the

2:33 situation. Somebody tried to kill me.

2:51 Jack, Jack, Jack. Is work OK?

2:54 Yeah. You know you sold this as an

2:59 office job. Why don't you sit down Now talk

3:02 me through your very scary scenario.

3:05 Keep in mind I don't have your PhD.

3:09 Tokyo, London, United States. It's going to be a wipeout.

3:14 We'll never see it coming. You're not just an animus

3:16 anymore. They're operational now.

3:18 Jack, I have to go to Moscow. Why don't you want me to come?

3:25 And we'll be working the whole time.

3:28 They play rough over there. Jack Victor Cherven is

3:30 unpredictable. You Americans like to think of

3:34 yourselves as direct. Perhaps you are just rude.

3:37 Perhaps you're just touching Jack.

3:40 You got another problem. What are you doing here?

3:42 You lied to me for three years. Somebody come on?

3:45 Of course not. Are you?

3:46 Can we have a a minute please? No, this is geopolitics, not

3:49 couples therapy. Partnerships are delicate news

3:54 today. Sometimes they end violence.

3:57 What? The hell is going on here?

4:01 Sometimes the ones closest to us are the ones we should trust to

4:04 leave. OK, let me let me do a spiel.

4:08 Jack Ryan Shadow Recruit is a 2014 stroke origin story entry

4:13 into a long running film franchise based on the Jack Ryan

4:16 character by Thomas Clancy. Repositioning the hero this time

4:20 is a post 9/11 analyst drawn into economic terrorism rather

4:25 than the Cold War, the Gold's Cold War.

4:28 This particular entry was directed by Kenny B Kenneth

4:31 Branagh, written by Adam Kozad and David Kep.

4:34 You talk about David Kepp maybe a bit later on.

4:36 I think you mentioned it before because this isn't the first

4:38 David Kepp penned film we've done.

4:40 That's because a lot of films are penned by David Kepp, films

4:42 like Jurassic Park and 2017's The Mummy starring Tom Cruise.

4:48 Anyway, it stars Chris Pine as Jack Ryan, Kenneth Branagh,

4:52 Kevin Costner and Keira Knightley and released

4:55 theatrically on the 17th of January 2014.

4:58 Not long before I joined the Royal Navy.

5:00 About about about 8 weeks before I joined the Royal Navy and

5:03 including an IMAX release that began the same day.

5:06 As I mentioned, the film was a modest success at the box

5:08 office. It opens to $17.2 million in the

5:12 North America and ultimately earned about $50 million

5:16 domestic, which and then worldwide about 135 mil and it

5:21 cost about 60 mil to make. So if you add in pretty much

5:24 double it for marketing stuff, it kind of broke even.

5:27 Just about to make a comparison this weekend, Project Hill Mary

5:31 on its first weekend made over 50 mil, which is the entire

5:34 domestic product of this one and it's only dropped 30% in its

5:38 second weekend. So that's a huge big ass smash.

5:41 This is not that. OK cool.

5:44 Who had seen this film before? Not me.

5:46 Nope. I'd seen it once.

5:48 I watched it in, I watched it on a plane in 2016, and that's all

5:51 I and I remember that Kevin Costner was in it, and that's

5:54 all I remembered about it. And obviously Chris Pine was

5:57 Jack Ryan. And then I watched it again

5:59 yesterday, and if I hadn't made these notes, I'll tell you what,

6:02 I'd probably remember that Kevin Costner was in it.

6:03 And this time I might remember that Keira Knightley said it.

6:05 And that's about it. This is the second Chris Pine

6:09 film we've done that one of us watched on a plane.

6:12 Because I watched Unstoppable for the first time when I was

6:15 flying back from Iceland after the airspace was reopened.

6:18 Now that movie. That movie ruled, though.

6:20 This was my pick as well. It was my pick and I hadn't seen

6:23 it. What did you think then?

6:25 What did you think? You know what wasn't terrible?

6:27 It was OK as a film. It's not great as a Jack Ryan

6:31 film. I think it's the worst of the

6:32 Jack Ryan films, but you are up against some stiff competition.

6:36 Parts of it followed pretty badly.

6:39 Some of it was kind of fun. There was some massive missed

6:41 opportunities in the film. The whole there was essentially

6:44 almost a subplot in it that should have been treated as

6:47 because it was meant to be part of the air plot, right?

6:49 So there's. So I mean, we're jumping way

6:51 into spoilers. Yeah.

6:52 But there's a family, a family of Russian sleeper agents in the

6:54 US who got activated and they're going to carry out this

6:57 terrorist attack in New York. And just seems like it's just

7:02 that set up a final action scene.

7:04 And they could have done so much more with it and still kept it

7:07 within the realms of a really good thriller.

7:09 Yeah, I'm excited to talk about that.

7:12 I've got I've got opinions about that as well.

7:14 Sonia, what did you think of the movie?

7:16 You've said it's not great, not terrible as far as just the form

7:20 goes. I'd rated 3.5 Rundkin as well.

7:23 Yes, concerning the quality of the film in comparison to other

7:27 Jake Ryan products, I rated the actual amount of Rankin's

7:31 released by the Incident. Not great, very terrible.

7:36 I am. I am not sure what to make of

7:41 it, but it's not getting a very satisfactory from me.

7:47 BS the serial through scrub OK Fost bounce not so.

7:53 That's the thing we just did. This is what sets us apart from

7:56 other podcasts. Niche.

7:57 This film didn't find all the leftover food wrappers during

8:02 sweepers. Unsuccessful Ford plot of a

8:05 movie. So OK, right.

8:07 I'll, I'll, I'll get to the plot.

8:08 So we mentioned at the beginning this is a post 911 film.

8:13 Not in the sense that it was made immediately after 911, but

8:15 this reframes Jack Ryan's recruitment and entry into the

8:19 military. So he's at the London School of

8:21 Economics 911 happens and then he basically immediately enlists

8:27 as a Marine will not enlist because he's an officer.

8:30 And then we see him cut, cut ahead 2 years.

8:33 It's 2003. He's in he's in Afghan.

8:36 He's a helicopter that gets shot down over Afghan, which is his

8:39 Castorfic back injury, which is like a bit of it's almost like

8:43 these are all in a parallel universe, isn't it?

8:44 And that and but they're like, there are fixed constants and

8:47 every Jack Ryan must have to have fuck up his back.

8:49 Yeah, in the in a helicopter crash and it's all different

8:52 kind of ways because obviously in the what's his name?

8:55 Jim, Jim, Jim from the office, Tenzinski, Jim Straczynski,

8:59 Whatever it. Is Randall Park.

9:03 He his his back injury helicopter crash is fucking

9:06 horrible because like, I mean, Mike, I think you've seen season

9:09 1 of the Jack Ryan show Sonya, I don't know if you have but him,

9:14 him and his team like evacuates to make civilians from from the

9:17 some village in Iraq. I think it is and this one child

9:21 just literally suicide bombs the helicopter like it cut like it

9:25 cut like Jack Ryan's POV and his kids just dropped a bunch of

9:28 poking grenades and it's like that that's heroin.

9:32 This one you've got gets gets shot down and I believe is a

9:39 cannon for the novel Jack Ryan that his helicopter crash was in

9:43 an exercise. I think it was, yeah.

9:46 And I think that's sort of mentioned in Hunt for October as

9:49 well. Yeah, I think, I think you're

9:51 right. It does come up when when they

9:54 put him on the carrier and the this yeah CEO is like, what is

9:58 this fucker doing on my ship? That's right.

10:01 And they're like, oh, well, actually he's not just a twat

10:02 from. So yeah, he was.

10:04 He was in the what? Also was at the Academy.

10:08 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's, it obviously makes sense

10:13 for like Booby Jack Ryan's who have not done it during an

10:15 actual war because they weren't as many wars.

10:18 Go on then. I mean, they could have.

10:20 Yeah, no, they could have done some like shitty you could have

10:22 been Panama, could have been in the death squads, but you, you.

10:24 But it wasn't, so it's OK. He could have been living out

10:27 the living out the plot of the Cobland song, student visas and

10:32 getting shot down in Latin America because he was with the

10:35 death squads. So about 5 minutes into the

10:39 movie, he is in a field hospital and they go, oh, this guy's

10:42 back's really fucked up. We got to go, him got to go out.

10:45 He's he's done with this war. So then he's he's back in the US

10:48 And then we kind of catch up with him as he's doing some

10:50 painful physical therapy. Classic thing, the whole walk in

10:54 with a crutch whilst someone's like come come towards me thing.

10:56 But you always see he meets Kathy Mueller who becomes Kathy

11:00 Ryan, of course. And this is R12.

11:04 Three. This is our 4th Kathy Ryan.

11:06 There are only four. Kathy Ryan's isn't there because

11:08 one of them is actually in two films.

11:10 Hold on the original. Gates McFadden.

11:12 Gates McFadden. Then we have the the main Kathy

11:15 Ryan from I think that's right. Yeah, no relations still then we

11:21 have. I've forgotten her name in.

11:24 All the TV shows Arsenal fields, Bridget Moynahan.

11:26 I forgot about her as well. Yeah.

11:29 Then we have TV show and then we have Keira Nightly.

11:32 So there's 5. There's five.

11:34 You're right. I forgot about Bridget Moynahan.

11:36 Yeah, Yeah. Cool.

11:37 Yeah. So let's just do this now.

11:40 Power rankings for power rankings.

11:42 Power rankings for Fizz Ryan. Who's who?

11:45 Who wins? Right?

11:46 Who would win the fight? And who and who's the Who's the

11:50 most convincing? Actual Kathy Ryde.

11:52 Hand fight all at the same time or like do I have like a kind of

11:58 a kind of like structure thing that's like of course, it's the

12:01 limited. Can look out that tournament.

12:03 Like the World Cup of of Kathy's riot fighting.

12:06 No, I want to go for like a rage in the cage.

12:09 Yeah, welcome to the Thunderdome. 5 Kathy's enter

12:13 what Kathy leaves. Leaves on my left, Kathy on my

12:17 right, Kathy right ahead of me, also Kathy behind me.

12:21 Two more Kathy's. Oh my God, it's Kathy with the

12:24 steel chair. One knife.

12:28 I'll be, I'll be. Cornish's the Kathy Ryan from

12:30 the TV show. We haven't even said her name.

12:32 Yeah, just don't throw that out of.

12:34 Respect on her name. With the rest of the Kathy's

12:36 ride, Gates McFadden is getting physically beaten first.

12:41 I think I just don't see her as being fighting particularly.

12:45 No, no, no. Keira Knightley looks like, I

12:49 mean, she's, she's very lean, she's very rapid.

12:52 Sorry, I will say, I will say about Gatesburg for them though

12:54 that her outfit for for the fight would be like like the

12:57 neoprene like jumpsuit like aerobic city that she was

13:01 wearing. She wearing, Yeah, it's Beverly

13:03 Pressure in Star Trek, which is doing like the aerobics with

13:05 with Deanna Troi. Fucking aerobic scene.

13:08 Good grief. Fan service.

13:10 So I think, I think that the the Keira Knightley, the Keira

13:15 Knightley, Cathy Ryan looks pretty rapid.

13:19 I think long reach as well. I think she's a bit taller than

13:23 some of them she seems. She is.

13:24 She's Yeah, she's tall. She's got let's get a tale of

13:27 the tape on them. First of all, podcast.

13:31 We just want know how tall these women are, how much the way, how

13:35 long the reach is, how big the. Age.

13:37 She's. Currently going to call for

13:38 Polly. My God.

13:41 And she's just going to come in like full domino mode and just

13:43 like dual wheeled guns and just I.

13:45 Remember, that film was normal. That was close.

13:47 All right, Kian, that is actually surprising. 5 foot

13:49 seven. I thought she'd be taller.

13:51 Hey, Sam. Hey, it's me.

13:52 Cool. It's not in normal units. 170

13:56 centimetres. Let's get out of here.

14:01 So what what I suggest is that the next Kathy Ryan should be

14:05 Elizabeth to Becky because she's like 6 foot 5, which would make

14:08 her the most powerful for Catholics.

14:10 She would be incredibly powerful.

14:12 Holy shit. It would have been like Jack,

14:16 are you having an affair? Oh my God to be so much like

14:21 rule 34. Giant ass stuff made of a.

14:24 Yeah, this is taking its own. So lovely weather we're having

14:29 today. Bridget, Bridget Moynahan, do

14:31 you think she's got she's got that dog in her.

14:33 I think she, I think she could throw down.

14:35 Yeah, actually that's fair. Yeah, it will be a tight run

14:40 thing. I think it would be pretty close

14:41 apart from Gates McFadden who was a national treasure and we

14:43 do love, but she is getting beaten in like the first two

14:46 minutes. Yeah, listen to her franchise.

14:48 They're saying her franchise. It isn't her fight either man.

14:51 It isn't her fight. I mean she can't bring a phase

14:54 out. The referee took a phase or off

14:55 just before she went in. Otherwise they'll have been

14:57 blood buff. She had like one line as well

15:00 and like Hunter October she was barely there I think right.

15:04 I don't know if this is just nostalgia talking, but I think

15:06 an Archer for me is like it's kind of mainly I'll tell you why

15:09 because I don't know Ann Archer from much of the stuff as well.

15:13 Yeah, Ann Archer seems indefatigable.

15:16 Like she seems like she's got. Like the flagship of the fleet

15:21 in CS Foresters. She seems like she can dig in

15:27 deeper, I think, for more fight. And I'll actually be kind of

15:30 like, I didn't hear, I know a bell.

15:31 Like, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

15:33 You know. Because she's got a little

15:34 forward to look after. I think I think she's got the

15:38 most Catholic trot wife energy. Oh yeah.

15:42 Have have we considered the amount of pent up anger they are

15:46 bringing into into the fight? Because I feel like Keira

15:50 Knightley Cathy is like she, she finds one cinema ticket and is

15:54 immediately like you are having an affair and I'm going to give

15:57 you shit. Can a man not go to the cinema?

16:01 Yeah, man, right. This is this is bright.

16:04 This is a key point of the movie I want to talk about.

16:05 So Keira Knightley is is Kathy Miller is, I think, a bit

16:09 unhinged. I.

16:10 Think she's a lot unhinged. I love.

16:12 Her. She's a lot unhinged crazy

16:13 energy. And I love her, I love her.

16:15 She's mint. It's just funny because it's

16:18 like it's she has a whole rule about like, oh, I can't tell a

16:20 patient, can't tell a patient. It's not because HR has gone to

16:23 her because she already has, because I'll tell you what it

16:25 is. It's not her like moral code

16:27 that's doing it because she is. She's getting she's not afraid

16:30 to break some rules. I mean, The thing is right,

16:33 like, you know what he said, just give me a couple of

16:34 Percocets and just like you'll have one and it's like that's

16:38 that's not from the hospital, like dispensary.

16:40 That's her personal like she's carrying.

16:42 Let's just hold it. He's like.

16:43 She's already been stealing. No, these are mine.

16:49 These are my emotional support perks.

16:52 Jesus, one thing about this, like is that Chris Pine, we do a

16:57 time jump, sorry, he gets he gets recruited by the CIA, which

17:00 we'll talk about in a minute, I guess as well.

17:02 But he there's a time jump and then all of a sudden he's

17:04 working on Wall Street and it's 10 years later and he goes to

17:07 see a meaning of sorry, wrong number, sorry wrong number.

17:11 And he goes to certainly doing. I like this because it's like

17:14 all these schooly old fashioned spy movie stuff, like a guy

17:17 going to a cinema to watch an old man, a showing of an old

17:20 movie. And they meet up with a contact

17:22 and they share some Intel. Yeah.

17:25 But yeah, as you say, Sanya, she she finds that 1 ticket stub and

17:29 and from that 1 ticket stub, the natural endpoint for her is

17:33 flying to Moscow to confront her business trip.

17:38 But it's like she's like, you know what?

17:41 How about Paris like instead? Like, how about Paris instead?

17:45 I can get time off and just just just give you Paris.

17:48 And that's great. Just brilliant.

17:49 Well, I've got. Yeah, it's like, well, I'm going

17:51 to, I'm going to Moscow to, to as a, as a compliance officer in

17:55 Wall Street to, to interrogate these guys accounts.

17:58 It's it's, it's incredible. Are are you fucking the Russian

18:01 finance guys? Are you?

18:02 Yeah. Man, I was obviously so I I

18:07 watch this with Emma because I watch like pretty much every

18:10 film for this show with, with my wife and because because we're

18:14 inseparable and it's disgusting. But like she was like, yeah,

18:17 she's a bit like me in terms of like, if, if, if like I kind of

18:20 sometimes give any resistance to Emma Rod, anything.

18:23 Like if she says let's do something.

18:25 I said not right now. She'll be like what I'm hearing

18:27 is you hate me. What?

18:30 Why die? Why is it like?

18:33 What did I do wrong? And it's like, so once again,

18:36 this is like I, I have wife clearance to say this because

18:39 I'm not like making fun of her. She's she absolutely has cooled

18:41 me saying this. But that's, that's Kathy Mueller

18:44 in this film energy. It's like you're not going to

18:46 bin your job off and go to Paris with me.

18:49 What I'm getting is you're having an affair at cinemas and

18:52 you fucking hate me. You want me to die?

18:55 Gosh. Yeah, man.

18:59 Oh, yeah. Let's just do it right.

19:00 I don't, let's not lock ourselves into the sequential

19:03 order of the of the movie. Let's just let's just freewheel

19:05 this thing. OK.

19:06 So he's, he's been in Moscow. He's had that bathroom fight.

19:09 He's killed that dude. We'll talk about all those in

19:11 due course. But what happens is Kathy

19:13 Mueller calls him as he's like, fleeing around Moscow on foot,

19:17 terrified of every single taxi that he sees.

19:20 He hangs up on on the first time after he's like shot the guy in

19:23 the hotel. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

19:25 And then and then she's calling him and, and he's obviously got

19:28 like a lot of anxiety and saving his voice, but he's also trying

19:31 to play it cool. He rings like the CIA contact

19:35 centre. Yeah.

