Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit (2014)

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Weather podcast that stops us getting hit by copyright strikes. Brilliant, I affected. I am joined by Rory James o'tool this kitchen in Sanya from his vast library. And tonight we are diving moderately deep into the moderately successful moderately Tom Clancy ish Jack Ryan shadow recruits. Hello, welcome. Please, if you haven't already, subscribe like do the follow on Spotify, click on the sub stack. One day I'll get back to writing on it. I've just been real busy and. Come with a discord as well.

Discord is fucking empty. It's become. Discord It's depressing to be a discord mod with new new discorders and and spoiler warning this is a spoiler cast. We're going to spoil the movie all the way through, but this movie came out in 2014 and if you didn't watch it then not many other people did either, so that's fine. OK, right. How we doing? Should we just get straight into it? Yeah, this quarterback had the situation. Somebody tried to kill me.

Jack, Jack, Jack. Is work OK? Yeah. You know you sold this as an office job. Why don't you sit down Now talk me through your very scary scenario. Keep in mind I don't have your PhD.

Tokyo, London, United States. It's going to be a wipeout. We'll never see it coming. You're not just an animus anymore. They're operational now. Jack, I have to go to Moscow. Why don't you want me to come? And we'll be working the whole time. They play rough over there. Jack Victor Cherven is unpredictable. You Americans like to think of yourselves as direct. Perhaps you are just rude. Perhaps you're just touching Jack. You got another problem. What are you doing here? You lied to me for three years.

Somebody come on? Of course not. Are you? Can we have a a minute please? No, this is geopolitics, not couples therapy. Partnerships are delicate news today. Sometimes they end violence. What? The hell is going on here? Sometimes the ones closest to us are the ones we should trust to leave. OK, let me let me do a spiel. Jack Ryan Shadow Recruit is a 2014 stroke origin story entry into a long running film franchise based on the Jack Ryan character by Thomas Clancy. Repositioning the hero this time is a post 9/11 analyst drawn into economic terrorism rather than the Cold War, the Gold's Cold War.

This particular entry was directed by Kenny B Kenneth Branagh, written by Adam Kozad and David Kep. You talk about David Kepp maybe a bit later on. I think you mentioned it before because this isn't the first David Kepp penned film we've done. That's because a lot of films are penned by David Kepp, films like Jurassic Park and 2017's The Mummy starring Tom Cruise. Anyway, it stars Chris Pine as Jack Ryan, Kenneth Branagh, Kevin Costner and Keira Knightley and released theatrically on the 17th of January 2014.

Not long before I joined the Royal Navy. About about about 8 weeks before I joined the Royal Navy and including an IMAX release that began the same day. As I mentioned, the film was a modest success at the box office. It opens to $17.2 million in the North America and ultimately earned about $50 million domestic, which and then worldwide about 135 mil and it cost about 60 mil to make. So if you add in pretty much double it for marketing stuff, it kind of broke even. Just about to make a comparison this weekend, Project Hill Mary on its first weekend made over 50 mil, which is the entire domestic product of this one and it's only dropped 30% in its second weekend.

So that's a huge big ass smash. This is not that. OK cool. Who had seen this film before? Not me. Nope. I'd seen it once. I watched it in, I watched it on a plane in 2016, and that's all I and I remember that Kevin Costner was in it, and that's all I remembered about it. And obviously Chris Pine was Jack Ryan. And then I watched it again yesterday, and if I hadn't made these notes, I'll tell you what, I'd probably remember that Kevin Costner was in it. And this time I might remember that Keira Knightley said it.

And that's about it. This is the second Chris Pine film we've done that one of us watched on a plane. Because I watched Unstoppable for the first time when I was flying back from Iceland after the airspace was reopened. Now that movie. That movie ruled, though. This was my pick as well. It was my pick and I hadn't seen it. What did you think then? What did you think? You know what wasn't terrible? It was OK as a film. It's not great as a Jack Ryan film. I think it's the worst of the Jack Ryan films, but you are up against some stiff competition.

Parts of it followed pretty badly. Some of it was kind of fun. There was some massive missed opportunities in the film. The whole there was essentially almost a subplot in it that should have been treated as because it was meant to be part of the air plot, right? So there's. So I mean, we're jumping way into spoilers. Yeah. But there's a family, a family of Russian sleeper agents in the US who got activated and they're going to carry out this terrorist attack in New York. And just seems like it's just that set up a final action scene.

And they could have done so much more with it and still kept it within the realms of a really good thriller. Yeah, I'm excited to talk about that. I've got I've got opinions about that as well. Sonia, what did you think of the movie? You've said it's not great, not terrible as far as just the form goes. I'd rated 3.5 Rundkin as well. Yes, concerning the quality of the film in comparison to other Jake Ryan products, I rated the actual amount of Rankin's released by the Incident. Not great, very terrible.

I am. I am not sure what to make of it, but it's not getting a very satisfactory from me. BS the serial through scrub OK Fost bounce not so. That's the thing we just did. This is what sets us apart from other podcasts. Niche. This film didn't find all the leftover food wrappers during sweepers. Unsuccessful Ford plot of a movie. So OK, right. I'll, I'll, I'll get to the plot. So we mentioned at the beginning this is a post 911 film. Not in the sense that it was made immediately after 911, but this reframes Jack Ryan's recruitment and entry into the military.

So he's at the London School of Economics 911 happens and then he basically immediately enlists as a Marine will not enlist because he's an officer. And then we see him cut, cut ahead 2 years. It's 2003. He's in he's in Afghan. He's a helicopter that gets shot down over Afghan, which is his Castorfic back injury, which is like a bit of it's almost like these are all in a parallel universe, isn't it? And that and but they're like, there are fixed constants and every Jack Ryan must have to have fuck up his back.

Yeah, in the in a helicopter crash and it's all different kind of ways because obviously in the what's his name? Jim, Jim, Jim from the office, Tenzinski, Jim Straczynski, Whatever it. Is Randall Park. He his his back injury helicopter crash is fucking horrible because like, I mean, Mike, I think you've seen season 1 of the Jack Ryan show Sonya, I don't know if you have but him, him and his team like evacuates to make civilians from from the some village in Iraq. I think it is and this one child just literally suicide bombs the helicopter like it cut like it cut like Jack Ryan's POV and his kids just dropped a bunch of poking grenades and it's like that that's heroin.

This one you've got gets gets shot down and I believe is a cannon for the novel Jack Ryan that his helicopter crash was in an exercise. I think it was, yeah. And I think that's sort of mentioned in Hunt for October as well. Yeah, I think, I think you're right. It does come up when when they put him on the carrier and the this yeah CEO is like, what is this fucker doing on my ship? That's right. And they're like, oh, well, actually he's not just a twat from. So yeah, he was. He was in the what? Also was at the Academy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's, it obviously makes sense for like Booby Jack Ryan's who have not done it during an actual war because they weren't as many wars. Go on then. I mean, they could have. Yeah, no, they could have done some like shitty you could have been Panama, could have been in the death squads, but you, you. But it wasn't, so it's OK. He could have been living out the living out the plot of the Cobland song, student visas and getting shot down in Latin America because he was with the death squads.

So about 5 minutes into the movie, he is in a field hospital and they go, oh, this guy's back's really fucked up. We got to go, him got to go out. He's he's done with this war. So then he's he's back in the US And then we kind of catch up with him as he's doing some painful physical therapy. Classic thing, the whole walk in with a crutch whilst someone's like come come towards me thing. But you always see he meets Kathy Mueller who becomes Kathy Ryan, of course. And this is R12. Three. This is our 4th Kathy Ryan.

There are only four. Kathy Ryan's isn't there because one of them is actually in two films. Hold on the original. Gates McFadden. Gates McFadden. Then we have the the main Kathy Ryan from I think that's right. Yeah, no relations still then we have. I've forgotten her name in. All the TV shows Arsenal fields, Bridget Moynahan. I forgot about her as well. Yeah. Then we have TV show and then we have Keira Nightly. So there's 5. There's five. You're right. I forgot about Bridget Moynahan. Yeah, Yeah.

Cool. Yeah. So let's just do this now. Power rankings for power rankings. Power rankings for Fizz Ryan. Who's who? Who wins? Right? Who would win the fight? And who and who's the Who's the most convincing? Actual Kathy Ryde. Hand fight all at the same time or like do I have like a kind of a kind of like structure thing that's like of course, it's the limited. Can look out that tournament. Like the World Cup of of Kathy's riot fighting. No, I want to go for like a rage in the cage. Yeah, welcome to the Thunderdome.

5 Kathy's enter what Kathy leaves. Leaves on my left, Kathy on my right, Kathy right ahead of me, also Kathy behind me. Two more Kathy's. Oh my God, it's Kathy with the steel chair. One knife. I'll be, I'll be. Cornish's the Kathy Ryan from the TV show. We haven't even said her name. Yeah, just don't throw that out of. Respect on her name. With the rest of the Kathy's ride, Gates McFadden is getting physically beaten first. I think I just don't see her as being fighting particularly. No, no, no.

Keira Knightley looks like, I mean, she's, she's very lean, she's very rapid. Sorry, I will say, I will say about Gatesburg for them though that her outfit for for the fight would be like like the neoprene like jumpsuit like aerobic city that she was wearing. She wearing, Yeah, it's Beverly Pressure in Star Trek, which is doing like the aerobics with with Deanna Troi. Fucking aerobic scene. Good grief. Fan service. So I think, I think that the the Keira Knightley, the Keira Knightley, Cathy Ryan looks pretty rapid.

I think long reach as well. I think she's a bit taller than some of them she seems. She is. She's Yeah, she's tall. She's got let's get a tale of the tape on them. First of all, podcast. We just want know how tall these women are, how much the way, how long the reach is, how big the. Age. She's. Currently going to call for Polly. My God. And she's just going to come in like full domino mode and just like dual wheeled guns and just I. Remember, that film was normal. That was close. All right, Kian, that is actually surprising.

5 foot seven. I thought she'd be taller. Hey, Sam. Hey, it's me. Cool. It's not in normal units. 170 centimetres. Let's get out of here. So what what I suggest is that the next Kathy Ryan should be Elizabeth to Becky because she's like 6 foot 5, which would make her the most powerful for Catholics. She would be incredibly powerful. Holy shit. It would have been like Jack, are you having an affair? Oh my God to be so much like rule 34. Giant ass stuff made of a. Yeah, this is taking its own. So lovely weather we're having today.

Bridget, Bridget Moynahan, do you think she's got she's got that dog in her. I think she, I think she could throw down. Yeah, actually that's fair. Yeah, it will be a tight run thing. I think it would be pretty close apart from Gates McFadden who was a national treasure and we do love, but she is getting beaten in like the first two minutes. Yeah, listen to her franchise. They're saying her franchise. It isn't her fight either man. It isn't her fight. I mean she can't bring a phase out. The referee took a phase or off just before she went in.

Otherwise they'll have been blood buff. She had like one line as well and like Hunter October she was barely there I think right. I don't know if this is just nostalgia talking, but I think an Archer for me is like it's kind of mainly I'll tell you why because I don't know Ann Archer from much of the stuff as well. Yeah, Ann Archer seems indefatigable. Like she seems like she's got. Like the flagship of the fleet in CS Foresters. She seems like she can dig in deeper, I think, for more fight. And I'll actually be kind of like, I didn't hear, I know a bell.

Like, yeah. Yeah, yeah. You know. Because she's got a little forward to look after. I think I think she's got the most Catholic trot wife energy. Oh yeah. Have have we considered the amount of pent up anger they are bringing into into the fight? Because I feel like Keira Knightley Cathy is like she, she finds one cinema ticket and is immediately like you are having an affair and I'm going to give you shit. Can a man not go to the cinema? Yeah, man, right. This is this is bright. This is a key point of the movie I want to talk about.

So Keira Knightley is is Kathy Miller is, I think, a bit unhinged. I. Think she's a lot unhinged. I love. Her. She's a lot unhinged crazy energy. And I love her, I love her. She's mint. It's just funny because it's like it's she has a whole rule about like, oh, I can't tell a patient, can't tell a patient. It's not because HR has gone to her because she already has, because I'll tell you what it is. It's not her like moral code that's doing it because she is. She's getting she's not afraid to break some rules.

I mean, The thing is right, like, you know what he said, just give me a couple of Percocets and just like you'll have one and it's like that's that's not from the hospital, like dispensary. That's her personal like she's carrying. Let's just hold it. He's like. She's already been stealing. No, these are mine. These are my emotional support perks. Jesus, one thing about this, like is that Chris Pine, we do a time jump, sorry, he gets he gets recruited by the CIA, which we'll talk about in a minute, I guess as well.

But he there's a time jump and then all of a sudden he's working on Wall Street and it's 10 years later and he goes to see a meaning of sorry, wrong number, sorry wrong number. And he goes to certainly doing. I like this because it's like all these schooly old fashioned spy movie stuff, like a guy going to a cinema to watch an old man, a showing of an old movie. And they meet up with a contact and they share some Intel. Yeah. But yeah, as you say, Sanya, she she finds that 1 ticket stub and and from that 1 ticket stub, the natural endpoint for her is flying to Moscow to confront her business trip.

But it's like she's like, you know what? How about Paris like instead? Like, how about Paris instead? I can get time off and just just just give you Paris. And that's great. Just brilliant. Well, I've got. Yeah, it's like, well, I'm going to, I'm going to Moscow to, to as a, as a compliance officer in Wall Street to, to interrogate these guys accounts. It's it's, it's incredible. Are are you fucking the Russian finance guys? Are you? Yeah. Man, I was obviously so I I watch this with Emma because I watch like pretty much every film for this show with, with my wife and because because we're inseparable and it's disgusting.

But like she was like, yeah, she's a bit like me in terms of like, if, if, if like I kind of sometimes give any resistance to Emma Rod, anything. Like if she says let's do something. I said not right now. She'll be like what I'm hearing is you hate me. What? Why die? Why is it like? What did I do wrong? And it's like, so once again, this is like I, I have wife clearance to say this because I'm not like making fun of her. She's she absolutely has cooled me saying this. But that's, that's Kathy Mueller in this film energy.

It's like you're not going to bin your job off and go to Paris with me. What I'm getting is you're having an affair at cinemas and you fucking hate me. You want me to die? Gosh. Yeah, man. Oh, yeah. Let's just do it right. I don't, let's not lock ourselves into the sequential order of the of the movie. Let's just let's just freewheel this thing. OK. So he's, he's been in Moscow. He's had that bathroom fight. He's killed that dude. We'll talk about all those in due course. But what happens is Kathy Mueller calls him as he's like, fleeing around Moscow on foot, terrified of every single taxi that he sees.

He hangs up on on the first time after he's like shot the guy in the hotel. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then and then she's calling him and, and he's obviously got like a lot of anxiety and saving his voice, but he's also trying to play it cool. He rings like the CIA contact centre. Yeah. And and they give him the whole are you intact thing, which is very much condos cruellest. Condor, yeah. Do you think they've they've replaced that with a terrible AI agent by now as well? Well. It's also sorry. It's also It's also a Mission Impossible because David Kepp also wrote the first Mission Impossible.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, so if the TV series The Night Agent has anything to say about it, it's it's still just a guy in a basement room with no windows with a big fucking folder, like a big like documents with, with code words and shit. And like these like agents ring him and he's like flicking through and they're giving him code words and shit. And he's like, fuck my calls on that short life. Yeah, then she's rocked up and she appears what she appears in the hotel room in in, in Moscow.

I just SAT like on the bed man I'm that's creepy as fuck with his. Gun next to her, indeed. A note that it's pointing at the door. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then and then she's like, she does this whole like spiel at him. Yeah. And like the energy she says it with is like unhinged. She's not like frantic or upset or like words up or crying. She's like. Got a cold? Kind of like this. This could end with you like shooting me so. I dropped everything and I called it every favour that I knew. And I spent 4 hours at the consulate begging for a visa.

You know, I wanted to make this, this grand gesture. I wanted you to see what you meant to me. So I'm here and you have to say something. Well, maybe it's maybe it's awful or hurtful or shameful. I don't know. But. You have to talk to me. You can't let me think that I'm crazy anymore, because now I know that I'm not.

Just talk to me. Will you meet me halfway? I'm in. The CRA thank.

You brilliant in this film? Honestly, I think she's a brilliant Kathy Ryan. She's she's just so fucking pissed off. But is that, is that who Kathy Ryan's meant to be? I mean, I guess she is in the books, right? Tell me about Kathy Ryan in the books. Kathy Ryan. 'S a lot more kind of opinionated and fierce about things in the books and like sure, like even even in even in the pair and the dragon Jack Ryan President Jack Ryan is, is having to smoke cigarettes secretly like like he's got a tab habit that he keeps from his wife because he's scared of her.

She's a doctor, right? Like that makes sense. Yeah, but, but, but, but also she's like a Catholic trot wife. He was going to fucking hit him with like a spoon or whatever, you know. And it's like, but I'm like she's like, like she's not like a shrinking Violet in the books. Like and she gives Jack Ryan shit and pushes back at him, you know, when he's when he's out lying and stuff, as far as I recall. So I like her in this even not as a Kathy Ryan, even as just a character in general. It's there's a stark difference as well from when Ben Affleck Jack Ryan tells Kathy that he said the CIA and the some of all feels like what goes it goes straight on Reddit and posts a thread about it and but Kathy Ryan in this is like, Oh my God, thank fuck.

I thought you were having an affair. It's like about it now the gun makes sense. Right. OK. Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, exactly. Yeah. It's like because, I mean, it's a whole different ball game. If you're off, if you go into Moscow to have an affair and you've put a fucking sidearm with you, right? That's. Yeah, well, that sounds like maybe sex tourism. Yeah, that really does. It's like fucking hell, but it's like, I'm a passport bro. I was so worried about you. I thought, why did you go to Thailand? Like so much more dangerous in Moscow.

OK, anyway, let's circle back to Kira. Like his reaction to finding out that Jack Ryan's in the CIA because I want to go back to Jack Ryan's recruitment to the CIA first, which is an incredible scene where he's he's he's done rehab and watching really obviously from a mezzanine floor, which is all panel of the glass is, is Kevin Costner as commander top at U.S. Navy and he's talking to somebody off the screen. I don't, I can't remember who he's talking to going like, tell me about this kid. And this guy's like he's a Lieutenant, the US Marines and he, he wrote a report when he's at School of Economics about money.

And they wrote another report when he was in the Marines about. Traffic patterns. Traffic patterns in Holmand, all of it. And he's like, so do you want to recruit him? Was like, I want to talk to him not today, but soon. And then, like the next scene, they're talking, but this time, like Kevin Costner has rocked up in like, he's nose ones. And then like Chris Pines, like, Christ, Chris Mann's like, why the uniform this time? And he's like, what do you mean? He's like, you were watching me the other day.

And it's like, my God, Jack Ryan is such an observant, intelligent guy. He's spotted the guy who was stood directly in front of him in front of a giant placed glass window looking down on him while he was doing exercise. Well, you see, the reason he spotted him was because you hadn't taken the Percocets yet, so. His mind was still. Clear Don't. Don't do drugs, kids. Because he's a Marine. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah and then and then then Kevin cost was like I just want to thank you for your service.

OK, That's like yeah imagine if my if my boss rang me and was like Mike, how you doing? Yeah, I'm good. Thanks yeah What's going on? Just want to thank you for your service mate that your. Response is like thanks you too. Yeah, thank. Thank you too. Yeah, thank you for your service. Yeah. OK, cool. Is this circle jerk over there like what the fuck? Yeah, right. So. What's so? What's the real reason you called me? Yeah, well, about that report anyway. So, yeah, Yeah. So that happens. And then and then Kevin course is all like, right.

I actually, I want to recruit you for the CIA because he he does that. And then he goes for then Jack Ryan goes for a run. And as he's out for a run in the in the piston rain, he sees him again in a darkened room, stood there imposedly in a darkened room. So he enters the room to talk to him and he's like, why are you watching me? And he's like, I've been the CIA. And I want to repeat you. I heard that. I saw that work you did. And it was astounding. It was incredible. And I think you should be in the CIA.

And then and then Jack Ryan's like, oh, the CIA aren't aren't you guys like really bad for torturing people and rendition and like, you know, installing dictatorships in South America, death squads in the death squads. Are you just generally or you know, just a general like force for evil in this post 911 world? And, and, and Kevin Goza says my favourite thing in the movie, which is that's not our unit. My unit is a different. My unit is in a different say. It goes to a different school. Actually, it's from Canada.

Actually. My say, hey, my say only stops 9/11's happening again. I'm like, what do you think that the torturer guys are trying to do? You all think you're doing the right thing.

It's incredible. I was like, no, that's the guys down the hall, that's the, that's the rendition and torture at the parliament. We don't talk to those guys. We're on a different softball team. Yeah. Jack, do you talk to the guys from HR? Man. We're we're on different sittings for lunchtime, yeah. I don't even know those guys. Yeah, they're on. They're on 1st sitting, We're on 2nd sitting. None of the waterboarding guys are going to be your line manager. Like don't worry about it. Don't worry about it, but it's fine.

Don't worry about it. It's. Cool. Anyway, we we are in a secret nerds department of the CIA where we hire nerds to look at money. And since you've got a qualifications and money and you're a Marine, you're the guy for the job. And then we kept like 10 years later, he was working on Wall Street. And he hasn't aged at all. He hasn't aged at all. Yeah, 10 years later and he looks exactly the same. Yeah, so good. You see, that's like the CIA anti ageing technology that they put in him, you know? Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, they just make a bit of mortal like the like, like the still the thing, like the like you're driving the CIA and the shoot you just in case you're a Highlander Eskimo, which is why the CIA is just full of these like undying guys with catanas and ponytails. Well, yeah, right. Yeah, the same same price for Keira Knightley as well. This one's from 2014. So let me just do some quick maths. She was 17 when they filmed Love, actually 17 plus that was in 2000. So probably plus plus 14, you know, like 30 odds, which means that she should be in her 40s by the time we're in the current timeline.

Yeah. Yeah, I'm not getting that vibe. Be a woman and and remain so. So yeah, it's sort of weird about women's appearances, but no one's aged is 1 trying to get to including Kevin Costner as well. It just doesn't even like hang a lampshade on it. It just kind of like let's you buy into the fact that all these people are just like Pret and naturally youthful. It's not like in, it isn't it isn't like in like previous Jack Ryan films when like Admiral Greer gets old and dies, you know, it's like, Nope, eternal American youth.

I don't know what right and they only did this because they had to have 911 being the inciting incident for his joining of the military. Yeah. But like, you didn't have to join the day 9/11 happened, do you know what I mean? Yeah, I can. I can just imagine because like he's in London as well. Like it's imagine, like rock it up to the US Embassy and being like, get me on a fucking plane. And they're like, step right aboard, son. You're halfway through a dissertation at the LSA. Oh, we're going to send you to Marine school, man.

You're on to the islands. A lot of people come here so they can get degrees, and you're bidding off your degree to be here, OK. Fucking amazed that it's like, yes, you're a wild one my friend. You're going to do so much writing about traffic. God, you're going to write an incredible book about this. Oh Jesus Christ. Which his senior officers won't read, but the CIA will. So the CIA is essentially spying on American troops, right? Yeah, that's quite well at. This point because I just. Keep submitting the same report like like like a hastener to be senior officers.

I wrote this and he got. Flagged. I got flagged by the algos. Put my head. Yeah. Because, right. Anyway, while he's in Wall Street, he's doing his compliance officer job, working on his own. Nobody knows he's in the CIA. He just thinks he's working for some firm. And he does some type E, type E. And his and his mate who's a total fuck boy turns up on. Like just a try boy too. Hard, but a bike. And he's like, Oh yeah, you're going to yeah, Maddie, want to try and fuck that girl from arbitrage, Right.

And it's like, yeah, man, can you? It's mad. He's just so sharp. It takes a special breed of person. It's not messed up. Yeah, it takes a special breed of person to keep working on Wall Street after 2008. He's just incredibly built different. There he is, like in his little levers and his little motorbike and he's like, he wouldn't even know the girl's name. He's just like that girl I like and. Yeah, it's like, oh, this, this, there's a girl. I really want to smash an arbitrage. I'm going to get a get a motorbike and tracks like, yeah, named Sarah, by the way, just now we've got a motorbike.

You're totally going to. What the fuck? Man, I don't understand. I don't understand about Wall St, bro. Can't. Can't talk to a girl. That's just a strange combination of factors. That's so weird and and like almost like kind like whitewashers. Wall Street reputation is just like a bunch of high speed cranked up dudes who love Laco Carina are the fucking decadent, and this is just one guy who's a little bit of a clumsy fuck boy. Yeah, man, so strange. I know a few people in the obviously I know a lot of officers and they because I'm one of them.

But I've known and a few who joined and then left because they were just doing it for a few years to sort of develop a bit of ACV. But then they were like, I don't think I like it anymore because it's, you know, it's a hard and unpleasant job a lot of the time. So he was like, I don't think I don't think I like it anymore. I think I'm just going to go and work in the city. What you had that as an option. You could just wander in and make a shit, tell him Canary Wharf or whatever. And then just like in the city.

And then just like, that's something that's two people. I know at least you were just like, you know what, I'm going to Jack in being another gay because it's difficult. And instead, I'm going to just handle shits of money for banks instead. Good grief. Good grief. Yeah, Good grief. Indeed. Anyway, he finds a bunch of anomalies in some Russian markets, all linking to a firm by a guy owned by this guy Chevron, who is Kenneth Brunner. And he basically has to go to Moscow to check it out. So he has this discussion with Keira Knightley about how he has to go to Moscow.

And she's like, what was the end of this movie you were looking at? And. So I want to circle back to this film. Jack, who are your? Fucking you're hiding three different women under the floorboards, aren't you? He's a super marriage pillar as well. So like he keeps saying, he keeps saying like, well, look, it wouldn't be a big deal if we were just married. What would you get married? It wouldn't be a big deal if we were married. Like why you worried so much? Just marry me already. And it's like.

But I mean, he wants to, like, it's like, gets explained later that he wants to marry us so he can tell her he's in the CIA. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Seems like a bit of an arbitrary distinction, but yeah. So he goes to, he goes to Moscow. He's met at the airport by a big burly bodyguard dude who drives into his hotel and they're having and there's a bit that I'm sure you're going to talk about in a bit, mate, where he there's a big table full of handguns and he has and he shows a little Chevron card and picks up his handgun in the airport on the way out.