19:36 And and they give him the whole are you intact thing, which is

19:39 very much condos cruellest. Condor, yeah.

19:42 Do you think they've they've replaced that with a terrible AI

19:46 agent by now as well? Well.

19:47 It's also sorry. It's also It's also a Mission

19:49 Impossible because David Kepp also wrote the first Mission

19:51 Impossible. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

19:54 So, so if the TV series The Night Agent has anything to say

19:58 about it, it's it's still just a guy in a basement room with no

20:03 windows with a big fucking folder, like a big like

20:08 documents with, with code words and shit.

20:11 And like these like agents ring him and he's like flicking

20:15 through and they're giving him code words and shit.

20:16 And he's like, fuck my calls on that short life.

20:19 Yeah, then she's rocked up and she appears what she appears in

20:21 the hotel room in in, in Moscow. I just SAT like on the bed man

20:26 I'm that's creepy as fuck with his.

20:28 Gun next to her, indeed. A note that it's pointing at the

20:32 door. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

20:34 And then and then she's like, she does this whole like spiel

20:37 at him. Yeah.

20:39 And like the energy she says it with is like unhinged.

20:41 She's not like frantic or upset or like words up or crying.

20:45 She's like. Got a cold?

20:47 Kind of like this. This could end with you like

20:49 shooting me so. I dropped everything and I

20:54 called it every favour that I knew.

20:56 And I spent 4 hours at the consulate begging for a visa.

21:00 You know, I wanted to make this, this grand gesture.

21:03 I wanted you to see what you meant to me.

21:05 So I'm here and you have to say something.

21:12 Well, maybe it's maybe it's awful or hurtful or shameful.

21:17 I don't know. But.

21:19 You have to talk to me. You can't let me think that I'm

21:23 crazy anymore, because now I know that I'm not.

21:30 Just talk to me. Will you meet me halfway?

21:35 I'm in. The CRA thank.

21:53 You brilliant in this film? Honestly, I think she's a

21:58 brilliant Kathy Ryan. She's she's just so fucking

22:02 pissed off. But is that, is that who Kathy

22:04 Ryan's meant to be? I mean, I guess she is in the

22:07 books, right? Tell me about Kathy Ryan in the

22:08 books. Kathy Ryan.

22:10 'S a lot more kind of opinionated and fierce about

22:12 things in the books and like sure, like even even in even in

22:19 the pair and the dragon Jack Ryan President Jack Ryan is, is

22:24 having to smoke cigarettes secretly like like he's got a

22:28 tab habit that he keeps from his wife because he's scared of her.

22:32 She's a doctor, right? Like that makes sense.

22:34 Yeah, but, but, but, but also she's like a Catholic trot wife.

22:39 He was going to fucking hit him with like a spoon or whatever,

22:42 you know. And it's like, but I'm like

22:46 she's like, like she's not like a shrinking Violet in the books.

22:48 Like and she gives Jack Ryan shit and pushes back at him, you

22:52 know, when he's when he's out lying and stuff, as far as I

22:55 recall. So I like her in this even not

22:59 as a Kathy Ryan, even as just a character in general.

23:02 It's there's a stark difference as well from when Ben Affleck

23:06 Jack Ryan tells Kathy that he said the CIA and the some of all

23:10 feels like what goes it goes straight on Reddit and posts a

23:14 thread about it and but Kathy Ryan in this is like, Oh my God,

23:19 thank fuck. I thought you were having an

23:20 affair. It's like about it now the gun

23:23 makes sense. Right.

23:24 OK. Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, exactly.

23:26 Yeah. It's like because, I mean, it's

23:28 a whole different ball game. If you're off, if you go into

23:31 Moscow to have an affair and you've put a fucking sidearm

23:34 with you, right? That's.

23:35 Yeah, well, that sounds like maybe sex tourism.

23:38 Yeah, that really does. It's like fucking hell, but it's

23:42 like, I'm a passport bro. I was so worried about you.

23:46 I thought, why did you go to Thailand?

23:48 Like so much more dangerous in Moscow.

23:53 OK, anyway, let's circle back to Kira.

23:57 Like his reaction to finding out that Jack Ryan's in the CIA

24:00 because I want to go back to Jack Ryan's recruitment to the

24:02 CIA first, which is an incredible scene where he's he's

24:05 he's done rehab and watching really obviously from a

24:09 mezzanine floor, which is all panel of the glass is, is Kevin

24:13 Costner as commander top at U.S. Navy and he's talking to

24:17 somebody off the screen. I don't, I can't remember who

24:19 he's talking to going like, tell me about this kid.

24:22 And this guy's like he's a Lieutenant, the US Marines and

24:25 he, he wrote a report when he's at School of Economics about

24:29 money. And they wrote another report

24:30 when he was in the Marines about.

24:33 Traffic patterns. Traffic patterns in Holmand, all

24:36 of it. And he's like, so do you want to

24:38 recruit him? Was like, I want to talk to him

24:39 not today, but soon. And then, like the next scene,

24:42 they're talking, but this time, like Kevin Costner has rocked up

24:45 in like, he's nose ones. And then like Chris Pines, like,

24:47 Christ, Chris Mann's like, why the uniform this time?

24:50 And he's like, what do you mean? He's like, you were watching me

24:53 the other day. And it's like, my God, Jack Ryan

24:56 is such an observant, intelligent guy.

24:58 He's spotted the guy who was stood directly in front of him

25:01 in front of a giant placed glass window looking down on him while

25:04 he was doing exercise. Well, you see, the reason he

25:06 spotted him was because you hadn't taken the Percocets yet,

25:08 so. His mind was still.

25:10 Clear Don't. Don't do drugs, kids.

25:13 Because he's a Marine. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah and then

25:17 and then then Kevin cost was like I just want to thank you

25:20 for your service. OK, That's like yeah imagine if

25:26 my if my boss rang me and was like Mike, how you doing?

25:30 Yeah, I'm good. Thanks yeah What's going on?

25:32 Just want to thank you for your service mate that your.

25:35 Response is like thanks you too. Yeah, thank.

25:38 Thank you too. Yeah, thank you for your

25:40 service. Yeah.

25:41 OK, cool. Is this circle jerk over there

25:42 like what the fuck? Yeah, right.

25:44 So. What's so?

25:45 What's the real reason you called me?

25:47 Yeah, well, about that report anyway.

25:50 So, yeah, Yeah. So that happens.

25:53 And then and then Kevin course is all like, right.

25:56 I actually, I want to recruit you for the CIA because he he

25:59 does that. And then he goes for then Jack

26:01 Ryan goes for a run. And as he's out for a run in the

26:03 in the piston rain, he sees him again in a darkened room, stood

26:06 there imposedly in a darkened room.

26:07 So he enters the room to talk to him and he's like, why are you

26:10 watching me? And he's like, I've been the

26:12 CIA. And I want to repeat you.

26:14 I heard that. I saw that work you did.

26:15 And it was astounding. It was incredible.

26:17 And I think you should be in the CIA.

26:19 And then and then Jack Ryan's like, oh, the CIA aren't aren't

26:23 you guys like really bad for torturing people and rendition

26:27 and like, you know, installing dictatorships in South America,

26:31 death squads in the death squads.

26:34 Are you just generally or you know, just a general like force

26:37 for evil in this post 911 world? And, and, and Kevin Goza says my

26:42 favourite thing in the movie, which is that's not our unit.

26:46 My unit is a different. My unit is in a different say.

26:48 It goes to a different school. Actually, it's from Canada.

26:50 Actually. My say, hey, my say only stops

26:54 9/11's happening again. I'm like, what do you think that

26:56 the torturer guys are trying to do?

26:59 You all think you're doing the right thing.

27:03 It's incredible. I was like, no, that's the guys

27:05 down the hall, that's the, that's the rendition and torture

27:07 at the parliament. We don't talk to those guys.

27:10 We're on a different softball team.

27:12 Yeah. Jack, do you talk to the guys

27:14 from HR? Man.

27:17 We're we're on different sittings for lunchtime, yeah.

27:20 I don't even know those guys. Yeah, they're on.

27:21 They're on 1st sitting, We're on 2nd sitting.

27:24 None of the waterboarding guys are going to be your line

27:25 manager. Like don't worry about it.

27:27 Don't worry about it, but it's fine.

27:28 Don't worry about it. It's.

27:30 Cool. Anyway, we we are in a secret

27:32 nerds department of the CIA where we hire nerds to look at

27:35 money. And since you've got a

27:37 qualifications and money and you're a Marine, you're the guy

27:40 for the job. And then we kept like 10 years

27:42 later, he was working on Wall Street.

27:45 And he hasn't aged at all. He hasn't aged at all.

27:47 Yeah, 10 years later and he looks exactly the same.

27:49 Yeah, so good. You see, that's like the CIA

27:53 anti ageing technology that they put in him, you know?

27:57 Yeah, yeah. Yeah, they just make a bit of

27:59 mortal like the like, like the still the thing, like the like

28:02 you're driving the CIA and the shoot you just in case you're a

28:04 Highlander Eskimo, which is why the CIA is just full of these

28:08 like undying guys with catanas and ponytails.

28:11 Well, yeah, right. Yeah, the same same price for

28:14 Keira Knightley as well. This one's from 2014.

28:16 So let me just do some quick maths.

28:18 She was 17 when they filmed Love, actually 17 plus that was

28:23 in 2000. So probably plus plus 14, you

28:26 know, like 30 odds, which means that she should be in her 40s by

28:30 the time we're in the current timeline.

28:32 Yeah. Yeah, I'm not getting that vibe.

28:35 Be a woman and and remain so. So yeah, it's sort of weird

28:37 about women's appearances, but no one's aged is 1 trying to get

28:40 to including Kevin Costner as well.

28:44 It just doesn't even like hang a lampshade on it.

28:46 It just kind of like let's you buy into the fact that all these

28:50 people are just like Pret and naturally youthful.

28:52 It's not like in, it isn't it isn't like in like previous Jack

28:56 Ryan films when like Admiral Greer gets old and dies, you

29:00 know, it's like, Nope, eternal American youth.

29:05 I don't know what right and they only did this because they had

29:07 to have 911 being the inciting incident for his joining of the

29:10 military. Yeah.

29:12 But like, you didn't have to join the day 9/11 happened, do

29:15 you know what I mean? Yeah, I can.

29:18 I can just imagine because like he's in London as well.

29:21 Like it's imagine, like rock it up to the US Embassy and being

29:24 like, get me on a fucking plane. And they're like, step right

29:29 aboard, son. You're halfway through a

29:31 dissertation at the LSA. Oh, we're going to send you to

29:34 Marine school, man. You're on to the islands.

29:38 A lot of people come here so they can get degrees, and you're

29:40 bidding off your degree to be here, OK.

29:42 Fucking amazed that it's like, yes, you're a wild one my

29:46 friend. You're going to do so much

29:48 writing about traffic. God, you're going to write an

29:52 incredible book about this. Oh Jesus Christ.

29:56 Which his senior officers won't read, but the CIA will.

30:00 So the CIA is essentially spying on American troops, right?

30:04 Yeah, that's quite well at. This point because I just.

30:07 Keep submitting the same report like like like a hastener to be

30:10 senior officers. I wrote this and he got.

30:12 Flagged. I got flagged by the algos.

30:14 Put my head. Yeah.

30:15 Because, right. Anyway, while he's in Wall

30:18 Street, he's doing his compliance officer job, working

30:22 on his own. Nobody knows he's in the CIA.

30:23 He just thinks he's working for some firm.

30:25 And he does some type E, type E. And his and his mate who's a

30:30 total fuck boy turns up on. Like just a try boy too.

30:33 Hard, but a bike. And he's like, Oh yeah, you're

30:36 going to yeah, Maddie, want to try and fuck that girl from

30:37 arbitrage, Right. And it's like, yeah, man, can

30:41 you? It's mad.

30:43 He's just so sharp. It takes a special breed of

30:46 person. It's not messed up.

30:48 Yeah, it takes a special breed of person to keep working on

30:50 Wall Street after 2008. He's just incredibly built

30:55 different. There he is, like in his little

30:59 levers and his little motorbike and he's like, he wouldn't even

31:02 know the girl's name. He's just like that girl I like

31:04 and. Yeah, it's like, oh, this, this,

31:06 there's a girl. I really want to smash an

31:07 arbitrage. I'm going to get a get a

31:09 motorbike and tracks like, yeah, named Sarah, by the way, just

31:12 now we've got a motorbike. You're totally going to.

31:14 What the fuck? Man, I don't understand.

31:16 I don't understand about Wall St, bro.

31:18 Can't. Can't talk to a girl.

31:20 That's just a strange combination of factors.

31:24 That's so weird and and like almost like kind like

31:26 whitewashers. Wall Street reputation is just

31:29 like a bunch of high speed cranked up dudes who love Laco

31:35 Carina are the fucking decadent, and this is just one guy who's a

31:38 little bit of a clumsy fuck boy. Yeah, man, so strange.

31:43 I know a few people in the obviously I know a lot of

31:45 officers and they because I'm one of them.

31:47 But I've known and a few who joined and then left because

31:50 they were just doing it for a few years to sort of develop a

31:53 bit of ACV. But then they were like, I don't

31:57 think I like it anymore because it's, you know, it's a hard and

31:59 unpleasant job a lot of the time.

32:01 So he was like, I don't think I don't think I like it anymore.

32:03 I think I'm just going to go and work in the city.

32:04 What you had that as an option. You could just wander in and

32:08 make a shit, tell him Canary Wharf or whatever.

32:09 And then just like in the city. And then just like, that's

32:12 something that's two people. I know at least you were just

32:14 like, you know what, I'm going to Jack in being another gay

32:16 because it's difficult. And instead, I'm going to just

32:18 handle shits of money for banks instead.

32:21 Good grief. Good grief.

32:22 Yeah, Good grief. Indeed.

32:24 Anyway, he finds a bunch of anomalies in some Russian

32:26 markets, all linking to a firm by a guy owned by this guy

32:31 Chevron, who is Kenneth Brunner. And he basically has to go to

32:37 Moscow to check it out. So he has this discussion with

32:41 Keira Knightley about how he has to go to Moscow.

32:42 And she's like, what was the end of this movie you were looking

32:45 at? And.

32:47 So I want to circle back to this film.

32:49 Jack, who are your? Fucking you're hiding three

32:53 different women under the floorboards, aren't you?

32:56 He's a super marriage pillar as well.

32:57 So like he keeps saying, he keeps saying like, well, look,

33:00 it wouldn't be a big deal if we were just married.

33:02 What would you get married? It wouldn't be a big deal if we

33:03 were married. Like why you worried so much?

33:05 Just marry me already. And it's like.

33:06 But I mean, he wants to, like, it's like, gets explained later

33:09 that he wants to marry us so he can tell her he's in the CIA.

33:12 Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

33:14 Seems like a bit of an arbitrary distinction, but yeah.

33:19 So he goes to, he goes to Moscow.

33:20 He's met at the airport by a big burly bodyguard dude who drives

33:26 into his hotel and they're having and there's a bit that

33:29 I'm sure you're going to talk about in a bit, mate, where he

33:31 there's a big table full of handguns and he has and he shows

33:34 a little Chevron card and picks up his handgun in the airport on

33:37 the way out. I'm eagerly awaiting the rundown

33:41 of every single handgun on that table.

33:43 I'm not going to rundown on every single handgun on that

33:45 table, but I do have a few comments to make though.

33:47 Good fun. And then he gets to gets to gets

33:50 to the gets to the hotel and he should and he's like, I've got

33:53 to check the room first. So they go in the room together

33:56 and it's like, look at that view isn't an incredible view.

33:58 And it's Moscow. And obviously the reason this

33:59 whole movie happened at all was that because they were allowed

34:02 to film in Moscow for a bit, because they've got lots and

34:03 lots of location footage of Moscow.

34:06 Cool. And then the guy tries to kill

34:08 him and there's a big fight sequence and there's a big

34:10 bathroom fight. I love a bathroom fight.

34:12 I love a bathroom fight. One of the better bathroom

34:15 fights that we've actually watched.

34:17 Yeah, I think. Yeah.

34:20 I was talking about when we were doing the Firefox episode, we

34:22 were talking about maybe doing like a power ranking of bathroom

34:24 fights. And this one didn't even feature

34:25 on my list because I didn't didn't, didn't remember it.

34:28 But actually, it's a pretty good bathroom fight, right?

34:30 Yeah, yeah, we'll have to start ranting them because it's a

34:33 great bathroom fight. There's there's also because

34:35 there's a 11 the Mission Impossibles, right Fallout.

34:39 I am sure there's a really brutal one in Shaft in Africa.

34:42 Wow, OK. I mean, it might be, it might be

34:45 a misfire on here, but I kind of do remember there being like a

34:49 brutal bathroom fight scene Shaft in Africa.

34:51 Richard Roundtree just beaten some guy to death, which is you

34:55 always love to see it. Yeah.

34:58 A friend of mine sent me with X zero contacts the clip from like

35:01 a Russian action film of the grimiest and most insane

35:06 bathroom fight scene I may have sent you one night when I was

35:09 drinking actually. You sent it to me last year.

35:11 Yeah, but I remember. It's fucking nuts like this.

35:15 Like vibrator was used as a weapon.

35:18 At one point the protagonist pisses on his enemy because his

35:22 enemy jumps somebody's at the urinal and it's like there's a

35:25 lot going on in that scene. I had I had zero contacts to say

35:29 my friend like texted us up one night and then like out of the

35:32 comment wise piss attack and it's like so yeah, fuck me bud.

35:39 What else? We got Casino Royale.

35:41 We've got Eastern Promises, almost certainly the rare I

35:43 can't remember. There's a there's a pretty

35:46 decent bathroom gunfight in that ridiculous Arnold Schwarzenegger

35:49 one that would want to do a clear and present bruise episode

35:52 on True Lies. True Lies, yeah, yeah.