I'm eagerly awaiting the rundown of every single handgun on that table. I'm not going to rundown on every single handgun on that table, but I do have a few comments to make though. Good fun. And then he gets to gets to gets to the gets to the hotel and he should and he's like, I've got to check the room first. So they go in the room together and it's like, look at that view isn't an incredible view. And it's Moscow. And obviously the reason this whole movie happened at all was that because they were allowed to film in Moscow for a bit, because they've got lots and lots of location footage of Moscow.

Cool. And then the guy tries to kill him and there's a big fight sequence and there's a big bathroom fight. I love a bathroom fight. I love a bathroom fight. One of the better bathroom fights that we've actually watched. Yeah, I think. Yeah. I was talking about when we were doing the Firefox episode, we were talking about maybe doing like a power ranking of bathroom fights. And this one didn't even feature on my list because I didn't didn't, didn't remember it. But actually, it's a pretty good bathroom fight, right?

Yeah, yeah, we'll have to start ranting them because it's a great bathroom fight. There's there's also because there's a 11 the Mission Impossibles, right Fallout. I am sure there's a really brutal one in Shaft in Africa. Wow, OK. I mean, it might be, it might be a misfire on here, but I kind of do remember there being like a brutal bathroom fight scene Shaft in Africa. Richard Roundtree just beaten some guy to death, which is you always love to see it. Yeah. A friend of mine sent me with X zero contacts the clip from like a Russian action film of the grimiest and most insane bathroom fight scene I may have sent you one night when I was drinking actually.

You sent it to me last year. Yeah, but I remember. It's fucking nuts like this. Like vibrator was used as a weapon. At one point the protagonist pisses on his enemy because his enemy jumps somebody's at the urinal and it's like there's a lot going on in that scene. I had I had zero contacts to say my friend like texted us up one night and then like out of the comment wise piss attack and it's like so yeah, fuck me bud. What else? We got Casino Royale. We've got Eastern Promises, almost certainly the rare I can't remember.

There's a there's a pretty decent bathroom gunfight in that ridiculous Arnold Schwarzenegger one that would want to do a clear and present bruise episode on True Lies. True Lies, yeah, yeah. Bathroom gonna fight in the punch up, but it's got some great kind of comedy beats. So when we get into the when we get into the bathroom fights, right guys? Here's what I propose. OK, I think one of the scoring criteria has to be do they use the features of the bathroom in a unique fighting capacity? So you know exactly an environmental kill using a sink or a shower or a bath or a shower curtain or a toilet brush or any of the item you might find in the bathroom.

The. Hard dryer. Hand dryer. Electric toothbrush. Jason Airblade electric toothbrush. Gorot, somebody with some floss. What what are those? What are those machines that sells like condoms and sex pills and stuff like that? You just, you just like smash a guy's face against that. It floods his like throat with like those Borna pills and he chokes a. Guy has a heart attack because he has too much Gorana in his system. Oh. My God, do you think it's actual real Gorana? In those I was just like dust.

So it gets real. Gorana, you're tasting right now. Son, you don't know Jack. You don't know how deep the rabbit hole goes. The the the Sainsbury's toilet burn uphill rabbit hole. This is a fucking weird episode. Welcome. To the world that is surreal, OK.

Snake snake, you've got to activate the burn uphill machine. What is something I learned from one of my enemies? OK, anyway, I like this bathroom fight because he drowns the guy in the bath, which is horrible for the guy, but a pretty pretty cool, inventive way to dispatch a foe. I really like how we how he drowns him and like a small about the water as well as kind of coming up and he's fighting them and there's this real look of exertion on on Chris Pine's face. You know, it's a fucking great action scene.

Actually I really enjoyed. It I like it because I mean, after this we have but we have all the the food is the condo stuff we're talking about. And we have the bit where he phones Cathy and explains. Well, he doesn't explain anything. He hangs upon her and she's like he must be having an affair because he said he was he was really jetlag not to go and he wants to call me in the morning. Oh my God, he must be used to be about to go and fuck a hooker. And then and then he meets up with Kevin Costner on the park bench and Kevin Costner he's got like a Oh man, what do they call it?

It's like a special action dog. It's a it's a quasi personal dog that he's he's stealing from someone's yard. A bit of trade craft, steal a dog and. And it's the same sitting, so the. Publication with it. And it's, and it's sitting so calmly as well. And it's like, that's not behaving like a stolen dog. And that's. Surely, surely stealing someone's dog is a bad thing to do as a spy because now when people are out looking for the dog and showing, showing his name and stuff and you're sat in a public place.

So people are real. It's it's not ultimately attracting people towards you because they're going to go like, why have you got my fucking dog? Yeah, and and Kevin Costner probably isn't working under legal cover, right? He's not. He's because I mean, it's your. Mission, should you choose to accept it, is to steal this beautiful dog from someone's front garden. You'll be disavowed if detected. Well, he would, that's the thing. He's an illegal, he would be disavowed. He hasn't got like fucking embassy cover or whatever, you know, like he's he's not a quote unquote diplomat.

So he's gotten fucking disappeared. He's getting taken out in the woods and getting doomed. There's no reason for my steal someone's dog yet. It's so funny how also like I sort of chill and fucking like just calm. The dog is like you've been stolen from some fucking Muscovites garden. I also love these in like the middle of a very urbanised city and there's a backyard with a dog in it. Yeah. Another thing I don't understand, for Kevin Costner's rules, this is like where does he sit in the organisation?

So he's in a, he's in a state where he's in first name terms of the president of United States and they've got like witty banter flying around all the time. At the same time at the CIA he has like unit level command, which isn't that big because he's obviously my unit. My unit does financial and nerdy crime. That doesn't sound like a very big or important part of the CIA. It's more than. Yeah. He's not like a deputy director. That that kind of stuff. Wouldn't that like get bend off like other subordinate like departments and shit?

If it's like financial crime effect in the US, wouldn't like an FBI kind of thing or like an NSA kind of thing? Maybe probably, I don't know. But I mean, the, the real truth is that he's in the IMF, you know? Exactly. That's that's that's why he's not the team that does like, you know, the renditions water board and with testicular torsion. He's he's in the team that does. I know, I know, somebody got testicular torsion once. We're in an exercise in Dartmoor. Jesus Christ. Not the worst particular torsion story I've got from the Navy, anyway.

Got a worse one. Let's spit it. Okay? Right, So okay, here we go. So. Welcome to Welcome to ball chat with clear and present dudes. They were looking at the terrible things that happened with man's testicular region. Right. OK, so this story goes back to HMS Raleigh, which is the phase one training establishment for junior rights in the Royal Navy. I went through that myself a long time ago and somebody else went there. And what is right is you have a various duties you've got to hold in the training block that you're all accommodated in, right?

They're just things to do in anything to keep occupied, basically. Like one of them is you've got to manage the visitor log on the door to your building. Nobody comes to your building. So you're just there feeling every time someone comes in out, you could basically write their name down again, sign it. And it's just like, why? It's just people going to the NAFI, coming back from the NAFI and stuff. Just just busy body shit. But it's preparing you for being AQM, the gangway, I suppose. Not that you write everything down.

OK, whatever. Anyway, this. So we do like evening cleaning stations, which is like a quick 20 minutes clean of everything. Everyone has their little place they go to hence stations. And I used to do like actually like buff the floor because used to get covered in like, like rubber marks from from our boots every single day. And twice a day I have to go and rub them all off again with with like steel, wood and a bit of brass. So it was a fucking stupid job. Anyway. One guy's job was like taking all the gas out from all the gas bins and throwing them into the skipper on the back in the courtyard.

And one time this guy did it, but he had like heavy bags and he had to jump up to like throw the bags into the bin. And when he jumped up, he was like, he jumped up and like made contact with the bin, right? And on the big skip that there was, there was a big jitty bit of rusty metal, like sticking off it. And on the return journey down, it went up his scrotum through his trousers. And he was like, and then he and then the next thing anyone saw was the guy coming into like the quad and the little jitty bod who was like filling everyone's names saw him.

And he kind of walked into the room holding his like his hand around his groyne, OK, covered in blood. And his two testes were like in his hand having exited his scrutum. And he kind of like did that showed him and then like collapsed on the floor. And then everyone's like screaming, crying, throwing up. And the ambulance came but. Yeah, you see, Cathy, Cathy Muller, witness that automatic knowledge. Go Stage 3, isn't it? You die. You got what, two months to live? Your your skin's looking a bit yellow there.

Incredibly not sallow looking person at all. Spider web Blunt things in the back of your hands painted in the last scene, Yeah. God, gorgeous great man. Didn't know I was talking to Super dark. Holy shit. I am honestly the biggest Kathy Bueller Stan, and I'm getting for you, bigger Kathy Bueller Stan. Specifically this one as we're going through this episode, by the way. Wild be a struck what I was talking about Yeah, so they're on the they're on the park bench. They're talking away came across this hall.

But like the first person I killed blah blah, blah, blah, blah. And it's like who was he? He's like it was a she oh we've got a bad ass over here and then and then they have a little chat and he says to him like you're not a land list. You're operational now, which I think is I'd be like entering a service complaint, they reflected in my annual report, like operating with you on my tours. It's like, I like how we specifically ads as well. She wasn't like she was innocent. She was like a bystander like she was, she was a fucking bystander.

And he still remained in the CIA. Sounds like you're not very good at your job, Kevin Guster. At least in the Jack Ryan series, to have this background thing of how Jim Grier straight up threw somebody out of a window and that's why he got sick. The kind of shit assignments and they get like he's like, isn't the thing that Jim, Jim Grier was in line for like the Moscow job, but then he threw somebody out of a window and like Turkey or Pakistan or something and then like actually Jim, you fuck now, mate, eventually does get the Moscow job.

Yeah, he just got the Moscow job eventually, but. Yeah, yeah, he gets it because the storyline needs him again, basically. Yeah, like, what the fuck? So basically, yeah, this guy kills an innocent civilian. Really bad luck for the CIA here, by the way. Incredibly bad. She came up behind him too quick. What does this mean? Kill his wife or something? Did he? Did he did like his daughter? Go like, oh dad, you're back from work. He turns around just like a name is your neck. Snap on her. He's gone from never killing anyone before to killing somebody who sneaked up on him or just was behind him rapidly.

Jesus Christ. Oh no, no, like. I've got to kind of start a reaction sometimes, but like just there's like a million what happened to my mate, how he killed her. You know, he did do the job. Or like he just like rips out a phone karambit or something like slices them open and it's like, shit, you're just like my elderly neighbour who who was about to be on the shore like she needs help with a car or something. And it's like, I hope this doesn't affect my high-powered job in the fucking CIA. Did it even happen at work?

Oh my God, probably. Some random unmedicated 20 year old on her way back to college or something. It's like she stopped walking up behind me. It's like Oh my God. I mean followed stop. Specifically said unmedicated as well. I might know someone who might fit that description. Unmedicated is right though, because you've got to keep taking those anti CIA pills. Does dark as big as big as big as if you're full of like the contrast CIA and all that. Can't attack you, can't stab you. Well, somebody who is full of contrasial is Kathy Ryan, who confronts Jack in his hotel meeting after this and is delighted to find out that Jack is in the CIA.

Because obviously she has. She has fewer qualms about it than Jack himself. Who's inside. Yeah. They could. And cool also be in the CIA. When's when's the next mandatory fund day? When's the next company BBQ? I want to meet all your Co workers. I want to be a CIA wife. I want to, I want to like, tell people to like, call me by your rank, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can I can I put like CIA spouse on my CD if you? Can I put a CIA bumper stick I run by Prius? She's in the HOA and she's going to be turned over.

It's like if you don't repaint your bins, my husband is going to make you disappear. It's more like if you don't repaint your shit, my husband's boss is just going to kill you with a combat knife for being too close to him. That's insane. Yeah. He's like, I'm in the CIA. Thank God. I think I started laughing before she even said I thought you were having an affair. So I just was laughing really hard at the idea she was going. Thank God you're in the say. Like what the fuck? It is. It is like, let's face a fucking safeguard.

It's an absolute male fantasy to like that, that it's like kind of catering to to tell the woman you've got a really fucked up secret and goes off that fuck for that. Get in. So glad you told me that I'm not angry at all for you hiding this world for an entire 10 year relationship. Yeah, you've been lying to me for a decade after I helped you literally back on your feet, literally walk again. You've not given me the fucking respect and dignity to break the CI as rules, rules that they're breaking by giving the fucking Barretta and telling you to kill people.

By the way, you're an analyst. And like, she's like, oh, thank God for that matter. I feel so fucking respected and so goddamn cherished. Thank you, John. It's insane. Yeah. It's catering to a particular fantasy, isn't it, of even for guys in the military. There is one of the funniest scenes in the movie, which is Kathy Ryan just getting drafted into the mission now because she's here. It's wild but but like before that just quickly skip back. We've got the scene when he meets to Raven for the first time.

What's my Internet? Yeah. And and to have this like proper, like fucking like super villain, kind of like conversation, which this is one of the points when it really doesn't feel like a track Ryan movie. Yeah. You know, it's like a Bond movie, doesn't it? Yeah, and yeah, yeah, it doesn't feels like a Bond movie. And so there's a whole that kind of back and forth. Oh, you know, I don't know where my where BB. Dang, my fucking security guy's gone. No, he'll come back hungover and remorseful. It's like you fucking killed him.

The track Ryan fucking makes himself by saying, oh wow, well, I was well, I was injured in fucking Afghanistan. And you know, like sheriff and cigar. Yes, me too. Same same same empire was it Same graveyard, different empires? It was, it was. It was like a different time, different empire, same graveyard. Yeah, yeah. And my sons too. Which doesn't make sense. Doesn't make sense. Doesn't, doesn't, doesn't, doesn't fit. Doesn't make any sense. That's evidence of a rewrite, I think. Yeah, I was plenty of that, I think.

And it's got my grenade on his desk as well. And it's like, your grenade is my grenade. And I'm like, am I? Yes, that's M 67. That's an American grenade. It's roughly the size of a baseball. We've been through this already. We have been through this already. It could be propelled by one of the Imfs man. Portable, easily broken down. Fucking mobile tactical baseball pitching machines. We've covered this. You are Americans, you think you are direct, but perhaps you are just rude. Which is wild because like, Slavic people have like the reputation of being incredibly the most fucking direct about things, right?

The. Most the most quote direct people I've ever been a life of all being Easter European. Yeah, I mean, I fucking spend between 5:00 to 9:00 days a week sitting next to a Ukrainian guy at work and yeah, they are. They do not beat around any kind of fucking Bush. I don't. We are lying. I thought an SMCG 1 deployment in 2020 and one of the weeks during it was a Polish pass X and there was a Polish OPS officer on the battle staff and routinely every week he would call me and be like, hey, Mike, it's I thought your name is actually.

So that's a shame. He was like, hey, Mike, I just remind you your Sid Diaglabs are shit. And I was like, what? What do you mean, man? Like you're not using the proper format. I'm like, send me the format then and I'll use it. But in the meantime, you're going to keep getting the shit. It's every single day, mate. I'm not like it's every. Day, bro. Like every single day, it's like. Fucking amazing. At some point I'm going to like roll my hands up here like unless you've got a better format mate by my CEO signing off of these and we can fuck.

Yeah, and and then Jack's like, Oh well, you Russians think you're poets and stuff, but, and I forget like the the last bit of that sentence, but it's like you think you're poets and whatever, but you just stand up pussies or non American or whatever. Oh, ridiculous. Then there's the This isn't Geo couples therapy, it's geopolitics. Yeah, that's brilliant. What's like we We've got 8 minutes to make this plot. We've wasted four of them. Yeah, that's wild. Like Eat fucking Kevin Costner does get some of the best.

The lines he has often don't make sense, but they are bars. Some of his lines are quotable. Most of his lines are like that. There's loser lines in this movie where it's like it's a piffy little line, but I'm like, you won't be able to say it. Yeah. So how Sharif and returned? Somehow Sharif and returned yeah so they're doing this plan and right they're in a they're in a safe house and their plan is question mark. I zoomed out so bad. I think, I think, I think there's like, he's made plans to go to dinner with Shraven.

He's bringing his wife Kathy along because Shraven is aware that cafe's around before he even was aware. And yeah, they're going to. Because Shraven's a fucking home bracker and he loves having sex with married women. Exactly right. And he's like, ah, so someone's observing your hotel and knows that your wife's here. I'm a really bizarrely horny man, you know? Yeah, yeah, for a guy he's about to fucking die, by the way. He's he's he's just say keeping track of his body count is like trying, like he's, he's probably got a mate from from the Afghan war That's, that's had sex and more women than him.

And he's like keeping tally. And on his last day, he's like, yeah, Sergey Ivanovich, I beat you 273. I'm going to shoot myself now. Yeah. Man, I would do the voice but I feel like that's only one of the meerkats from the advert. Fucking hell. Right. So I think that part is they're going to like steal his wallet and then in that wallet is like an access card. And then they're going to go into his building where he works, and they're going to unlock a. Yeah. Vault of some kind and hack into a computer and steal some packets of data about accounts or something.

They need to plug something into the mains electricity and that's going to let them access the laptop. And it's like Tom Clancy was alive when this film was being made, but you can tell he just didn't give a fuck. Yeah, man. Yeah, exactly. I think this is the thing I think this movie might not have. I've got no evidence to put this up with, right? But bringing David kept on board, I think he had like no inkling of a tad of respect for the any Tom Clancy source material at all. It was just like, I'm going to make a generic spy movie and we're going to slap the the Jack Ryan branding on it and turn it into an origin story for Jack Ryan and have another crack at making this franchise a thing.

Because it doesn't, it doesn't feel like a Jack Ryan or a Tom Clancy product because there's nowhere near dense and stupid enough. Yeah, it's just like a pretty standard. We're going to do a little heist and I'll be that. That's it. It's a heist movie, primarily with with fake, what feels like a terrorism subplot tacked on. That, as I said, shouldn't be a subplot. It should be. There should be two ear plots, right? Yeah, I feel like strongest bit of this movie is the dinner scenes with. That's great.

Yeah, that's the best bit where like, Jack Ryan is overacting and being drunk and obnoxious and boorish to get to a point where he can, like, it's basically tool, I want to fuck off so he can go off and do his mission. Yeah. And then? Like pickpocket and kind of like drop off thing of the wallet which is pretty fucking slick. Absolutely. And then? Shriven's like we're going to fuck. Exactly. And it's the Shriven and Kathy scenes that I think are brilliant. Kathy is like just so up for this and another reason why I think Kathy's a bit fucking mental because she is so up to this from the off.

Like she's, she's went from like you're in the CIA to I'm in the CIA. She, she is literally this point, a better field agent than him. You know what it is? This this this is more like a Mary Pot Foley origin story, really. Yeah, man, like she's like a proper, she's being a real honey drop here. Yeah, just just just doing proper cowboy shit in Russia against the Russians. That's that's like the shit Mary Pot Foley was doing and Cardinal the Kremlin, you know, Yeah. That's a cool pull. Yes. We have the soul sequence with like Kathy Ryan talking to Shereeven and that's when she's like, how advanced is your cirrhosis?

And she like diagnosis them across the table and they talk like about Russian literature and they. Yeah, that she kind of, yeah, there's a bit of a bit of backwards for, there's a bit of bit of bit of sexual tension potentially brewing, certainly from, from horny old Shereeven side at least. And she's doing such a good job of it that she's getting like phone, he's getting calls and stuff and he's like ignoring them so you can keep talking to her and stuff. Much, much, much like Jack ignored her phone call earlier.

So it's like. Perfect. The heist kind of happens. I don't really like there's, there's there's a lot of tension in it, I guess, because it's like, you know, he's got a good limited amount of time and stuff and he's he's running out of phone signal and like good jazz. And there's a oh, there's a mobile op centre in a in a van as. Well yes, there's a van which will love love an OP centre van. Yeah, love that. Tom's also providing Overwatch with a sniper rifle. Just straight up causes an international incident by shooting some innocent private security guards mercilessly.

This. This man's a rogue fucking agent. This man's not in the CIA. Nobody in this film's in the CIA. The CIA is blind to this operation, mate. Completely, this is actually the FSB posing as the CIA in order to to create a false flag attack. And remember, no Russian. Yeah, nice. Yeah. Yeah, God right. Can't. Chase with Land Rovers. I was going to say I zoomed out so bad from this. So what happens is. Kathy gets kidnapped. Well, before that, so Triven gets his his his wallet kind of like backwards inserted back onto him again as his all security teeth still come up and be like something's wrong, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

And everyone's like on a bit of a stand off. And yeah, then yeah, you're right. There's a there's a Land Rover chase a lot of violence here as Land Rovers. Sonia, come on, pipe up. There's a Land Rover owner. Yeah, I've sent this about a Bond film as well before. I I think as much as I love mine, I think there are better cars to pick for a car chase. You want something that's able to go fast and that is. Pretty liquids in size, yeah. Keep liquids inside and keep other liquids outside. Not breakdown.

Not breakdown. I kind of. Personally I wouldn't if you want to. If you want to to chase someone I don't know, I think you you'd be better off in AVW Beetle than. You know, say what though, as a. It looks great as a gangster car, but. As an as an innocent, rude user, I I do think there's something quite plausible about the the image of seeing a bunch of Land Rovers driving like twats in my vicinity. Yeah, I mean, that's something I've seen. Fair enough. I mean also I I've experienced this, people do leave you more space if you're driving one of them because they don't want to be rear-ended by a three tonne box of biscuits.

So it's probably a good choice if you just want to throw a plastic card of the way if you you just don't want to be able to stop. Yeah. Yeah, I think the story calls for as well, because it needs like the physical space within it for him to do that legitimately horrible scene with. There, it's not a. Physical space inside the land roller, though certain. Yes, but the point is for the story. The story needs physical space for him for him to do this now they could have gone like 3 days of the condo and and had like a Ford Bronco, which which has an insane amount of physical space to like interrogate people, but wouldn't make sense in Russia.

The could He was one of those like Lada. Is it the Lada Neva, the Russian, the Russian 4x4? Yeah, which which probably would have the physical space, but also looks shit inside and isn't a kind of oligarchy mobile is. I mean, a lot of us are chosen because the intimidate. Is driving a Russian made car. Yeah, and, and, and the show, the show the wealth and almost kind of like Western alignment in the capitalism kind of sense of, of virtual even, you know. But yeah, they needed someone that like projects a sense of bigness, even though as we're all aware, there's no spits and Land Rovers.

They're not fucking TARDIS. But this one as an observation would do. I put light bulb in your mouth and you bite it the door on your lungs and you fucking die. Yeah, but he should. He should be calling Jack, like squeezed into the side of the car like I have your wife. I cannot sit straight inside my car because I am more than heaven. But I will kill it as. Soon as I have stopped being stuck in the door. The the the chase ends pretty properly. So like he one thing, he's calling him on the phone and they're having and having the the phone chats every now and again.

And I think they're not as good as they could because like Chris Pine doesn't doesn't have any bars. He's just like, I will find you. I will find you. It's like, yeah, OK, right. Yeah. I mean, that's not that good. Near green levels of of sass. Yeah, yeah, repeat this. You must be. Getting away with my wife. I can't believe if you're kidnapping my wife, this can't be happening. Yeah, then they do catch up. I do like. I do like when he catches up though, because he just kind of runs at the car and smashes the windscreen with a with a like a.

Pipe. Pipe, yeah. And then you must, you must knock out the driver because then it stops and then it zooms, it crashes into the car in front of it, which is cool. And then just when you think that actor Raven's going to get like some kind of piffy line or something, you just get punched in the face and knocked out, which I really, which I really enjoy. I really enjoy just by Chris, by just banging them out. He's good. I mean, that's the Marine in him, right? That's it. You want to win a war? Tell it the Marines you know you want.

You want to stop a Russian oligarch just before he launches it? The main portion of his monologue? Just tell it the Marines man, fucking switch them off. Really enjoy that and then obviously, yeah, Kathy Ryan's rescued and and what we thought might have started to be like the dramatic climax, the movie which in all the other dark Ryan movies, not all of them, but like Patriot Games, for example, ends with like a big kind of attack on his home and his family's in danger and stuff. So you think you would be forgiven for thinking that the big kind of worry here is something's happening to Kathy, but no, she's rescued.

And then as you said earlier on what should be the airport of this movie but it's been shunted into like a weird 2 scenes worth of subplot background first. Revealed. Yeah. Is the main, yeah, which is the main attack of the movie. And I, I think, right. So I, I, I, it's weird. It's definitely an evidence evidence of rewrites because when I was watching the scene where they're sat on the park bench and Harper is explaining the whole issue to the movie to to to Jack around what you're saying like, you know, they're going to trade all this stuff off.

I honestly zoned out going to do all these trades. They're going to do all the trades at the same time. It's going to crash the markets and like China is going to be affected weirdly worse than Russia. I don't know why because because they don't have oil reserves, but Russia's got oil reserves. So they're going to bounce back. But America hasn't got any manufacturing anymore. Bad lids and. Fucking shit lips. America doesn't have manufacturing anymore. Smash cuts to the sleeper agent working. It was more part in Michigan.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But yeah, yeah, yeah. So Americans are manufacturing more Americans. Six Americans are going to bounce back, and people are going to start calling it the American crisis, but then they're going to call it what it really is, the second Great Depression. And what's not going. Yeah, OK. That's not like a compelling movie fuel, though, because if that was to happen, there's not like a really obvious visual image of like, oh, the second Great Depression's happened or it's about to happen.

Like, like unless, unless like the end shot of the movie is like some dude from Wall Street stepping out of his window and and flinging himself at the pavement like like Jack Ryan's Powell. At which at which point? Which point, you know, in A202014 not too long after the financial crash, a little bit of it would have been like. Oh my God, no, the fucking the the rights. Like the worst case scenario, this financial crash happens. Jack Ryan's fuck boyfriend roll the bank has started for the National Archives and they're like, wait, I I as a bank have carried out so much corruption nationally and internationally.

Let's like, shoot themselves in the fucking hair as a cute sick, commit suicide and increasingly gory ways which this film's budget would be better than the way the Neil Breen film showed it. They would like run into like the bank, they would, they would like run face 1st and like static chainsaws and stuff like that, you know? So what they did? That plot point doesn't really work if half of the people are just waiting for the economy to crash so they can can afford a house. Yeah, point of shit and the money, it's like this isn't this is the problem this movie is.

Actually worse than in the 20s. Can we just, can we just maybe just kill the bankers anyway without terrorist plot? This is the problem is that it's it's too complicated for the average movie goer to kind of really like an emotional handle on because we're not watching margin call or like like the big short. Even I need I need a scene this movie where Mogger Robbie in a bubble bath drinking champagne explains to me like, like, like, like why this is a bad thing? Because, like, because like, unfortunately, like Kevin Costner sat on a park bench in Moscow is not doing it for me.