35:56 Bathroom gonna fight in the punch up, but it's got some

35:58 great kind of comedy beats. So when we get into the when we

36:01 get into the bathroom fights, right guys?

36:02 Here's what I propose. OK, I think one of the scoring

36:05 criteria has to be do they use the features of the bathroom in

36:09 a unique fighting capacity? So you know exactly an

36:13 environmental kill using a sink or a shower or a bath or a

36:16 shower curtain or a toilet brush or any of the item you might

36:20 find in the bathroom. The.

36:21 Hard dryer. Hand dryer.

36:23 Electric toothbrush. Jason Airblade electric

36:26 toothbrush. Gorot, somebody with some floss.

36:28 What what are those? What are those machines that

36:30 sells like condoms and sex pills and stuff like that?

36:34 You just, you just like smash a guy's face against that.

36:36 It floods his like throat with like those Borna pills and he

36:40 chokes a. Guy has a heart attack because

36:42 he has too much Gorana in his system.

36:44 Oh. My God, do you think it's actual

36:45 real Gorana? In those I was just like dust.

36:48 So it gets real. Gorana, you're tasting right

36:50 now. Son, you don't know Jack.

36:55 You don't know how deep the rabbit hole goes.

36:57 The the the Sainsbury's toilet burn uphill rabbit hole.

37:03 This is a fucking weird episode. Welcome.

37:05 To the world that is surreal, OK.

37:11 Snake snake, you've got to activate the burn uphill

37:14 machine. What is something I learned from

37:19 one of my enemies? OK, anyway, I like this bathroom

37:25 fight because he drowns the guy in the bath, which is horrible

37:28 for the guy, but a pretty pretty cool, inventive way to dispatch

37:31 a foe. I really like how we how he

37:35 drowns him and like a small about the water as well as kind

37:38 of coming up and he's fighting them and there's this real look

37:42 of exertion on on Chris Pine's face.

37:45 You know, it's a fucking great action scene.

37:47 Actually I really enjoyed. It I like it because I mean,

37:50 after this we have but we have all the the food is the condo

37:53 stuff we're talking about. And we have the bit where he

37:56 phones Cathy and explains. Well, he doesn't explain

37:58 anything. He hangs upon her and she's like

38:00 he must be having an affair because he said he was he was

38:03 really jetlag not to go and he wants to call me in the morning.

38:06 Oh my God, he must be used to be about to go and fuck a hooker.

38:10 And then and then he meets up with Kevin Costner on the park

38:13 bench and Kevin Costner he's got like a Oh man, what do they call

38:17 it? It's like a special action dog.

38:19 It's a it's a quasi personal dog that he's he's stealing from

38:25 someone's yard. A bit of trade craft, steal a

38:27 dog and. And it's the same sitting, so

38:30 the. Publication with it.

38:31 And it's, and it's sitting so calmly as well.

38:33 And it's like, that's not behaving like a stolen dog.

38:36 And that's. Surely, surely stealing

38:38 someone's dog is a bad thing to do as a spy because now when

38:41 people are out looking for the dog and showing, showing his

38:43 name and stuff and you're sat in a public place.

38:45 So people are real. It's it's not ultimately

38:46 attracting people towards you because they're going to go

38:48 like, why have you got my fucking dog?

38:50 Yeah, and and Kevin Costner probably isn't working under

38:55 legal cover, right? He's not.

38:57 He's because I mean, it's your. Mission, should you choose to

39:00 accept it, is to steal this beautiful dog from someone's

39:03 front garden. You'll be disavowed if detected.

39:06 Well, he would, that's the thing.

39:06 He's an illegal, he would be disavowed.

39:08 He hasn't got like fucking embassy cover or whatever, you

39:11 know, like he's he's not a quote unquote diplomat.

39:13 So he's gotten fucking disappeared.

39:15 He's getting taken out in the woods and getting doomed.

39:17 There's no reason for my steal someone's dog yet.

39:20 It's so funny how also like I sort of chill and fucking like

39:23 just calm. The dog is like you've been

39:26 stolen from some fucking Muscovites garden.

39:30 I also love these in like the middle of a very urbanised city

39:34 and there's a backyard with a dog in it.

39:36 Yeah. Another thing I don't

39:37 understand, for Kevin Costner's rules, this is like where does

39:42 he sit in the organisation? So he's in a, he's in a state

39:44 where he's in first name terms of the president of United

39:47 States and they've got like witty banter flying around all

39:49 the time. At the same time at the CIA he

39:52 has like unit level command, which isn't that big because

39:56 he's obviously my unit. My unit does financial and nerdy

39:59 crime. That doesn't sound like a very

40:00 big or important part of the CIA.

40:02 It's more than. Yeah.

40:06 He's not like a deputy director. That that kind of stuff.

40:08 Wouldn't that like get bend off like other subordinate like

40:12 departments and shit? If it's like financial crime

40:14 effect in the US, wouldn't like an FBI kind of thing or like an

40:17 NSA kind of thing? Maybe probably, I don't know.

40:19 But I mean, the, the real truth is that he's in the IMF, you

40:24 know? Exactly.

40:25 That's that's that's why he's not the team that does like, you

40:29 know, the renditions water board and with testicular torsion.

40:33 He's he's in the team that does. I know, I know, somebody got

40:37 testicular torsion once. We're in an exercise in

40:39 Dartmoor. Jesus Christ.

40:41 Not the worst particular torsion story I've got from the Navy,

40:44 anyway. Got a worse one.

40:48 Let's spit it. Okay?

40:49 Right, So okay, here we go. So.

40:54 Welcome to Welcome to ball chat with clear and present dudes.

40:56 They were looking at the terrible things that happened

40:58 with man's testicular region. Right.

41:00 OK, so this story goes back to HMS Raleigh, which is the phase

41:04 one training establishment for junior rights in the Royal Navy.

41:07 I went through that myself a long time ago and somebody else

41:09 went there. And what is right is you have a

41:11 various duties you've got to hold in the training block that

41:14 you're all accommodated in, right?

41:15 They're just things to do in anything to keep occupied,

41:17 basically. Like one of them is you've got

41:20 to manage the visitor log on the door to your building.

41:25 Nobody comes to your building. So you're just there feeling

41:27 every time someone comes in out, you could basically write their

41:29 name down again, sign it. And it's just like, why?

41:32 It's just people going to the NAFI, coming back from the NAFI

41:34 and stuff. Just just busy body shit.

41:36 But it's preparing you for being AQM, the gangway, I suppose.

41:39 Not that you write everything down.

41:41 OK, whatever. Anyway, this.

41:42 So we do like evening cleaning stations, which is like a quick

41:45 20 minutes clean of everything. Everyone has their little place

41:47 they go to hence stations. And I used to do like actually

41:50 like buff the floor because used to get covered in like, like

41:54 rubber marks from from our boots every single day.

41:57 And twice a day I have to go and rub them all off again with with

41:59 like steel, wood and a bit of brass.

42:00 So it was a fucking stupid job. Anyway.

42:03 One guy's job was like taking all the gas out from all the gas

42:06 bins and throwing them into the skipper on the back in the

42:08 courtyard. And one time this guy did it,

42:10 but he had like heavy bags and he had to jump up to like throw

42:14 the bags into the bin. And when he jumped up, he was

42:17 like, he jumped up and like made contact with the bin, right?

42:20 And on the big skip that there was, there was a big jitty bit

42:23 of rusty metal, like sticking off it.

42:26 And on the return journey down, it went up his scrotum through

42:30 his trousers. And he was like, and then he and

42:33 then the next thing anyone saw was the guy coming into like the

42:36 quad and the little jitty bod who was like filling everyone's

42:39 names saw him. And he kind of walked into the

42:41 room holding his like his hand around his groyne, OK, covered

42:46 in blood. And his two testes were like in

42:49 his hand having exited his scrutum.

42:51 And he kind of like did that showed him and then like

42:54 collapsed on the floor. And then everyone's like

42:56 screaming, crying, throwing up. And the ambulance came but.

43:00 Yeah, you see, Cathy, Cathy Muller, witness that automatic

43:03 knowledge. Go Stage 3, isn't it?

43:04 You die. You got what, two months to

43:08 live? Your your skin's looking a bit

43:10 yellow there. Incredibly not sallow looking

43:13 person at all. Spider web Blunt things in the

43:17 back of your hands painted in the last scene, Yeah.

43:19 God, gorgeous great man. Didn't know I was talking to

43:22 Super dark. Holy shit.

43:25 I am honestly the biggest Kathy Bueller Stan, and I'm getting

43:28 for you, bigger Kathy Bueller Stan.

43:30 Specifically this one as we're going through this episode, by

43:32 the way. Wild be a struck what I was

43:35 talking about Yeah, so they're on the they're on the park

43:37 bench. They're talking away came across

43:39 this hall. But like the first person I

43:40 killed blah blah, blah, blah, blah.

43:42 And it's like who was he? He's like it was a she oh we've

43:45 got a bad ass over here and then and then they have a little chat

43:50 and he says to him like you're not a land list.

43:52 You're operational now, which I think is I'd be like entering a

43:56 service complaint, they reflected in my annual report,

43:59 like operating with you on my tours.

44:02 It's like, I like how we specifically ads as well.

44:06 She wasn't like she was innocent.

44:08 She was like a bystander like she was, she was a fucking

44:11 bystander. And he still remained in the

44:13 CIA. Sounds like you're not very good

44:16 at your job, Kevin Guster. At least in the Jack Ryan

44:19 series, to have this background thing of how Jim Grier straight

44:24 up threw somebody out of a window and that's why he got

44:27 sick. The kind of shit assignments and

44:30 they get like he's like, isn't the thing that Jim, Jim Grier

44:34 was in line for like the Moscow job, but then he threw somebody

44:37 out of a window and like Turkey or Pakistan or something and

44:40 then like actually Jim, you fuck now, mate, eventually does get

44:42 the Moscow job. Yeah, he just got the Moscow job

44:44 eventually, but. Yeah, yeah, he gets it because

44:47 the storyline needs him again, basically.

44:51 Yeah, like, what the fuck? So basically, yeah, this guy

44:54 kills an innocent civilian. Really bad luck for the CIA

44:58 here, by the way. Incredibly bad.

45:00 She came up behind him too quick.

45:04 What does this mean? Kill his wife or something?

45:08 Did he? Did he did like his daughter?

45:10 Go like, oh dad, you're back from work.

45:13 He turns around just like a name is your neck.

45:15 Snap on her. He's gone from never killing

45:18 anyone before to killing somebody who sneaked up on him

45:21 or just was behind him rapidly. Jesus Christ.

45:24 Oh no, no, like. I've got to kind of start a

45:28 reaction sometimes, but like just there's like a million what

45:35 happened to my mate, how he killed her.

45:36 You know, he did do the job. Or like he just like rips out a

45:40 phone karambit or something like slices them open and it's like,

45:43 shit, you're just like my elderly neighbour who who was

45:46 about to be on the shore like she needs help with a car or

45:48 something. And it's like, I hope this

45:50 doesn't affect my high-powered job in the fucking CIA.

45:54 Did it even happen at work? Oh my God, probably.

45:57 Some random unmedicated 20 year old on her way back to college

46:01 or something. It's like she stopped walking up

46:04 behind me. It's like Oh my God.

46:05 I mean followed stop. Specifically said unmedicated as

46:10 well. I might know someone who might

46:13 fit that description. Unmedicated is right though,

46:16 because you've got to keep taking those anti CIA pills.

46:18 Does dark as big as big as big as if you're full of like the

46:22 contrast CIA and all that. Can't attack you, can't stab

46:25 you. Well, somebody who is full of

46:28 contrasial is Kathy Ryan, who confronts Jack in his hotel

46:33 meeting after this and is delighted to find out that Jack

46:36 is in the CIA. Because obviously she has.

46:40 She has fewer qualms about it than Jack himself.

46:43 Who's inside. Yeah.

46:46 They could. And cool also be in the CIA.

46:48 When's when's the next mandatory fund day?

46:51 When's the next company BBQ? I want to meet all your Co

46:53 workers. I want to be a CIA wife.

46:55 I want to, I want to like, tell people to like, call me by your

46:58 rank, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

47:01 Can I can I put like CIA spouse on my CD if you?

47:06 Can I put a CIA bumper stick I run by Prius?

47:09 She's in the HOA and she's going to be turned over.

47:12 It's like if you don't repaint your bins, my husband is going

47:14 to make you disappear. It's more like if you don't

47:17 repaint your shit, my husband's boss is just going to kill you

47:21 with a combat knife for being too close to him.

47:25 That's insane. Yeah.

47:27 He's like, I'm in the CIA. Thank God.

47:30 I think I started laughing before she even said I thought

47:32 you were having an affair. So I just was laughing really

47:34 hard at the idea she was going. Thank God you're in the say.

47:36 Like what the fuck? It is.

47:38 It is like, let's face a fucking safeguard.

47:41 It's an absolute male fantasy to like that, that it's like kind

47:45 of catering to to tell the woman you've got a really fucked up

47:48 secret and goes off that fuck for that.

47:50 Get in. So glad you told me that I'm not

47:53 angry at all for you hiding this world for an entire 10 year

47:55 relationship. Yeah, you've been lying to me

47:58 for a decade after I helped you literally back on your feet,

48:02 literally walk again. You've not given me the fucking

48:05 respect and dignity to break the CI as rules, rules that they're

48:09 breaking by giving the fucking Barretta and telling you to kill

48:12 people. By the way, you're an analyst.

48:13 And like, she's like, oh, thank God for that matter.

48:16 I feel so fucking respected and so goddamn cherished.

48:19 Thank you, John. It's insane.

48:21 Yeah. It's catering to a particular

48:23 fantasy, isn't it, of even for guys in the military.

48:25 There is one of the funniest scenes in the movie, which is

48:29 Kathy Ryan just getting drafted into the mission now because

48:32 she's here. It's wild but but like before

48:35 that just quickly skip back. We've got the scene when he

48:38 meets to Raven for the first time.

48:40 What's my Internet? Yeah.

48:41 And and to have this like proper, like fucking like super

48:44 villain, kind of like conversation, which this is one

48:47 of the points when it really doesn't feel like a track Ryan

48:49 movie. Yeah.

48:51 You know, it's like a Bond movie, doesn't it?

48:52 Yeah, and yeah, yeah, it doesn't feels like a Bond movie.

48:55 And so there's a whole that kind of back and forth.

48:59 Oh, you know, I don't know where my where BB.

49:03 Dang, my fucking security guy's gone.

49:06 No, he'll come back hungover and remorseful.

49:08 It's like you fucking killed him.

49:09 The track Ryan fucking makes himself by saying, oh wow, well,

49:13 I was well, I was injured in fucking Afghanistan.

49:16 And you know, like sheriff and cigar.

49:17 Yes, me too. Same same same empire was it

49:20 Same graveyard, different empires?

49:22 It was, it was. It was like a different time,

49:24 different empire, same graveyard.

49:26 Yeah, yeah. And my sons too.

49:28 Which doesn't make sense. Doesn't make sense.

49:30 Doesn't, doesn't, doesn't, doesn't fit.

49:33 Doesn't make any sense. That's evidence of a rewrite, I

49:36 think. Yeah, I was plenty of that, I

49:37 think. And it's got my grenade on his

49:41 desk as well. And it's like, your grenade is

49:45 my grenade. And I'm like, am I?

49:47 Yes, that's M 67. That's an American grenade.

49:51 It's roughly the size of a baseball.

49:52 We've been through this already. We have been through this

49:56 already. It could be propelled by one of

49:59 the Imfs man. Portable, easily broken down.

50:03 Fucking mobile tactical baseball pitching machines.

50:08 We've covered this. You are Americans, you think you

50:12 are direct, but perhaps you are just rude.

50:15 Which is wild because like, Slavic people have like the

50:18 reputation of being incredibly the most fucking direct about

50:22 things, right? The.

50:22 Most the most quote direct people I've ever been a life of

50:25 all being Easter European. Yeah, I mean, I fucking spend

50:29 between 5:00 to 9:00 days a week sitting next to a Ukrainian guy

50:33 at work and yeah, they are. They do not beat around any kind

50:36 of fucking Bush. I don't.

50:37 We are lying. I thought an SMCG 1 deployment

50:41 in 2020 and one of the weeks during it was a Polish pass X

50:44 and there was a Polish OPS officer on the battle staff and

50:47 routinely every week he would call me and be like, hey, Mike,

50:50 it's I thought your name is actually.

50:52 So that's a shame. He was like, hey, Mike, I just

50:54 remind you your Sid Diaglabs are shit.

50:56 And I was like, what? What do you mean, man?

50:59 Like you're not using the proper format.

51:01 I'm like, send me the format then and I'll use it.

51:03 But in the meantime, you're going to keep getting the shit.

51:04 It's every single day, mate. I'm not like it's every.

51:08 Day, bro. Like every single day, it's

51:11 like. Fucking amazing.

51:13 At some point I'm going to like roll my hands up here like

51:15 unless you've got a better format mate by my CEO signing

51:17 off of these and we can fuck. Yeah, and and then Jack's like,

51:22 Oh well, you Russians think you're poets and stuff, but, and

51:25 I forget like the the last bit of that sentence, but it's like

51:29 you think you're poets and whatever, but you just stand up

51:31 pussies or non American or whatever.

51:34 Oh, ridiculous. Then there's the This isn't Geo

51:37 couples therapy, it's geopolitics.

51:39 Yeah, that's brilliant. What's like we We've got 8

51:42 minutes to make this plot. We've wasted four of them.

51:46 Yeah, that's wild. Like Eat fucking Kevin Costner

51:50 does get some of the best. The lines he has often don't

51:53 make sense, but they are bars. Some of his lines are quotable.

51:57 Most of his lines are like that. There's loser lines in this

51:59 movie where it's like it's a piffy little line, but I'm like,

52:02 you won't be able to say it. Yeah.