Like I zoned out big time. I mean. The thing is like they actually, they actually talk about like real kind of financial crime things like like dark pool. Algorithms, algorithms and stuff. So like, I did a little bit of reading in the dark pools. I didn't fucking understand it at all, you know, I mean I'm about to start a course on like anti money laundering and financial crime and stuff and that's going to be a fucking hangout When I do that. I've got to see how it's going to be hard. But at the minute I don't fuck about Dick about it.

And because I'm the average moviegoer at this point, you know when someone think of the economy. Right. Yeah. So, yeah. So terrorist plot, Yeah, Yeah. So terrorist plot kicks in and it turns out that there's, as you mentioned, a sleeper cell operating in Pennsylvania or in Michigan, but apparently it's like nobody bombs Pennsylvania. No, they're in Pennsylvania because they've obviously moved from after they've been, they've been dicked, I think. Yeah, because it's that kind of like bomb factory, like getting shifts.

It's like bomb factory stuff for Pennsylvania. He's got like, there's like a bit of a rat line this to this like shack in Pennsylvania where he's where he's going to make a fucking Alfred Monroe Federal building style truck bomb, you know, Oklahoma City redux. Another thing that didn't ever make sense to me, but I guess kind of does if you read it between the lines but isn't really said explicitly in the movie, is that the young man, he was the operative I guess, in the cell, I think is meant to be Chevron's son.

Yeah. The determinant when they're on that flight back from Russia, when to do with the incredibly rapid intelligence analysis. Indeed. So all the bullshit that he was saying earlier on, my son died. And when he's eight, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, it's, yeah, it's for Dunk. Like if you had access to that already, then surely this is already swept up, right? Like, like, OK, cool. Anyway, yeah. So they determined that he is the guy and that they're going to attack New York and Wall Street. There's one really good bit where Anatoly during the plot his determined is being followed by like an FBI agent or somebody.

So he kills him, the knife finds his badge, finds his FBI and has to go on the run. But he turns up to his old work and the most incongruous thing happens, which for British people is seeing Sinbad from Brookside. Like, hey, how everyone's looking for you. The. FBI has been all over this place. Please, what's going on? Are you in trouble or something? Says a guy who ordinarily has a really thick Scouse accent. And then what's going on anyway, right? So then so Anatoly stabs him and this is like weird little camera thing where it pushes in as you.

Get each of the fence dolly's in on him. Dolly's in. Yeah. It's like, what the what? The Movie. Was. For a second, why did it like, yeah, Well, by this one shot in this movie directed by Tony Scott, like what happened? It's like, is, is, is this a forbidden fucking jutsu? Because it's all of a sudden an anime scene, right? Yeah, yeah. And it's like yeah, weird. So yeah, Sinbad from from from brute side. Hard to mention it. So strange. Sangie, you want a Brookside? Brookside was a soap opera and for a time in the United Kingdom there was like each of the major terrestrial channels had like one or two tentpole soap operas going on.

So you had like EastEnders, Coronation Street, ITV, also that Emmerdale. But oh, coming in off the top rope was Channel 4 with its attempt at this, which is Brookside, all set in a in a cul-de-sac in Liverpool. Everything happened, everything went down. And like Brookside was like, I mean, they're all pretty like far fetched, like dramatic stories. Coronation Street was probably the least Coronation Street had. Like every couple of years or so they would do like one big tentpole thing to try and like reset the balance a bit.

And if they had to like. Someone would get murdered or something. Yes, when we get murdered or there was like the famous train crash and and like, yeah, there was nasty Nick and all that kind of stuff. This is like deep cultural law. You're not going to, I'm not going to bother with you. But like, Emmerdale did the same thing. Emmerdale had its own version of the Lockerbie crash. When an ally that crashed into the village pub, by the way. That's not a joke, Sonya. That actually happened, yeah. And I like I took out like 7 major cast members were taken out basically reframe Basically what happened was I watched an incredibly long YouTube video about this several months ago.

I know right. So, So what what happened was they they changed the filming location for like the, the the village that Emmerdale was set in because before this point it was called Emmerdale Farm and it was like almost single camera between different shots and they didn't have a single location to wrap everything together. And then they got like their own basic like small village, which they had to secure the rights to like film or in and they had like sets built and stuff. And they're like, we need to like rebuild and transition to like the new Emmerdale.

How we're going to do this? We'll fucking drop a plane on the old one and then we'll and then we'll like transition to the new Emmerdale on completion anyway, right. That's a different show, Brookside that. Kind of see that there was, there was that iconic scene when someone delivers Lane, Mr. Prime Minister, a second plane has hit the Woolpack. That didn't happen. That didn't happen. So yeah. Oh what are you now a fucking Woolpack truther? A fucking a fucking a fucking 1994 or whatever it was? Emmerdale plane crash truther?

I see what's going on here. This is not a conspiracy theory podcast. I can't remember, I think it was 92. It was anyway. Anyway, right? So Brookside was like the Scouse version, and it had a bunch of obviously Scows characters, same sort of level of drama. Key things from Brookside. The United Kingdom's first lesbian kiss ever took place, and it was Emma Freel you might know from Marcella. It was Anna Freel, my wife. Is. Emma Freel. It wasn't. It wasn't, it was it wasn't. It wasn't Rory's wife. It was the actress Anna Freel.

Please leave that at the podcast. That's. Different for real. Why are you surprised? Yeah, so. She's not. She's just to the CIA. Oh my God, Oh man. And then, and then the only thing I was going to say after this was this one thing that ties it back to our podcast, which is in it was a who got her start in acting was a young actress called Lisa Faulkner, who I don't know if you remember Rory. She was like, I forgot who's family she was in, but she had like a nose ring and it changed my life. Yeah, when I saw her, I was like, Oh my goodness.

And then and then she would be in the first episode of Spooks. Spooks was an amazing like show on BBC about MI 5. And every week they'd be like a terror plot they've got to like unpack and resolve. But the thing about Spooks was it was the first like big major TV show, at least in the BBC, where like anyone could die. Well, well before Game of Thrones. So in the first episode you're introduced to this team that you'll think is going to be like the like bugs. It's going to be the team that's going to do what every week bugs.

And then and then in that first episode, like Lisa Faulkner just gets her head put into like a chip, like a deep fat fryer and it's just killed. And there was brutal win. It's like, I guess she's on the fucking team anymore. Yeah, real bad. And then she would go on in real life to Mario celebrity chef John Turot and that's and win Slippery Master Chef and that's Lisa Faulkner. Anyway, right back to the movie. There's a fucking bomb underneath Wall Street. I guess it's going to go off and. It's going to bring six to seven buildings down.

You caught that right? Yeah, yeah, 6 to 6-7 are going to get for a 6-7 building to get again, a knockdown. Jack Ryan stops it by stealing a police van and having a fight with Anatoly in the back of it and he crashes. Cardio. Crashes off the dock into the puds and I guess he. Borrows the fuck by motorcycle. He does borrow the football motorcycle. He does, yeah. That he's like super good at driving. Don't worry, man, don't worry about it. It's just Clancy, don't worry about. It it's just Clancy, don't worry about it.

And then, yeah, the van crashes into the organ and then a really unnecessary big explosion effect happens and it looks a bit junky and I don't like it very much anyway. All the bad guys die. There's a bit like some of All Fears. There's a little clean up scene where Chevron gets killed by the FSB and it's Mikhil Porchikov. The ballet dancer shoots him. Yeah, that's wild. Ratz Wilds, Burschakov even. He's an interesting guy. He defected from the SSR in 1974. We had to see him playing in the FSB. But very fun.

So he shoots him. Shoots a guy who's going to die anyway. Seems unnecessary. I. Mean it's just like euthanasia at this point, right? Yeah, yeah, exactly. I put him out his misery. Yeah. Like now your son actually is dead, you know, but OK. And then there's a little scene where Jack Ryder Cafe or the hospital, because Jack's all beaten up and they do a little kind of their version of that bit and Britain's Lost Ark, where she's like, where can I guess you were? It doesn't hurt. He's like, I guess he doesn't hurt, that kind of thing.

And the very final scene of the movie is Kevin Costner and Jack Ryan going like talking about a meeting. That's what happened. And he's like, if he doesn't ask you about it, he doesn't want to know. Keep it short, keep it concise. And did you ever get that Boy Scout on a field trip look off your face? And he's like, no, that's one of the things I love about you, Jack. And then they go into the the room and, uh oh, it's the Oval Office. And he goes, nice to meet you, Mr. President. I'm Jack Ryan.

And it ends and it's like. My God, it's fucking President Mitt Romney. Yeah, Yeah, that's it. Yeah, Yeah. So, so the dude's voice is like really clean, like a white dude. And this came out in 2014 just before the the 2015 sort of primary race for the 20 well, end of 2015 elections in the 2016 presidency, right. So before Trump. And this is from a simpler time where everyone thought like a normal Republican would be on the ballot, right? So to these guys who love the CIA, love American manufacturing, and are deeply passionate about having a white dude in the White House, clearly, clearly put a guy there whose voices sound like a bit like Dick Romney is my is my hypothesis.

I floated it past my wife yesterday and she was like, what are you based not on? I'm like vibes baby but just vibes. Do you think we're going to going to see like films like that where where they do a Donald Trump like voice? Gosh, could you imagine? What? What is the name? It's Ryan. So oh, beautiful name. Wonderful name. Somebody. Well, well, well, well. I mean, in this like version, him, him and his CIA boss go into the Oval Office and they just got like bollocks by Donald Trump acne against the Russians, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's like, where are you? Dare you fucking idiots. They killed your friends. He was a good man, very good man. You killed him. You like Raven? I like Raven. I let him fuck my wife, rather I all set him fuck all the porn stars that I'm paying to have sex with. He's great. He's going to make Russia great again. He's going to make America smile again. Fucking hell. Man. But instead they had like, they had like fucking Mitt Romney style drum. Like at the time there was a Gangnam Style parody song, Mitt Romney style Mitt, Mitt Mitt yellow.

I got a horse in the Olympics man, but I don't even watch him.

Bad Mick Romney style. Jesus Christ. So that was we kind of through the end there because it's just a tight 90s. It's a standard kind of like action movie. It didn't feel like a Tom Clancy movie to me. That could have and probably should have made him more linked to the FSB, not just a rich guy who's doing a little bit of kind of dirty work on on their behalf. Because on one hand, he's got the ability to set up sleeper agents and stuff and he's obviously very, very wealthy and very, very influential.

But also he's being captured a bit too much arm's length from the FSB. And I wonder if this was kind of like because context of when the film was made, Russia was certainly being a shitty country to people on on the global stage. 2014 was when it's initial invasion of Ukraine began. And I think this film was out a little bit before that. Is that right? Well. No, this is 20. This is January 2014. 2014 there you go. So at this point, Russia has obviously it's. Already started very. Shitty they've invaded Georgia beforehand.

There's 2018, 2008, sorry. Yeah, there's, there's, there's been two Chechen wars, but I think there was maybe this kind of the Russians are our friends now kind of thing, still still in, in Hollywood. Yeah. To an extent, To an extent. And I wonder if it's kind of let's make him just a guy who's doing wet works for a certain nastier part of the government because, you know, maybe we'll want to sell this film to Russian language markets, you know? Well, isn't it? I think they should have leaned, I think I mean, OK, they probably would have also some a massive litigation, but they should have let a little bit more heavily into him being basically rumour Abramovich, right like that.

'D be fucking amazing, actually. He just happens to own Chelsea as well. It's like, you know what the film so much this movie in England, then they could have easily, they could have easily got away with that. Actually it's like, are you on generic English football club? Richmond AFC. From Ted. Letter you, you, you come even sit in executive box with me. We watch game of your Anglosphere football. What would not have done to the You're having an affair. It's a plot no it would have of the psychotic wife getting on a plane to Moscow scene.

She's taking a domestic flight to Dearborn, MI instead. That is a good like. Unannounced, gets on a Greyhound bus to the next town. You know what I love the energy that she thinks is having an affair, but she but she decides to like do a red eye Greyhound bus to it, surrounded by like screaming kids and people who've got warrants and stuff like that. It's like that the astronaut who like put on an A nappy and like drove across the country. It's like confront her husband and these new misses. Yes, incredible, incredible scenes.

So yeah, you could have you could have like had that kind of thing, couldn't you? In summary, hard agree, Mike. The could have could have made them more government connected, yet they did not. And I think it's because, well, you know, we're going to make it like the, you know, maybe some people aren't as villainous a nation as they used to be, cough, cough. Cough cough. France. France. Wow, caught a budget and all. The ending, when the camera cuts away at the end of the film, was just Emmanuel Macron taking his fingers to the desk, going.

Just. Bland. Like Nicholas Sarkozy and his wife Carla Bruni? Yeah. Fucking Sarkozy. It was like legitimately like Chevron maxing in real life, right? I mean, Sarkozy has become a fucking Bond villain. You know what he did like 10 days of prison or something that just walked out. It's like what even is with all due respect to a French list, that's what even is France. There's there's there is an insane document in your Netflix. I forget it's name but it's but it's like regarding the apprehension of 2 French private pilots who like allegedly smuggled a load of coke into some Latin American country and the French put on this egg special operation to get them back.

It was lead was arranged by some politicians, some MP and it was like kind of the tactical lead on it. The John Clark of it was. Basically fucking Jean Marie Le Pens big minder like he was incredibly linked to air front Nationale and it's wild. You should check it out. It's really fucking good. The everyman, isn't he? I mean, I suspect that's I mean, although you can't really be at the every man looking like Chris Pine. But but you know, I mean, I think that's sort of the the idea of it is that it it is, as I said before, instead of this kind of double O 7 character or the kind of Jason Bourne, it is the guy that's kind of found in the middle of something that he can't quite cope with and friends that, you know, he can.

So it's it's more along those lines than the kind of absolute trained killer, although he is also a trained killer. So we've got some hot takes and some mild takes, some cold takes on the casting of this film. It's got big name actors at the top of the bill, doesn't it? So we've got got Chris Payne who has been in a lot. Kevin Costner has been in a lot, Keira Knightley, who's been a lot. And we've covered Chris Payne and Kevin Costner in previous episodes. So probably more fat looking at Keira Knightley in her work.

Right. I mean Keira Knightley. You're a knightly. You mean Elizabeth Swan?

Much of course like a Shelvin try wearing your courses and

then just like fucking shoots them with multiple flintlock pistols that you pulls out of you see that's an old turn abandoned. She appears from the bushes and merks them with a blonde eppos one of. My favourite one of my favourite bit of of movie commentary is Keira Knightley talking to Orlando Bloom about the the first Pirates of the Caribbean movie, and she's talking about how she'll have a stunt double run up a flight of stairs for her in costume because Gore Vibinsky didn't want her falling over while running up a flight of stairs wearing a dress.

That's. Almost with Orlando Bloom. Wasn't that with a guy who plays Commodore Norrington, who's like just sits there and looks at her like. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, people. For running up the stairs. Oh, yeah, that's right. Yeah. Sorry. It's Yeah, it's yeah, that's right. It's Jack Davenport. You're absolutely right. Yeah. That's that's almost as good as Steven Seagal using a stunt double for walking scenes. And you can just hear the powdered wig in his disgust, so it's just like. You what? So good.

Angry powdered wig noises. And then he tells me how he took. Days to to. Try and learn how to fling around his sword just in the background, but he's just out of shot and not in focus so nobody really sees it and he's disappointed that nobody pays attention to it. I. Said fucking Mike Wazowski. Paid, covered by the barcode or whatever it is, and Monsters Inc. This was so hard to do. Nobody asked you to do this. Brilliant. So good. Keira Knightley. Obviously she's she's done some previous thriller Maxing.

She was in the film London Blvd in 2010, a crime thriller with Colin Farrell, Michael Fillus and Ben Chaplin, known from the first season of Game On before he dipped on Game On and went for a serious ass film career. We have hit some obscure British TV series. Yeah, Sonya's not going to know what Game On is it's awesome theme tune. We're at family heaven. Jesus Christ, Yeah. OK. OK, yeah, fucking. Wheels on the bus, right? Keira Dudley. Yeah, she was on a Tony Scott movie. Yeah. Domino. Domino we're.

Going to do that eventually I think where she puts an assassin. I think we need to because, because you know what? I haven't seen the film. It looks really fucking cool. I was. The ones that are going to Keira Knightly with guns, so I guess. I visceral memory of being at when I was at uni and Preston 2004 to 2006 seven. There was like a giant big billboard immediately outside my window in my in my third year. And then I just remember like a good like one month long stretch of just being a giant pitcher of Keira Knightley.

So everybody like there's Keira Knightley, good morning, Keira Knightley and there's and there's. That's incredibly city living pill that. I actually love it. Yeah. Like that's like this. This was a season of your life that was a neo noir kind of film. What every morning you wake up your blinds? That's. Like you're like Kieran Heightley's looking at me again. Oh. My God. Yeah, it's like that bit. From from the new Blade Runner. That's exactly it. That's not good, Joe. You look lonely. I can fix that.

God no, she couldn't fix that. She could make me worse.

Yeah. Yeah, she, she has been in quite a few pretty fucking great films. But then again, she is like one of the big actors in this movie. So I wouldn't look at like, like I said, one of the ones like below the lines kind of thing, you know? Can we talk about Com Fiore? Yes, he plays Jack Ryan's boss in this at Wall Street, at the Bank, Yes, but we saw him very recently in the Summer of All Fears, as the South African arms dealer who gets his throat slipped by John Clark. Yes, get in. That's all I want to say.

Fucking amazing. We have guys rule the top line. Like I said, we've got Constantine, one of the one of the local CIA team in Moscow as a guy called Len Kuldrovsky, actually born in the USSR. This guy's done some major, major thriller Maxing. He's done lots and lots of German cinema. Intriguingly, I'm going to pull some of these up and just like, run names of films by Sonia. Actually, let's watch Sonia's reaction. Yeah, let's just fucking really quickly pull this guy's pedigree or land stuff he has done in German.

Katherine Wundt Vladimir was his first role in ATV movie in 1996. No reaction. Yeah, no Russian fua Allah fella Stephanie TV series. No reaction. No reaction Operation Phoenix. A slight furrowing of the brow. Slight furrowing of the Brow ATV series from 1997. I have no explanation of this at all. Hold on. When it first aired in 1997, it was discontinued or discontinued after only one episode. Sonia was a baby. Yeah, Sonia was literally just born. The remaining 10 did you to poor feedback and like, if you asked, the remaining 10 episodes were finally aired in 1999.

Wow. 3 Of course he was in Babylon Berlin, by the way. Oh. I was Babylon Berlin. Yeah, Babylon Berlin mentioned, right, Look. Look this guy up. Yeah, dear Koos, this guy Grass hoop fuzz? Is that the kiss of the grasshoppers? Sadly. The what Come again? Dear Koos des Grass Hoop Fuzz. You know he was in. I'm just looking up. You know he was in Tom Clancy's Jack Ryan TV series, right? Yep it was indeed. I was coming like saw Han Lichkin that was in the series that had the Russians in it as as villains I believe.

This. Oh, I've not, I've not got off to that one yet. Right. It is not the best. Yeah, it isn't the best. He was like, I mean, this, this guy is like, Russian boxed in a lot of his characters for obvious reasons. I love these TV movies that have English and German in the title. Starfighter Z Volten, Dan Himel. Aeroburn. Blinking. Blinking from the sun. Yeah. Yeah, I'm just getting German pulled PTSD from Starfighters being mentioned. We bought these and we decided to use them for close air support instead of as an interceptor and then wondered why everyone kept running their into the ground at Mach 3.

And so there there's an ongoing joke in in Germany that used to go, if you want to buy a Starfighter, just buy an acre of land. Incredible. Well Sonia, do I have a series summary for you? Young pilots of the German Air Force only want to fly the new Starfighter, but after a short time, more and more pilots crash and die, and the German government and the Air Force cover up these incidents. And for synopsis it reads. It looks like we don't have any synopsis for this title yet. Amazing. Gemma Chan playing Amy Chang, the other CIA officer involved in like the little surveillance van thing who gets very, very few lanes.

Yeah, I remember. Which is a shame. I'm a. Creator. Yeah, she's a big run, humans. Big run. That's that's right. She's going to be in the new Double O 7 First light game by IO Interactive. The hit, the hit the hit the hit. My developers making their Bond movie game. Sure, that'll be awesome. Looking forward to that. Yeah, she was in Don't Worry Darling. Yeah. And the Eternals. Doctor Who as well, because yeah, she was the Eternals. Sigh. She was in Doctor Who. Like I think every every British actor has to have go at that in in one point.

Elena Velikonova the the assistant of Chevron, another Russian born a USSR born actor in this film mainly worked in Russian TV and cinema. Most recent role was in a PSP, the Russian remake of the TV show Medium. Wow. Which is a thing that exists. She was in that she was in that sort of one season run in 2024, Jack Ryan shadow recruits one of the few Anglosphia films she's worked on. According to Wikipedia. In 2022, she was like, I'm fucking off from Russia and literally fled to Ukraine and moved to Kiev.

So this was like a Russian actually made it to Kiev, OK. Move. So, yeah, like she was like, so she obviously took took the kind of the right side of history move there. I think we can, we can all agree, maybe even the FSB officer who probably has to listen to this because we do have one listen. From Russia before he's turned on his VPN. Fucking hell he has. Like, no, no, I am. I am Johnny Americansky. Fuck the Dodgers. Yeah. Can you? See by Vladimir Putin's red light. So yeah, she she she's done a bunch of Russian stuff, a lot of comedies, a lot of serious stuff.

She was in a film called the best movie in 2008. And here is a summary. Vatic Volnov dies on his own wedding of cannabis overdose and has to prove to God that he is worthy to enter heaven. During this conversation with God's secretary, Vatic recalls numerous memorable moments of his earthly existence. It's like I'm the first man to die of wheat overdose. I would I would stand up to hell just for being so weak with his drugs. The sleeper agent assassin played by Alec Witkoff. Yes, another Slavic actor playing a Slavic character.

Holy shit. This film is Slav maxing with its costume, which is pretty impressive because it's like a lot of these films, you'll see a bunch of guys like kind of Branner. He'll just don't don't have the. Brass neck of that man, Yeah, to fill his movie with actual Eastern Europeans and Slavs and then him to go. But I will play the big Russian bad guy. I classically trained Kenneth Branagh from from a Royal Shakespeare Company both to this Russian crime boss. Yeah, so Alec Ludkov, born in Kiev, moved to the UK at an early age, obviously born the Ukrainian SSR at the time that came that Dan got his independence.

After he moved here, I think he was in slow horses. He isn't slow horses. And he was in Mission Impossible Rogue Nation as an A400 crewman. His his first his first role in Anything was playing Chief Hacker in an episode of Spooks in 2010. There we go, Spooks mentioned. A show that is now shown on the IMDb is being called MI 5. I don't. Know what it's about and this is syndicated. Probably syndicated in the States I imagine, but he's best known as Doctor Alexi or Alexi in Stranger Things. Assure that I've got no knowledge of at all.

It's a total cultural blind spot. For. Me. He's also in the show called River or was in a short river with a friend of the podcast, Stalin Skarsgard, the man who burned his future for Sunrise. You'll never see the man who was an arrogant ass and he killed us.

So that's that's like a guy who's gone from say gone. He's gone from being a kind of major character in Jack Ryan shadow recruit to being a fucking random pilot at the start of Rogue Nation in the big A400 stunt. Right? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Oh that's cool. Nonsu and Nosy played BB Deng. Yes. He's done a lot of voice acting work. Mandalorian, Doctor Who, he's done video game work for games such as Brink, the game I'm aware of, Golden Compass, the game I'm aware of, the flopped conflict denied OPS a game I'm not aware of.

But boy boy oh boy. If it's got one word and a colon and then 2 words after it, all bets are off. Man, that's a fucking go. He opened his career with Thriller Maxing as well. He was in Prime Suspect. He was in the 2011 Conan. That I still think's good. He played Idi Amin in Seven Days and Tabby. I think he's well cast in that. I'm going to throw this to the Shakespearean boys in the team. Do you think he was well cast as Oberon in The Midsummer Night's Dream? Yeah, probably. I'll say he's got that kind of gravitas about.

Him. Yeah, I think so, yeah. He played Samson in the biblical miniseries The Bible. I'm not getting shit fights about the casting of a series, but the Bible stories. But I can see him pulling those pillows down, man, you know, and on a total domestic living situation. My wife has been trying to cut my hair all weekend. Do not to SAP my energy to. SAP. My energy and last bit of casting, we've got Pieta Anderson, Smita Shaktar playing Dimitri Evans, head of security. This guy's Swede Max, he's Nordic Pills.

He was in fucking Wallander for a start. Plus you can't get. Yeah, yeah. You can't get more Nordic. More than that. He was in all three of the original. Another European, I was going to say another European accent kind of runner feels confident that he's that he can do. Yes, holy shit, the brass neck of kind of bra man. I bet he. Fucking, I bet he fucking goes to McDonald's drive through and like all those things and like a fucking Venezuelan accent or something like that. And then and then he pulls up the window and just like the audacity, the audacity of this man.

Kenny B What the hell? Kenny B? But yeah, Anderson was in all three of the Swedish versions of the girl with the XYZ tattoo girl, The drum tattoo girl Who? Playing one of the one of it to the fire. Antagonists. He was in it's spin off TV series Millennium and he's recently was in a drama series called Estonia about the sinking of the Ms Estonia that I would prefer not to watch because that would be harrowing. Yeah. Fucking harrowing. So yeah, there goes some interesting notes, I think about the casting weapons free.

It isn't like a super, super gun heavy film. I do like the kind of quite silly gun check table they have at the airport, like. They're just lying there. They're just lying. On a fucking folding table magazines out next to them on under the gaze of some probably underpaid civil servants you know and like DB Deng retrieves as as ACZ 100 from it. There's some other stuff on there. There's there's some kind of parata. There's there's an IMI sorry, iwi Jericho. And what like about this is when he gets to the hotel, he puts a suppressor on it at some point.

So Jack Ryan doesn't really leave a sight. So he doesn't leave Jack Ryan's sight really on Jackie Boy walks ahead of him in the hotel. So we can assume that when he's turned his pistol in to the, to the border guards or whatever, right, he's kept the suppressor on his pocket. So he's like going through like fucking security cheques with just this fucking can just in his trousers. And they're like, what's that? And he's like, oh, it's just a, it's just a Ugandan oil philtre. Don't worry about it.