52:03 So how Sharif and returned? Somehow Sharif and returned yeah

52:08 so they're doing this plan and right they're in a they're in a

52:10 safe house and their plan is question mark.

52:13 I zoomed out so bad. I think, I think, I think

52:15 there's like, he's made plans to go to dinner with Shraven.

52:18 He's bringing his wife Kathy along because Shraven is aware

52:21 that cafe's around before he even was aware.

52:23 And yeah, they're going to. Because Shraven's a fucking home

52:27 bracker and he loves having sex with married women.

52:29 Exactly right. And he's like, ah, so someone's

52:31 observing your hotel and knows that your wife's here.

52:33 I'm a really bizarrely horny man, you know?

52:36 Yeah, yeah, for a guy he's about to fucking die, by the way.

52:40 He's he's he's just say keeping track of his body count is like

52:43 trying, like he's, he's probably got a mate from from the Afghan

52:47 war That's, that's had sex and more women than him.

52:50 And he's like keeping tally. And on his last day, he's like,

52:53 yeah, Sergey Ivanovich, I beat you 273.

52:59 I'm going to shoot myself now. Yeah.

53:02 Man, I would do the voice but I feel like that's only one of the

53:04 meerkats from the advert. Fucking hell.

53:07 Right. So I think that part is they're

53:11 going to like steal his wallet and then in that wallet is like

53:14 an access card. And then they're going to go

53:15 into his building where he works, and they're going to

53:17 unlock a. Yeah.

53:19 Vault of some kind and hack into a computer and steal some

53:22 packets of data about accounts or something.

53:25 They need to plug something into the mains electricity and that's

53:28 going to let them access the laptop.

53:30 And it's like Tom Clancy was alive when this film was being

53:34 made, but you can tell he just didn't give a fuck.

53:38 Yeah, man. Yeah, exactly.

53:41 I think this is the thing I think this movie might not have.

53:44 I've got no evidence to put this up with, right?

53:46 But bringing David kept on board, I think he had like no

53:50 inkling of a tad of respect for the any Tom Clancy source

53:53 material at all. It was just like, I'm going to

53:55 make a generic spy movie and we're going to slap the the Jack

53:58 Ryan branding on it and turn it into an origin story for Jack

54:01 Ryan and have another crack at making this franchise a thing.

54:04 Because it doesn't, it doesn't feel like a Jack Ryan or a Tom

54:07 Clancy product because there's nowhere near dense and stupid

54:09 enough. Yeah, it's just like a pretty

54:12 standard. We're going to do a little heist

54:13 and I'll be that. That's it.

54:14 It's a heist movie, primarily with with fake, what feels like

54:18 a terrorism subplot tacked on. That, as I said, shouldn't be a

54:20 subplot. It should be.

54:22 There should be two ear plots, right?

54:24 Yeah, I feel like strongest bit of this movie is the dinner

54:28 scenes with. That's great.

54:30 Yeah, that's the best bit where like, Jack Ryan is overacting

54:35 and being drunk and obnoxious and boorish to get to a point

54:39 where he can, like, it's basically tool, I want to fuck

54:42 off so he can go off and do his mission.

54:44 Yeah. And then?

54:45 Like pickpocket and kind of like drop off thing of the wallet

54:48 which is pretty fucking slick. Absolutely.

54:50 And then? Shriven's like we're going to

54:52 fuck. Exactly.

54:53 And it's the Shriven and Kathy scenes that I think are

54:56 brilliant. Kathy is like just so up for

54:59 this and another reason why I think Kathy's a bit fucking

55:02 mental because she is so up to this from the off.

55:05 Like she's, she's went from like you're in the CIA to I'm in the

55:08 CIA. She, she is literally this

55:10 point, a better field agent than him.

55:13 You know what it is? This this this is more like a

55:15 Mary Pot Foley origin story, really.

55:18 Yeah, man, like she's like a proper, she's being a real honey

55:21 drop here. Yeah, just just just doing

55:23 proper cowboy shit in Russia against the Russians.

55:27 That's that's like the shit Mary Pot Foley was doing and Cardinal

55:30 the Kremlin, you know, Yeah. That's a cool pull.

55:34 Yes. We have the soul sequence with

55:35 like Kathy Ryan talking to Shereeven and that's when she's

55:38 like, how advanced is your cirrhosis?

55:40 And she like diagnosis them across the table and they talk

55:44 like about Russian literature and they.

55:46 Yeah, that she kind of, yeah, there's a bit of a bit of

55:49 backwards for, there's a bit of bit of bit of sexual tension

55:51 potentially brewing, certainly from, from horny old Shereeven

55:55 side at least. And she's doing such a good job

55:58 of it that she's getting like phone, he's getting calls and

56:00 stuff and he's like ignoring them so you can keep talking to

56:02 her and stuff. Much, much, much like Jack

56:05 ignored her phone call earlier. So it's like.

56:08 Perfect. The heist kind of happens.

56:11 I don't really like there's, there's there's a lot of tension

56:14 in it, I guess, because it's like, you know, he's got a good

56:17 limited amount of time and stuff and he's he's running out of

56:19 phone signal and like good jazz. And there's a oh, there's a

56:23 mobile op centre in a in a van as.

56:25 Well yes, there's a van which will love love an OP centre van.

56:28 Yeah, love that. Tom's also providing Overwatch

56:31 with a sniper rifle. Just straight up causes an

56:35 international incident by shooting some innocent private

56:38 security guards mercilessly. This.

56:42 This man's a rogue fucking agent.

56:44 This man's not in the CIA. Nobody in this film's in the

56:47 CIA. The CIA is blind to this

56:50 operation, mate. Completely, this is actually the

56:53 FSB posing as the CIA in order to to create a false flag

56:58 attack. And remember, no Russian.

57:01 Yeah, nice. Yeah.

57:03 Yeah, God right. Can't.

57:05 Chase with Land Rovers. I was going to say I zoomed out

57:08 so bad from this. So what happens is.

57:10 Kathy gets kidnapped. Well, before that, so Triven

57:14 gets his his his wallet kind of like backwards inserted back

57:18 onto him again as his all security teeth still come up and

57:20 be like something's wrong, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

57:22 And everyone's like on a bit of a stand off.

57:24 And yeah, then yeah, you're right.

57:26 There's a there's a Land Rover chase a lot of violence here as

57:28 Land Rovers. Sonia, come on, pipe up.

57:30 There's a Land Rover owner. Yeah, I've sent this about a

57:33 Bond film as well before. I I think as much as I love

57:37 mine, I think there are better cars to pick for a car chase.

57:40 You want something that's able to go fast and that is.

57:45 Pretty liquids in size, yeah. Keep liquids inside and keep

57:50 other liquids outside. Not breakdown.

57:54 Not breakdown. I kind of.

57:57 Personally I wouldn't if you want to.

57:58 If you want to to chase someone I don't know, I think you you'd

58:02 be better off in AVW Beetle than.

58:05 You know, say what though, as a. It looks great as a gangster

58:08 car, but. As an as an innocent, rude user,

58:11 I I do think there's something quite plausible about the the

58:14 image of seeing a bunch of Land Rovers driving like twats in my

58:17 vicinity. Yeah, I mean, that's something

58:20 I've seen. Fair enough.

58:23 I mean also I I've experienced this, people do leave you more

58:28 space if you're driving one of them because they don't want to

58:31 be rear-ended by a three tonne box of biscuits.

58:38 So it's probably a good choice if you just want to throw a

58:43 plastic card of the way if you you just don't want to be able

58:46 to stop. Yeah.

58:48 Yeah, I think the story calls for as well, because it needs

58:51 like the physical space within it for him to do that

58:54 legitimately horrible scene with.

58:56 There, it's not a. Physical space inside the land

58:59 roller, though certain. Yes, but the point is for the

59:04 story. The story needs physical space

59:07 for him for him to do this now they could have gone like 3 days

59:10 of the condo and and had like a Ford Bronco, which which has an

59:14 insane amount of physical space to like interrogate people, but

59:16 wouldn't make sense in Russia. The could He was one of those

59:19 like Lada. Is it the Lada Neva, the

59:21 Russian, the Russian 4x4? Yeah, which which probably would

59:26 have the physical space, but also looks shit inside and isn't

59:29 a kind of oligarchy mobile is. I mean, a lot of us are chosen

59:33 because the intimidate. Is driving a Russian made car.

59:36 Yeah, and, and, and the show, the show the wealth and almost

59:41 kind of like Western alignment in the capitalism kind of sense

59:45 of, of virtual even, you know. But yeah, they needed someone

59:49 that like projects a sense of bigness, even though as we're

59:51 all aware, there's no spits and Land Rovers.

59:54 They're not fucking TARDIS. But this one as an observation

59:57 would do. I put light bulb in your mouth

59:59 and you bite it the door on your lungs and you fucking die.

1:00:02 Yeah, but he should. He should be calling Jack, like

1:00:06 squeezed into the side of the car like I have your wife.

1:00:10 I cannot sit straight inside my car because I am more than

1:00:14 heaven. But I will kill it as.

1:00:16 Soon as I have stopped being stuck in the door.

1:00:19 The the the chase ends pretty properly.

1:00:21 So like he one thing, he's calling him on the phone and

1:00:24 they're having and having the the phone chats every now and

1:00:26 again. And I think they're not as good

1:00:29 as they could because like Chris Pine doesn't doesn't have any

1:00:31 bars. He's just like, I will find you.

1:00:33 I will find you. It's like, yeah, OK, right.

1:00:36 Yeah. I mean, that's not that good.

1:00:37 Near green levels of of sass. Yeah, yeah, repeat this.

1:00:44 You must be. Getting away with my wife.

1:00:47 I can't believe if you're kidnapping my wife, this can't

1:00:51 be happening. Yeah, then they do catch up.

1:00:55 I do like. I do like when he catches up

1:00:57 though, because he just kind of runs at the car and smashes the

1:00:59 windscreen with a with a like a. Pipe.

1:01:02 Pipe, yeah. And then you must, you must

1:01:06 knock out the driver because then it stops and then it zooms,

1:01:08 it crashes into the car in front of it, which is cool.

1:01:10 And then just when you think that actor Raven's going to get

1:01:13 like some kind of piffy line or something, you just get punched

1:01:16 in the face and knocked out, which I really, which I really

1:01:18 enjoy. I really enjoy just by Chris, by

1:01:20 just banging them out. He's good.

1:01:22 I mean, that's the Marine in him, right?

1:01:24 That's it. You want to win a war?

1:01:25 Tell it the Marines you know you want.

1:01:27 You want to stop a Russian oligarch just before he launches

1:01:31 it? The main portion of his

1:01:32 monologue? Just tell it the Marines man,

1:01:35 fucking switch them off. Really enjoy that and then

1:01:37 obviously, yeah, Kathy Ryan's rescued and and what we thought

1:01:41 might have started to be like the dramatic climax, the movie

1:01:44 which in all the other dark Ryan movies, not all of them, but

1:01:46 like Patriot Games, for example, ends with like a big kind of

1:01:52 attack on his home and his family's in danger and stuff.

1:01:56 So you think you would be forgiven for thinking that the

1:01:58 big kind of worry here is something's happening to Kathy,

1:02:01 but no, she's rescued. And then as you said earlier on

1:02:04 what should be the airport of this movie but it's been shunted

1:02:07 into like a weird 2 scenes worth of subplot background first.

1:02:11 Revealed. Yeah.

1:02:12 Is the main, yeah, which is the main attack of the movie.

1:02:14 And I, I think, right. So I, I, I, it's weird.

1:02:18 It's definitely an evidence evidence of rewrites because

1:02:20 when I was watching the scene where they're sat on the park

1:02:23 bench and Harper is explaining the whole issue to the movie to

1:02:28 to to Jack around what you're saying like, you know, they're

1:02:30 going to trade all this stuff off.

1:02:32 I honestly zoned out going to do all these trades.

1:02:34 They're going to do all the trades at the same time.

1:02:36 It's going to crash the markets and like China is going to be

1:02:39 affected weirdly worse than Russia.

1:02:40 I don't know why because because they don't have oil reserves,

1:02:43 but Russia's got oil reserves. So they're going to bounce back.

1:02:45 But America hasn't got any manufacturing anymore.

1:02:48 Bad lids and. Fucking shit lips.

1:02:52 America doesn't have manufacturing anymore.

1:02:54 Smash cuts to the sleeper agent working.

1:02:57 It was more part in Michigan. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:03:00 But yeah, yeah, yeah. So Americans are manufacturing

1:03:02 more Americans. Six Americans are going to

1:03:04 bounce back, and people are going to start calling it the

1:03:06 American crisis, but then they're going to call it what it

1:03:08 really is, the second Great Depression.

1:03:09 And what's not going. Yeah, OK.

1:03:11 That's not like a compelling movie fuel, though, because if

1:03:15 that was to happen, there's not like a really obvious visual

1:03:18 image of like, oh, the second Great Depression's happened or

1:03:22 it's about to happen. Like, like unless, unless like

1:03:25 the end shot of the movie is like some dude from Wall Street

1:03:28 stepping out of his window and and flinging himself at the

1:03:30 pavement like like Jack Ryan's Powell.

1:03:32 At which at which point? Which point, you know, in

1:03:35 A202014 not too long after the financial crash, a little bit of

1:03:38 it would have been like. Oh my God, no, the fucking the

1:03:44 the rights. Like the worst case scenario,

1:03:46 this financial crash happens. Jack Ryan's fuck boyfriend roll

1:03:49 the bank has started for the National Archives and they're

1:03:51 like, wait, I I as a bank have carried out so much corruption

1:03:59 nationally and internationally. Let's like, shoot themselves in

1:04:01 the fucking hair as a cute sick, commit suicide and increasingly

1:04:08 gory ways which this film's budget would be better than the

1:04:12 way the Neil Breen film showed it.

1:04:13 They would like run into like the bank, they would, they would

1:04:18 like run face 1st and like static chainsaws and stuff like

1:04:21 that, you know? So what they did?

1:04:23 That plot point doesn't really work if half of the people are

1:04:25 just waiting for the economy to crash so they can can afford a

1:04:28 house. Yeah, point of shit and the

1:04:31 money, it's like this isn't this is the problem this movie is.

1:04:34 Actually worse than in the 20s. Can we just, can we just maybe

1:04:37 just kill the bankers anyway without terrorist plot?

1:04:41 This is the problem is that it's it's too complicated for the

1:04:43 average movie goer to kind of really like an emotional handle

1:04:46 on because we're not watching margin call or like like the big

1:04:49 short. Even I need I need a scene this

1:04:51 movie where Mogger Robbie in a bubble bath drinking champagne

1:04:55 explains to me like, like, like, like why this is a bad thing?

1:04:59 Because, like, because like, unfortunately, like Kevin

1:05:02 Costner sat on a park bench in Moscow is not doing it for me.

1:05:04 Like I zoned out big time. I mean.

1:05:07 The thing is like they actually, they actually talk about like

1:05:10 real kind of financial crime things like like dark pool.

1:05:15 Algorithms, algorithms and stuff.

1:05:18 So like, I did a little bit of reading in the dark pools.

1:05:20 I didn't fucking understand it at all, you know, I mean I'm

1:05:24 about to start a course on like anti money laundering and

1:05:27 financial crime and stuff and that's going to be a fucking

1:05:30 hangout When I do that. I've got to see how it's going

1:05:31 to be hard. But at the minute I don't fuck

1:05:35 about Dick about it. And because I'm the average

1:05:38 moviegoer at this point, you know when someone think of the

1:05:41 economy. Right.

1:05:41 Yeah. So, yeah.

1:05:43 So terrorist plot, Yeah, Yeah. So terrorist plot kicks in and

1:05:47 it turns out that there's, as you mentioned, a sleeper cell

1:05:49 operating in Pennsylvania or in Michigan, but apparently it's

1:05:53 like nobody bombs Pennsylvania. No, they're in Pennsylvania

1:05:56 because they've obviously moved from after they've been, they've

1:05:58 been dicked, I think. Yeah, because it's that kind of

1:06:00 like bomb factory, like getting shifts.

1:06:02 It's like bomb factory stuff for Pennsylvania.

1:06:04 He's got like, there's like a bit of a rat line this to this

1:06:07 like shack in Pennsylvania where he's where he's going to make a

1:06:10 fucking Alfred Monroe Federal building style truck bomb, you

1:06:15 know, Oklahoma City redux. Another thing that didn't ever

1:06:19 make sense to me, but I guess kind of does if you read it

1:06:21 between the lines but isn't really said explicitly in the

1:06:24 movie, is that the young man, he was the operative I guess, in

1:06:28 the cell, I think is meant to be Chevron's son.

1:06:32 Yeah. The determinant when they're on

1:06:34 that flight back from Russia, when to do with the incredibly

1:06:37 rapid intelligence analysis. Indeed.

1:06:41 So all the bullshit that he was saying earlier on, my son died.

1:06:44 And when he's eight, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, it's, yeah, it's for

1:06:50 Dunk. Like if you had access to that

1:06:52 already, then surely this is already swept up, right?

1:06:54 Like, like, OK, cool. Anyway, yeah.

1:06:57 So they determined that he is the guy and that they're going

1:07:00 to attack New York and Wall Street.

1:07:03 There's one really good bit where Anatoly during the plot

1:07:06 his determined is being followed by like an FBI agent or

1:07:09 somebody. So he kills him, the knife finds

1:07:11 his badge, finds his FBI and has to go on the run.

1:07:13 But he turns up to his old work and the most incongruous thing

1:07:17 happens, which for British people is seeing Sinbad from

1:07:20 Brookside. Like, hey, how everyone's

1:07:23 looking for you. The.

1:07:26 FBI has been all over this place.

1:07:28 Please, what's going on? Are you in trouble or something?

1:07:30 Says a guy who ordinarily has a really thick Scouse accent.

1:07:35 And then what's going on anyway, right?

1:07:41 So then so Anatoly stabs him and this is like weird little camera

1:07:44 thing where it pushes in as you. Get each of the fence dolly's in

1:07:47 on him. Dolly's in.