He has, he has fucking 20 rubles for the value of about 7 cents or something. It's got whatever, we don't care. Fucking love that sidearm is a hack run cock USP. Now we've established in Canon of the show that the G36 is the rifle of cunts, right? Very few decent people in these films or throughout films in general seem to use the G36. However, we don't have the data yet to show if hack run cock make sidearms exclusively for cunts in movies as well. Sonia, what's your service pistol? I have to check who actually produces that piece of fuck.

Come. The main issue with the with the P8 is that it's too big for most people. I have. A very big, they're very big aircraft, yeah. Yeah, yeah, exactly. I have. I have, I have hands the size of frying pans. But most people don't. And it's got a rather large trigger weight if you compare it to to every other service pistol available to anyone else, especially if you compare it to German police weapons. And always fun, because this leads to mostly women not being able to use the damn thing, probably because their hands are just too small.

But yeah, it's. It's accessibility issue. HK yeah. There we go. So Sonia's. Sonia's certified Not a cunt so however. You say not now, just give me 5 minutes. I'm shifting it a cunt. I am a terrible pistol marksman as well, so that's not. I mean, you know, if you're using a pistol, the situation's gone too far, right? I mean, you use your pistol to fight where the enemy's rifle or whatever they say, you know so. I'm a Navy man, I use the pistol to blow my brains on so I don't capture. It just like lies down on the fucking like naval head sight himself.

Oh, Hans Lansdorf mentioned. I have the behind me. Jesus. Fucking Christ.

What was that? Was that just do we just do a reference to the pocket battleship? Grass Bay? Oh my God. Whoa. Back too soon. I. Mean we've talked about like 911. So I think we talk of the grass at this point. I don't think it's too. Soon might be for real though. In which? In which situation? In the Navy? Yourself. Do you see yourself needing a handgun if you're not part of a boarding Team I? Was going to say unless I'm in a boarding team I don't know representative sport. Possibly actually a fun time.

Last fun fact, last time I had a handgun mentioned, one ship was during trying to do annual handgun qualifications at sea and it took about 1 shooter for the first which came to fall into the Baltic Sea. Beautiful. Stuff and I was sat in the OPS room at the time and we're just watching the the firing drills through the flight deck camera and we're just something like, did he just. He did. There's nothing better. There's nothing better than than watching someone fuck up at work but through a camera feed where you have nothing to do with the evolution.

Yeah, I love that on the bridge of a worship boards watch watch the aft deck camera. Surely the William Lambie David slew in board one of our sea foxes the training round and just watch the fall out of the fall out of it's like launcher onto the deck. It's like, So what the fuck that? But it wasn't me. It's like watching a very mild version of LiveLeak where it's just people having embarrassing accidents. It's not people like being gunned down in like the streets of Mexico City, that kind of thing.

Yeah. And just just last bit like a pistol maxing and like storytelling. I think it's actually because I always say that like with like the armouring of these films that often like a kind of odd stuff for the story, that's it's mainly aimed at people like me who were like undiagnosed. But something's not right and. By the way, I'm using T-shirt for me, for you Mike, probably as well the screen crop, it just says diagnosed for me. Luckily, looking at our YouTube figures, nobody watches this, so it's all right.

We'll put so much fucking visual humour in what goddammit as well that's. Probably a bad thing for a podcast dude. We'll check it out. Can you? Audibly wear a costume. We need audio kind of descriptions, right? But it's got to be Brian Blessed doing it. We Oh my God, we should, we should do like Shakespeare scene or stage directions like Enter Rory wearing a green shirt. I have a delivery coming. Excellent. What you egg so? It's an Internet connection. So don't. Don't fucking jinx it. Let's move this thing along before it happens.

See, I've asked, but like I said, a little bit like a little bit of a bit of kind of storytelling is the only like really representation of Soviet weapons apart from like an AKS 74 you you briefly see at the airport is Trivium gets iced with a suppressed Makarov. And that's like the the old school Soviets getting rid of the guy who's done the wet work, Baryshnikov. This fucking turns up an Icism. I have a fun fact about Russians doming people with Russian guns, by the way. The KGB used to be just internal things and their main job used to be just doming people in prisons, and they tended to use Russian guns for that.

But Russian guns in that time were shit so they actually bought German guns. Holy. Fuck, so they were actually using PPKS to Dome people in prisons? Bloody hell. Technically, shooting someone with a Makarov isn't very Russian Secret Service. Yeah, but it's like Soviet Union coded. But you're totally right there, Miss. You're you're. We are shooting so many people so fast the guns jam doesn't leave. Does someone have a gun that doesn't jam? German efficiency The NKVD officers who killed the Romanov family used Browning pistols.

Oh man, yeah. There you go. America mentioned, American industrial complex mentioned Yeah, Baryshnikov is in the film that was filmed near where you work. It was a film called White Knights and it was filmed in Campbeltown at the air base there of. Course, Yeah, well, it's an airport now, but yeah. Yeah, yeah. So that that that was a friend and former guest to the podcast, Jen Messers. One like, holy shit, there was this film. It's a kind of your ally kind of thing. It's like thrill movie that was filmed like where I'm where where my moms from, you know, so.

That's wild, though. I keep getting that. Moms from Campbellton. I'm there always. I'm driving there immediately after this call. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, just go go fucking say hi, your Jones extended family when you're there and like, hey, she's not a podcast, why don't you start listening? To it. I did have a funny, funny Americans moment in Campbelltown last week when I was in a fish and chip shop and there's two American tourists there talking to the guy and the guy owns the fit shop. It's like they're like a Bangladeshi family.

And they were talking for a few minutes. The wife had to step out and get some cash and come back and she was talking to me. When she came back, she was like, he was like, I've just been talking to the guy and she was like, oh cool, where is he from? And then he went, I don't know. And it was like, mate, you were talking to her about Bangladesh for like 5 minutes. I stood right here, listen to the whole thing. You've already like brain dumped it. What the fuck? And then it's like so rude. And then Oh my God.

And then the woman, because she's never been on a chip trip before and doesn't know how it works. Obviously just go in there, you ask for what you haven't and then you pay for it when it's already. But because she wasn't given a ticket and there wasn't a fucking McDonald's screen that said like collect your order or anything. She's she went back up to the counter was like, do I have to order again? I was like, it's good. Tuesday evening, kind of calm down. Oh my God. Like, yeah, amazing cultural differences.

So yeah, weapons. Quotes Who's got any good bars from this film? I was just going to ask Mike, since we've talked about Ryan's CIA bosses position on in the organisation before that guy gets on a sniper rifle, do you know any commanders you trust around a sniper rifle? Because I can't think of a single one. Yeah, I was going to think about like a yeah, U.S. Navy, like 3 ring commander come, but with a sniper rifle. Jesus Christ. Yeah, that's seriously dangerous. Yeah, that's like battleship levels of plot nonsense.

She's paid Officer Rihanna running the Yeah butter the minigun. At least we don't ever seen when he assembles it from its fucking component parts, puts a scope on it, doesn't even bore sight or anything, and is immediately perfect and got to go. So you have quotes from the film bars? I think the quote about being it's it's a QP dog. Quasi personal. I took it from someone's yard. I'm paraphrasing but that was good. That was a bar. Yeah, I don't think, I think it's like epically written enough for it.

I have like loads and loads of bars, but like there's lots of stuff that's weird, like the I'm in the CIA, thank God. And like the reaction to that, Different time, different empire, same graveyard. That's pretty cool I guess. I mean, The thing is when when most people look at the room, did you know that I know the Afghanistan's graveyard vampires, man. It's a bit like guy down the pub who's like listen to runs like the one guy in the gym who gives you shit and he can't lift man, and you got to punish him.

That kind of shit kind of. Brana does actually sound kind of cool and wise. There's another one. Yeah. So kind of Brana sells a lot of this dialogue for all the sass we've given him today. Yeah, he does do pretty well with what he's got. Kathy Miller, if if we're going to be married, I like to know that I can trust him. Victor Shevrin. Trust truth, I think is like. I think it's like most opinions. Best unexpressed. Yeah. Sorry. That's good. Oh, Jack Ryan. Jesus, you weren't kidding. You are in the CIA, Harper.

Somebody has to be. Someone has to be. Someone has to be. It's a living. It's a fucking living, right? Victor Cheravin. I liked where our. You flew all the way to Moscow to surprise him or to catch him, which was. I like that. I like that regret. It piles up around us like books we never read. Oh, that's good. Actually I like. That that is actually a fucking bar. Very poetic and. And it kind of like kind of pushes him. It's like this very intellectual kind of guy. He was always like aware that time was fucking short from.

So that is a decent little line. Oh, this is a good one actually, from Com Fiore. Who's his boss, Rob Behringer. Viktor Scheffern is completely unpredictable and it's, and it's Russia. Insider trading is legal over there. It's the Wild West. They're still ideologues, but the new ideology is money. They're not a country, they're a corporation, which is why we're here in the 1st place. I don't, I know I don't, don't rock the boat, Behringer. It's not a boat. It's a goddamn luxury yacht. And we're all together, so don't fucking sink us.

It's Roman Abramovich's luxury yacht with the fucking sea Wiz. System on it. So yeah, I think that's decent. Sonia, any, any bars from you? Any good quotes that you enjoyed? No, I, I, we, you've covered it pretty much. I think overall this film was fairly unquotable. Yeah. There is one more Amy, Amy Chan. It's like when when Chevron like leaves the building, she's using all the code words. She goes exit. Snowball is rolling. Yeah, and. That's a what? Doable. I like it. And also they have they have they have like a bird code name, don't they?

As well like the units got a bird related code name, which is very Condor pill. And also going back to my absolute adoration of Mary Pat Foley from the from the Tom Clancy, Jack Ryan novels, all of the agents she ran had bird code names like Cardinal of the Problem, etcetera. So this is just another post from Rory, the chief of the Mary Pot Foley Fan Club. One thing annoyed me. He's cool. Oh, that's yeah, that's cool. Sorry. One thing annoyed me, which is when Jack Ryan pieces together that it's a diversion, the bomb's going to be somewhere else.

Think he goes, it's a diversion. The painting in Chevron's office, it's right out of Napoleon's playbook. It's Waterloo. And I'm like, he fucking lost Waterloo. He. Famously lost Waterloo. That's not like a strategic genius that was a second run son of. A bitch. It's his dad son's birthday. He always destroys the American economy in the bottom half of the hour. Biggest missed opportunity this film the the Domingo Chavez Missed Opportunity Award. Now I've got a few, but you guys go first think. The Heists wasn't in an interesting enough building, you know what I mean?

Like they could have staged that in a more interesting location. So the restaurant was just like a restaurant. The building he has is just a building and he's got like his logo, all of the walls and stuff inside it's. A shit logo as well by the way. It looks like a fucking secret sigil you see outside in Vampire nightclub in Blade. I was thinking, as I often do, like in terms of what would be a good hitman level. And the good hitman level for this right is like the Kremlin itself, right? I know that you obviously can't do it in the Kremlin because he's not part of the establishment, he's not part of the government or whatever.

But I was also thinking about what what's one of the most maligned hitman levels, which is that one in Colorado where it's just like a terrorist training camp in the middle of like rural America? I don't know. No, I just didn't feel like the middle of efforts like go to Russia and go to Moscow, and I feel like they didn't use it well off. I mean, will it be like the film, that particular scene that buildings in London of? Course it is. Yeah, I mean the film, the car chase scenes in Liverpool. Brilliant.

Yeah. There you go. This one talking about like, that's cool. That's like moving magic or whatever. But like if you're gonna, if you're gonna have the whole thing of having Moscow there, like don't just have it be like set dressing for like a couple of key scenes, like fold it into the plot properly. There's the same thing on Firefox where they had like they filmed Mr in Vienna, didn't they? Then had like a few shots. That were like, I think in in like Czech Republic or Finland or something like that.

Yeah, I mean, but that was like real, real, real fucking hate the Cold War kind of shit. They couldn't even get like AK-40 sevens and any like real numbers to to like equip the actors used Finnish Valmet rifles. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, so I don't know, I just I just felt like that was the thing I think I think I think our earlier points about folding the sleeper cell plot more into the movie because I thought is easily the more interesting film. If I was going to watch like a multi series TV show, like, I don't know, like the Americans, like what, what would I prefer to watch it about?

Like this financial box or sleeper sleeper agents in like industrialised America in in in the five of the states. That's really interesting. Yeah, and and it's like, that is interesting. I've got a thing I'm just going to kind of swing into regarding the locations as well, because I think a missed opportunity was to have more location shoots in the places that they're meant to be. Because I think some points really does show that. A lot of it was filmed in England. The forest scenes clearly feel very English.

I did get some interesting location notes. I'm going to quickly divert into super, super quick. So I said there's a bare minimum of US location shots. A lot of the New York stuff is London, a lot of the Moscow stuff is London and Liverpool and Dearborn, MI scenes are shot in South Hatfield in Hertfordshire. The the church is the Church of Saint John and the strip ball is the old South Hatfield shopping parade. And now the thing that kind of made me go to rabbit hole on this is like the kind of goofs section or IMDb size.

There's a National Lottery sign visible during the scene when the young sleeper agents had run in to catch the FBI guy in Shankham. And it is like, you still like the National Lottery kind of like circular signs taking off. It's got an M on it now for Michigan, I guess. Yeah, it could be you. The sleeper agent could be you. You might not even know that. Use The Winter Soldier activation words on you. They might just say I'm tired of this orgasm when you become like a killing machine. But I did like a quick bit of like super undiagnosed looking into things about this bit of set dressing because they really did go all out and go quite hard making this look like an American strip mall with all its like shop fronts and stuff.