1:07:48 Yeah. It's like, what the what?

1:07:50 The Movie. Was.

1:07:51 For a second, why did it like, yeah, Well, by this one shot in

1:07:54 this movie directed by Tony Scott, like what happened?

1:07:57 It's like, is, is, is this a forbidden fucking jutsu?

1:08:00 Because it's all of a sudden an anime scene, right?

1:08:02 Yeah, yeah. And it's like yeah, weird.

1:08:05 So yeah, Sinbad from from from brute side.

1:08:07 Hard to mention it. So strange.

1:08:09 Sangie, you want a Brookside? Brookside was a soap opera and

1:08:12 for a time in the United Kingdom there was like each of the major

1:08:16 terrestrial channels had like one or two tentpole soap operas

1:08:19 going on. So you had like EastEnders,

1:08:21 Coronation Street, ITV, also that Emmerdale.

1:08:24 But oh, coming in off the top rope was Channel 4 with its

1:08:27 attempt at this, which is Brookside, all set in a in a

1:08:31 cul-de-sac in Liverpool. Everything happened, everything

1:08:35 went down. And like Brookside was like, I

1:08:38 mean, they're all pretty like far fetched, like dramatic

1:08:40 stories. Coronation Street was probably

1:08:42 the least Coronation Street had. Like every couple of years or so

1:08:44 they would do like one big tentpole thing to try and like

1:08:47 reset the balance a bit. And if they had to like.

1:08:49 Someone would get murdered or something.

1:08:51 Yes, when we get murdered or there was like the famous train

1:08:53 crash and and like, yeah, there was nasty Nick and all that kind

1:08:56 of stuff. This is like deep cultural law.

1:08:59 You're not going to, I'm not going to bother with you.

1:09:01 But like, Emmerdale did the same thing.

1:09:02 Emmerdale had its own version of the Lockerbie crash.

1:09:05 When an ally that crashed into the village pub, by the way.

1:09:08 That's not a joke, Sonya. That actually happened, yeah.

1:09:10 And I like I took out like 7 major cast members were taken

1:09:14 out basically reframe Basically what happened was I watched an

1:09:17 incredibly long YouTube video about this several months ago.

1:09:21 I know right. So, So what what happened was

1:09:25 they they changed the filming location for like the, the the

1:09:28 village that Emmerdale was set in because before this point it

1:09:30 was called Emmerdale Farm and it was like almost single camera

1:09:33 between different shots and they didn't have a single location to

1:09:35 wrap everything together. And then they got like their own

1:09:38 basic like small village, which they had to secure the rights to

1:09:41 like film or in and they had like sets built and stuff.

1:09:44 And they're like, we need to like rebuild and transition to

1:09:47 like the new Emmerdale. How we're going to do this?

1:09:49 We'll fucking drop a plane on the old one and then we'll and

1:09:52 then we'll like transition to the new Emmerdale on completion

1:09:55 anyway, right. That's a different show,

1:09:56 Brookside that. Kind of see that there was,

1:09:58 there was that iconic scene when someone delivers Lane, Mr. Prime

1:10:02 Minister, a second plane has hit the Woolpack.

1:10:06 That didn't happen. That didn't happen.

1:10:07 So yeah. Oh what are you now a fucking

1:10:10 Woolpack truther? A fucking a fucking a fucking

1:10:13 1994 or whatever it was? Emmerdale plane crash truther?

1:10:17 I see what's going on here. This is not a conspiracy theory

1:10:20 podcast. I can't remember, I think it was

1:10:22 92. It was anyway.

1:10:23 Anyway, right? So Brookside was like the Scouse

1:10:26 version, and it had a bunch of obviously Scows characters, same

1:10:32 sort of level of drama. Key things from Brookside.

1:10:36 The United Kingdom's first lesbian kiss ever took place,

1:10:39 and it was Emma Freel you might know from Marcella.

1:10:43 It was Anna Freel, my wife. Is.

1:10:45 Emma Freel. It wasn't.

1:10:51 It wasn't, it was it wasn't. It wasn't Rory's wife.

1:10:54 It was the actress Anna Freel. Please leave that at the

1:10:57 podcast. That's.

1:10:58 Different for real. Why are you surprised?

1:11:03 Yeah, so. She's not.

1:11:06 She's just to the CIA. Oh my God, Oh man.

1:11:14 And then, and then the only thing I was going to say after

1:11:17 this was this one thing that ties it back to our podcast,

1:11:19 which is in it was a who got her start in acting was a young

1:11:24 actress called Lisa Faulkner, who I don't know if you remember

1:11:26 Rory. She was like, I forgot who's

1:11:30 family she was in, but she had like a nose ring and it changed

1:11:33 my life. Yeah, when I saw her, I was

1:11:38 like, Oh my goodness. And then and then she would be

1:11:41 in the first episode of Spooks. Spooks was an amazing like show

1:11:44 on BBC about MI 5. And every week they'd be like a

1:11:48 terror plot they've got to like unpack and resolve.

1:11:51 But the thing about Spooks was it was the first like big major

1:11:54 TV show, at least in the BBC, where like anyone could die.

1:11:58 Well, well before Game of Thrones.

1:12:00 So in the first episode you're introduced to this team that

1:12:02 you'll think is going to be like the like bugs.

1:12:05 It's going to be the team that's going to do what every week

1:12:07 bugs. And then and then in that first

1:12:09 episode, like Lisa Faulkner just gets her head put into like a

1:12:11 chip, like a deep fat fryer and it's just killed.

1:12:13 And there was brutal win. It's like, I guess she's on the

1:12:15 fucking team anymore. Yeah, real bad.

1:12:18 And then she would go on in real life to Mario celebrity chef

1:12:20 John Turot and that's and win Slippery Master Chef and that's

1:12:23 Lisa Faulkner. Anyway, right back to the movie.

1:12:25 There's a fucking bomb underneath Wall Street.

1:12:28 I guess it's going to go off and.

1:12:30 It's going to bring six to seven buildings down.

1:12:32 You caught that right? Yeah, yeah, 6 to 6-7 are going

1:12:36 to get for a 6-7 building to get again, a knockdown.

1:12:40 Jack Ryan stops it by stealing a police van and having a fight

1:12:43 with Anatoly in the back of it and he crashes.

1:12:45 Cardio. Crashes off the dock into the

1:12:48 puds and I guess he. Borrows the fuck by motorcycle.

1:12:51 He does borrow the football motorcycle.

1:12:53 He does, yeah. That he's like super good at

1:12:54 driving. Don't worry, man, don't worry

1:12:57 about it. It's just Clancy, don't worry

1:12:58 about. It it's just Clancy, don't worry

1:12:59 about it. And then, yeah, the van crashes

1:13:00 into the organ and then a really unnecessary big explosion effect

1:13:04 happens and it looks a bit junky and I don't like it very much

1:13:07 anyway. All the bad guys die.

1:13:09 There's a bit like some of All Fears.

1:13:11 There's a little clean up scene where Chevron gets killed by the

1:13:15 FSB and it's Mikhil Porchikov. The ballet dancer shoots him.

1:13:20 Yeah, that's wild. Ratz Wilds, Burschakov even.

1:13:24 He's an interesting guy. He defected from the SSR in

1:13:26 1974. We had to see him playing in the

1:13:29 FSB. But very fun.

1:13:30 So he shoots him. Shoots a guy who's going to die

1:13:32 anyway. Seems unnecessary.

1:13:34 I. Mean it's just like euthanasia

1:13:36 at this point, right? Yeah, yeah, exactly.

1:13:37 I put him out his misery. Yeah.

1:13:39 Like now your son actually is dead, you know, but OK.

1:13:43 And then there's a little scene where Jack Ryder Cafe or the

1:13:47 hospital, because Jack's all beaten up and they do a little

1:13:50 kind of their version of that bit and Britain's Lost Ark,

1:13:52 where she's like, where can I guess you were?

1:13:54 It doesn't hurt. He's like, I guess he doesn't

1:13:55 hurt, that kind of thing. And the very final scene of the

1:13:58 movie is Kevin Costner and Jack Ryan going like talking about a

1:14:03 meeting. That's what happened.

1:14:04 And he's like, if he doesn't ask you about it, he doesn't want to

1:14:07 know. Keep it short, keep it concise.

1:14:09 And did you ever get that Boy Scout on a field trip look off

1:14:11 your face? And he's like, no, that's one of

1:14:14 the things I love about you, Jack.

1:14:15 And then they go into the the room and, uh oh, it's the Oval

1:14:18 Office. And he goes, nice to meet you,

1:14:20 Mr. President. I'm Jack Ryan.

1:14:22 And it ends and it's like. My God, it's fucking President

1:14:25 Mitt Romney. Yeah, Yeah, that's it.

1:14:27 Yeah, Yeah. So, so the dude's voice is like

1:14:29 really clean, like a white dude. And this came out in 2014 just

1:14:32 before the the 2015 sort of primary race for the 20 well,

1:14:36 end of 2015 elections in the 2016 presidency, right.

1:14:38 So before Trump. And this is from a simpler time

1:14:41 where everyone thought like a normal Republican would be on

1:14:44 the ballot, right? So to these guys who love the

1:14:46 CIA, love American manufacturing, and are deeply

1:14:50 passionate about having a white dude in the White House,

1:14:53 clearly, clearly put a guy there whose voices sound like a bit

1:14:55 like Dick Romney is my is my hypothesis.

1:14:57 I floated it past my wife yesterday and she was like, what

1:14:59 are you based not on? I'm like vibes baby but just

1:15:02 vibes. Do you think we're going to

1:15:04 going to see like films like that where where they do a

1:15:07 Donald Trump like voice? Gosh, could you imagine?

1:15:11 What? What is the name?

1:15:13 It's Ryan. So oh, beautiful name.

1:15:16 Wonderful name. Somebody.

1:15:17 Well, well, well, well. I mean, in this like version,

1:15:20 him, him and his CIA boss go into the Oval Office and they

1:15:23 just got like bollocks by Donald Trump acne against the Russians,

1:15:27 right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:15:28 He's like, where are you? Dare you fucking idiots.

1:15:31 They killed your friends. He was a good man, very good

1:15:34 man. You killed him.

1:15:34 You like Raven? I like Raven.

1:15:37 I let him fuck my wife, rather I all set him fuck all the porn

1:15:43 stars that I'm paying to have sex with.

1:15:45 He's great. He's going to make Russia great

1:15:47 again. He's going to make America smile

1:15:49 again. Fucking hell.

1:15:50 Man. But instead they had like, they

1:15:53 had like fucking Mitt Romney style drum.

1:15:55 Like at the time there was a Gangnam Style parody song, Mitt

1:15:58 Romney style Mitt, Mitt Mitt yellow.

1:16:01 I got a horse in the Olympics man, but I don't even watch him.

1:16:07 Bad Mick Romney style. Jesus Christ.

1:16:11 So that was we kind of through the end there because it's just

1:16:15 a tight 90s. It's a standard kind of like

1:16:16 action movie. It didn't feel like a Tom Clancy

1:16:18 movie to me. That could have and probably

1:16:20 should have made him more linked to the FSB, not just a rich guy

1:16:24 who's doing a little bit of kind of dirty work on on their

1:16:28 behalf. Because on one hand, he's got

1:16:30 the ability to set up sleeper agents and stuff and he's

1:16:35 obviously very, very wealthy and very, very influential.

1:16:37 But also he's being captured a bit too much arm's length from

1:16:41 the FSB. And I wonder if this was kind of

1:16:43 like because context of when the film was made, Russia was

1:16:48 certainly being a shitty country to people on on the global

1:16:53 stage. 2014 was when it's initial invasion of Ukraine

1:16:57 began. And I think this film was out a

1:16:59 little bit before that. Is that right?

1:17:01 Well. No, this is 20.

1:17:03 This is January 2014. 2014 there you go.

1:17:06 So at this point, Russia has obviously it's.

1:17:09 Already started very. Shitty they've invaded Georgia

1:17:12 beforehand. There's 2018, 2008, sorry.

1:17:14 Yeah, there's, there's, there's been two Chechen wars, but I

1:17:17 think there was maybe this kind of the Russians are our friends

1:17:20 now kind of thing, still still in, in Hollywood.

1:17:23 Yeah. To an extent, To an extent.

1:17:26 And I wonder if it's kind of let's make him just a guy who's

1:17:29 doing wet works for a certain nastier part of the government

1:17:34 because, you know, maybe we'll want to sell this film to

1:17:37 Russian language markets, you know?

1:17:39 Well, isn't it? I think they should have leaned,

1:17:41 I think I mean, OK, they probably would have also some a

1:17:44 massive litigation, but they should have let a little bit

1:17:45 more heavily into him being basically rumour Abramovich,

1:17:48 right like that. 'D be fucking amazing, actually.

1:17:50 He just happens to own Chelsea as well.

1:17:52 It's like, you know what the film so much this movie in

1:17:55 England, then they could have easily, they could have easily

1:17:57 got away with that. Actually it's like, are you on

1:18:00 generic English football club? Richmond AFC.

1:18:03 From Ted. Letter you, you, you come even

1:18:06 sit in executive box with me. We watch game of your

1:18:09 Anglosphere football. What would not have done to the

1:18:13 You're having an affair. It's a plot no it would have of

1:18:18 the psychotic wife getting on a plane to Moscow scene.

1:18:23 She's taking a domestic flight to Dearborn, MI instead.

1:18:27 That is a good like. Unannounced, gets on a Greyhound

1:18:30 bus to the next town. You know what I love the energy

1:18:34 that she thinks is having an affair, but she but she decides

1:18:37 to like do a red eye Greyhound bus to it, surrounded by like

1:18:40 screaming kids and people who've got warrants and stuff like

1:18:43 that. It's like that the astronaut who

1:18:45 like put on an A nappy and like drove across the country.

1:18:48 It's like confront her husband and these new misses.

1:18:52 Yes, incredible, incredible scenes.

1:18:55 So yeah, you could have you could have like had that kind of

1:18:57 thing, couldn't you? In summary, hard agree, Mike.

1:19:00 The could have could have made them more government connected,

1:19:03 yet they did not. And I think it's because, well,

1:19:05 you know, we're going to make it like the, you know, maybe some

1:19:08 people aren't as villainous a nation as they used to be,

1:19:11 cough, cough. Cough cough.

1:19:12 France. France.

1:19:15 Wow, caught a budget and all. The ending, when the camera cuts

1:19:19 away at the end of the film, was just Emmanuel Macron taking his

1:19:22 fingers to the desk, going. Just.

1:19:26 Bland. Like Nicholas Sarkozy and his

1:19:30 wife Carla Bruni? Yeah.

1:19:32 Fucking Sarkozy. It was like legitimately like

1:19:35 Chevron maxing in real life, right?

1:19:38 I mean, Sarkozy has become a fucking Bond villain.

1:19:41 You know what he did like 10 days of prison or something that

1:19:44 just walked out. It's like what even is with all

1:19:47 due respect to a French list, that's what even is France.

1:19:51 There's there's there is an insane document in your Netflix.

1:19:54 I forget it's name but it's but it's like regarding the

1:19:57 apprehension of 2 French private pilots who like allegedly

1:20:00 smuggled a load of coke into some Latin American country and

1:20:04 the French put on this egg special operation to get them

1:20:07 back. It was lead was arranged by some

1:20:11 politicians, some MP and it was like kind of the tactical lead

1:20:14 on it. The John Clark of it was.

1:20:17 Basically fucking Jean Marie Le Pens big minder like he was

1:20:22 incredibly linked to air front Nationale and it's wild.

1:20:26 You should check it out. It's really fucking good.

1:20:29 The everyman, isn't he? I mean, I suspect that's I mean,

1:20:32 although you can't really be at the every man looking like Chris

1:20:34 Pine. But but you know, I mean, I

1:20:36 think that's sort of the the idea of it is that it it is, as

1:20:40 I said before, instead of this kind of double O 7 character or

1:20:44 the kind of Jason Bourne, it is the guy that's kind of found in

1:20:48 the middle of something that he can't quite cope with and

1:20:52 friends that, you know, he can. So it's it's more along those

1:20:56 lines than the kind of absolute trained killer, although he is

1:21:01 also a trained killer. So we've got some hot takes and

1:21:05 some mild takes, some cold takes on the casting of this film.

1:21:09 It's got big name actors at the top of the bill, doesn't it?

1:21:12 So we've got got Chris Payne who has been in a lot.

1:21:16 Kevin Costner has been in a lot, Keira Knightley, who's been a

1:21:18 lot. And we've covered Chris Payne

1:21:20 and Kevin Costner in previous episodes.

1:21:22 So probably more fat looking at Keira Knightley in her work.

1:21:25 Right. I mean Keira Knightley.

1:21:28 You're a knightly. You mean Elizabeth Swan?

1:21:33 Much of course like a Shelvin try wearing your courses and

1:21:39 then just like fucking shoots them with multiple flintlock

1:21:43 pistols that you pulls out of you see that's an old turn

1:21:48 abandoned. She appears from the bushes and

1:21:51 merks them with a blonde eppos one of.

1:21:53 My favourite one of my favourite bit of of movie commentary is

1:21:56 Keira Knightley talking to Orlando Bloom about the the

1:21:59 first Pirates of the Caribbean movie, and she's talking about

1:22:02 how she'll have a stunt double run up a flight of stairs for

1:22:04 her in costume because Gore Vibinsky didn't want her falling

1:22:07 over while running up a flight of stairs wearing a dress.

1:22:11 That's. Almost with Orlando Bloom.

1:22:13 Wasn't that with a guy who plays Commodore Norrington, who's like

1:22:16 just sits there and looks at her like.

1:22:18 Yeah, that's right. Yeah, people.

1:22:20 For running up the stairs. Oh, yeah, that's right.

1:22:23 Yeah. Sorry.

1:22:23 It's Yeah, it's yeah, that's right.

1:22:24 It's Jack Davenport. You're absolutely right.

1:22:26 Yeah. That's that's almost as good as

1:22:28 Steven Seagal using a stunt double for walking scenes.

1:22:32 And you can just hear the powdered wig in his disgust, so

1:22:35 it's just like. You what?

1:22:38 So good. Angry powdered wig noises.

1:22:42 And then he tells me how he took.

1:22:44 Days to to. Try and learn how to fling

1:22:46 around his sword just in the background, but he's just out of

1:22:49 shot and not in focus so nobody really sees it and he's

1:22:53 disappointed that nobody pays attention to it.

1:22:55 I. Said fucking Mike Wazowski.

1:22:57 Paid, covered by the barcode or whatever it is, and Monsters

1:23:00 Inc. This was so hard to do.

1:23:03 Nobody asked you to do this. Brilliant.

1:23:06 So good. Keira Knightley.

1:23:08 Obviously she's she's done some previous thriller Maxing.

1:23:12 She was in the film London Blvd in 2010, a crime thriller with

1:23:17 Colin Farrell, Michael Fillus and Ben Chaplin, known from the

1:23:21 first season of Game On before he dipped on Game On and went

1:23:26 for a serious ass film career. We have hit some obscure British

1:23:31 TV series. Yeah, Sonya's not going to know

1:23:33 what Game On is it's awesome theme tune.

1:23:36 We're at family heaven. Jesus Christ, Yeah.

1:23:40 OK. OK, yeah, fucking.

1:23:43 Wheels on the bus, right? Keira Dudley.

1:23:46 Yeah, she was on a Tony Scott movie.

1:23:47 Yeah. Domino.

1:23:49 Domino we're. Going to do that eventually I

1:23:51 think where she puts an assassin.

1:23:52 I think we need to because, because you know what?

1:23:55 I haven't seen the film. It looks really fucking cool.

1:23:57 I was. The ones that are going to Keira

1:23:59 Knightly with guns, so I guess. I visceral memory of being at

1:24:03 when I was at uni and Preston 2004 to 2006 seven.

1:24:08 There was like a giant big billboard immediately outside my

1:24:11 window in my in my third year. And then I just remember like a

1:24:16 good like one month long stretch of just being a giant pitcher of

1:24:19 Keira Knightley. So everybody like there's Keira

1:24:22 Knightley, good morning, Keira Knightley and there's and

1:24:25 there's. That's incredibly city living

1:24:27 pill that. I actually love it.

1:24:29 Yeah. Like that's like this.

1:24:30 This was a season of your life that was a neo noir kind of

1:24:34 film. What every morning you wake up

1:24:36 your blinds? That's.

1:24:38 Like you're like Kieran Heightley's looking at me again.

1:24:40 Oh. My God.

1:24:41 Yeah, it's like that bit. From from the new Blade Runner.

1:24:44 That's exactly it. That's not good, Joe.

1:24:47 You look lonely. I can fix that.

1:24:51 God no, she couldn't fix that. She could make me worse.

1:24:57 Yeah. Yeah, she, she has been in quite

1:25:00 a few pretty fucking great films.

1:25:02 But then again, she is like one of the big actors in this movie.

1:25:05 So I wouldn't look at like, like I said, one of the ones like

1:25:07 below the lines kind of thing, you know?

1:25:09 Can we talk about Com Fiore? Yes, he plays Jack Ryan's boss

1:25:15 in this at Wall Street, at the Bank, Yes, but we saw him very

1:25:19 recently in the Summer of All Fears, as the South African arms

1:25:22 dealer who gets his throat slipped by John Clark.

1:25:25 Yes, get in. That's all I want to say.

1:25:29 Fucking amazing. We have guys rule the top line.

1:25:33 Like I said, we've got Constantine, one of the one of

1:25:36 the local CIA team in Moscow as a guy called Len Kuldrovsky,

1:25:42 actually born in the USSR. This guy's done some major,

1:25:47 major thriller Maxing. He's done lots and lots of

1:25:49 German cinema. Intriguingly, I'm going to pull

1:25:52 some of these up and just like, run names of films by Sonia.

1:25:56 Actually, let's watch Sonia's reaction.

1:25:58 Yeah, let's just fucking really quickly pull this guy's pedigree

1:26:02 or land stuff he has done in German.

1:26:07 Katherine Wundt Vladimir was his first role in ATV movie in 1996.

1:26:14 No reaction. Yeah, no Russian fua Allah fella

1:26:18 Stephanie TV series. No reaction.

1:26:21 No reaction Operation Phoenix. A slight furrowing of the brow.

1:26:26 Slight furrowing of the Brow ATV series from 1997.

1:26:32 I have no explanation of this at all.

1:26:35 Hold on. When it first aired in 1997, it

1:26:40 was discontinued or discontinued after only one episode.

1:26:44 Sonia was a baby. Yeah, Sonia was literally just

1:26:48 born. The remaining 10 did you to poor

1:26:51 feedback and like, if you asked, the remaining 10 episodes were

1:26:54 finally aired in 1999. Wow. 3 Of course he was in

1:26:59 Babylon Berlin, by the way. Oh.

1:27:00 I was Babylon Berlin. Yeah, Babylon Berlin mentioned,

1:27:04 right, Look. Look this guy up.

1:27:06 Yeah, dear Koos, this guy Grass hoop fuzz?

1:27:10 Is that the kiss of the grasshoppers?

1:27:11 Sadly. The what Come again?

1:27:13 Dear Koos des Grass Hoop Fuzz. You know he was in.

1:27:18 I'm just looking up. You know he was in Tom Clancy's

1:27:20 Jack Ryan TV series, right? Yep it was indeed.

1:27:25 I was coming like saw Han Lichkin that was in the series

1:27:28 that had the Russians in it as as villains I believe.

1:27:31 This. Oh, I've not, I've not got off

1:27:32 to that one yet. Right.

1:27:33 It is not the best. Yeah, it isn't the best.

1:27:36 He was like, I mean, this, this guy is like, Russian boxed in a

1:27:40 lot of his characters for obvious reasons.

1:27:43 I love these TV movies that have English and German in the title.

1:27:47 Starfighter Z Volten, Dan Himel. Aeroburn.

1:27:51 Blinking. Blinking from the sun.

1:27:53 Yeah. Yeah, I'm just getting German

1:27:56 pulled PTSD from Starfighters being mentioned.

1:27:59 We bought these and we decided to use them for close air

1:28:02 support instead of as an interceptor and then wondered

1:28:04 why everyone kept running their into the ground at Mach 3.

1:28:07 And so there there's an ongoing joke in in Germany that used to

1:28:12 go, if you want to buy a Starfighter, just buy an acre of

1:28:14 land. Incredible.

1:28:18 Well Sonia, do I have a series summary for you?

1:28:22 Young pilots of the German Air Force only want to fly the new

1:28:26 Starfighter, but after a short time, more and more pilots crash

1:28:30 and die, and the German government and the Air Force

1:28:33 cover up these incidents. And for synopsis it reads.

1:28:37 It looks like we don't have any synopsis for this title yet.

1:28:41 Amazing. Gemma Chan playing Amy Chang,

1:28:46 the other CIA officer involved in like the little surveillance

1:28:50 van thing who gets very, very few lanes.

1:28:54 Yeah, I remember. Which is a shame.

1:28:56 I'm a. Creator.

1:28:58 Yeah, she's a big run, humans. Big run.

1:29:01 That's that's right. She's going to be in the new

1:29:03 Double O 7 First light game by IO Interactive.

1:29:06 The hit, the hit the hit the hit.

1:29:07 My developers making their Bond movie game.

1:29:10 Sure, that'll be awesome. Looking forward to that.

1:29:13 Yeah, she was in Don't Worry Darling.

1:29:15 Yeah. And the Eternals.

1:29:16 Doctor Who as well, because yeah, she was the Eternals.

1:29:19 Sigh. She was in Doctor Who.

1:29:23 Like I think every every British actor has to have go at that in

1:29:27 in one point. Elena Velikonova the the

1:29:33 assistant of Chevron, another Russian born a USSR born actor

1:29:37 in this film mainly worked in Russian TV and cinema.

1:29:41 Most recent role was in a PSP, the Russian remake of the TV

1:29:45 show Medium. Wow.

1:29:48 Which is a thing that exists. She was in that she was in that

1:29:51 sort of one season run in 2024, Jack Ryan shadow recruits one of

1:29:56 the few Anglosphia films she's worked on.

1:29:59 According to Wikipedia. In 2022, she was like, I'm

1:30:05 fucking off from Russia and literally fled to Ukraine and

1:30:08 moved to Kiev. So this was like a Russian

1:30:12 actually made it to Kiev, OK. Move.

1:30:16 So, yeah, like she was like, so she obviously took took the kind

1:30:20 of the right side of history move there.

1:30:23 I think we can, we can all agree, maybe even the FSB

1:30:27 officer who probably has to listen to this because we do

1:30:29 have one listen. From Russia before he's turned

1:30:34 on his VPN. Fucking hell he has.

1:30:37 Like, no, no, I am. I am Johnny Americansky.

1:30:40 Fuck the Dodgers. Yeah.

1:30:45 Can you? See by Vladimir Putin's red

1:30:50 light. So yeah, she she she's done a

1:30:54 bunch of Russian stuff, a lot of comedies, a lot of serious

1:30:58 stuff. She was in a film called the

1:30:59 best movie in 2008. And here is a summary.

1:31:04 Vatic Volnov dies on his own wedding of cannabis overdose and

1:31:08 has to prove to God that he is worthy to enter heaven.

1:31:11 During this conversation with God's secretary, Vatic recalls

1:31:15 numerous memorable moments of his earthly existence.

1:31:19 It's like I'm the first man to die of wheat overdose.

1:31:23 I would I would stand up to hell just for being so weak with his

1:31:28 drugs. The sleeper agent assassin

1:31:30 played by Alec Witkoff. Yes, another Slavic actor

1:31:34 playing a Slavic character. Holy shit.

1:31:36 This film is Slav maxing with its costume, which is pretty

1:31:39 impressive because it's like a lot of these films, you'll see a

1:31:42 bunch of guys like kind of Branner.

1:31:44 He'll just don't don't have the. Brass neck of that man, Yeah, to

1:31:52 fill his movie with actual Eastern Europeans and Slavs and

1:31:56 then him to go. But I will play the big Russian

1:31:59 bad guy. I classically trained Kenneth

1:32:01 Branagh from from a Royal Shakespeare Company both to this

1:32:06 Russian crime boss. Yeah, so Alec Ludkov, born in

1:32:11 Kiev, moved to the UK at an early age, obviously born the

1:32:16 Ukrainian SSR at the time that came that Dan got his

1:32:18 independence. After he moved here, I think he

1:32:20 was in slow horses. He isn't slow horses.

1:32:23 And he was in Mission Impossible Rogue Nation as an A400 crewman.

1:32:30 His his first his first role in Anything was playing Chief

1:32:37 Hacker in an episode of Spooks in 2010.

1:32:40 There we go, Spooks mentioned. A show that is now shown on the

1:32:44 IMDb is being called MI 5. I don't.

1:32:48 Know what it's about and this is syndicated.

1:32:50 Probably syndicated in the States I imagine, but he's best

1:32:54 known as Doctor Alexi or Alexi in Stranger Things.

1:32:59 Assure that I've got no knowledge of at all.

1:33:02 It's a total cultural blind spot.

1:33:05 For. Me.

1:33:06 He's also in the show called River or was in a short river

1:33:10 with a friend of the podcast, Stalin Skarsgard, the man who

1:33:14 burned his future for Sunrise. You'll never see the man who was

1:33:18 an arrogant ass and he killed us.

1:33:23 So that's that's like a guy who's gone from say gone.

1:33:28 He's gone from being a kind of major character in Jack Ryan

1:33:30 shadow recruit to being a fucking random pilot at the

1:33:34 start of Rogue Nation in the big A400 stunt.

1:33:37 Right? Yeah.

1:33:37 Yeah, yeah. Oh that's cool.

1:33:41 Nonsu and Nosy played BB Deng. Yes.

1:33:45 He's done a lot of voice acting work.

1:33:47 Mandalorian, Doctor Who, he's done video game work for games

1:33:51 such as Brink, the game I'm aware of, Golden Compass, the

1:33:55 game I'm aware of, the flopped conflict denied OPS a game I'm

1:33:58 not aware of. But boy boy oh boy.

1:34:01 If it's got one word and a colon and then 2 words after it, all

1:34:05 bets are off. Man, that's a fucking go.

1:34:08 He opened his career with Thriller Maxing as well.

1:34:10 He was in Prime Suspect. He was in the 2011 Conan.

1:34:14 That I still think's good. He played Idi Amin in Seven Days

1:34:19 and Tabby. I think he's well cast in that.

1:34:22 I'm going to throw this to the Shakespearean boys in the team.

1:34:25 Do you think he was well cast as Oberon in The Midsummer Night's

1:34:28 Dream? Yeah, probably.

1:34:30 I'll say he's got that kind of gravitas about.

1:34:32 Him. Yeah, I think so, yeah.

1:34:34 He played Samson in the biblical miniseries The Bible.

1:34:39 I'm not getting shit fights about the casting of a series,

1:34:42 but the Bible stories. But I can see him pulling those

1:34:44 pillows down, man, you know, and on a total domestic living

1:34:49 situation. My wife has been trying to cut

1:34:51 my hair all weekend. Do not to SAP my energy to.

1:34:55 SAP. My energy and last bit of

1:34:56 casting, we've got Pieta Anderson, Smita Shaktar playing

1:34:59 Dimitri Evans, head of security. This guy's Swede Max, he's

1:35:04 Nordic Pills. He was in fucking Wallander for

1:35:06 a start. Plus you can't get.

1:35:09 Yeah, yeah. You can't get more Nordic.

1:35:11 More than that. He was in all three of the

1:35:13 original. Another European, I was going to

1:35:16 say another European accent kind of runner feels confident that

1:35:19 he's that he can do. Yes, holy shit, the brass neck

1:35:22 of kind of bra man. I bet he.

1:35:24 Fucking, I bet he fucking goes to McDonald's drive through and

1:35:27 like all those things and like a fucking Venezuelan accent or

1:35:30 something like that. And then and then he pulls up

1:35:33 the window and just like the audacity, the audacity of this

1:35:37 man. Kenny B What the hell?

1:35:39 Kenny B? But yeah, Anderson was in all

1:35:43 three of the Swedish versions of the girl with the XYZ tattoo

1:35:47 girl, The drum tattoo girl Who? Playing one of the one of it to

1:35:51 the fire. Antagonists.

1:35:54 He was in it's spin off TV series Millennium and he's

1:35:57 recently was in a drama series called Estonia about the sinking

1:36:00 of the Ms Estonia that I would prefer not to watch because that

1:36:04 would be harrowing. Yeah.

1:36:06 Fucking harrowing. So yeah, there goes some

1:36:10 interesting notes, I think about the casting weapons free.

1:36:13 It isn't like a super, super gun heavy film.

1:36:16 I do like the kind of quite silly gun check table they have

1:36:20 at the airport, like. They're just lying there.

1:36:23 They're just lying. On a fucking folding table

1:36:26 magazines out next to them on under the gaze of some probably

1:36:30 underpaid civil servants you know and like DB Deng retrieves

1:36:37 as as ACZ 100 from it. There's some other stuff on

1:36:39 there. There's there's some kind of

1:36:41 parata. There's there's an IMI sorry,

1:36:43 iwi Jericho. And what like about this is when

1:36:50 he gets to the hotel, he puts a suppressor on it at some point.

1:36:56 So Jack Ryan doesn't really leave a sight.

1:37:00 So he doesn't leave Jack Ryan's sight really on Jackie Boy walks

1:37:03 ahead of him in the hotel. So we can assume that when he's

1:37:11 turned his pistol in to the, to the border guards or whatever,

1:37:14 right, he's kept the suppressor on his pocket.

1:37:17 So he's like going through like fucking security cheques with

1:37:20 just this fucking can just in his trousers.

1:37:23 And they're like, what's that? And he's like, oh, it's just a,

1:37:26 it's just a Ugandan oil philtre. Don't worry about it.

1:37:30 He has, he has fucking 20 rubles for the value of about 7 cents

1:37:33 or something. It's got whatever, we don't

1:37:35 care. Fucking love that sidearm is a

1:37:38 hack run cock USP. Now we've established in Canon

1:37:42 of the show that the G36 is the rifle of cunts, right?

1:37:47 Very few decent people in these films or throughout films in

1:37:50 general seem to use the G36. However, we don't have the data

1:37:55 yet to show if hack run cock make sidearms exclusively for

1:37:59 cunts in movies as well. Sonia, what's your service

1:38:01 pistol? I have to check who actually

1:38:03 produces that piece of fuck. Come.

1:38:07 The main issue with the with the P8 is that it's too big for most

1:38:11 people. I have.

1:38:11 A very big, they're very big aircraft, yeah.

1:38:14 Yeah, yeah, exactly. I have.

1:38:17 I have, I have hands the size of frying pans.

1:38:19 But most people don't. And it's got a rather large

1:38:23 trigger weight if you compare it to to every other service pistol

1:38:27 available to anyone else, especially if you compare it to

1:38:30 German police weapons. And always fun, because this

1:38:35 leads to mostly women not being able to use the damn thing,

1:38:38 probably because their hands are just too small.

1:38:40 But yeah, it's. It's accessibility issue.

1:38:43 HK yeah. There we go.

1:38:46 So Sonia's. Sonia's certified Not a cunt so

1:38:49 however. You say not now, just give me 5

1:38:51 minutes. I'm shifting it a cunt.

1:38:56 I am a terrible pistol marksman as well, so that's not.

1:39:00 I mean, you know, if you're using a pistol, the situation's

1:39:02 gone too far, right? I mean, you use your pistol to

1:39:04 fight where the enemy's rifle or whatever they say, you know so.

1:39:07 I'm a Navy man, I use the pistol to blow my brains on so I don't

1:39:11 capture. It just like lies down on the

1:39:13 fucking like naval head sight himself.