And it does look quite legit. And I think there's a goof on the iron baby gives it a bit of short shrift and says, oh, look, these fucking idiots are still a National Lottery signal. The signs fully changed, but I found it online. I found the location. The South Hadfield Shopping Parade is now being demolished. It is. It is just next to the church as well. So it's kind of hyperlocal weight shot, which I do like. But there's a pub in the air it that's still there. And you know what man, that pub's got a flat roof.

There's a flat roof pub called the Hatfield Tap just next to it. It was called The Harrier, I think at the time the film was made. So this is the first film that we've done when you see legit, actual, factual, probably ultraviolent flat roofed pub. This is very British. Has Kenneth Branagh ever had a point in a flat roof pub? I think he probably has. He's not had a fight in a flat roof pub's car park. He's never won a meat raffle in a flat roof pub. He's he's never done that thing when a member of boss half drops a glass and he goes in in the flat roof pub.

I. Think he's been in an FRP? Definitely. They could have made Kathy more psychotic. How? Oh.

Or he could have had an actual affair. Yeah. Ryan doesn't do that. Far too Catholic. Missed opportunity. He doesn't like skid the border bike and look down the camera and go, I'm Roman Catholic and what? He could have done is is made that I have to think of that when when he calls the the operator and she goes calm down you're a Marine. They could have done a scene where Kathy makes him do that super cringe TikTok video of that. He's a Marine, loyal, pestified. They could have done. That. That would have been a great unhinged couples activity thing to to just show how weird these two really are.

I really love that actually. She could have been like made making people call her like Mrs Mrs Lieutenant Jack Ryan, like doctor, doctor, Lieutenant Jack Ryan, a Lieutenant Jack Ryan, Kathy Ryan, Fucking dependent spouse unhanged. Surgeon, Lieutenant Kathy Ryan, ME Mueller, Brackets, Spouse. Thank me for my service. She's brilliant. Honestly, I was with my my hometown. Guy a Lieutenant for. Yeah, well, a matter. Of weeks long enough to learn how to use the, the the. Second left side Jack Ryan. Yeah, he.

Was Gentleman Jack Ryan? Could you imagine that sprog British? Did like that's what he was doing. I don't think he's a. British Jack Ryan. It's this movie. Pro artist. Man this is the most pro CIA film I've ever seen. I I have to rewatch Zero Dark 30, which might be like give it a run for its money, but like, but this is like the most pro CIA movie I've ever seen. So the point which was I did the CIA and they go thank God and then like and then they even like and they tip a lampshades of the fact that the CIA might be a little bit problematic and then they just go not my unit, not my part of the CIA.

Not my circus, not my monkeys, mate. Yeah, I'm, I'm the good guy, CIA. I'm the CIA intelligence agency. Yeah, exactly. God. Yeah, we're not like the other boys. Yeah, we only do good stuff. We only investigate real baddies, and we don't do anything that crosses any funky lines. Even though you're a spy. Yeah, it's ridiculous. Yeah, it's. Full throated chest out, pro CIA. Big time. It's it's also Marine Corps propaganda. Oh yeah, big time. You're Marine. You can handle being a super spy like he he was.

He was a marine out of Academy for like 5 minutes before he took an RPG to his back. So. He doesn't know shits in. Terms of being a Marine. It was. It was in exactly long enough to know how. Like the kind of harnesses work in the helicopters. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which is. It's also British Leyland propaganda because none of the cars breakdown. Yeah, yeah. Jack Jack Ryan doesn't immediately slip on an oiled slick trying to run after the defender. There isn't a scene when an oligarch's driver gets out and starts kicking the wheel of a smoke Land Rover.

It's also not rusty. It looks like the AC works. There's no condensed water on the inside of the windows. Condensed water. The scene begins and like sure Evans drive out, grabs like a towel that they keep in the fucking passenger seats, wipes the window down. That's how I get going between September and April. I'll just have you know. That's a significant amount of the year, Sonia. I mean, it's hamburger, it's it's wet, we get sun for like 2 days a year. So it's it's always moist, but. Yeah, there's another scene where like, Kathy Ryan gets pulled a Land Rover and she just complaints the jacket smelled like an old leather jacket.

People should change their minds. This is just, this car's just a toy for grown-ups, to be honest. Yes, I will stop at a traffic light and random family fathers will stop, grin at me and give me two thumbs up. Just something like, okay, cool guy, I'm just trying to get to work. But thanks, I appreciate it. Yeah. Brother man, it's a truck and it's British, okay, there's thousands of these, but thank you for your. Dozens of us. Dozens of us.

Dozens of us, 70% of all Land Rovers are still on the road, the other 30% made at home. But.

It's amazing. It's, it's weird and I've, I've like Emma, not you. And Emma has been like, what, what are you doing with this car? And then she sat inside of it like 5 times. I was actually, this is kind of fun. And then we had to drive, drive it for once. And she was like, maybe I want one too. It's like make up your mind you're not getting this one at least. I I I think the only thing more difficult than a relationship with 1 Land Rover is a relationship with two Land Rovers involved. We really should have, like serious conversations before they commit to having Land Rovers.

And if you and if you're having a Land Rover to try and save the relationship, that's for the wrong reason. Yeah. If you're cool, yeah, cool, bring them indoors. You live an hour away, I will be there too. Possibly on the back of a tow truck. You never can't tell. Anything can happen there. This is great. This is the podcast of where I think we've discussed the film the least, but in good but it's been very good fun. But back to the movie. So grossest oversell of them. Oh, I thought it. Was. Done.

Boy, oh boy, oh boy. I mean, it's got that bit in the plane where they just like analyse a little data that anybody knows how they got, how it got collected. In the first place, in just rapidly as well. Just just typed kind of branner into Google and just go. That's like, I know that like the sea in any real state that the NSA can read the time off your fucking wristwatch. The CIA is not going to be able to pull up some dead Russian kids death certificate in moments. This is something that you need a scene when someone gets into archives in Russia.

This is the scene. We need a John Clark kind of guy who speaks fluent Russian and bribes his way in with a packet of cigarettes. Who's digitising worship? Exactly like, and you're going to do a better fucking job of hiding your sleep out agent. You're going to scrub things off the Internet. You're going to get rid of documents, you're going to hide stuff. There's no need for a death certificate because this kid became fucking ghost mode, right? You know, to say this kid died in some some random Russian Republic where they didn't have a decent amount of documentation for things or whatever, or, you know, he never had a son.

He never had a son. No, it's a mystery. It's a mystery. You know, the rapidly go through a lot of things that could have been another 25 minutes of the film. Yeah. And that's a massive oversell. Would it have been interesting though? That's my that's my question. Yeah, yeah, you are. You are tension at the investigatory things by them saying we've got to get a guy in the archives not know fucking Saint Petersburg or. Whatever. Yeah, No, I get you. Yeah, I'm just thinking like the tone of the movie they're trying to make.

I think the thing about the Jack Ryan movies, right, is that they are. I think Jack Ryan is character actually is like deeply entrenched in like the 80s and 90s, I think. And the kind of movie that supports a Jack Ryan type adventure is a thing of the past. I don't think. I think. I think I think some of our fears was behind the times when it came out. Yeah. And got and got supported by by made and born. Major 90s DNA in that film. Yeah, exactly. And I think this whilst it's trying to be like a a 20, it's mid twenty 10s.

This came out. It doesn't feel like it. It feels like again feels like early noise, but kind of behind the behind the curve a bit. Yeah, I just, yeah, part of that that DNA is that they've they've simplified it too much. Yeah as well. Join the docs for you. Yes. Oh, we've got it. We've got it. We've found it. We've found awesome, awesome. Let's move on. And it's like I don't know man. Also jokes aside they could have had them like pouring through kitchen cells on Reddit and and like find like the Assassin's kitchen cells post.

Like, jokes aside, kitchen cells, man. Like, he thinks there's jokes coming. Yeah. Fuck, fuck, fuck my sleeper agent Russian cell life. Talk to a female today. She told me to go back to told me to go back to Canada. I'm not even from Canada. Look at my pot of Porsche that I made. I'm going to rope Max tonight, you know. OK. So reviews, reviews, reviews. 3.6 runch and not great, not terrible. 2 1/2 star review from Mike right. OK, so the recent reviews I'm going to go again like we normally do through the half of stars through to the actual good reviews.

Solid one stars. Am I weird that this is the first Keira Knightley movie that I've watched crying emoji. But I mean, depending on your age and you know your your your proximity to Keira Knightley films, maybe not watched by Harrison 12th of February 2026. Absolute dog shit Charlene says could smell that scenario from far away. And then there's some stuff in French, which is it's a waste of time. I've got one of these ones. When people reference their friends, opinions, quotes. This is like Mission Impossible with all the action scenes taken out.

Chandler. Thanks, Chandler. Well, our friends. Kenneth Branagh is not a convincing Russian. Yes correct. Watched at the nail salon and it suck. I love you Keira Knightley. Find some slightly better ones now. 1 1/2 stars. How many? Jack Ryan and Jack reach Sharon. Jack Bleach. Sharon. Jack Bryan. Can we Jack up here? There's too many five star reviews this film. Oh my God, this is just sorry, 1/2 sauce. This is just Tony Dinozzo, the character who was already being played by notorious sexual harasser Michael Weatherly in the long running Naval Criminal Investigative procedural NCIS and is to this day played by notorious sexual harasser Michael Weatherly and Tony and Zeva, a Paramount Plus original.

This is simply not Jack Ryan. S005C0032003M005 Total 016 to be tuned with fucking Russian number station. At this point the review goes on the worst looking Harris Zamba Lucas picture I've seen. But part of that is the edit and part of that is 2014. Imagine being kind of runner threatening a woman in a moving car in the set of tenant and having to admit, yeah this is way better than how I was doing a scene like this. My own movie. Funny to watch a movie about a Russian agent betting on the prospect of a successful terrorist attack in America after a successful terrorist attack by America was successfully bet on, possibly by the president himself.

4th of January 2020. Sixth, by the way, this was this was around the Venezuela attack time. Obviously it's always a dude named Jack for some reason. Well, obviously this person doesn't know Jack. Oh, it's half stars. That just reminded me. Yeah, sorry. Something somebody pissed me off about the movie. Jack Ryan doesn't wear cargo shorts. Jack Ryan would not wear cargo shorts. Fuck no. God damn. Jack Ryan would wear exclusively dad coat jeans pulled a bit too high up, even like the modern like Ted Kaczynski.

Jack Ryan wouldn't wear cargo shorts. It was nice, John. Krasinski. I know what's his name but I could get him confused. I suppose slacks you wouldn't with cargo. What's carry on please? Yeah, 3 1/2 stars. It feels too over hated.

I don't think anyone really hates this film. I don't have. It's not, it doesn't. It's not strong enough to to engender hate. Insanely over hated. Yeah it's predictable and a little cheesy, but what do you expect from a Jack Ryan movie? Well no, I I I expect different from a Jack Ryan movie. Dawson 2. Did your first account get deleted for wrong opinions? Overall entertaining and fun movie. Cool heresy here. Better than pay it. We get games. No. And that Amazon series version. I would throw away my oligarchy to flirt with Keira Knightley.

Cirrhosis or no cirrhosis. Come come soon to ITV. Cirrhosis or no cirrhosis, Jack Ryan fires me the fuck up. I legit believe I can do what he does. The whole digging into financial stuff, not the fight against the Russian agent and the sewers. The problem is that I like to drink as much as kind of the Branner of this movie. Also it kind of cracks me up that he there that he directed this movie. Dude likes to do all these Shakespearean plays and serious shit, but I respect that he can enjoy something like this.

Oh mate, you're going to love Poirot. Amazing. Very similar Tom Clancy's in rainbows thumbs up emoji You're there are two rainbow emojis. Very epic rainbow emoji. Rainbow flag emoji from ladies Man the birth. I love this shit and just I want to finish on five stars. Watch it at 3:00 AM and it becomes a cinematic masterpiece. Wow, beautiful. Beautiful stuff, insightful as always. Might be tempted to do it, maybe not, Who knows? OK, probably not. Guys, let's be real. Yeah, I gather that thinks it's to the end of this wonderful episode of Clear and Present dudes.

So he does. Next time we will be watching the movie Cisco Pike from 1971 starring a young Kris Kristofferson. Yeah. And Gene Hackman, so pretty pretty excited about that. Haven't seen it, so that should be good. I don't have any of us seen that movie. I have seen some of it. The main reason I picked it is that our episode is going out on the weed day the 20th of April. Blaze it indeed. And I I just did a bit of a Google about thrillers that involve weed and this one came up along with like Pineapple Express.

It's more of a comedy thriller, and if I'm not going to fucking do Pineapple Express, I'm going to do this really, really obscure Kris Kristofferson film. It's on YouTube twice. There's two versions on YouTube. One of them has been copyright hit big time, and a load of it's muted. I think we're going to have to like, post a link to the one that's not been copyright struck when we put that episode up, just so people know what the fuck we're talking about. Yeah, cool. Brilliant. Well, I look forward to that, white chaps.

I've got to do a long drive. So let's let's, let's, let's wrap this thing up. So guys, we have been clear and present dudes. Got them boys, easy claps. Nice. Did it, boys. Right, OK.

Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit (2014)

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