1:39:17 Oh, Hans Lansdorf mentioned. I have the behind me.

1:39:24 Jesus. Fucking Christ.

1:39:29 What was that? Was that just do we just do a

1:39:31 reference to the pocket battleship?

1:39:32 Grass Bay? Oh my God.

1:39:34 Whoa. Back too soon.

1:39:36 I. Mean we've talked about like

1:39:37 911. So I think we talk of the grass

1:39:39 at this point. I don't think it's too.

1:39:40 Soon might be for real though. In which?

1:39:42 In which situation? In the Navy?

1:39:45 Yourself. Do you see yourself needing a

1:39:47 handgun if you're not part of a boarding Team I?

1:39:49 Was going to say unless I'm in a boarding team I don't know

1:39:53 representative sport. Possibly actually a fun time.

1:39:59 Last fun fact, last time I had a handgun mentioned, one ship was

1:40:04 during trying to do annual handgun qualifications at sea

1:40:08 and it took about 1 shooter for the first which came to fall

1:40:12 into the Baltic Sea. Beautiful.

1:40:15 Stuff and I was sat in the OPS room at the time and we're just

1:40:17 watching the the firing drills through the flight deck camera

1:40:22 and we're just something like, did he just.

1:40:25 He did. There's nothing better.

1:40:27 There's nothing better than than watching someone fuck up at work

1:40:30 but through a camera feed where you have nothing to do with the

1:40:33 evolution. Yeah, I love that on the bridge

1:40:36 of a worship boards watch watch the aft deck camera.

1:40:39 Surely the William Lambie David slew in board one of our sea

1:40:43 foxes the training round and just watch the fall out of the

1:40:47 fall out of it's like launcher onto the deck.

1:40:49 It's like, So what the fuck that?

1:40:51 But it wasn't me. It's like watching a very mild

1:40:54 version of LiveLeak where it's just people having embarrassing

1:40:57 accidents. It's not people like being

1:40:58 gunned down in like the streets of Mexico City, that kind of

1:41:02 thing. Yeah.

1:41:03 And just just last bit like a pistol maxing and like

1:41:06 storytelling. I think it's actually because I

1:41:08 always say that like with like the armouring of these films

1:41:10 that often like a kind of odd stuff for the story, that's it's

1:41:14 mainly aimed at people like me who were like undiagnosed.

1:41:16 But something's not right and. By the way, I'm using T-shirt

1:41:21 for me, for you Mike, probably as well the screen crop, it just

1:41:25 says diagnosed for me. Luckily, looking at our YouTube

1:41:32 figures, nobody watches this, so it's all right.

1:41:35 We'll put so much fucking visual humour in what goddammit as well

1:41:37 that's. Probably a bad thing for a

1:41:39 podcast dude. We'll check it out.

1:41:40 Can you? Audibly wear a costume.

1:41:44 We need audio kind of descriptions, right?

1:41:46 But it's got to be Brian Blessed doing it.

1:41:48 We Oh my God, we should, we should do like Shakespeare scene

1:41:54 or stage directions like Enter Rory wearing a green shirt.

1:42:00 I have a delivery coming. Excellent.

1:42:02 What you egg so? It's an Internet connection.

1:42:06 So don't. Don't fucking jinx it.

1:42:09 Let's move this thing along before it happens.

1:42:12 See, I've asked, but like I said, a little bit like a little

1:42:14 bit of a bit of kind of storytelling is the only like

1:42:18 really representation of Soviet weapons apart from like an AKS

1:42:21 74 you you briefly see at the airport is Trivium gets iced

1:42:26 with a suppressed Makarov. And that's like the the old

1:42:30 school Soviets getting rid of the guy who's done the wet work,

1:42:33 Baryshnikov. This fucking turns up an Icism.

1:42:38 I have a fun fact about Russians doming people with Russian guns,

1:42:42 by the way. The KGB used to be just internal

1:42:49 things and their main job used to be just doming people in

1:42:53 prisons, and they tended to use Russian guns for that.

1:42:57 But Russian guns in that time were shit so they actually

1:42:59 bought German guns. Holy.

1:43:01 Fuck, so they were actually using PPKS to Dome people in

1:43:04 prisons? Bloody hell.

1:43:07 Technically, shooting someone with a Makarov isn't very

1:43:10 Russian Secret Service. Yeah, but it's like Soviet Union

1:43:14 coded. But you're totally right there,

1:43:15 Miss. You're you're.

1:43:17 We are shooting so many people so fast the guns jam doesn't

1:43:22 leave. Does someone have a gun that

1:43:24 doesn't jam? German efficiency The NKVD

1:43:29 officers who killed the Romanov family used Browning pistols.

1:43:33 Oh man, yeah. There you go.

1:43:35 America mentioned, American industrial complex mentioned

1:43:38 Yeah, Baryshnikov is in the film that was filmed near where you

1:43:41 work. It was a film called White

1:43:43 Knights and it was filmed in Campbeltown at the air base

1:43:47 there of. Course, Yeah, well, it's an

1:43:49 airport now, but yeah. Yeah, yeah.

1:43:50 So that that that was a friend and former guest to the podcast,

1:43:54 Jen Messers. One like, holy shit, there was

1:43:55 this film. It's a kind of your ally kind of

1:43:58 thing. It's like thrill movie that was

1:43:59 filmed like where I'm where where my moms from, you know,

1:44:03 so. That's wild, though.

1:44:04 I keep getting that. Moms from Campbellton.

1:44:06 I'm there always. I'm driving there immediately

1:44:07 after this call. Yeah.

1:44:09 Yeah, yeah, just go go fucking say hi, your Jones extended

1:44:12 family when you're there and like, hey, she's not a podcast,

1:44:15 why don't you start listening? To it.

1:44:16 I did have a funny, funny Americans moment in Campbelltown

1:44:19 last week when I was in a fish and chip shop and there's two

1:44:21 American tourists there talking to the guy and the guy owns the

1:44:24 fit shop. It's like they're like a

1:44:25 Bangladeshi family. And they were talking for a few

1:44:27 minutes. The wife had to step out and get

1:44:29 some cash and come back and she was talking to me.

1:44:31 When she came back, she was like, he was like, I've just

1:44:34 been talking to the guy and she was like, oh cool, where is he

1:44:37 from? And then he went, I don't know.

1:44:40 And it was like, mate, you were talking to her about Bangladesh

1:44:42 for like 5 minutes. I stood right here, listen to

1:44:44 the whole thing. You've already like brain dumped

1:44:47 it. What the fuck?

1:44:48 And then it's like so rude. And then Oh my God.

1:44:52 And then the woman, because she's never been on a chip trip

1:44:53 before and doesn't know how it works.

1:44:55 Obviously just go in there, you ask for what you haven't and

1:44:57 then you pay for it when it's already.

1:44:58 But because she wasn't given a ticket and there wasn't a

1:45:00 fucking McDonald's screen that said like collect your order or

1:45:03 anything. She's she went back up to the

1:45:04 counter was like, do I have to order again?

1:45:07 I was like, it's good. Tuesday evening, kind of calm

1:45:09 down. Oh my God.

1:45:12 Like, yeah, amazing cultural differences.

1:45:16 So yeah, weapons. Quotes Who's got any good bars

1:45:19 from this film? I was just going to ask Mike,

1:45:22 since we've talked about Ryan's CIA bosses position on in the

1:45:26 organisation before that guy gets on a sniper rifle, do you

1:45:30 know any commanders you trust around a sniper rifle?

1:45:33 Because I can't think of a single one.

1:45:36 Yeah, I was going to think about like a yeah, U.S.

1:45:38 Navy, like 3 ring commander come, but with a sniper rifle.

1:45:42 Jesus Christ. Yeah, that's seriously

1:45:45 dangerous. Yeah, that's like battleship

1:45:48 levels of plot nonsense. She's paid Officer Rihanna

1:45:52 running the Yeah butter the minigun.

1:45:54 At least we don't ever seen when he assembles it from its fucking

1:45:58 component parts, puts a scope on it, doesn't even bore sight or

1:46:02 anything, and is immediately perfect and got to go.

1:46:07 So you have quotes from the film bars?

1:46:09 I think the quote about being it's it's a QP dog.

1:46:12 Quasi personal. I took it from someone's yard.

1:46:16 I'm paraphrasing but that was good.

1:46:18 That was a bar. Yeah, I don't think, I think

1:46:21 it's like epically written enough for it.

1:46:23 I have like loads and loads of bars, but like there's lots of

1:46:24 stuff that's weird, like the I'm in the CIA, thank God.

1:46:29 And like the reaction to that, Different time, different

1:46:33 empire, same graveyard. That's pretty cool I guess.

1:46:35 I mean, The thing is when when most people look at the room,

1:46:38 did you know that I know the Afghanistan's graveyard

1:46:41 vampires, man. It's a bit like guy down the pub

1:46:43 who's like listen to runs like the one guy in the gym who gives

1:46:46 you shit and he can't lift man, and you got to punish him.

1:46:49 That kind of shit kind of. Brana does actually sound kind

1:46:52 of cool and wise. There's another one.

1:46:54 Yeah. So kind of Brana sells a lot of

1:46:55 this dialogue for all the sass we've given him today.

1:46:57 Yeah, he does do pretty well with what he's got.

1:47:00 Kathy Miller, if if we're going to be married, I like to know

1:47:02 that I can trust him. Victor Shevrin.

1:47:04 Trust truth, I think is like. I think it's like most opinions.

1:47:08 Best unexpressed. Yeah.

1:47:10 Sorry. That's good.

1:47:12 Oh, Jack Ryan. Jesus, you weren't kidding.

1:47:13 You are in the CIA, Harper. Somebody has to be.

1:47:16 Someone has to be. Someone has to be.

1:47:19 It's a living. It's a fucking living, right?

1:47:24 Victor Cheravin. I liked where our.

1:47:27 You flew all the way to Moscow to surprise him or to catch him,

1:47:30 which was. I like that.

1:47:31 I like that regret. It piles up around us like books

1:47:35 we never read. Oh, that's good.

1:47:37 Actually I like. That that is actually a fucking

1:47:39 bar. Very poetic and.

1:47:40 And it kind of like kind of pushes him.

1:47:43 It's like this very intellectual kind of guy.

1:47:45 He was always like aware that time was fucking short from.

1:47:48 So that is a decent little line. Oh, this is a good one actually,

1:47:51 from Com Fiore. Who's his boss, Rob Behringer.

1:47:54 Viktor Scheffern is completely unpredictable and it's, and it's

1:47:56 Russia. Insider trading is legal over

1:47:58 there. It's the Wild West.

1:47:59 They're still ideologues, but the new ideology is money.

1:48:03 They're not a country, they're a corporation, which is why we're

1:48:05 here in the 1st place. I don't, I know I don't, don't

1:48:08 rock the boat, Behringer. It's not a boat.

1:48:09 It's a goddamn luxury yacht. And we're all together, so don't

1:48:12 fucking sink us. It's Roman Abramovich's luxury

1:48:15 yacht with the fucking sea Wiz. System on it.

1:48:19 So yeah, I think that's decent. Sonia, any, any bars from you?

1:48:23 Any good quotes that you enjoyed?

1:48:26 No, I, I, we, you've covered it pretty much.

1:48:29 I think overall this film was fairly unquotable.

1:48:33 Yeah. There is one more Amy, Amy Chan.

1:48:36 It's like when when Chevron like leaves the building, she's using

1:48:40 all the code words. She goes exit.

1:48:42 Snowball is rolling. Yeah, and.

1:48:44 That's a what? Doable.

1:48:46 I like it. And also they have they have

1:48:49 they have like a bird code name, don't they?

1:48:51 As well like the units got a bird related code name, which is

1:48:55 very Condor pill. And also going back to my

1:49:01 absolute adoration of Mary Pat Foley from the from the Tom

1:49:04 Clancy, Jack Ryan novels, all of the agents she ran had bird code

1:49:08 names like Cardinal of the Problem, etcetera.

1:49:11 So this is just another post from Rory, the chief of the Mary

1:49:14 Pot Foley Fan Club. One thing annoyed me.

1:49:16 He's cool. Oh, that's yeah, that's cool.

1:49:18 Sorry. One thing annoyed me, which is

1:49:19 when Jack Ryan pieces together that it's a diversion, the

1:49:22 bomb's going to be somewhere else.

1:49:23 Think he goes, it's a diversion. The painting in Chevron's

1:49:26 office, it's right out of Napoleon's playbook.

1:49:27 It's Waterloo. And I'm like, he fucking lost

1:49:29 Waterloo. He.

1:49:31 Famously lost Waterloo. That's not like a strategic

1:49:34 genius that was a second run son of.

1:49:38 A bitch. It's his dad son's birthday.

1:49:43 He always destroys the American economy in the bottom half of

1:49:46 the hour. Biggest missed opportunity this

1:49:51 film the the Domingo Chavez Missed Opportunity Award.

1:49:57 Now I've got a few, but you guys go first think.

1:49:59 The Heists wasn't in an interesting enough building, you

1:50:02 know what I mean? Like they could have staged that

1:50:04 in a more interesting location. So the restaurant was just like

1:50:06 a restaurant. The building he has is just a

1:50:08 building and he's got like his logo, all of the walls and stuff

1:50:11 inside it's. A shit logo as well by the way.

1:50:14 It looks like a fucking secret sigil you see outside in Vampire

1:50:17 nightclub in Blade. I was thinking, as I often do,

1:50:20 like in terms of what would be a good hitman level.

1:50:23 And the good hitman level for this right is like the Kremlin

1:50:26 itself, right? I know that you obviously can't

1:50:28 do it in the Kremlin because he's not part of the

1:50:30 establishment, he's not part of the government or whatever.

1:50:32 But I was also thinking about what what's one of the most

1:50:35 maligned hitman levels, which is that one in Colorado where it's

1:50:38 just like a terrorist training camp in the middle of like rural

1:50:41 America? I don't know.

1:50:43 No, I just didn't feel like the middle of efforts like go to

1:50:46 Russia and go to Moscow, and I feel like they didn't use it

1:50:49 well off. I mean, will it be like the

1:50:51 film, that particular scene that buildings in London of?

1:50:54 Course it is. Yeah, I mean the film, the car

1:50:56 chase scenes in Liverpool. Brilliant.

1:50:59 Yeah. There you go.

1:51:00 This one talking about like, that's cool.

1:51:02 That's like moving magic or whatever.

1:51:03 But like if you're gonna, if you're gonna have the whole

1:51:05 thing of having Moscow there, like don't just have it be like

1:51:07 set dressing for like a couple of key scenes, like fold it into

1:51:10 the plot properly. There's the same thing on

1:51:11 Firefox where they had like they filmed Mr in Vienna, didn't

1:51:14 they? Then had like a few shots.

1:51:15 That were like, I think in in like Czech Republic or Finland

1:51:18 or something like that. Yeah, I mean, but that was like

1:51:21 real, real, real fucking hate the Cold War kind of shit.

1:51:23 They couldn't even get like AK-40 sevens and any like real

1:51:26 numbers to to like equip the actors used Finnish Valmet

1:51:29 rifles. Yeah, yeah.

1:51:30 Yeah, so I don't know, I just I just felt like that was the

1:51:32 thing I think I think I think our earlier points about folding

1:51:35 the sleeper cell plot more into the movie because I thought is

1:51:39 easily the more interesting film.

1:51:40 If I was going to watch like a multi series TV show, like, I

1:51:43 don't know, like the Americans, like what, what would I prefer

1:51:46 to watch it about? Like this financial box or

1:51:49 sleeper sleeper agents in like industrialised America in in in

1:51:53 the five of the states. That's really interesting.

1:51:55 Yeah, and and it's like, that is interesting.

1:51:57 I've got a thing I'm just going to kind of swing into regarding

1:52:00 the locations as well, because I think a missed opportunity was

1:52:04 to have more location shoots in the places that they're meant to

1:52:07 be. Because I think some points

1:52:09 really does show that. A lot of it was filmed in

1:52:13 England. The forest scenes clearly feel

1:52:16 very English. I did get some interesting

1:52:19 location notes. I'm going to quickly divert into

1:52:23 super, super quick. So I said there's a bare minimum

1:52:27 of US location shots. A lot of the New York stuff is

1:52:31 London, a lot of the Moscow stuff is London and Liverpool

1:52:38 and Dearborn, MI scenes are shot in South Hatfield in

1:52:41 Hertfordshire. The the church is the Church of

1:52:45 Saint John and the strip ball is the old South Hatfield shopping

1:52:49 parade. And now the thing that kind of

1:52:52 made me go to rabbit hole on this is like the kind of goofs

1:52:54 section or IMDb size. There's a National Lottery sign

1:52:57 visible during the scene when the young sleeper agents had run

1:53:01 in to catch the FBI guy in Shankham.

1:53:05 And it is like, you still like the National Lottery kind of

1:53:06 like circular signs taking off. It's got an M on it now for

1:53:09 Michigan, I guess. Yeah, it could be you.

1:53:13 The sleeper agent could be you. You might not even know that.

1:53:16 Use The Winter Soldier activation words on you.

1:53:19 They might just say I'm tired of this orgasm when you become like

1:53:22 a killing machine. But I did like a quick bit of

1:53:25 like super undiagnosed looking into things about this bit of

1:53:30 set dressing because they really did go all out and go quite hard

1:53:34 making this look like an American strip mall with all its

1:53:36 like shop fronts and stuff. And it does look quite legit.

1:53:39 And I think there's a goof on the iron baby gives it a bit of

1:53:42 short shrift and says, oh, look, these fucking idiots are still a

1:53:44 National Lottery signal. The signs fully changed, but I

1:53:48 found it online. I found the location.

1:53:50 The South Hadfield Shopping Parade is now being demolished.

1:53:54 It is. It is just next to the church as

1:53:56 well. So it's kind of hyperlocal

1:53:58 weight shot, which I do like. But there's a pub in the air it

1:54:02 that's still there. And you know what man, that

1:54:04 pub's got a flat roof. There's a flat roof pub called

1:54:09 the Hatfield Tap just next to it.

1:54:11 It was called The Harrier, I think at the time the film was

1:54:13 made. So this is the first film that

1:54:15 we've done when you see legit, actual, factual, probably

1:54:19 ultraviolent flat roofed pub. This is very British.

1:54:24 Has Kenneth Branagh ever had a point in a flat roof pub?

1:54:28 I think he probably has. He's not had a fight in a flat

1:54:30 roof pub's car park. He's never won a meat raffle in

1:54:35 a flat roof pub. He's he's never done that thing

1:54:38 when a member of boss half drops a glass and he goes in in the

1:54:42 flat roof pub. I.

1:54:44 Think he's been in an FRP? Definitely.

1:54:47 They could have made Kathy more psychotic.

1:54:50 How? Oh.

1:54:53 Or he could have had an actual affair.

1:54:56 Yeah. Ryan doesn't do that.

1:54:59 Far too Catholic. Missed opportunity.

1:55:02 He doesn't like skid the border bike and look down the camera

1:55:04 and go, I'm Roman Catholic and what?

1:55:06 He could have done is is made that I have to think of that

1:55:09 when when he calls the the operator and she goes calm down

1:55:13 you're a Marine. They could have done a scene

1:55:16 where Kathy makes him do that super cringe TikTok video of

1:55:20 that. He's a Marine, loyal, pestified.

1:55:23 They could have done. That.

1:55:26 That would have been a great unhinged couples activity thing

1:55:31 to to just show how weird these two really are.

1:55:34 I really love that actually. She could have been like made

1:55:37 making people call her like Mrs Mrs Lieutenant Jack Ryan, like

1:55:41 doctor, doctor, Lieutenant Jack Ryan, a Lieutenant Jack Ryan,

1:55:45 Kathy Ryan, Fucking dependent spouse unhanged.

1:55:49 Surgeon, Lieutenant Kathy Ryan, ME Mueller, Brackets, Spouse.

1:55:54 Thank me for my service. She's brilliant.

1:55:56 Honestly, I was with my my hometown.

1:55:58 Guy a Lieutenant for. Yeah, well, a matter.

1:56:00 Of weeks long enough to learn how to use the, the the.

1:56:03 Second left side Jack Ryan. Yeah, he.

1:56:06 Was Gentleman Jack Ryan? Could you imagine that sprog

1:56:11 British? Did like that's what he was

1:56:12 doing. I don't think he's a.

1:56:14 British Jack Ryan. It's this movie.

1:56:17 Pro artist. Man this is the most pro CIA

1:56:21 film I've ever seen. I I have to rewatch Zero Dark

1:56:24 30, which might be like give it a run for its money, but like,

1:56:26 but this is like the most pro CIA movie I've ever seen.

1:56:30 So the point which was I did the CIA and they go thank God and

1:56:34 then like and then they even like and they tip a lampshades

1:56:36 of the fact that the CIA might be a little bit problematic and

1:56:39 then they just go not my unit, not my part of the CIA.

1:56:43 Not my circus, not my monkeys, mate.

1:56:45 Yeah, I'm, I'm the good guy, CIA.

1:56:47 I'm the CIA intelligence agency. Yeah, exactly.

1:56:51 God. Yeah, we're not like the other

1:56:54 boys. Yeah, we only do good stuff.

1:56:58 We only investigate real baddies, and we don't do

1:57:01 anything that crosses any funky lines.

1:57:03 Even though you're a spy. Yeah, it's ridiculous.

1:57:06 Yeah, it's. Full throated chest out, pro

1:57:11 CIA. Big time.

1:57:13 It's it's also Marine Corps propaganda.

1:57:17 Oh yeah, big time. You're Marine.

1:57:20 You can handle being a super spy like he he was.

1:57:23 He was a marine out of Academy for like 5 minutes before he

1:57:26 took an RPG to his back. So.

1:57:28 He doesn't know shits in. Terms of being a Marine.

1:57:31 It was. It was in exactly long enough to

1:57:33 know how. Like the kind of harnesses work

1:57:35 in the helicopters. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:57:37 Which is. It's also British Leyland

1:57:40 propaganda because none of the cars breakdown.

1:57:44 Yeah, yeah. Jack Jack Ryan doesn't

1:57:47 immediately slip on an oiled slick trying to run after the

1:57:49 defender. There isn't a scene when an

1:57:52 oligarch's driver gets out and starts kicking the wheel of a

1:57:55 smoke Land Rover. It's also not rusty.

1:58:00 It looks like the AC works. There's no condensed water on

1:58:03 the inside of the windows. Condensed water.

1:58:06 The scene begins and like sure Evans drive out, grabs like a

1:58:10 towel that they keep in the fucking passenger seats, wipes

1:58:13 the window down. That's how I get going between

1:58:16 September and April. I'll just have you know.

1:58:20 That's a significant amount of the year, Sonia.

1:58:23 I mean, it's hamburger, it's it's wet, we get sun for like 2

1:58:26 days a year. So it's it's always moist, but.

1:58:29 Yeah, there's another scene where like, Kathy Ryan gets

1:58:32 pulled a Land Rover and she just complaints the jacket smelled

1:58:34 like an old leather jacket. People should change their

1:58:40 minds. This is just, this car's just a

1:58:42 toy for grown-ups, to be honest. Yes, I will stop at a traffic

1:58:47 light and random family fathers will stop, grin at me and give

1:58:51 me two thumbs up. Just something like, okay, cool

1:58:54 guy, I'm just trying to get to work.

1:58:55 But thanks, I appreciate it. Yeah.

1:58:59 Brother man, it's a truck and it's British, okay, there's

1:59:05 thousands of these, but thank you for your.

1:59:07 Dozens of us. Dozens of us.

1:59:15 Dozens of us, 70% of all Land Rovers are still on the road,

1:59:19 the other 30% made at home. But.

1:59:23 It's amazing. It's, it's weird and I've, I've

1:59:25 like Emma, not you. And Emma has been like, what,

1:59:27 what are you doing with this car?

1:59:29 And then she sat inside of it like 5 times.

1:59:31 I was actually, this is kind of fun.

1:59:33 And then we had to drive, drive it for once.

1:59:35 And she was like, maybe I want one too.

1:59:37 It's like make up your mind you're not getting this one at

1:59:42 least. I I I think the only thing more

1:59:46 difficult than a relationship with 1 Land Rover is a

1:59:49 relationship with two Land Rovers involved.

1:59:51 We really should have, like serious conversations before

1:59:53 they commit to having Land Rovers.

1:59:56 And if you and if you're having a Land Rover to try and save the

1:59:58 relationship, that's for the wrong reason.

2:00:00 Yeah. If you're cool, yeah, cool,

2:00:02 bring them indoors. You live an hour away, I will be

2:00:05 there too. Possibly on the back of a tow

2:00:07 truck. You never can't tell.

2:00:08 Anything can happen there. This is great.

2:00:11 This is the podcast of where I think we've discussed the film

2:00:14 the least, but in good but it's been very good fun.

2:00:17 But back to the movie. So grossest oversell of them.

2:00:22 Oh, I thought it. Was.

2:00:23 Done. Boy, oh boy, oh boy.

2:00:25 I mean, it's got that bit in the plane where they just like

2:00:30 analyse a little data that anybody knows how they got, how

2:00:32 it got collected. In the first place, in just

2:00:34 rapidly as well. Just just typed kind of branner

2:00:36 into Google and just go. That's like, I know that like

2:00:40 the sea in any real state that the NSA can read the time off

2:00:44 your fucking wristwatch. The CIA is not going to be able

2:00:47 to pull up some dead Russian kids death certificate in

2:00:51 moments. This is something that you need

2:00:54 a scene when someone gets into archives in Russia.

2:00:58 This is the scene. We need a John Clark kind of guy

2:01:00 who speaks fluent Russian and bribes his way in with a packet

2:01:03 of cigarettes. Who's digitising worship?

2:01:06 Exactly like, and you're going to do a better fucking job of

2:01:11 hiding your sleep out agent. You're going to scrub things off

2:01:15 the Internet. You're going to get rid of

2:01:17 documents, you're going to hide stuff.

2:01:18 There's no need for a death certificate because this kid

2:01:22 became fucking ghost mode, right?

2:01:23 You know, to say this kid died in some some random Russian

2:01:26 Republic where they didn't have a decent amount of documentation

2:01:30 for things or whatever, or, you know, he never had a son.

2:01:33 He never had a son. No, it's a mystery.

2:01:34 It's a mystery. You know, the rapidly go through

2:01:36 a lot of things that could have been another 25 minutes of the

2:01:38 film. Yeah.

2:01:41 And that's a massive oversell. Would it have been interesting

2:01:44 though? That's my that's my question.

2:01:46 Yeah, yeah, you are. You are tension at the

2:01:48 investigatory things by them saying we've got to get a guy in

2:01:52 the archives not know fucking Saint Petersburg or.

2:01:54 Whatever. Yeah, No, I get you.

2:01:56 Yeah, I'm just thinking like the tone of the movie they're trying

2:01:58 to make. I think the thing about the Jack

2:02:00 Ryan movies, right, is that they are.

2:02:03 I think Jack Ryan is character actually is like deeply

2:02:07 entrenched in like the 80s and 90s, I think.

2:02:11 And the kind of movie that supports a Jack Ryan type

2:02:13 adventure is a thing of the past.

2:02:17 I don't think. I think.

2:02:18 I think I think some of our fears was behind the times when

2:02:21 it came out. Yeah.

2:02:22 And got and got supported by by made and born.

2:02:25 Major 90s DNA in that film. Yeah, exactly.

2:02:28 And I think this whilst it's trying to be like a a 20, it's

2:02:31 mid twenty 10s. This came out.

2:02:32 It doesn't feel like it. It feels like again feels like

2:02:35 early noise, but kind of behind the behind the curve a bit.

2:02:39 Yeah, I just, yeah, part of that that DNA is that they've they've

2:02:44 simplified it too much. Yeah as well.

2:02:47 Join the docs for you. Yes.

2:02:49 Oh, we've got it. We've got it.

2:02:50 We've found it. We've found awesome, awesome.

2:02:52 Let's move on. And it's like I don't know man.

2:02:55 Also jokes aside they could have had them like pouring through

2:02:58 kitchen cells on Reddit and and like find like the Assassin's

2:03:02 kitchen cells post. Like, jokes aside, kitchen

2:03:05 cells, man. Like, he thinks there's jokes

2:03:09 coming. Yeah.

2:03:10 Fuck, fuck, fuck my sleeper agent Russian cell life.

2:03:15 Talk to a female today. She told me to go back to told

2:03:20 me to go back to Canada. I'm not even from Canada.

2:03:23 Look at my pot of Porsche that I made.

2:03:26 I'm going to rope Max tonight, you know.

2:03:30 OK. So reviews, reviews, reviews.

2:03:32 3.6 runch and not great, not terrible. 2 1/2 star review from

2:03:36 Mike right. OK, so the recent reviews I'm

2:03:40 going to go again like we normally do through the half of

2:03:43 stars through to the actual good reviews.

2:03:45 Solid one stars. Am I weird that this is the

2:03:49 first Keira Knightley movie that I've watched crying emoji.

2:03:52 But I mean, depending on your age and you know your your your

2:03:56 proximity to Keira Knightley films, maybe not watched by

2:03:59 Harrison 12th of February 2026. Absolute dog shit Charlene says

2:04:04 could smell that scenario from far away.

2:04:06 And then there's some stuff in French, which is it's a waste of

2:04:09 time. I've got one of these ones.

2:04:10 When people reference their friends, opinions, quotes.

2:04:13 This is like Mission Impossible with all the action scenes taken

2:04:17 out. Chandler.

2:04:18 Thanks, Chandler. Well, our friends.

2:04:21 Kenneth Branagh is not a convincing Russian.

2:04:24 Yes correct. Watched at the nail salon and it

2:04:27 suck. I love you Keira Knightley.

2:04:29 Find some slightly better ones now. 1 1/2 stars.

2:04:32 How many? Jack Ryan and Jack reach Sharon.

2:04:34 Jack Bleach. Sharon.

2:04:35 Jack Bryan. Can we Jack up here?

2:04:37 There's too many five star reviews this film.

2:04:40 Oh my God, this is just sorry, 1/2 sauce.

2:04:43 This is just Tony Dinozzo, the character who was already being

2:04:46 played by notorious sexual harasser Michael Weatherly in

2:04:50 the long running Naval Criminal Investigative procedural NCIS

2:04:54 and is to this day played by notorious sexual harasser

2:04:58 Michael Weatherly and Tony and Zeva, a Paramount Plus original.

2:05:02 This is simply not Jack Ryan. S005C0032003M005 Total 016 to be

2:05:12 tuned with fucking Russian number station.

2:05:14 At this point the review goes on the worst looking Harris Zamba

2:05:19 Lucas picture I've seen. But part of that is the edit and

2:05:21 part of that is 2014. Imagine being kind of runner

2:05:25 threatening a woman in a moving car in the set of tenant and

2:05:28 having to admit, yeah this is way better than how I was doing

2:05:31 a scene like this. My own movie.

2:05:34 Funny to watch a movie about a Russian agent betting on the

2:05:37 prospect of a successful terrorist attack in America

2:05:40 after a successful terrorist attack by America was

2:05:42 successfully bet on, possibly by the president himself. 4th of

2:05:46 January 2020. Sixth, by the way, this was this

2:05:48 was around the Venezuela attack time.

2:05:50 Obviously it's always a dude named Jack for some reason.

2:05:53 Well, obviously this person doesn't know Jack.

2:05:56 Oh, it's half stars. That just reminded me.

2:05:59 Yeah, sorry. Something somebody pissed me off

2:06:01 about the movie. Jack Ryan doesn't wear cargo

2:06:03 shorts. Jack Ryan would not wear cargo

2:06:05 shorts. Fuck no.

2:06:07 God damn. Jack Ryan would wear exclusively

2:06:10 dad coat jeans pulled a bit too high up, even like the modern

2:06:14 like Ted Kaczynski. Jack Ryan wouldn't wear cargo

2:06:17 shorts. It was nice, John.

2:06:18 Krasinski. I know what's his name but I

2:06:19 could get him confused. I suppose slacks you wouldn't

2:06:22 with cargo. What's carry on please?

2:06:24 Yeah, 3 1/2 stars. It feels too over hated.

2:06:31 I don't think anyone really hates this film.

2:06:33 I don't have. It's not, it doesn't.

2:06:34 It's not strong enough to to engender hate.

2:06:37 Insanely over hated. Yeah it's predictable and a

2:06:40 little cheesy, but what do you expect from a Jack Ryan movie?

2:06:43 Well no, I I I expect different from a Jack Ryan movie.

2:06:46 Dawson 2. Did your first account get

2:06:49 deleted for wrong opinions? Overall entertaining and fun

2:06:52 movie. Cool heresy here.

2:06:54 Better than pay it. We get games.

2:06:56 No. And that Amazon series version.

2:06:59 I would throw away my oligarchy to flirt with Keira Knightley.

2:07:02 Cirrhosis or no cirrhosis. Come come soon to ITV.

2:07:07 Cirrhosis or no cirrhosis, Jack Ryan fires me the fuck up.

2:07:11 I legit believe I can do what he does.

2:07:13 The whole digging into financial stuff, not the fight against the

2:07:15 Russian agent and the sewers. The problem is that I like to

2:07:18 drink as much as kind of the Branner of this movie.

2:07:20 Also it kind of cracks me up that he there that he directed

2:07:23 this movie. Dude likes to do all these

2:07:24 Shakespearean plays and serious shit, but I respect that he can

2:07:28 enjoy something like this. Oh mate, you're going to love

2:07:31 Poirot. Amazing.

2:07:33 Very similar Tom Clancy's in rainbows thumbs up emoji You're

2:07:37 there are two rainbow emojis. Very epic rainbow emoji.

2:07:40 Rainbow flag emoji from ladies Man the birth.

2:07:45 I love this shit and just I want to finish on five stars.

2:07:49 Watch it at 3:00 AM and it becomes a cinematic masterpiece.

2:07:53 Wow, beautiful. Beautiful stuff, insightful as

2:07:55 always. Might be tempted to do it, maybe

2:07:58 not, Who knows? OK, probably not.

2:08:00 Guys, let's be real. Yeah, I gather that thinks it's

2:08:03 to the end of this wonderful episode of Clear and Present

2:08:06 dudes. So he does.

2:08:07 Next time we will be watching the movie Cisco Pike from 1971

2:08:12 starring a young Kris Kristofferson.

2:08:15 Yeah. And Gene Hackman, so pretty

2:08:17 pretty excited about that. Haven't seen it, so that should

2:08:20 be good. I don't have any of us seen that

2:08:22 movie. I have seen some of it.

2:08:24 The main reason I picked it is that our episode is going out on

2:08:27 the weed day the 20th of April. Blaze it indeed.

2:08:31 And I I just did a bit of a Google about thrillers that

2:08:35 involve weed and this one came up along with like Pineapple

2:08:39 Express. It's more of a comedy thriller,

2:08:41 and if I'm not going to fucking do Pineapple Express, I'm going

2:08:43 to do this really, really obscure Kris Kristofferson film.

2:08:46 It's on YouTube twice. There's two versions on YouTube.

2:08:49 One of them has been copyright hit big time, and a load of it's

2:08:52 muted. I think we're going to have to

2:08:54 like, post a link to the one that's not been copyright struck

2:08:57 when we put that episode up, just so people know what the

2:08:59 fuck we're talking about. Yeah, cool.

2:09:03 Brilliant. Well, I look forward to that,

2:09:05 white chaps. I've got to do a long drive.

2:09:08 So let's let's, let's, let's wrap this thing up.

2:09:11 So guys, we have been clear and present dudes.

2:09:19 Got them boys, easy claps. Nice.

2:09:21 Did it, boys. Right, OK.